Lily came out of the tree onto a sort of balcony and looked down on the amazons from high above.
"Shut up and go away!" Lily shouted down at them.
"You little brat! We can't leave without our husband!" shouted Emily
"You were mean to him!"
"Whaat!?"
"I saw you breastfeeding him! Do you have any idea how humiliating that is!? He's not a baby!"
"He was fine with it!"
"See! You don't even understand him!"
"Why do you want him, anyway!? I've never heard of fairies taking interest in humans!"
"He's not a human! He's the first male fairy! That's why he belongs with us!"
Enna gasped loudly. "What if he is a fairy?"
"You really think he might be? I guess that would explain why he's so cute."
"Do fairies have impenetrable skin!?" Enna shouted up at Lily.
"What!? I don't know!"
Meanwhile, Rose led me to a weird, wooden, spiral staircase. Looking down the stairs, I saw that it was dimmer down there. For all I know, there's a torture chamber down there. They may look like cute little ladies, but they're actually ancient spirits or whatever. They may be very powerful as well. Cute capriciousness morphing into malevolence is such a classic horror setup, I should have seen it sooner.
"You know, I really don't think I need a bath." I said, trying to turn around and go back up.
There are like a dozen fairies behind me, still wearing those creepy smiles, blocking my path, urging me forward down the stairs.
"Don't be silly," said Rose, "a bath will do you good."
"Okay. . ."
It didn't actually get that dark as we descended, and I almost let out a sigh of relief when the room they led me to had a bath in it. It's like a large basin carved out of the wooden floor, filled with lightly steaming water. It actually looks really nice. When I turned around, I saw that all the fairies were naked. Is modesty not a thing in this world? That would explain why no one seems to care that I'm naked.
Rose indicated a stool, and I obediently sat down. The fairies dumped water on me and started washing me. They finished scrubbing me pretty quickly and I went to sit in the bath while the fairies washed themselves and each other. It feels nice, but it's hard to enjoy any of this while I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"Have you ever seen a fairy bleed!?" The argument outside continued.
"Fairies don't have blood, stupid!"
"This is getting us nowhere. Let's figure out if he's a fairy later." said Emily. Enna nodded.
"By kidnapping our husband, you have violated the pact between our people!" Enna shouted, getting back on track.
"What gives you the right to keep him to yourselves!?"
"He deflowered us, making him our husband, by rights!"
"Then he's my husband too!"
Emily gasped loudly. "You didn't!"
"How do you think we woke him up!?"
"I didn't know fairies could have sex." said Enna, ponderously.
"I've sure never heard of it." replied Emily.
"I wish I could have seen it happen."
Emily gasped. "That would be super cute."
"What are you two talking about down there!?"
"We'll share him! But you have to let us in, or we'll come back with an army of amazons!" Shouted Enna.
"Ugh! Fine! But you better keep your hands to yourselves!"
"Fine!"
Lily tossed down a rope ladder, and the amazons started to climb.