♀ ♂ ♀ ♂ ♀
It's been almost a month since I had sex for the first time.
When I returned home and turned into a man, just as I had expected, any remaining hangover-like feeling was completely gone.
What on earth is the principle behind this?
I continued to think as if I was setting up a novel or a comic book, making assumptions about the structure of the phenomenon of changing into this woman, and writing down each of those assumptions on paper.
But I don't know what's true. I just think about it, but I have no way to prove it, and even if I did, I have no intention of putting it into practice.
I think the surest way to find out if I'm really turning into a woman or not is to get pregnant.
But I have no desire to get pregnant at all, the thought of me being pregnant… is so terrifying and scary.
It's a ridiculous Korean Yangsanpyeong fantasy, but is it possible that my female body is in some kind of subspace, and that the moment I lick the stone, the coordinates of my body and body are swapped in the subspace, and only my mind is fixed?
If by any chance it really is a similar structure, then even if I get pregnant, I can return to being a man.
No matter how much I think about it, I can't understand the structure of how I change into a woman. To begin with, the very idea of changing gender to a completely different person is a fantasy-like situation... .
For a month, I tried to ease the shock of having sex with a black man in my head by doing some experiments on my body.
First, if you change from a woman to a man, you will fall asleep quickly.
If the interval between going from male to female and back to male is less than two hours, I become unbearably sleepy. But I can still move around without sleeping, so I think this is the limit.
I thought that changing from a man to a woman would drain my energy, but even though I kept changing and changing for a month, I didn't lose any weight, feel thirsty, or feel hungrier than usual.
What on earth do you use as an energy source to change your body?
Second, the more you continue to have sex as a man, the more you will become a woman and become itchy because you want to have sex.
I don't know why I do this, but my sexual desire remains the same. Since masturbating as a woman feels better, I transformed into a woman for a few days and just masturbated. When I was a man, I held back, but I was satisfied with feeling good as a woman. But after about a week, my lower body started to tingle to the point where I could feel something strange.
Even though I masturbated, I was still not satisfied, and eventually I wanted to look up the contact information that David had given me, so I held back and continued masturbating. Even though my fingers were pulling, I didn't want to stop, so I transformed into a man and continued masturbating, and after ejaculating two or three times, I suddenly felt better.
After that, after becoming a woman and masturbating, I would turn back into a man and try to squeeze out semen once, if possible.
It wasn't so much that it was unbearable, but it was so hard to hold back, like I was in heat, that I thought it would be a little dangerous.
Third, the strange hangover-like feeling went away when I changed from a woman to a man, but it didn't go away right away.
I expected that the same would happen to a woman's body, since the stiff shoulders of a man's body don't go away when he turns into a woman and then back to a man, but I found out that it takes a similar healing period as when he was a man for the condition to fully recover.
I accidentally hurt my fingertip a little while I was a woman, so I tried it for a few days without changing into a woman, and I could see that the wound was healing even when I wasn't a woman. It seems to be effective not only for things like hangovers, but also for physical wounds.
So, if a man gets seriously hurt in a fight, does it mean that he will recover on his own if he stays as a woman for a while? For example, if he gets into a car accident, he changes his gender and lives there right away.
I also wonder what would happen if I got pregnant as a woman.
First of all, I think I need to know whether or not my body as a woman is capable of becoming pregnant.
I don't know how to find out, but….
I was able to somehow sort out in my mind the incident where I had sex with David.
I've thought about it many times, but honestly, it's true that I felt good. It's also true that David was a really good guy. Even when I think about it as a man, I think he was a good guy, so it's not really his fault.
If there was a problem, it seemed to be with me, but when I thought about it calmly, I thought that it would be understandable if that was the situation.
Putting aside my doubts about myself, starting with my sexual identity, I thought it was much better than being treated by Kwon Seong-min.
And then, after becoming a woman and then returning to being a man, I realized that when I thought of David, I didn't feel anything special, and that helped me sort things out a little.
When I was a woman, I would feel embarrassed when I thought about that time, and my head would feel a little dizzy and my face would get hot, but when I turned into a man, at most I would regret why I did that, and I would not feel embarrassed at all.
Even after experimenting with each one, I found that my body seemed to react slightly when I smelled the semen I had ejaculated when I was a man. I found out about this while cleaning up the trash can where I had thrown away the semen that had been stuck on the tissue after masturbating.
After testing it out, I found that smelling the sweat coming out of my back while masturbating was just as erotic.
In reality, I don't think it's structured like that, but I think it's okay to think of the feelings and emotions that I have as a woman and as a man as completely separate people who just share each other's memories.
Well, if you think about it as a man, women's instinct is to want the seeds of a strong man, and men want to spread their seeds to more women. When I think about each of the actions that David showed, I think that maybe I, as a woman, just acted out of instinct.
… more than anything else! I was on drugs!
To be honest, it wasn't all that cleanly organized.
There are still many questions that remain. If that is true, am I a man or a woman now?
I only thought that I could turn into a woman, I never thought that I would have an additional gender.
Is this okay? If I continue to change into a woman like this, will it cause me problems or something?
But it seemed too late to stop it now.
Regardless of my insecurities about my sexual identity or anything, I can definitely see the benefits of transitioning into a woman.
And one thing, if there was one special thing, it was that Kwon Seong-min was expelled.
For a few weeks after the incident with David, I didn't see him around school and there was no big news, so I thought nothing had happened, but just a little while ago, a notice of expulsion was posted on the school bulletin board.
Only then did I ask people and hear rumors, and it seems that a student from another school named Ji-hyeok had reported the CCTV footage from various locations to the local police and the university and filed a complaint. It seems that the news reached the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and if they were not punished locally, they were sent to Korea to punish them.
When I asked Seonghyeon about this while eating lunch with him, he showed me some information that was circulating among international students, and I took a look. It seemed like it was also a problem among Koreans living in the area.
CCTV footage was also uploaded, showing someone being surrounded by several people, pushed, and hit in the head once or twice.
Kwon Seong-min's face was clearly visible in the video, so it seemed like his identity had been revealed.
Jihyuk really made up his mind, because there was even a video on the internet. The article included a video of Kwon Seongmin using drugs, and it looked like it was taken that day. The faces of the girls who were drunk and turned into sex dolls were mosaiced, and Kwon Seongmin was seen shaking his hips with his face completely exposed. The other two had mosaics on their faces. It really seemed like they were only targeting Kwon Seongmin.
After I left, it seemed like the girls had really been raped. The incident had gotten bigger, so news about it was showing up on Korean sites, and there was even a video full of mosaics called "Study abroad and drug party.avi" circulating on adult sites.
Seongmin Kwon, whose grades were already a mess, was immediately expelled.
It wasn't just a ruined life. There was even a caption in the video that said, 'This is the drug that Kwon Seong-min did.'
I could even hear Kwon Seong-min talking loudly, and the content of what he was saying was quite something.
"Ah~ F*ck! That (sigh) kid is really annoying! He drinks and passes out, and his girlfriend runs away! I marinated her in drugs so I could fuck her, but damn, he's so quick-witted that he makes her run away secretly. And he calls me his boyfriend!"
If you look at the comments on adult sites where you can download videos, there are comments saying that it's so trashy that you can't even hit your daughter.
I didn't know it would turn out like this.
Kwon Seong-min wasn't just expelled from school; his life was literally ruined.
I was just thinking, "Oh, I see," and it only really hit me when I got home.
Could it be that in the end, this incident was caused by my intervention?
In a way, yes. If I hadn't gotten involved, Jihyuk would have just eaten up those kids and not done this. The incident got quite big, and not only Jihyuk but also two others got involved in the group drug and rape problem, so I didn't see them at all at school.
It's nice looking, but also a little scary.
Certainly, being able to turn into a woman would be a great help to my life. It might be dangerous, but looking at the results now, it is true that I ended up sending Kwon Seong-min away because of my interference.
I can't help but say that I was lucky this time.
I'm not sure if the results will be this good next time, and above all, as a woman without an ID card, it will be difficult for me to receive legal protection.
Before we could figure out how to solve that problem, it seemed like it would be better to not create something as dangerous as this in the first place.
… It was all because of that guy's stupid actions that things got this bad. I never thought he'd do drugs…
In the end, because of this one thing, I had sex for the first time as a woman, almost got raped, and was in a situation so dangerous that I still find it suffocating to think about it… I even experienced my first drug experience.
I think I know how dangerous it is to be pretty. I'm not the only one who's been hurt... but there are definitely a lot of crazy people in the world.
I feel the need to be more careful going forward.
"Ahh… Seongeun, I feel so good today… Let's go eat together."
"What the fuck, why are you being so gross!"
I was very excited after hearing that Kwon Seong-min was expelled from school.
Over the past month, I've been able to somewhat sort out my thoughts and forget the shock of what happened with David.
Since it happened when I was a woman, when I thought about it as a man, I felt a sense of distance, but strangely enough, I was able to forget it quickly.
After Kwon Seong-min was expelled, when it was expected that the issue of expulsion was being discussed, Seong-hyeon was called to a meeting as a class representative and asked to talk about what Kwon Seong-min was like at school, so he said he cursed at me all kinds of things. After that, whenever I saw Seong-hyeon, I would joke around like this.
It seems that the statement was even recorded in a document and used as evidence.
"You've done a great job. I don't regret all the meals I've bought you so far!"
"Does that bastard Kwon Seong-min feel that good about being expelled?"
"Ah… I'm so happy I could die… If it were up to me now, I could forgive my wife even if she cheated on me…."
"Kick ... Dicky ...."
I'm halfway serious.
It felt so good to think that I wouldn't have to see those guys again.
I was really happy that the guys in the same grade as me who used to chase after Kwon Sung-min and make all kinds of noises became outcasts at school after that incident. The kids who weren't there at the time also got in a really bad mood just because they were close with Kwon Sung-min.
He keeps cursing, saying that he didn't know Kwon Seong-min would be like that, that if he knew he was that kind of guy, he wouldn't have hung out with him, but... when you listen to the conversations behind him, it seems like they're all lumping them together and cursing them.
I feel a little sorry, but I also feel refreshed.
"Ah… Because of that bastard Kwon Seong-min, whenever I go to a department meeting, he keeps coming up and it hurts my reputation and makes me feel bad…"
"Oh, I'm sorry, boss. I guess I got too excited and didn't understand what you were thinking."
"Shut up."
Seonghyeon is also smiling as he says that.
Well, I got treated all sorts of ways just because I was overweight and a grade lower than him… I said I would go on a company outing or something, but I didn't pay, and then I said I didn't have any money and that I would pay later, and Sunghyun asked me to pay him.
School life has never been this good.
"Kikki, I'm sure my brother will be really happy if he hears about the swimming in the military."
"How is Hye-rim doing these days?"
"Oh, that girl was just crying and saying things like, 'This is too much' and then she told the girls not to bring up Kwon Seong-min in front of her and treated her like a pitiful child. Leave her alone."
Is that how it will turn out?
I got a feel for Hye-rim after talking to her for a while, and she's quite the fox-like girl.
If a man is helpful to you, you just pull him in, and if he doesn't feel like it, you let him go.
Should I say that she's good at flirting? Hye-rim, who was dating Kwon Sung-min, was actually quite cute and pretty, but Seong-hyeon and I lent her money to another older brother, namely Min-woo, and he had a bit of a personality... I wonder if he thinks that all women come to him or if he's just delusional, but he always kept saying things like he slept with married women, that his ex-fiancee married another man and slept with her, and then he approached Hye-rim, who had a boyfriend, and he threatened Kwon Sung-min by finding all sorts of weaknesses. In the end, he was used by Hye-rim, and he ended up getting ripped off for hundreds of thousands of won, and now he's given up.
Idiot.
Even though I told him to stop several times, he kept saying, "I've come to this, I've come to this." But after losing a lot of money, when Hye-rim didn't give him a single kiss, he gave up at some point.
By the way, this guy has a lot of money in his family. It's really a mystery that he borrows money from Seonghyeon and me and doesn't pay it back.
Oh, the swimming guy that Seonghyeon just mentioned also lent me money.
In the end, he couldn't receive it and went to the military. Poor Sooyoung.
"Oh, but why does Minwoo hyung want to eat with me again…?"
"It's your birthday."
"If it's your birthday, why don't you just pay me back and eat? Aren't you going to ask me to go Dutch again?"
"Hey, no way… There's a guy at E University who follows Minwoo around these days. He must have borrowed money from him."
"In the end, you're not the one who's giving me the money. This is just ridiculous."
I'm curious too.
Why do people keep saying they have so much money, but then keep borrowing money and not paying it back?
I asked him once and he said that he wanted to avoid using his family's money so that he could become independent in the future. Does that mean it's okay to use other people's money?
I want to tear off its head, examine its structure, crush it with my fist, and then kill it.
Please pay me back some money.
"And fuck, it's not even my birthday, you're just saying that we should go out for a meal when you have time, using it as an excuse, at this meat restaurant that tastes nothing like me."
"Ah… that's true, it doesn't really taste good. It's okay to eat with just a hint of salt."
"It's not even a quarter of the quality of the meat restaurant we went to before."
"It was really delicious there, oh my mouth is watering…."
Seonghyeon and I were talking and a certain restaurant came to mind.
Minwoo hyung always keeps saying things like, "Where the hell did his money go?", "I've been to room salons," "I've been picking up girls," and "I've been to massage parlors." But when he says he'll buy him a meal, he always goes to a cheaper place.
If you go Dutch, you go to an expensive place… .
This is ridiculous.
Anyway, when we go to such places, we eat and say that the food is delicious, but Seonghyeon and I are very picky eaters, so whenever we have time or on holidays, we go around here and there to find delicious restaurants.
Among them, the place with the most delicious meat was Han Butchery.
It was really delicious. That day, I bought Seonghyeon a meal because he didn't have any money for a while, and he said he would treat me and took me to eat. It was so delicious that I was really touched.
The meat was so sweet.
"Hey, since we're on the subject, do you want to go there for your birthday?"
"I don't have money."
"I'm going to ask you for money on my birthday, and I'm going to cut ties with you. If you don't give it to me, I'll really cut ties with you."
"Hey, be careful. I don't know. I always went together in my first grade and asked for money like you, and I fought for a lot of money.
"Oh my god… Do you really think other people's money is shit? That's a lot of money to me."
"But you are a rich boy. Shouldn't we, the uncivilized ones, put up with it?"
"Fuck…."
Seonghyeon suddenly sighed as if he felt dirty.
… Now that I think about it, it's almost his birthday.
I don't have any money, what should I do?
Actually, I had some extra money, but my black long-sleeved shirt had stretched out, so I just bought a new one.
When I'm a woman, I have so much fun wearing clothes, maybe because I have a nice body. It's like playing dress-up.
If you're not careful, you might get addicted.
"Mr. Seong…."
"Ah, don't call me that, Taeyoung."
"Kuaaaah, don't bring up my dark history!"
Seonghyeon, who won the top prize at the MT cross-dressing competition, mentioned the name I used when I was cross-dressed.
This devilish guy.
"Having tasted the final ending made up of the fate of the dark of darkness, are you now in your right mind?"
"You really like that."
I think he keeps saying that after he played the chuunibyou game with me once before.
Do you like it?
"Anyway, Seong-eun… I'll give you this birthday present… Is that okay?"
"Get the fuck out."
Eight, if I said something like that when I was a woman, I would be so happy that I would even stutter out of embarrassment!
When I told him indirectly that I didn't have a birthday present, Seonghyeon swore at me and punched me in the arm.
"I know you don't have money. I'm not so ungrateful as to forget the favor you gave me for a few days last month when I had no money."
"Wow… Seongeun! I'm so touched!"
"Oh my god, you're so annoying, you bought me a laptop for my birthday."
"I'm sorry, brother."
Even when I think about it, it's a little gross.
"This hyung is different from that ungrateful bastard Minwoo."
"Oh, Sun God… I am so touched."
When there are just the two of us, I call Minwoo hyung "Minwoo bastard."
If you had just paid me back, I wouldn't have said such things.
Seonghyun and I suffered so much that we just kept quiet at first, but recently we've been cursing at Minwoo hyung every day.
"Hey then I have a meeting so I'll go first."
"What meeting is this again?"
"Rather than calling it a meeting, the kids wanted to talk because of Kwon Seong-min."
"Oh, thank you for your hard work."
"okay."
Seonghyeon checked the time on his cell phone and then got up from his seat first.
… I completely failed to register for classes this semester, so I only had morning classes, so I was free.
What should I do? Why am I spending this pleasant season, when Kwon Seong-min was expelled, so idle and listless?
Rather than that, what should I give Seonghyeon as a gift? I said it was okay, but I still want to give Seonghyeon a gift.
I don't have any money, ummm...
… When I become a woman, should I go on a date with you?
Even though he looks like that, he stutters strangely when talking to women, so he might surprisingly be a good gift.
'Hey, this sounds like a good idea.'
I think this happens occasionally in comics like TS.
What should I do… Should I really do it?
In my head, many ideas of how Seonghyeon and I, a woman, could meet came to mind.
He has a habit of stuttering when he's nervous, whether it's making a presentation or during a meeting, so this might be a really good gift. If he just had a little more confidence, he'd be really popular, so if he did well, he might even get a girlfriend this time.
I have already learned that I can change my life by becoming a different person, and that I can benefit from my actions.
In that sense, I already feel the need to continue to change into a woman. I feel like I need to learn more about the situation I'm in.
Even aside from the fact that this gender-changing phenomenon is being exploited, this is a pretty interesting case, because something that is impossible with modern science is happening to me.
I usually enjoy reading fantasy novels and comics, but I've always heard people say that they lack realism. To be honest, I've been dreaming of a fantasy life.
To put it concisely and precisely, I should say that I want to be special.
Because I didn't feel worthy of myself, I wanted to somehow make myself special.
But I thought that it was just a dream, and that in the end, if I didn't live an ordinary life and didn't adopt a lifestyle similar to that of others, I would be eliminated, so even though I was aware that I wanted to be special, I didn't even think about becoming special... But then this 'special' thing happened.
Honestly, it's fun.
I feel like my life is full of energy.
But that doesn't mean I have no worries at all. First of all, if I don't properly investigate what happened to me… .
But during this past month, I've been thinking about a lot of things, including Kwon Seong-min getting expelled and having sex with David, so I'm a little tired, or rather exhausted.
But at the same time, I want to feel new stimulation… .
"Hmm…."
I sat down and started to think.
Should I take a breather and let Seonghyeon do something good?