The night had worn on; the clock ticked past nine as we lay together in the dimly lit room. The shadows of the curtains danced across the walls, cast by the faint moonlight seeping through them.
Ryan's arm was draped around me; his eyes were half-closed, worn out from our passionate and intense making-out session we had earlier. His eyelids fluttered slightly, as if struggling to stay open; his gaze was lazy and content. Under the sheets, our bodies were entwined; my breasts pressed against his side, my nipples grazing his ribcage.
The warmth of his skin seeped into mine; his heartbeat was a gentle thrum against my own. His hand rested on my hip as his fingers traced gentle patterns on my skin. I traced my fingers across his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing, the gentle tremble of his muscles as he relaxed. My fingertips danced across his skin, tracing the contours of his muscles, the curve of his shoulder. We were enjoying our night together. But despite the tranquility of the moment, my mind was far from peaceful, consumed by a nagging suspicion that had been building in me all day.
"So, what's going on between you and the new girl?" I had to ask. I didn't like the fact that he even spoke to her.
"What do you mean?" Ryan asked, delaying a little, raising his head from the pillow and gave me that casual smile of his. And I could tell he was about to lie to my face again. But I didn't want to spoil the moment we were sharing at the time. We had just made out and didn't want to spoil the flow of the night we were spending together. But this bothered me even more than I thought it would, and I just couldn't hold it back.
So I decided to ask him.
"That new girl... the one who just moved in with her dad last week," I explained, even though I knew he understood me from the start.
"Oh, you mean Franca?" he asked, his tone nonchalant. "Yes, exactly... you already know her name," I said, as an eerie silence filled the room, punctuated only by the hum of the standing fan blowing against the sheets we were in. I was actually surprised that he did; I mean it was just a week she packed bin how could he have known anything about her so soon.
"Um... babe," he said, sitting upright. "I think I understand where you're going with this, but trust me, it's nothing like that." He said his voice laced with reassurance. "She's been in the neighborhood for over a week now, and besides, she's from a very rich and popular background. I probably heard her name from one of the ladies gossiping back at the farm or something." He added, slowly resting his back on the pillow; he avoided eye contact with me.
"Back at the farm?" I asked. "But we haven't had any customers for about a week now, and I can't remember the last time a lady or a woman patronized us. Just the men from the town next to us."
I already noticed his change in mood, the way he shut his eyes and rubbed his forehead as he took a deep breath. He already looked irritated with my questions.
"Sweetheart, are you lying to me?" I asked again with my sweetest voice. This time, I raised my head from his chest, adjusted his hair from his forehead, and looked into those blue eyes of his. He tried to speak for a moment, but the words hung in his throat; then he let out a deep breath, got up, and went out of the sheets to sit by the side of the bed.
This was one of the reasons I loved him… he found it hard to lie to me… even though it was annoying to him, according to his expressions sometimes. All I always did was just keep asking till he spilled the truth. So he helplessly hardly lied to me, and I did my part never to lie to him too…. But tonight seemed different.
"Baby, my love," I called out in a tired voice, cutting through the silence as I crawled to him from the sheets, then hugged him from behind. I could feel him melt down as my breasts pressed against his back. He hardly was able to resist me; I kissed his head, then rested my chin on his shoulder.
"I thought we said no more secrets," I said with a worried tone. As he turned back to me immediately, then lifted me off the bed and onto his lap, our eyes immediately locked onto each other's, then he confessed.
"I'm sorry, I did lie…"
It's fine, it's okay, I'm not mad; I just want the truth," I said, patting his dark hair from his forehead. "I was on my way from the carpenter's workshop yesterday. When they were just pulling outside their mansion, well, I couldn't help but look at the vehicle; it was really attractive." He said, then gave me a smile, but his eyes were still worried.
"I didn't know… I was staring right at the window where she sat, and she told the driver to stop and called me…" He looked at me again and held my waist.
"She asked my name and where I lived and all that… she said she liked me and complemented my physique and face; she said she… she asked me to come in the car, and-"
"You went in?" I cut in, my voice a little shaky but firm, unable to hide my worried look at the moment.
He let out a deep breath and continued. "Yeah, I didn't know what I was thinking at the moment. I went in," he admitted, his eyes dropping in guilt. "I didn't know what I was thinking at the moment.
I felt a pang in my heart, but I kept my voice firm." "What happened next?" Ryan took a deep breath before continuing.
"She kissed me." These words shook my heart at the moment, I just couldn't help but keep a still gaze at him.
"I know I should have pushed her away, but I didn't. It's not like I enjoyed it and... it felt wrong. It felt like I was betraying you."
I looked at him; I could feel my eyes gradually growing hot by the second, but I maintained composure.
"What did you expect it to feel like?" I asked. An eerie silence followed as I got down from his lap, walked across the room to the wardrobe, and took out one of his shirts and my panties, and put them on. I took a good look back at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Ryan's eyes pleaded for forgiveness. "I was scared of losing you. I know I made a mistake, and I'm so sorry. I love you, and I promise it won't happen again."
I took a deep breath, trying to process everything. I wanted to believe him, but a part of me was still hurt and unsure. "Look at me, Bella," Ryan said, his voice soft as he got up walked up to me and softly took me by the hand.
"I promise to always be honest with you from now on. No more secrets, no more lies. I love you, and I don't want to lose you." I looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and regret there. I knew I had to make a choice - to forgive him and move forward or to let my doubts and fears tear us apart.
I really loved him, and although it hurt to hear that he kissed a girl that wasn't me, it was really painful. But the fact that he was almost in tears as he apologized showed how much he regretted what happened and wanted to make amends. I wasn't mad anymore, but I also didn't want to show it. I slowly took my hand off his, climbed the bed, and lay at my side, covering myself with the sheets, facing the other way. I couldn't help but let the few drops of tears that gathered in my eyes flow that night.