The following morning, Qin Lan woke up earlier than usual, the weight of the previous night still pressing down on her chest. Her conversation with Lu Yan had left her restless, torn between the desire to believe in his sincerity and the ever-present doubt that clung to her like a shadow. She had told him she needed time, but now that the silence had returned, she wasn't sure what that really meant.
The house was eerily quiet as she got ready for work. As she descended the stairs, she half-expected to see Lu Yan waiting for her in the kitchen or by the door, but the space was empty. There was a part of her that was relieved—she wasn't sure she was ready for another confrontation. Yet, the silence felt heavier than usual, as if something important had been left unsaid between them.
Her phone buzzed just as she was about to leave. It was a message from Zhang Lei, checking in on her after their conversation the previous night.
Zhang Lei: How did it go? Did you talk to him?
Qin Lan stared at the screen for a moment before typing her reply.
Qin Lan: Yeah, we talked. But I'm still not sure about anything.
She hesitated for a moment before sending the next message.
Qin Lan: Do you think I'm just overthinking it?
A few moments passed before Zhang Lei's response came through.
Zhang Lei: You've been through a lot, so it makes sense that you're feeling unsure. But don't torture yourself, okay? You deserve to know where you stand. And if he's serious, he'll prove it with time.
Qin Lan sighed, pocketing her phone. Time. It seemed like that was the only thing she could rely on these days. Time to heal. Time to figure out what she really wanted. Time for Lu Yan to prove himself.
---
The office was a welcome distraction, bustling with activity as Qin Lan threw herself into her work. It was easier to focus on contracts and meetings than to think about the tangled mess of her personal life. But even here, Song Rui's presence haunted her.
That afternoon, a client mentioned Lu Yan in passing, praising his recent business decisions. Qin Lan smiled politely, but her mind was elsewhere. Did everyone still see Lu Yan as the perfect CEO? The untouchable man who had everything together? She knew him differently now—his vulnerabilities, his struggles. But that only made her question how much of what she saw was real.
By the time she returned home that evening, the house felt even emptier than it had that morning. Lu Yan wasn't home, and there was no message to say where he was. Qin Lan's chest tightened as a wave of insecurity washed over her. Had he gone to see Song Rui?
She quickly shook off the thought, berating herself for jumping to conclusions. Lu Yan had said he was moving forward, but her mind couldn't help but wander to darker places. The ghosts of his past still lingered, and Qin Lan wasn't sure if she could exorcise them.
---
That night, Qin Lan sat by the window in their bedroom, staring out into the city skyline. The soft hum of traffic below was a soothing backdrop, but her thoughts remained turbulent. She hadn't heard from Lu Yan all day, and the longer the silence stretched, the more her anxiety grew.
Suddenly, the sound of the front door creaking open echoed through the house. Qin Lan's heart skipped a beat, and she quickly rose to her feet, making her way downstairs.
Lu Yan was standing by the door, his coat slung over his arm, and his expression unreadable. He looked exhausted, but there was a calmness in his demeanor that caught Qin Lan off guard.
"Where were you?" she asked, trying to keep her tone neutral, though the question came out sharper than she intended.
Lu Yan's gaze softened slightly, as if he understood the unspoken fear behind her words. "I had a meeting with some investors that ran late. I'm sorry I didn't let you know."
Qin Lan nodded slowly, feeling a mix of relief and frustration. She wanted to believe him—wanted to trust that he was being honest—but the doubt was still there, gnawing at the edges of her mind.
"Are you okay?" Lu Yan asked, stepping closer. His concern was genuine, but Qin Lan could sense the hesitation in his approach, as if he wasn't sure how close he was allowed to get.
"I'm fine," Qin Lan replied, though she wasn't sure if that was the truth. She took a deep breath before continuing. "Lu Yan, I don't want to live like this—constantly questioning everything. I told you I need time, but… I need more than that."
Lu Yan's brow furrowed slightly. "What do you need?"
"I need to know that you're all in," Qin Lan said, her voice trembling slightly. "I need to know that you're not holding back anymore. I can't compete with a memory, Lu Yan. I can't compete with her."
For a long moment, Lu Yan didn't respond. The silence between them was heavy, almost suffocating, and Qin Lan felt her heart sink. Had she said too much?
But then, to her surprise, Lu Yan stepped forward, his hand reaching for hers. "You're not competing with anyone, Qin Lan," he said quietly. "There is no competition."
His words were soft, but they carried a weight that Qin Lan hadn't expected. She looked up at him, searching his face for any sign of hesitation or doubt, but all she saw was a man standing in front of her, ready to confront the ghosts that had been haunting them both.
"I know I've made mistakes," Lu Yan continued, his grip on her hand tightening slightly. "But I'm not going to lose you because of them. I'm not going to let the past keep us from moving forward."
Qin Lan's throat tightened as a surge of emotion washed over her. She wanted to believe him—wanted to believe that they could build something real, something lasting. But the fear of getting hurt again still lingered in the back of her mind.
"I'm scared," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
"I know," Lu Yan said softly, his thumb brushing gently over the back of her hand. "I'm scared too."
The vulnerability in his voice caught her off guard, and for the first time, Qin Lan felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe they could move forward. Maybe they could rebuild what had been broken.
But it would take time.
---
The days that followed were a tentative dance between trust and doubt. Lu Yan made an effort—small gestures that showed he was trying to bridge the gap between them. He would text her during the day to check in, offer to cook dinner, and spend more time at home. But Qin Lan knew that it would take more than gestures to rebuild her trust in him.
One evening, as they sat together on the couch, Qin Lan couldn't help but feel the weight of the unspoken words still hanging between them. She turned to Lu Yan, her voice soft but steady.
"Do you think we'll ever be okay?" she asked, her gaze fixed on the floor.
Lu Yan was silent for a moment, his expression thoughtful. "I think we will be, eventually," he said, his voice quiet but certain. "But it won't be easy."
Qin Lan nodded, appreciating his honesty. She knew that rebuilding their relationship would take time and effort from both of them. But for the first time in a long time, she felt like they were on the same page—both of them willing to put in the work.
As they sat together in the quiet of the evening, Qin Lan allowed herself to believe that maybe, just maybe, they could make it through this.
---
End of Chapter 15
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