I will die. I am sure of it. And although I have already tricked death once, this time there is no salvation for me.
I am tied up. There's a gag in my mouth that prevents me from screaming, so I just stare with terrified eyes at the boy whose face expresses more than a thousand words. I look at him and see clearly that he has the eyesight of a murderer. His gaze perfidiously betrays him, and I'm sure I'm dealing with a psychopath.
And it's not the first time, even though I don't remember those events. I was only five years old and because of the trauma I experienced then, I have erased it from my memory.
Did the heavens pick on me? Why did it happen to me a second time? Was death already written for me fifteen years ago? Somehow I escaped her hands, and recently, I did it a second time, thanks to the help of my Guardian Angel, so now the end has come to me? They say that a man has three chances, but do the heavens by any chance have enough of me?
I sit tied to a chair and with weeping eyes I look at the dangerous visitor, who with feigned concern strokes my hair, silencing me and assuring me that he will not harm me. He reiterates that he only wants to take care of me, as he did with the tamagotchi in the 1990s. He wants his living doll, which he will feed and control its life.
Despite my immense horror, there is a moment when I feel like grabbing my head and shouting to the heavens, where in the world did, so many come from.
I'm breathing hard when the boy lifts me out of the chair and walks outside with me. He mercilessly throws me into the trunk of the car, and before he closes the hood, I see a mad smile on his face. He is pleased because he has finally managed to catch me. After long weeks of obsessively stalking me, he has finally dropped the snare.
With a gag in my mouth, I can't summon my Guardian Angel out loud. So what should I do in this situation? How can I help myself?
I open my eyes wider when I hear a disturbing noise outside. Something is going on, and I don't have the faintest idea what the situation is like out there, but my breathing calms down when the hood is opened. I see golden hair above me shining in the light of the parking lamp.
Looking at Thomas' face, my heart beats restlessly fast as a memory manifests in my head, and I get the impression that it's familiarity.
I open my eyes and realize that it is early morning and I find myself in bed.
It was just a dream, I think, as I rise to a sitting position. I brush my hair off my forehead and pull it back, anxiously looking around the room.
But why do I get the impression that this was no ordinary nightmare?
*
Andy has been excessively grouchy since this morning, so I can't convince him to drive me to the university. It's fortunate that I have a person with me who is willing to do it with great willingness, despite his hellish background. Lisa is raring to drive herself, claiming that she wants to see the place where I study.
I'm sure she will catch the eye of any student, considering how she is dressed. Her long, slim legs are framed by maroon leather pants. A black blouse and jacket of the same color goes perfectly with the whole set, and she looks like a million dollars in it.
I'm jealous again.
- A dead friend? - I look over my shoulder when Lisa turns to my boyfriend. I see Victor stop mid-step and look at her with sad eyes. - You're bored, aren't you? I see that you've already explored every corner of our house, so if you like, I'll take you for a ride. The back seat is at your disposal.
I blink my eyelids and glance at Andy to make sure he agrees. He seems uninterested in the demonic roommate's proposal.
- Get him out of here because he's just spinning in front of my feet.
Lisa grabs his hand and pulls him toward the door. He doesn't resist in any way, so I just follow them out.
*
I fasten my belt and look over my shoulder, watching my dead boyfriend with interest. I can see by his eyes that he is concerned.
- Are you all right? If you like... you can go home. I see that you feel safe there.
- Give him a break! - I am interrupted by Lisa, withdrawing the car from the garden. - A soul will always feel safe only in one place. I took him with me so that he could have a little fun before he goes to the hereafter. These are the last moments he can look at the world.
- But it is so hard for me to watch his suffering.... My heart breaks when I see his sad look.
- Then sit back and hug him. Maybe he will stop acting like a lost sheep in the human world. What will it be when the dark reaper takes him to the hereafter? He won't be able to cope.
- But I don't understand something... - I say quietly, looking at the street in front of me. - When he was alive, he was very brave and did many dangerous things. Why does his soul behave so strangely after death?
Lisa smiles mockingly.
- It's simple. Your cutie apparently intends to atone for all his sins so that they will take him to heaven. I already know these canny souls," she replies, slapping her fingers on the steering wheel. I look at her precious rings, which in our world are probably worth millions. - Let her not worry. She can still be herself because only cruel people are taken to hell.
- You most likely don't remember what you and your brother did that made you become demons?
I watch Lisa and see that a shadow of a grimace runs across her face.
- After death, all our memories are erased. As if someone did it with an eraser. All I know is that one goes to hell for murders or intentional wrongs that affect other people. There is something else, though. My guess is that Thomas and I must have messed up pretty badly in our lifetime. I don't know if I want to find out someday, but it's enough for me that I'm already enduring the punishment. The black wings on our backs are extremely heavy, do you know why? Because in them, we carry the weight of our sin. They are a disgrace. We demons envy the beautiful white wings of the angels, even though we stifle it in ourselves.
- So one mistake we make in life can impact the eternity that awaits everyone after death?
- Well.
I can swear that I see compassion in her gaze.
- You have to be careful and always think twice about every decision you make.
I look over my shoulder and look sadly at Victor, who is simply staring out the window, looking as if he is writing down in his head every image he sees.
*
I don't know why, but people look at me like I'm an idiot when I'm standing in front of the university in the company of Lisa and Victor. Shouldn't they be delighted by my beautiful, demonic roommate?
- Why are there wings growing out of your back? - I wrinkle my forehead, wondering why a passing girl is looking at me as if I've fallen off another planet.
- When I have wings, then to people I am invisible. I would rather not make unnecessary noise because they would probably flock like dogs for sausage when they see my beauty up close," she replies, tossing her blond hair off her shoulder.
- Most likely on the bone. - Victor speaks up for the first time, out of the corner of his eye, glancing at Lisa's very slim legs.
- You have spoken! - Her exclamation of excitement is so strong that in a moment of her inattention, she hits a passing boy with an invisible wing. He falls to the ground, with terror in his eyes, looking around him. I am the only person near him, so the finger is pointed at me.
- How did you do that? - he asks in a trembling voice.
- What did I do? - I raise an eyebrow, putting my hand to my chest. - I'm just standing here.
He gets off the ground and runs directly to the entrance.
- You could have killed him with that wing. Now, a rumor will arise at the very entrance that I am a witch.
- Come on... if I had to worry about such things when every other angel mocks the fact that I am a demon, I would have started hating them long ago. Nevertheless, these are friendly taunts.
I need its cheerfulness.
- So, when I walk down the corridor and people start calling me a witch, I'm supposed to understand that in this way they want to befriend me?
Lisa puts her finger to her lips and glances at Victor, who looks confused by our conversation.
- They're more likely to call you "insane" because they think you're talking to yourself.
I look around and see that people are looking at me like I'm an idiot. More than one giggles under his breath.
Funny. Very funny. If only they knew that since I was given a second life I have been seeing ghosts and even the creepy Costa.... they would look at me differently. Besides, they all live among angels and demons, and they don't even know it.
- I think you should go before you destroy your life at the university.
- You're the one who destroyed me on the first day," I reply tearfully, nervously looking around at the people.
And how am I supposed to be cool now? Before the accident I was popular at the university, I had the most handsome boyfriend, and now? I feel like I'm going to become an outcast, and it's all because of a demonic roommate.
I think they already considered me a freak.
- I won't go in there. I feel stupid.
- So should we go with you? - I see determination in her gaze. She really wants to accompany me during the first day.
- I think it will be better entertainment than going around the house and looking at the walls," Victor interjects.
- After all, no one is telling you to go from corner to corner and keep quiet! - Lisa jumps on him. - As long as you are with us, then as a soul enjoy life as much as you can.
I watch them and sigh loudly, lowering my shoulders. Is their company during the first day surely a good idea? If they whine so much over my ear, I'll go crazy sooner.
- You have one chance. You come with me, if you chatter over my ear like old magpies, I'm out of the class.
*
I get the impression that a rumor has managed to spread in the university that I'm insane because no one wants to sit next to me. On the one hand, this is a good thing because Victor can quietly take a seat next to me.
Lisa can't sit politely, so I watch her running around the lecture hall, trying to make something up. She snoops around the lecturer's desk, not caring that a man has just walked in. I see him rub his face when, before his eyes, the cabinet magically slams shut.
He casually takes it as a picture of not sleeping or simply drinking too much coffee.
- I think I'm starting to regret taking her with me," I say to Victor as he taps his fingers on the countertop. Only me and Lisa can hear the sound.
- You know me well, don't you? - I look at him and swallow my saliva harder when I notice his sad face. He is depressed again.
- Yes.
- Do you know why I died? - I am surprised that this is the first question he asks me. Does he really want to know? Is he that curious about the cause of his death?
I can't answer him. My mouth is getting dry, and I can feel my chest starting to ache. Am I to blame for this accident? Apparently, because no word can pass through my throat.
- Do you really want to know that? Don't put me in a difficult situation.
- Do you know why I'm asking this? Because I have a feeling that I stayed in that house for a reason. Someone kept me there. It's impossible for my soul to have to wander around the world for so long.
I'm playing with the pen I circle between my fingers when the lecturer is explaining something. I don't listen to it at all. I'm more interested in Lisa's dance in the middle of the room and Victor's words to get the truth out of me.
- This is not the right time for me to tell you about it. Wait until the evening.
He remains silent. He only nods, agreeing with my decision.
I don't know what Lisa is putting down, but she finally manages to make me laugh when she does a hop like a professional ballerina, and this causes all the pages to fall off the desk under the wind. The man corrects the glasses on his nose, anxiously looking around at the students, as if looking to us for answers: what's going on here?
- It's probably a draft," one of the guys speaks up, pointing to the open window. - Should I close it?
The man nods. I chastise Lisa with my eyes, with a movement of my hand, ordering her to return to her seat. She puffs out her lips and shakes her head. She does not intend to listen to me at all. Furthermore, she acts like a carefree little child who is mischievous and loves to tease others.
I rest my chin on my hand and, with resignation in my eyes, look at my infernal roommate, who came here only to tease.
I furrow my eyebrows as her eyes begin to sparkle. She points her finger at all the boys I have in the group. I can see that among them, she is looking for the most handsome one. And it doesn't take her long because her prey becomes Ronald, who was second in popularity before Victor's death. Now he has apparently taken advantage of this and climbed to the top.
I turn my face and see that she, like a lurking panther, is heading in his direction. She stands behind him and, with a happy smile on her face, puts her hands on his shoulders. The boy flinches, probably because he felt something.
I rub my forehead and glance at my dead boyfriend, who is looking at Ronald with anger in his eyes.
- What is it?
- I don't know. I just don't like the man. Looking at him, I feel anger, even though I don't know him at all.
I smile at these words. Victor feels this way for a reason. Ronald has been his biggest enemy from the very beginning.
*
Walking down the corridor, I stop mid-step when my attention is caught by a large photo framed in gold with a black bow on it. I see students gathered there, crying girls who can't get over the death of the most popular boy at the university.
With sadness in my eyes, I look at Victor when he finally notices his photo.
- So I was a student? Probably quite well-liked, since people can't come to terms with my death," he announces, forcing a smile. - Did we meet at the university? - He turns to me, and I nod in response. - Student life is most likely the best time. Too bad I didn't make it to the end.
I have to turn my back to him, as I blink my eyelids and try to chase away the tears.
It's true. Victor lost his life too soon. He was too young to die. He was just entering adulthood, and it was all taken away from him in one night when we decided to go wild on a motorcycle.
Why do I feel so guilty about his death?
*
The next day, my heart stands still when a disturbing noise comes from the kitchen, and a moment later, Andy teleports to the couch. I look at his face and see how scared his eyes are. Occasionally, he looks over his shoulder, as if he's afraid of being attacked.
I blink my eyelids when Lisa, with her hair tumbled in all directions, appears in the living room, holding pans in her hand. She presses her lips together, and her expression doesn't bode well.
Andy points a finger at her and unexpectedly starts laughing.
- Grow her a bun and dye her red, and she'll be identical to Little Mi," he announces jokingly, but the smile immediately leaves his face, and he puts his hands out in front of him defensively as the blonde lifts the pans above his head. - Little Mi is too delicate a figure for this monster. What was the name of that scary thing with the purple color?
- Buka," I answer, and Andy nods in agreement.
- That's right, it was Buka. Buka? Wait... not Buka? - He blinks his eyelids, thinking about it intensely for a moment. - It looked like a bun. It was round and grinned its teeth. Exactly as cute as our Lisa.
I put my hands to my mouth. With clear shock in my eyes, I watch as the girl unexpectedly aims the frying pan straight at the top of its head, and does it with such force that I swear I see stars above it.
The angel feels frazzled for a moment and shakes his head like a dog, and his eyes seem misty.
What a devilish girl.
- Why did you do that? - I ask while he stares at one point, with tears in his eyes, putting his hand to the place where his bump is growing.
- Why did I do it? - he repeats with great indignation, throwing the pan on the floor. - He already knows very well why I did it. He crossed the line in the kitchen. Occasionally, he should get his innocent tongue under control. There is a reason why people made a movie about pigs having white wings.
I look at my Guardian Angel with compassion when his face turns purple. At first, I think it's because of pain, but I'm surprised when it turns out to be a sign of rising anger.
Andy springs to his feet and when he measures the blonde with an aggressive gaze, I have no doubt that war is about to break out.
- Blond witch reborn from satanic seed! - he yells at her with such anger in his voice that I get the impression that the whole house is shaking under the impact of his screams. - What does this father of yours teach you, huh! Bring Lucifer here and now, and I'll give him such a sermon on your upbringing that he'll lose those blond curls of his and go bald like an old grandfather during menopause.
Only now do I realize that Thomas is sitting next to me, eating popcorn with a smile on his face.
- There is no better entertainment than this. Wait and watch what drama will erupt from this," he turns to me in an amused voice.
- Are you always watching them and not trying to smooth things over? Currently, they both look terrible.
- You are misinterpreting this. It's chemistry. It's so strong that it sparks between them. It's a flame of love, not anger. You have to learn to distinguish it. As a demon, I have quite a bit of experience in this.
- Yes? So, what does my gaze mean when I look at you? - I stare at him with squinted eyes, letting him know that he is an asshole, but he perceives it quite differently.
- That to you, I look like a sex god, and you would like to taste me," he states openly, popping popcorn into his mouth. With a smile on his face, he munches it, occasionally glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.
Oh hell, he has deciphered me after all.
- That evening when you helped me.... - I change the subject, but all the while he watches his friend and sister struggle. - The woman who was wounded with a knife.... did you help her in any way?
He shakes his head in response.
- It's none of my business. Everyone has their destiny. Maybe if she had called on her Guardian Angel, he would have taken pity on her and helped her. Since she didn't, she died. - She shrugs her shoulders.
I put my hand to my chest as Lisa throws herself onto Andy's back and pulls him by his hair with such force that she ends up pulling out a pink strand. He looks in the mirror with horror in his eyes and opens his eyes wider when he notices the bald spot right next to the bump she got him.
- You disfigured me," he says with concern in his voice, looking as if he is about to cry.
Lisa merely smiles and shrugs her shoulders, looking appreciatively at the hair she holds in her hand.
- At least for the moment, you will not be considered the most beautiful.
He grins at her, and I choose the demon popcorn from the bowl.
- You were right. It's really fun to watch them when I know they can't do much harm.
He puts his hand behind me on the backrest and I feel him casually brush his fingers over my shoulder. I swallow my saliva harder as some pleasant sensation runs inside my body and stops near my left breast.
Oh god, why is this demon so appealing, despite his unbearable character?