Yan Ruozhe did not immediately agree to the terms offered by Li Xin. She desperately searched for cases similar to Qian Shaowen's, but pessimistically found that the success rate for this type of surgery was indeed very low. Li Xin's operation back then was one of the most successful; the patient from that time was still alive. Yan Ruozhe found it hard to associate the Li Xin she knew with the one once hailed as the "dark horse" of the medical world. Humans are truly creatures of prejudice Yan Ruozhe is impression of Li Xin had long been fixed on the image from their first encounter.
Li Xin looked uneasily at the now-awake Yan Ruozhe. Her silence only made Li Xin more anxious.
"I'm sorry," Li Xin said, her face filled with guilt. She also felt that she had behaved terribly.
Yan Ruozhe slowly turned her head to look at Li Xin. She never imagined that she would lose her virginity to a woman, a thought she found utterly absurd.
"Do you like women?" It was evident that this was the only way to explain why such an absurd thing had happened.
Li Xin nodded, especially since she liked the woman in front of her. From the moment she woke up in a panic, she had since regained her rationality and composure.
"You are like this," Yan Ruozhe said coldly.
"I just like you. I fell for you at first sight. I couldn't help myself," Li Xin explained. She didn't know how she had acted so recklessly and done such a terrible thing.
"Many crimes are committed out of impulse, but a crime is still a crime!" Yan Ruozhe had never imagined being fancied by someone of the same gender, but it was clearly not something to be happy about.
"I'm sorry..." Li Xin lowered her head even more.
"Forget it." Yan Ruozhe felt that it was her own fault. Though she found Li Xin detestable, she was even angrier with herself. If she hadn't gone drinking in an unfamiliar place, this wouldn't have happened. Perhaps she should at least be thankful that it wasn't a man, so there wouldn't be any lasting physical consequences.
"I can take responsibility for you," Li Xin said earnestly.
"There's no need." Yan Ruozhe got up to get dressed. She wanted no further association with the woman in front of her.
"I really like you," Li Xin said, looking at Yan Ruozhe with sincerity.
"I won't like women," Yan Ruozhe replied coldly. She meticulously put on her plain suit, not wanting to have any entanglement with the woman before her.
"What does it matter whether it's a man or a woman? I don't think you disliked what happened last night, which means you could possibly accept women. I will keep pursuing you," Li Xin said, refusing to give up.
"I'm married. Please don't cause me any trouble," Yan Ruozhe said. She did not deny what had happened the previous night. Though Li Xin had initially ignored her feeble resistance and forcibly initiated intimacy, she couldn't deny the pleasure she later felt. But thinking about that pleasure only made her hate Li Xin more.
"I can be your lover without causing trouble for you," Li Xin said. At this point, gender and marriage no longer mattered to her. She was utterly blinded by love.
"Do you have no sense of morality?" Yan Ruozhe asked. The idea of becoming the lover of a married woman was morally and ethically wrong, yet this woman seemed completely indifferent to it.
"Love has nothing to do with morality," Li Xin said. She had always believed she was born for love and could give up anything for it.
"I'm Li Xin. I will keep pursuing you until you're willing to be my lover," Li Xin declared. From the moment she saw Yan Ruozhe, she knew she would be difficult to win over. But she wouldn't give up because she had a premonition that Yan Ruozhe wouldn't be a fleeting presence in her life. Li Xin was a woman who followed her instincts, and her instincts were often incredibly accurate.
"I will never like you. Give up on this," Yan Ruozhe said, feeling she could never fall for someone like Li Xin, a shallow and shameless woman.
Li Xin suddenly woke up, her heart aching slightly. In her dream, Yan Ruozhe had said "I will never like you" repeatedly. She thought back to the past and wondered if she had been wrong from the start. Had she been forcing Yan Ruozhe all along? But now, at this point, there was no turning back. Even if it was wrong, she was determined to see it through.
After waking, Li Xin couldn't fall back asleep. She checked the clock it was already 6 a.m. She got up to go for a run. Before becoming Yan Ruozhe is lover, she had maintained this habit. But since becoming her lover, she had let herself go. Thinking about it, her years as Yan Ruozhe is lover were truly a period of self-indulgence. Even becoming her lover had been something she had forced.
When Li Xin arrived at the hospital, a nurse informed her that Madam Qian was looking for her.
Li Xin went to Qian Shaowen's room for rounds, gently pushing open the door. She saw Yan Ruozhe sitting by the bed. It wasn't hard to imagine that Yan Ruozhe had been watching over him all night. This sight made Li Xin feel both heartache and jealousy.
"What do you want from me?" Li Xin asked, feigning nonchalance.
"Do you have any surgeries today?" Yan Ruozhe didn't care about Li Xin's attitude.
"A minor one at three in the afternoon," Li Xin replied truthfully. Yan Ruozhe is usually pale face looked even paler, likely from lack of sleep. At that moment, Li Xin almost wished Qian Shaowen would die, just so Yan Ruozhe wouldn't have to suffer like this.
"Can I watch?" Yan Ruozhe didn't completely trust Li Xin's medical skills. Hearing was one thing; seeing was believing. She needed to confirm it herself.
"If you're not squeamish, suit yourself," Li Xin said with a hint of sarcasm. She knew Yan Ruozhe couldn't reconcile the Li Xin she knew with "Doctor Li." Her impression of her had always been poor, and she had never truly known or understood her. She knew nothing of her past.
Yan Ruozhe and some interns watched on a high-definition screen as Li Xin performed an open-chest surgery. Although Yan Ruozhe didn't understand what Li Xin was doing, the skilled, calm movements seemed to transform her into another person. With a commanding presence, Li Xin seemed unrecognizable to Yan Ruozhe, who had known her for five years. Had she seen this side of her before, she wouldn't have dismissed her as a shallow vase.
"Not squeamish, are you?" Li Xin asked Yan Ruozhe, her concern still showing despite her best efforts to hide it.
Yan Ruozhe shook her head. Though the bloody scenes were a bit nauseating, they were still within her tolerance.
"Not bad. The first time I saw an open-chest surgery, I was so sick I nearly died. Now, even though I'm numb to it, I still find it unpleasant," Li Xin said with rare lightness. Talent wasn't built overnight; it required endless practice and effort.
"You don't like being a doctor?" Otherwise, why give up such a promising career to become her lover? Yan Ruozhe couldn't understand love, but she couldn't agree with Li Xin's choices.
"Yes. Even now, I have to admit that the thing I'm best at is the thing I like the least," Li Xin said, somewhat surprised that Yan Ruozhe would ask such a question. She thought Yan Ruozhe had no interest in her life.
"Not everyone has talent. You shouldn't bury yours," Yan Ruozhe said sincerely.
"Do you care?" Li Xin's heart warmed and she blurted out the question.
"That's your choice. It has nothing to do with me," Yan Ruozhe said indifferently.
Li Xin's heart immediately cooled again.
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