Chapter 13: Illusion
She was catching her own breath when she woke up from her sleep. Her hands are in fist and are clenching her soft blanket. She's sweating and her heart is pounding fast.
"I'm not real.."
She grit her teeth. 'No. He is real. Why is he saying those words to me? He is real. He can see me, I can too. I can touch him and he is too. So why the hell—' she stilled when an idea struck her mind but before it could process in her mind, she heard a loud knock outside her small house.
She got up, fixed herself and went to the door only to see Hex standing and smiling at her.
"He Tian?"
He smiled. "Your highness."
"What are you.." she didn't expect him to come into her house. The sun is going down and night will come out eventually.
"I'm sorry that I didn't go here this morning."
"..." she doesn't know what to say.
"I-It's just that.." his cheeks reddened and he began rubbing his nape without looking at her making her look at him in such astonishment.
"What?"
He released a loud sigh before saying again. "I'm too embarrassed to see you after I said those words." He's even stammering. His face is clearly stating that he's shy about what he confessed.
'I like you, your highness.'
'He called me your highness..' she thought about Mu Yan. Does he have feelings for her too?
"Lu Xia?" she pulled out from reverie when he talked again.
"Are you alright?"
She smiles and nods. She opens the door widely and gestures her hand for him to go inside.
"I'm sorry if I left yesterday when you were still asleep. My manager called me and it was an emergency." he told her while they were ascending towards her living room.
"It's fine. I'm okay." 'Mu Yanwas there for me though..' she thought.
"Really?" he looks amused.
"I'm glad, then. So how are you coping up with this mess?" They sat on her dirty white couch.
"The Head Manager told me to stay here and let all the news withered for now. It's still hard for me. I ahm, I was hurt seeing them leave but I guess it's fine? I mean, I can't do anything if that's their final decision though." her answers made him smile again in relief.
"You are brave."
She sighs and leans on the sofa and stares at her ceiling.
"It was so hard.. but I managed to get through because of him." she says and a smile appeared on her lips as she remembered how he consulted her to calm down and think about the brighter side. She's really lucky to be able to meet him.
"Him?"
"Mu Yan..." her smile widens when she says his name. Her heart, it's beating rapidly again and yeah, she's really falling for him—
"Lu Xia.." She blinks and moves her head sideways to look at He Tian. There's a worried expression on his face again and she doesn't know why.
"Why?"
"Are you.. really okay?"
She nodded and her forehead wrinkled in confusion.
"Yes, I am. Why do you always ask that anyway? I'm really okay, He Tian. You don't have to worry too much—"
"Then why?" he cut her off. "Why are you like that?"
"Huh? What are you saying—"
"Lu Xia.."
"He Tian, I don't get you, okay? Everything is fine. I am alright— I am okay." she suddenly remembers something. "Ah. Anyway, I actually met him again and we've talked. Though his place is so dark and only—"
"Lu Xia!" He exclaimed her name and held each side of her shoulders and shook it a little as if he was waking her up from a deep slumber.
"What? You see, He Tian, he helped me to not think about my problem too much so I want to help him to brighten up his place. I want to ask some advice to you since you're both male and you even look the same so I suppose that you two are—"
"Lu Xia, wake up!" his loud voice made her stilled and pulled out from her reverie. She met his nut brown orbs where concern and affection is written on it. He looks so genuinely worried for her.
And then he parted his lips to say something which made her world slowly shattered into pieces.
"He's not real.."
And his last words start ringing repeatedly in her mind.
"I'm not real.."
"I'm not real.."
"I'm not real.."
"N-No.."
It feels like she was forcefully pulled out from drowning into something. It was as if someone made her wake up from her very deep slumber. It's like someone slapped her just once but was using the full force making her really stunned and finally out from her deep reverie.
"He's not real, okay?" he repeated. She shrugged her shoulders and freed herself from his grip before glaring at him.
"He is! I talked to him! I definitely saw him so he is real! Stop saying things, He Tian! You're talking so much nonsense—"
"Lu Xia, wake up!" he stood up and sighs.
"Lu Xia, please. You need to wake up, okay? I'll be here for you just please, stop this already—"
"But I only want him and not you!" after she said those words. Pain flashes on his eyes that he looks away for a second before sighing.
"Lu Xia.."
"He Tian, please. Can you please leave? I want to be alone."
"But—"
"Please.." she pleaded at him. "Leave.."
He looks fidgeting and doesn't want to leave but after a moment of staring at her eyes, he sighs again and leaves her house without saying anything.
As when she heard nothing that came from him, her eyes started to get warm again. And within just a few seconds later, crystal liquids that came from her eyes started flowing down. She can feel her heart being grip and tighten its hold making her feel so heavy. It envelops her heart so tight and its thorns are slowly showing up making her feel the pinches of pain as if there's really thorns piercing on her heart.
She sob hard and sat down on her couch and covered her face using both of her hands and cried harder.
Seeing him in pain earlier because of what she said makes her feel guilty because she knows that he was just genuinely worried for her but after he said those words, that Mu Yan isn't real, it feels like her world suddenly turned upside down.
And now, she can't accept it.
But what will she do?
She sighs. "I want to see him again."
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