Chapter 12: Not Real
From millions to millions. It seems like her readers are slowly fading after knowing her past, making her feel heavy again in her heart.
They are her companion besides the books that she's writing. They're the one who also encouraged her, they supported her, always cheering her up and there but now.. seeing them one by one slowly leaving her behind made her think that she isn't enough for them to stay.
She heaved a sigh before turning off her laptop and went back to her bed to hide again under the soft white covers. She laid there and her tears started to fall again in an instant.
She can't hide the pain that she is feeling and she badly wants to get rid of it and the only way that she thinks the possible way to escape is to sleep again. To sleep and meet the man who can chase her pained feelings away.
Her eyes is still wet because of the tears but she didn't manage to wipe it off and decided to close her eyes and derived herself to a deep slumber
..
.
"How's your day, your highness?"
Just like as expected, when she met him again, all the burden and sadness that she was feeling was slowly fading and now she's feeling relaxed.
"It's fine.. I guess?" she's truly not sure of that answer. He sighs.
"Please be honest with me." he pleaded and sounded worried so she twisted her hand to form a fist, head hanging low before answering him.
"They're slowly fading. One by one they're leaving. S-So ahm, yeah, I-I'm not really feeling well."
"Sorry." she stiffened.
"W-Why said sorry?"
"So stupid for me to ask if you're okay when it's too obvious that you're not. I'm sorry, your highness."
That made her smile a little. "It's fine. Thank you anyway for worrying about me. It means a lot, Mu Yan."
"Hmm.." he nodded twice. "Of course I am. You are my highness. I'll always care for you." that made her heart want to jump out of its cage again. She can feel her cheeks reddened a bit before she looks away.
"T-Thanks.."
'I wonder.. What does he think about me?' she thought. 'Do you think, Lu, that he has feelings for you too—' she stilled. Too? So then it means—
"Oh." now she knows. She has feelings for him. What will she do now? Does she... have to confess? That thought made her cheeks totally reddened because of embarrassment and she unconsciously bit her lips making her hitch because of the sudden pain.
"Ah!"
"Why? What happened? Are you okay?" He immediately went in front and held her chin.
"I-It's nothing." she said in embarrassment without looking at him directly. She's also shocked about his sudden action that she can't help but to wonder.. and think about the man who's in the other world— He Tian.
Now come to think of it? It's been a day and he didn't go to her house just like the other days for their collaboration. Is he.. 'Is he leaving me too just like what the others did to her?'
That thought made her sad. Even though he was naughty and a jerk sometimes, she can't deny that she's already used to his presence. After all, they shared a lot of memories now in those days. But why is he not here for her, where is he?
"Your highness?" she stilled and blinked.
"Y-Yes?"
"You seemed out of the world again. Are you okay? What are you thinking?" she sighs and tilts her head to look above when her whole body shakes when she meets his eyes.
His onyx— no, he's nut brown— 'Wait? Nut brown?!' She shook her head and blink before looking again at the man's eyes and she sighs aloud when she sees his onyx orbs again.
Did she really see a nut brown or she's just imagining things again?
"Your highness?"
She sighs. "Mu Yan..."
"Hmm.."
She clenches her fist before encouraging herself to say a word.
"Y-You're not leaving like what they did, right?"
"I'm always here." she sighs in relief when heard his answer.
Without a reason, her sight roamed around the place. 'Still the same as always..'
"This place is still the same."
"You want this to be different?"
She shrugged. "It's not what I want. I was just wondering, how do you cope up with this place? I mean you are always here. Isn't it.. alone?" she stiffened a bit by her own words.
Alone..
"It's you who made this so I treasured this place so much, your highness."
She's confused. "I made it?" and even pointed at herself for a second before looking at him ridiculously.
"Mu Yan, I don't have any magics to do--"
"Your highness." his gaze suddenly looked intent and worried flash into his eyes.
"Why?" He stared at her for a few moments before he smiled again, but this time, it wasn't a sweet smile, it's sad.. making her worried.
"Why?" she asks and holds his arm.
"Are you okay?" he is still staring at her.
"Is there a problem? Maybe I can help? Just tell me and maybe I can also seek advice from a friend? Ahm, wait. He Tian was missing in action but I guess I can still ask him for you to—"
"Lu Xia..." her words were left in the air upon hearing him calling her name.
He exhaled a sigh and his right hand touched the side of her face making her body go solid rock.
"Please.." he looks extremely worried.
"Don't be to drown in this fiction.." her heart hammered when he put his forehead on hers making their face close. His eyes are close but what's more is when she saw a tear fall down from his eyes.
"It's time.." he whispered and opened his eyes and met hers.
"Wake up from this beautiful fiction, your highness."
His words didn't sink in on her mind but what he said next made her truly pulled out from her own reverie.
"I'm not real.."
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