I rest my chin on my hand and look at the boy accompanying me, who continues to rebel and insists that he will not give the hoodlums a penny. He stubbornly repeats that he is not the one who went into debt to them and that they should pursue his missing brother and give him a holy peace of mind. I no longer know how to properly reach him. There is only one day left to pay off the debt. If he doesn't, this time they will surely kill him. And so they have quite the patience to put up with his games.
- You are as dumb as a shoe. What kind of idiot do you have to be to lose your life because of your stubbornness? It's only money! - I shout at him as we sit together at a table in front of the café, eating ice cream.
Jackson looks at me with appreciation.
- Miss Johnson, you've been getting a little rough with me lately. I like temperamental women. - He laughs, while I'm going out of my mind, I'm so worried about him.
- And you can still make jokes? They will kill you tomorrow. They will quarter you, cut you up, or even blow you up! - The boy is amused at my outrage. - And why do you need this money if you're going to be dead?
- This is my parents' hard-earned money. This savings book is for me, not for some red-headed monkey to buy another car. If I die, at least he'll never get his dirty hands on it. - He shrugs his shoulders.
I don't have the strength. How can I reason with him that he is still a young man and has his whole life ahead of him? It's only money. He will give it back and be able to start over. He will find a job, start earning money and eventually start a family too.
At this point, I swallow my saliva harder because I don't want him to find a girlfriend. Am I jealous? I don't know, but I feel a strange prickling in the area of my left breast when I think about it. Whatever. Now I have to make him realize that it's not worth getting buried in the ground and being eaten by bugs to save the passbook from the dyed redhead who is rubbing his hands on it.
- I'm sure your parents would give up the passbook just to save your life.
- I know, but I don't like to give in.
- Jackson! - I shout at him for the second time today. What can make him finally see through it and give up that money for the sake of sanity? I really have no idea how to help him anymore.
- The cream runs down your finger," he says pointing to my hand. - You're going to get sticky.
I sigh with helplessness. I throw the ice cream on the table, and he glares at me as I sink my back against the back of the chair and cross my arms over my chest.
- Your worst flaw is that you waste food so easily. - He smirks at me, clearly indignant. - I could have eaten it.
Is he serious? Does he have a food freak?
- If you die, you can't eat.
Maybe this will work on him?
- That's why I'll rent myself before I die for all time.
I thought my mother was the stupidest human being to walk this earth, until I met him....
- Well. Nothing like dying with a full stomach. A dream come true," I say sarcastically, bringing a happy smile to his face.
*
I blush as I stand in front of the house fence and Jackson puts his cheek up for me to kiss him.
- Give a "goodbye" kiss.
- I don't want to," I reply, although I feel my knees are like cotton wool when his face is too close to mine. - This is awkward.
The boy makes an offended face as he looks at me.
- What if this is your only chance because you won't see me again? I remind you that I will die tomorrow.
He is the only man who can joke about his impending death. Is he masking his fear in this way? That's precisely the impression I get because I don't want to believe that he is not afraid of tomorrow at all.
- Give them the money, please.
But he ignores my words. From his pocket he pulls out teddy bear-shaped jelly beans and rustles the package right in front of my nose.
- Since you would rather not give me a farewell kiss, I'll give you farewell teddy bears, which I'm sure you won't eat so that you'll have a souvenir of me. - He comes closer and stuffs the package directly into the pocket of my shorts, but this is only a canny approach on his part, as he unexpectedly captures my face and steals my first kiss.
I open my eyes wide, even though it's an innocent kiss that warms my trembling lips anyway.
- Now I can die happily," he utters as he takes three steps back. A radiant smile adorns his face.
He gives a salute, thus greeting me, and then walks away.
I put my hand to my left breast and lean against the wicket, as my knees bend under me. I am shocked. He really did it. He kissed me.
My cheeks burn with living fire as I am embarrassed by his bold move. I look to the side, and then I notice the man watching me. My heart goes up to my throat. I pull my phone out of the pocket of my shorts, losing the packet of gels in the process. With a quick flick of my fingers, I wrote the boy a message.
"Be careful. Don't get caught, please."
When I enter the house, I look over my shoulder, but no one is there anymore. Despite everything, I'm worried. Not about myself, but about him. What if it was really the last time I saw him? I can't imagine never having the chance to see him again.
*
I am anxious as more hours pass, and I have no answer from Jackson. The darkest scenarios are again running through my mind. I feel like putting on my shoes and running outside to look for him.
The last time I found him beaten on the street, I nearly fainted. The sight of his suffering face shook me so much that in the first moment I narrowly missed being the one to lose consciousness.
What is happening to him? What if he was captured by them and is just suffering or dying somewhere in a deserted place?
I jumped up from my chair and ran out of the house without even notifying my grandmother of my intentions. I am so frightened by his lack of response that I no longer think rationally. Although the watch indicates the hour of twenty-one, I decide to play the heroine. Fortunately, in summer, the day are much longer.
When I open the gate, my attention is caught by the packet of jellybeans that Jackson put in my pocket earlier. I'm lucky that for so many hours no child or greedy adult has spotted them, tempted by the free treat.
I put the phone to my ear, hoping that this time Jackson will answer. Furthermore, I look around and just happen to be at our favorite spot when the call is answered, and I hear his voice.
- Hello?
- Am I still blurring my vision, or do I really have dozens of missed calls from you?
His voice is sleepy. I must have woken him up.
- I'm sorry. I think I panicked," I say quietly as I sit down on the swing and put my hand to my forehead. - I was scared that something had happened to you, since you didn't write me back for such a long time.
- I got bored and fell asleep. I bet you've already considered any torture I might be subjected to. - His voice is amused. Nothing new there. He can joke about impending death.
- Put yourself in my place. I know what you're facing, and you could lose your life at any moment, so how can I not worry about you?
- That's sweet.
The word reminds me of jelly beans. I pull the snack out of my pocket and open the package.
- You scared me to the point that I wordlessly ran out of the house to look for you. I'm just sitting alone in the playground, eating the jellybeans you gave me as a goodbye gift.
- Are you alone at this hour? - I can hear the anxiety in his voice.
- Don't tell me you're going to join me because today we already had our goodbye.
I am surprised when he just hangs up like that. I stared at the phone screen for a long moment in disbelief, wondering if I had somehow offended him. Sitting down, I simply busied myself with jellybeans, well, and some time later I spot him. He walks toward me, and I blush again when I remember that a few hours earlier he had boldly kissed me.
My phone rings insistently, so I look at the screen and answer it, realizing that my grandmother is worried about me since I disappeared from the house without a word. I reassure her that everything is fine and tell her I'll be back soon, since I'm with Jackson.
You can see that she adores this boy. He has completely won her heart, and she trusts him one hundred percent since she allows me to spend time with him at such a late hour.
- What would have to happen for you to change your mind and give them the money tomorrow? - I turn to him as he sits down on the swing next to me and looks ahead.
- The person I care about would have to be in danger. Only then would I do it," he replies, and I watch him with wide-open eyes as he shifts his gaze to me. - For the moment, such a person is you.