College feels heavier these days with the new semester. It's like the weight of my actions has settled into the air, pressing against my chest with every step I take. It's a strange thing, walking these halls and knowing I've changed the trajectory of so many lives. Dan's, Zulu's, my own. I've tried to bury myself in schoolwork, keep my head down, and avoid the glaring signs of what I've disrupted, but it's impossible to ignore the damage.
Dan's hurt looks are the worst. He doesn't speak to me anymore, not even in passing. His eyes dart away when I catch him in the hallway, but the pain in his expression lingers like a bruise. I used to think I'd feel relief, knowing he and Zulu didn't betray me this time, but it's only hollow. Whatever connection we had, is gone, replaced by silence and avoidance.
Zulu, for her part, seems entirely unbothered. She doesn't spare Dan a glance, doesn't fight for his attention. They're not even friends anymore. The spark of whatever might have been between them in the first 2014, has been snuffed out, and I'm left with the uneasy realization that I've altered their timeline. It's what I wanted, isn't it? But seeing them like this- distant, disjointed- I can't help but wonder what else I've changed.
Have I changed Gabe? From the quiet calm man, he was to the aggressive one he is now?
--
"Meg, you good?" Zulu asks one afternoon, snapping me out of my thoughts. She's sprawled on the common room couch, her wavy hair pulled into a loose bun and pink in color now.
I force a smile. "Yeah, just tired." We have been getting along once again. She had proven she was a sincere friend to me at the time I had the panic attack. She'd worked me through it like a professional.
"You've been tired a lot lately," Cindy pipes up from the other end of the room, her tone teasing but laced with concern. "You sure you're not sick or something?"
I wave them off, leaning against the counter. "I'm fine, honestly."
Zulu narrows her eyes at me, skeptical. "You're not still hung up on guilt because of Dan, are you?"
"No!" I blurt out, a little too quickly. Yes, I do but it's not why I am so drained. Also, I note that Dan had not told Zulu about our encounter during break, which means, they really weren't friends or being sneaky. I had changed their reality- our reality. My stomach grows heated with a sort of nervousness. What else had I altered?
Cindy snorts. "Good, because he's moping around like someone stole his puppy. It's pathetic."
I don't respond, the guilt gnawing at me. Whatever Dan is feeling, I caused it. And I can't even explain why without sounding insane. But I cannot be his friend either, can I?
--
The tension between Gabe and me seems to not end. Another begins long before the argument erupts. It starts when we leave the college gates, where he finds me just as Dan walks toward me.
Gabe pulled up on his motorbike, the engine's roar cutting through the awkward tension in the air. I saw the flicker of something in his eyes as he watched Dan glancing at me before turning away.
Dan didn't even try to speak; his lips pressed into a thin line as he walked past. Gabe doesn't greet me or say anything at first- just hands me his spare helmet, his jaw tight. I knew he saw Dan.
The ride to his house was quiet, though the engine's hum filled the silence between us. By the time we arrived, his mood had shifted, but I could still feel the edge of his thoughts.
Inside his apartment, I try to ease the mood. "How was your class?" I asked, hoping to distract him.
He shrugs, removing his leather jacket and tossing it over the back of the couch. "Fine."
There's an unspoken tension lingering, one that neither of us addresses. Instead, his hands find their way to my waist, pulling me into him. The warmth of his touch eases some of the tension in my chest, but his intensity is palpable.
His lips find mine, urgent, searching. Whatever unease he's feeling, he's channeling it into this moment, and I let myself get swept away. His hands grip my hips, sliding under my shirt, and I gasp as he lifts me onto the kitchen counter.
"Meg," he whispers against my neck, his voice low and gravelly.
"Gabe," I manage to breathe, my fingers tangling in his hair. Today would be different between us- unlike the previous make-out sessions we've had. I want this so badly- I know the way he moves in the bedroom, and I miss- everything. Being one with him.
We barely made it to his room, a tangle of limbs and whispered words. His touch is fevered, but there's something deeper beneath it, something raw. We crash into the sheets, the world outside forgotten, and for a moment, I think everything will be okay.
Later, in the shower, the steam rises around us, and the warmth of the water cascades down my skin. Gabe's arms wrap around me, pulling me against him. He presses a kiss to my temple, murmuring something I can't quite make out.
But then, the sound of his phone vibrating cuts through the moment. My eyes snap to the counter where he left it. The persistent hum grates on my nerves, and I pull away, grabbing a towel.
"Are you going to get that?" I query, my voice sharper than I intended.
"It's nothing," he says, turning the water off.
"Nothing?" I scoff, wrapping the towel around me. "Then why not answer it?"
"It's probably a spam call or something," he mutters, stepping out of the shower and running a hand through his wet hair. Spam call? We used to say that?
My patience snaps. "Or it's Cassandra."
His head jerks toward me, eyes narrowing. "What are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Gabe." I cross my arms, my wet hair dripping onto the floor. "Why haven't you blocked her? Why is she still in your life if she doesn't mean anything?" My chest is clustered at this point. This is just too much hurt to deal with.
He sighs, grabbing his towel. "This again? I told you, there's nothing between us." He starts wiping his skin dry.
"Then why is her number still in your phone?" I demand, my voice rising. "If she's nothing, prove it. Block her. Delete her. Do something!"
"I don't even talk to her, Meg!" he snaps, his voice growing louder. "Why are you so obsessed with this?"
"Because I deleted Dan!" I shout, my chest heaving. "I cut him out completely because of you. Because I respected our relationship, and you can't even do the same for me?" It's true. Completely. Even unfollowed him on socials.
Gabe's eyes flash with frustration. "Dan? You mean the guy you were talking to when I picked you up?"
"I wasn't talking to him!" I shouted back. "He walked up to me, and I was walking away. You know that!"
"Do I?" he challenges, stepping closer.
"Don't you dare twist this on me!" I hiss, jabbing a finger at his chest. "You're the one keeping her around. You're the one hiding things!"
His jaw tightens, and for a moment, I think he's going to yell again. Instead, he takes a deep breath, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.
"I'm not hiding anything," he says, his voice low and tense. "But you- you're driving yourself crazy over something that doesn't exist. And it's pushing me away."
I'm pushing him away?
His words sting, but I don't back down. "If it doesn't exist, prove it," I say, my voice trembling. "Block her. Delete her. Show me that I matter more."
Gabe stares at me, his grey eyes hard and unyielding. Then, without a word, he grabs his phone from the counter. He unlocks it, scrolling through his contacts, and holds it out to me.
"There," he says, his voice cold. "Happy now?"
I glance at the screen, where Cassandra's contact is open. He deletes it with a single tap, the action somehow feels hollow.
But the damage is already done. The tension between us hangs thick in the air, and I know this argument is far from over. Grabbing my discarded clothing, I change back into my clothing and Gabe's face twists with something I can't name, something fierce and raw, as I turn toward the door.
"Megara, don't you dare," he growls, his voice low and menacing.
I freeze, but just for a second. Then I take another step. His hand is on me before I can reach the handle, wrapping around my wrist with a grip so tight it makes me gasp, his towel dropping then.
"Let me go, Gabe," I say, trying to keep my voice steady. He picked up the dropped towel, by his feet and moved to block the path to the door with his naked body as he draped the towel on his narrow waist.
"You're not walking away from me," he snaps, pushing me back into the room towards his bed. His eyes blaze, and his jaw is set in a way that sends a shiver down my spine. I try to pull free, but his other hand clamps down on my shoulder.
"Stop, Gabe! You're hurting me!"
For a second, his grip slackens, and I think I've gotten through to him. But then his hands tightened again, almost desperate as if I'm something he can't bear to lose.
"You don't get to leave me, Meg," he grits out, his voice trembling with rage and something darker, something terrifying.
I twist against his hold, my heart pounding, but it only seems to make him angrier. One hand moves to my neck- not choking, but firm, holding me in place as he looms over me. His face is inches from mine, his breath hot against my skin.
"You and I," he hisses, his grey eyes locking onto mine with an intensity that makes me freeze, "are never over. Do you hear me? Never." What and who is this man right now? Gabriel had never been this way with me during our marriage. He treated me like glass.
Tears sting my eyes. "Gabe, you're scaring me," I whisper but my frightened heart is pumping like a freight train. Adrenaline running through my veins.
His expression falters, just for a second, before hardening again. "I don't care. You're mine." He has a look in his eyes, I had never seen before- wild.
Summoning every ounce of strength, I wrench myself free, stumbling back toward the door. My heart races as I bolt from the room, his voice following me like a shadow as he roared my name out.
I wait for him in the kitchen, after all, he has to take me home. He is calm by the time he changes and comes down. He apologizes for his 'aggressive' behavior, and I say it is fine. Only because I know the real Gabriel and I know he won't hurt me. Had I not known him in our future- I would have bolted within a second glance. Done, done, done with him.
But I do wonder why he was behaving the way he was. Was my mom right and Gabe and I have a toxic relationship?