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The Saintess's love is so heavy it's scary

๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ตOwOs
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Synopsis
I want to quit being a guardian knight because the love of the saint is too heavy.
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Chapter 1 - The Saintess's love is so heavy it's scary 1

A chapel of a saintess.

A sanctuary among sanctuaries, where only those worthy of the saintly company of the saintess are allowed to enter, a sanctuary that those who live under the saintess's grace cannot help but admire and envy.

Even now, all who are enchanted by the radiance of the saintess are constantly honing their faith in order to achieve the highest honor of being the closest to her.

All this in honor of the compassionate saintess who gave her life without price to accomplish the cause of overthrowing the devil.

The love of the faithful for the saintess is undying, unquenchable, unyielding, and unstoppable.

But.

At this present time, my steps toward that glorious sanctuary were never light.

No, rather, it was heavy. Reluctant. I wanted to get out of here as soon as I could, to wipe my feet and sleep in my cozy room.

I would gladly relinquish this position with a smile on my face if only someone would show up to take my place.

Turbuck. Turbuck.

The dreary, deserted hallways emphasized the sound of my own footsteps, casting a sense of unidentifiable foreboding everywhere, and the symbolic rows of glass panes had an eerie, even unpleasant, sense of otherness.

The source of these thoughts were the familiar spirits that could be clearly seen beyond the dim corridors.

With a sigh, she dismissed her thoughts and quickly changed her sluggish gait to a brisk walk.

''Saintess's breakfast time is almost upon us, Lazis, where is this bastard running around!

''He's lazy by nature, so he's probably trying to catch some sleep somewhere else-----.''

''Why on earth did the saintess keep such a lowly man as her guardian priest-----. I want to know-----.''

A sound more unpleasant to hear than an alarm in the early hours of the morning. It was a voice calling to me that I wanted to turn away from as much as possible.

''Joe, good morning, seniors~!''

I greeted them with the brightest smile I could muster to brighten up the dreary atmosphere, but they didn't seem to care.

The expressions of the men wearing white priests' robes, which differed only in color from the black ones I was wearing, were tinged with hostility and disgust that didn't match their reverent attire.

''I told you to hurry up, you idiot!''

''Haah-----. That asshole-----.''

''Chit!''

''Ha---. Hahaha---. Sin, I'm sorry---.''

I'd like to see the expressions on these humans' faces right now for the guy who said that bullshit about not being able to spit on a smiling face.

''In the first place, you lack the self-awareness to even be in the position of assisting the Saintess, do you have any idea how much of an honor that is for us guardian priests! If you've been entrusted with a task that's not up to par, at least show some responsibility or sincerity, do you understand?''

''Haha---.''

At a time like this, no matter what I say, I'm sure I'll be criticized, so it's best to just laugh it off.

So, let's have a couple of cheerful juniors to receive the heartwarming downpour from the heavenly seniors who are upset about the world.

''Good to see you. The saintess is waiting for you. Please come in.''

''Uh, yes! Yes, sir!''

''Kwah---.''

Thanks to the saintess's timely entrance, the crisis was averted.

This is why I stamped in at the right time every time.

They are a diligent bunch, willing to wake up an hour or two earlier than scheduled and wait day and night for me to pass by, just to get rid of an unwelcome newcomer.

Well, it's not like I don't understand the sentiment.

To those who serve a saintess, the title of her exclusive guardian priest is the highest honor.

For reasons unknown to those who hold such a position, a halfpenny like me, a so-called parachutist, sucking the honey out of the hornet's nest, shouldn't feel too bad.

I have a history of unreasonable envy and jealousy toward the less fortunate, having been forced into active duty for the crime of being born healthy, so I can sympathize with your feelings.

But, Zagoro, there are some things in this world that can only be understood by lifting the lid.

Even a Yu-Gi-Oh card lying face-down on the street can only be identified as a rare card if you pick it up.

If you're a smart kid who realizes the world a little faster, you'll realize that there's no way a valuable item like a rare card would be lying on the ground in the first place.

I digress, but that's the point I'm trying to make.

Don't make assumptions about other people's lives based on your own narrow perspective. It's a bit of a rant.

''Priest. Please hurry up.''

''Uh-oh. Yes.''

The calm voice of the nun calling for me snapped me out of my thoughts.

My eyes flicked to the front, where a gaudy door filled my vision, with large, ornate ornaments clinging to it.

"This is all solid gold-----.

Every time I look at it, I see money bullshit, but not this money bullshit. Do old men in the Vatican have a fetish for throwing money down the drain?

The look on their faces when they realize that their donations are being used for this must be something to behold.

''Here, take this, then.''

''Yes.''

She handed me a small plate, and on it was the saintess's breakfast for the day.

Freshly baked, steaming, delicious bread. A crisp salad with only the freshest vegetables. A stew that balances the sweetness of milk with the subtle flavor of herbs. Judging by the smell, there's meat in it today.

''You shouldn't eat it.''

The stern face of the nun reprimanded me, as I drooled in a fit of penance.

I'm sorry. Even if I hadn't seen meat in months, it's still not fair for me to touch the saintess's meal as a guardian priest. You, too.

You're so perceptive.

''For me, who hasn't even seen a proper meal lately, this seems like too harsh an assignment----. Couldn't Sister bring it for me for today only?''

''No, I can't. You know very well that she won't even open her mouth unless the priest hands it to her.''

''Ah----. Yes----. Write----. Well, yes, but----.''

You don't realize what a tribulation it is for someone who's been eating potatoes for three meals a day for the past month to be asked to put this real sacrament into someone else's mouth.

I'm sure it's the same thing that caused Adam to bite into the apple in the Garden of Eden, after hundreds of years of biting into the same food.

''Then you must go. Priest Lazis. For the umpteenth time, do not eat it.''

''----.''

With that, I pushed the heavy door open, feeling the nun's worried gaze on my back as if I were sending a child away on his first errand.

โ—ˆโ—ˆโ—ˆโ—ˆ

White.

It's a mysterious room that I still can't think of a good adjective to describe it.

Westerners who enjoy entertainment movies will say it's like the pure white room in the movie Batman, and those who watched a lot of manga as a child will say it's like the room of time and spirit in Dragon Ball, a spookily white, vast, alien space.

The reality of the saintess.

I've heard that some aristocrats pay astronomical donations every year to enter the odorless, tasteless space where this guy lives, but I don't know. If I saw this guy in person, I'd probably roll on the floor asking for a refund.

Chizik. Chizik.

The creepy mechanical sound filled the otherwise eerie white space with an ominous aura of foreboding.

Tracey slowly walked toward the epicenter of the sound, and before long, she spotted a figure that everyone loved, but that I shunned more than anyone else.

''Ms. saintess. I have your breakfast delivery~!''

I greeted her with a crystal-clear, confident voice, knocking on the back of her head to keep my impiety from showing.

As usual, no answer came back. To be honest, I didn't expect much. It's safe to say that she barely remembered responding to my greeting.

In fact, I barely remember seeing her speak in the first place.

She looked like a doll, to put it nicely, and to be honest, I felt like I was looking at a corpse.

She was so still that you could hardly call her a living being, and she didn't make a sound that you couldn't help but listen to her breathing and heartbeat.

''Hmph, saintess, it's time for breakfast~.''

''----''

''Morning saintess----''

''----''

''Hah----.''

Silence. Silence again.

I've been doing this for a long time, so I should be used to it by now, but every time it happens, I absentmindedly glance at her grave expression.

Her mysterious graying hair, as if she were looking at a snowfield without footprints, and her rubellite-colored eyes, which shine with honor without a ripple of emotion.

Her pure white skin far surpassed the light of the white jade, and I wondered at every turn if what I had opened was not a door, but rather a jewelry box, embracing a beauty so unearthly that I was caught in a dull illusion.

The saintess. Welna Angelas Ashes.

That's what the world calls the petite woman currently staring at the crackling TV screen in front of me.

And.

''Haah----. Welna. I'm home----.''

''โ”€!!!''

Wudangtang!

Hearing my voice calling out my name, this girl, who rushed at me in a flurry of excitement and grabbed my pants sleeve, I only call her 'Welna' in this space.

''Okay---- would it be nice if you answered like that already? I'll read the storybook to you slowly later. Let's eat first, okay?''

''Aaah!!!''

Honestly, I can't understand a word you're saying.

Assuming that she understood, I stroked her unruly hair affectionately.

โ—ˆโ—ˆโ—ˆโ—ˆ

''Come on, ahhhh!''

''Yup!''

''Here! One last bite! Ahhhhh!''

''Hap!''

After dozens of minutes of experiencing the feeling of a mother bird feeding her baby bird, I finally accomplished my task.

I wish I could have left some for her, but watching her gobble up every morsel I gave her made me a little suspicious of Sister's claim that she wouldn't take a bite without me.

''Aaah!''

''Huh? Oh, you want me to read you a story?''

When she finished eating, she demanded a reward from me, as if she had accomplished something great.

What an unfair world we live in where some people have to eat dozens of bowls of curses to get a delicious meal, while others are rewarded for chewing every bite.

''Okay----. Can you wait a minute----? Kghhhhh!''

''Uh huh!''

Even though I know all too well that there can't possibly be anyone else in this room besides me and her, I can't help but look around.

It's bad enough that I'm talking back to a saintess that everyone reveres and envies, but if any of the other congregants were to see me like this, treating her like a preschooler, I'd be sentenced to death for blasphemy.

No, perhaps I should consider it a blessing in disguise, for I might be forced to live a life of endless torture and healing in a netherworld where I would have to beg for death, which is bad enough for the Vatican bastards I know.

''Aah----! Aah----!''

''Ah, okay----. I'll read it to you right now----.''

She curled up on my lap, pounding her fists on my thighs as I read her a story.

The sound of her heartbeat echoed faintly from her tiny back against my chest. My consciousness stirred at the faint but unmistakable flutter of life.

The warmth of her flesh against mine was a constant reminder that she was not a doll, but a living thing, and her snow-white hair tickled the bridge of my nose, and the sweet scent of curdled milk wafted from it.

Tick, tick, tick.

I listened intently to the occasional ticking of the clock on my wrist and focused all my attention on the lovely words in front of me, as if I would never escape this enchanted space if I didn't. It was more of a reflex, born of an instinctive sense of danger.

''And so the princess, who awoke to the prince's kiss, lived a long and happy life...''

''----''

How long has it been.

Finally, the storybook recital called Breakfast Time has come to an end.

This time, the story must have been quite impressive, because even after the recitation was over, her face showed a rare color of emotion as she stared at the book.

Her lips pouted out in a pout, and a flush of red colored her flawless cheeks.

It was a cute sight, enough to make him smile, but he couldn't afford to dwell on it if he didn't hurry or he'd be late for the priests' meal.

The restaurant is run by a group of strict, tight-knit men, and if you don't arrive on time, the guardian priests, nabal, will not serve you.

If I miss this chance, I'll have to eat potatoes for breakfast again.

I'm willing to die for that.

''Well then, I'll see you again at lunchtime-''

At that moment, I gently put down the saintess on my lap, and was about to scurry away with a breakfast wish that lightly surpassed my piety.

''Huh?''

From the beautiful being of power that firmly gripped my crotch, a disturbing gust of wind whipped up in the back of my mind.

----No way.

''This----.''

A clear, jade-like ringing. A holy voice that sounded like the will of a deity swept through his consciousness without echo.

''This---- do-------- r----.''

My gaze slowly traveled in the direction her slender fingers pointed, and caught sight of the storybook I'd been reading to her earlier.

On the open page was a picture of a prince kissing a princess, the beautiful end of the story.

----So it is.

And---- here we go again----.

He barely swallowed the sigh that threatened to escape his lips, and stretched his nervously contorted brow into a smile.

Then, as if soothing a petulant child, I slowly made eye contact with her and conveyed my firm intentions to her.

''Oh---- no----.''

But.

''I'm going to---- ya----.''

''I'm saying no----''

''I will----.''

''saintess. I can't----.''

''I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

Every time I said no, the fading light in her rubellite-colored eyes and the creepy tone that repeated like a broken radio solemnly pronounced my life's doom.

I want to retire.