Five years after national service she called. she said she was in town and wanted to see me. We dated while I was doing my service. A lady I met in town and fell in love with. She came to live with me at some point. She served me like every woman would serve the man she loved. We made love every night when our strength could allow us. After national service, I left town and didn't see her again.
We met in town the following day. She was carrying a girl. When I asked who the child was for, she told me we should get home first. I took her home and offered something to eat and something to drink. When we settled she told me the girl was mine. I laughed. "If it's a joke, come again because this isn't funny."
She told me she was bringing the girl to me because she was tired of carrying her around. "I've spared you for years. It's your turn now."
My mom spoke to her the way moms do. My dad told her I didn't have a job to care for a child so she should take her time. She didn't listen. She left the sleeping girl on my bed and ran away. I said she ran away because she did. She took to her heels and ran like she was being pursued.
Days later, I set off alone to go and look for her. I went to where I did my service. I went to her house. I spoke to her parents. They said she had left home but they didn't know that was her plan. They couldn't tell where I could find her so I came back home to be a father. I knew it was going to be tough, especially without a job but I was ready. It was April 2010.
With the help of my parents, the girl started schooling. A year came, then another, then another. She called me daddy. Sometimes she called me by my real name. One day she asked me, "Dad, when is my birthday?"
I had no idea. Her mom was also out of the surface of the earth so there was no one to ask. I chose February 11th. That's my birthday. The only thing we could do together was cut a cake and share the slice.
The next time I heard from her mom again was in 2023. She had gone to my parents' house asking about us. When I got a job and left my parents' house, I left with her. I was ready to do it all alone. My mom, out of anger, told her I'd traveled out of the country with the girl. She asked for a number but my parents gave her none.
A year later she's back. This time she found us. She was looking frail and sick. I didn't bother to ask where she had been. She said she was coming for the girl. I laughed. "If this is a joke, come again because this isn't funny."
I sent the girl inside and locked the door. I was ready to fight to keep what was mine. "Go away before I give you a bite of my anger. When I begged you to keep her, did you do it? Why are you back when all is well?"
"I lied to you," she said. "I'm not the one looking for her. Her real dad is coming for her. If you fight me, you'll end up fighting with him."
Again, I took it as one of her jokes until a man called asking me to return his daughter. We fought on the phone. We questioned each other's manhood and put our masculinity to the test. When the dust settled, I decided to do what I should have done the very first day she was brought to me. A DNA test. I did and guess what, I wasn't the father.
Instead of anger, I chose to be ashamed. "How do I break this to my parents? That the girl we suffered to grow isn't ours." I cried. I looked at her and felt the weight of my shame pressing me down. I haven't said anything to her. And I haven't said anything to anyone. The guy who called hasn't called again. My ex hasn't called again. I tell myself I won't accept defeat but for how long can I keep what's not mine, especially a human being?
Hmmm. I don't know. I just don't know what to do.