Emma's POV
"You sound like there's a lot there." I said, pointing to his heart. "Wanna let it out?" I asked.
"Let's see how far this booze talks." He replied to me.
"I don't want the booze." I said, looking him in the eye. "I want you. I want you to talk to me, Chase."
"He's not who you think he is." Chase said.
"You're not one to tell me that." I replied to him.
"Well, true." He poured another cup and continued.
"How much do you want to know?" He asked. His pupils were already lazy, and he could barely look straight.
"Everything."I replied, walking towards him.
I sat on the bar table in Mark's room, and looked straight into Chase's eye.
"Do you think I'm innocent?" He asked, with a surprisingly straight face.
"No." I replied, laughing, "you most definitely are not."
"That's a good start." He said, right before pouring another cup.
I snatched the bottle off the table and tucked it behind me.
"There's more." He said, looking at me and laughed.
"I know." I said. "Just not this one."
"Emma, just stop it." He said.
"Stop what?" I replied.
"Stop looking at me with so much faith." He replied. "I'm not much better than I seem." He added. "This really is all of me."
"No it isn't." I replied, in defiance .
"Alright." He nodded, eyes closed. "Tell me what you'd do if you saw your mom die. I'd rephrase that, if she died in your arms."
"But you didn't kill her." I said, rubbing his head. He held my arms away and dropped them on my legs.
"You don't know that." He replied.
"I kinda do." I shot back.
"You talk too much." He said.
"Not when I'm not comfortable." I replied.
"So you're comfortable around a murderer?" He asked, grinning.
"You're not one." I replied.
"I kinda am. You know how you see certain things, but the kind is still too young to process, and then, you just realize how it actually was years down the line?" He asked.
Chase was already almost dead drunk, but still treading softly.
"I'm broken, Emma." He whined, looking down at his toes. "You don't wanna know what kinda things I've done with Jessica." All of Chase's past could be reeled, and I'd be stiff and emotionless, but not the part that concerned her. I just hated that she was always everywhere. Sometimes, I feared he thought of her when he was with me. "Did I make you angry?" He asked, smiling.
"No!" My voice rose a pitch louder, even though I was struggling to stay still and unfazed.
"You are." He said. "But that's the thing, you have to know my ugly self, and she's a big part of it." Outwardly, maybe it seemed like I was in control, but I wanted him to badly skip the Jessica subject, or just not mention her name.
"Jessica and I go a long way," He started. "We've been friends since we were eleven. We went to County elementary together, we did Middle school together, and here we are." He continued.
"I don't think that I could ever just let go. I'll correct that, I 'didn't '. But then you came along, Emma. You came and changed everything I was holding on to. At first it scared me, that would be a little sketchy to say cause you'd say I always teased you…" Chase rapped on and on, but I had to cut him.
"Bullied. That's the word, you bullied me." I corrected him.
"Yeah. Something got a hold of me, and I just didn't know myself anymore. I was out of my mind and already no good with being with Jessica." He continued. "I lost control when you were next to me. Emma, I was falling apart right in front of you. You made me lose my sense. You broke my heart, my resolve. Emma, you made a mess of me and my emotions. I became irritating to her. Our biggest fight was because of you."
I had begun to get teary. Chase was not as drunk as I thought, he was still very coherent.
"Emma, I began to think of you and see you in stuff I did. I'd think of you, dream about you. I had no breathing space. Emma, I always needed you close. You were literally the air I breathe. I wanted you to be everywhere with me. The green eyed witch who held my heart in her hands. I had never been so stolen about anyone."
"When all that shit with Gray happened, it struck me more that I really could lose you. I could lose you, Emma and I don't want that to happen. Want to hold you forever and slow down time. I want to try to slow down all the times you spend with me, all the moments you're smiling, like now. I want to be the one you run to, Emma."
"Chase, this is the booze talking, you need to sleep." I said, giving him my hand to take. His eyes were red and a little watery.
Chase had women who were everything I was insecure about at his disposal. I knew I was gonna be stuck for the rest of my life, imagining how he could be so okay with me.
"No!" He screamed. "Gray is tired of hearing how much I love you. But I feel sorry for him cause he may never experience this. Emma, I'm far from perfect, but I swear on my late mom, I've never felt this way about anyone, Emma. It's not the booze talking. I can see your face, Emma. I love you, I love your green eyes, I want them to be mine, Emma, I want you to be mine. I hear your voice in my head all the time and it only makes me fall more fucking deeper for you. I can't imagine being away from you." Chase was saying too much.
It's the most he'd called my name in a single conversation, ever.
"I'm tired of thinking there's tomorrow. Emma, let's fight for what we have today. I don't want you crossing any bridges I can't follow. I want to be close to you always. Emma, I don't want a Romeo and Juliet for us. You're ecstasy, and as long as I have life, I'd fight for you. I'd borrow more time if it meant spending it with you."