Chapter 12: Aliens and NEETs
My restaurant was closed for the night, so I decided to head over to the Yokai Palace and report everything that had happened to my mother, Yasaka. I knew she wouldn't be pleased about the situation. Sure enough, when I told her about the attack on my new territory in another dimension, her eyes narrowed, and her frown deepened.
"Random knights, attacking your village?" Yasaka's voice was sharp. Her nine golden tails swayed slowly behind her, a sign she was trying to stay calm, but I could tell she was still very upset.
"Yes, I captured nine of them," I replied, leaning against a nearby wall. "I decided to not keep them together and split them up three ways. Gazef took three back to the Re-Estize Kingdom. Three are being held in the village, in case Momonga is interested in questioning them whenever he returns. And the last three," I pointed down, "are in the dungeons here."
Yasaka sighed, rubbing her temples. "Clearly, we'll need to keep some permanent yokai guards in that village from now on," she said thoughtfully. "At least until we decide if we want to set up a colony in that dimension."
I nodded in agreement. "That's a good idea. I don't want hostile people breaking into my restaurant or scaring my customers."
Yasaka let out a small laugh, breaking the tension. "Do you even have any customers that would actually get scared, Haru?"
I smirked. "Reigen?"
She giggled again. "That's true I suppose, although Mob is usually there to protect his teacher."
It wasn't exactly hard for us to find out Arataka Reigen didn't actually have any psychic powers whatsoever, but that didn't stop Yasaka from constantly hiring the guy. His apprentice Mob was the most powerful Psychic anyone had ever heard of, and we'd still not seen the full extent of his powers. Even that terrifying Evil Spirit, Being X, that had haunted Tanya through two lifetimes was nothing in the face of Mob's power.
Yasaka chuckled when I brought those two up in the same sentence. "You know, the last time I saw Mob…he asked how Tanya-chan was doing?" she said and I snorted.
I couldn't help but chuckle as well. "Aww, I guess he really did develop a little crush after she kissed him." No one had told him that Tanya used to be a man yet, we all just found it too funny to say anything…
I spent the next half hour generally chatting with Yasaka about everything going on in Kyoto. Kunou was doing well with her tutors, and we were able to set up an official identity for Tanya-chan. The girl had taken a couple of tests that doubled as her high school exams, and last I heard, she was doing the same for her college courses. There was no reason for her to rush, considering she was in the body of a 13-year-old girl and already had a high-paying job, but obviously no one told her that. The little blonde ex-soldier had a more efficient work ethic than anyone I'd ever known…
I didn't feel like returning to the restaurant, so I decided to spend the night in my bedroom at the palace. It had been a long day, and the comfort of my old bed was nice. The next morning, I woke up early, feeling well-rested, and headed to the kitchen to make breakfast for Kunou, Yasaka, and Tanya-chan. It wasn't long before the smell of eggs and miso soup filled the palace halls.
As I set the plates down, I noticed Tanya, sitting at the table, looking half-awake. She barely acknowledged the food. It wasn't until I brought over a fresh pot of coffee and poured her a cup that her eyes started to focus.
"Morning, Tanya-chan," I said with a grin as she sipped her first cup. "How are you holding up?"
She grunted, clearly still half-asleep, and waved me off with a lazy hand. It wasn't until she had finished her third cup that she finally perked up, her eyes sharper and more alert.
"Much better. Thanks," she said, looking at the breakfast spread with more interest. "I don't know how people function without coffee."
Kunou, on the other hand, was already digging into her food. "Onii-chan, this is so good! You always make the best breakfasts!"
"Thanks, Kunou," I smiled, watching her eat with enthusiasm. I then turned to Yasaka. "I wanted to talk to you mother about something I forgot to bring up last night."
Yasaka, sitting across from me with her usual serene grace, raised an eyebrow. "Ara? What is it, my dear son?"
"Thanks for telling me that I'm now officially engaged to Rias now…" I said with a bit of playful sarcasm.
Yasaka grinned, giving me a mischievous look. "I figured it would be a pleasant little surprise," she teased. "You told me that she was with you during the attack yesterday. Were you two doing anything before that?"
I chuckled, shaking my head. "We were actually on a date in the new dimension... killing zombies."
Kunou's ears perked up, and she immediately interrupted, her eyes wide with excitement. "Wait! You went and killed a bunch of zombies without me, Onii-chan?! That's not fair!" She pouted, crossing her arms, clearly feeling left out.
I laughed at her reaction. "Sorry, Kunou, it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing. Next time, I'll make sure to invite you along."
Even Tanya looked intrigued by the mention of zombies. She set her coffee down and leaned forward slightly. "Zombies, huh? They would've made decent target practice to keep me in good form." She paused, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "I've upgraded my arsenal since returning to a modern world. My guns and even my computation orb are much more powerful now. Could've been a fun way to test them out."
Kunou looked even more excited at the idea of fighting zombies with her, and I could only imagine the chaos the two of them would cause together. Kunou wasn't particularly powerful yet, due to her young age, but the girl's head was full of mischief and she always found the strangest ways to utilize her limited Youki. Like the one time I watched her slap an explosive talisman onto her YoYo to turn it into a deadly magical weapon. Yasaka's garden did not survive the destruction that day and that was one of the few times Kunou ever got some–well deserved–spankings from our mother.
I returned to The Fox Hole in a good mood. Spending the morning with Kunou, Yasaka, and Tanya-chan had been exactly what I needed. As I stepped through the doors of the restaurant, I noticed Enri wasn't in yet, which wasn't all that surprising. After everything she'd been through yesterday, she was probably spending some much-needed time with her little sister. I didn't mind—it was quiet enough that I could handle things on my own for now.
I walked behind the counter, checking to make sure all my cooking equipment was clean and ready to go. The kitchen was pristine, as always, my knives gleaming, and the scent of fresh ingredients lingered in the air. I turned on the stove and prepared some basic ingredients for breakfast, ready for anyone who might wander in. After about ten minutes of peaceful silence, the door creaked open, and I looked up, smiling.
"Welcome to The Fox Hole! You can sit anywhere you like," I called out cheerfully, waving a hand toward the empty tables.
But instead of heading to a seat, the person—no, the woman?—paused in the doorway, staring at me with wide eyes. At least, I assumed she was a woman. She was stunning, her beauty was striking in a way that was otherworldly. Her skin, however, was dark blue. And instead of hair, she had these... tentacle-like appendages that flowed down from the top of her head.
I blinked, not entirely sure what I was looking at, but I smiled, trying to keep things casual.
"Is everything alright?" I asked her as she stood in the entrance.
The woman hesitated, her eyes darting around the restaurant before they settled back on me. There was something in her expression—confusion, maybe even caution. She seemed unsure of what to make of the place, or perhaps me.
"Yes... sorry," she finally said, her voice soft, with a slight melodic tone. "I was just... I didn't expect to find a place like this here." Her gaze lingered on me for a moment longer, and I could sense she was trying to figure me out.
"Well, I like to think The Fox Hole is full of surprises." I said knowingly. I gestured again to the tables or the bar. "Go ahead, make yourself comfortable."
The woman nodded slowly, still looking a little uncertain, but she made her way to one of the empty booths close to the bar. She sat down carefully, her posture poised and elegant, as if she was used to being in control of herself, despite the unfamiliar setting.
As I watched her, I couldn't help but wonder where she was from. The blue skin, the tentacle-like... hair? This wasn't something you saw every day, even in my restaurant, which had been connecting to some rather strange places recently.
– Tevos –
It wasn't often that Councilor Tevos found herself completely blindsided, but that was exactly how she felt as she stood in the doorway of this strange restaurant, The Fox Hole.
She wouldn't call herself reckless, but every once in a while, she enjoyed slipping away from the rigid structure of the Citadel and blending in among the civilians. Walking incognito gave her a different perspective—a better understanding of the people she helped govern alongside the other council members. And that's how she found herself discovering this new establishment that she didn't remember seeing the last time she walked the presidium. She felt she had a firm grasp on the current state of affairs in the galaxy.
That sense of control shattered the moment she walked into this establishment and was confronted with a being she had never seen before.
She did her best to maintain her calm facade, but it took every ounce of her will to keep her face neutral. At first glance, she had thought the "restaurant owner" was just a human with an unusual choice in fashion. His outfit looked a bit dated to modern standards, but it was the golden ears and nine swishing tails that really caught her attention. She had initially dismissed them as some kind of elaborate, perhaps cultural, costume. However, when she subtly reached out with her biotics, intending to get a faint sense of his aura, she felt something shocking!
This man—if she could call him that—was no mere human. The sheer power that radiated from him was unlike anything she had ever encountered, more potent than any biotic presence she had sensed, even from the strongest Justicars! He exuded an energy so intense, so otherworldly, that Tevos instinctively knew this being could easily surpass any opponent the galaxy had to offer. She kept her breathing steady, her expression composed, but her mind raced as she tried to understand just what—or who—this being was.
His golden ears twitched slightly, and those nine large, fluffy tails swayed behind him as he stood there with a welcoming smile.
"If you don't mind me asking... what exactly are you?" Tevos finally managed to say, her voice steady despite the absurdity of the situation. She hoped the question didn't come off as rude. She knew many species across the galaxy could be sensitive when it came to direct inquiries, especially those concerning their nature.
To her surprise, the man chuckled softly and let out a sigh of relief, as if she had eased some invisible tension. "I was just about to ask you the same thing," he said. His casual tone, combined with that easy smile, made her heart skip a beat.
Tevos blinked. Well... that was unexpected. She hadn't been in her maiden years for quite some time, and yet something about him was undeniably disarming.
Still, his response confused her. How could he be running a restaurant on the Citadel and not know what an Asari was? It was perplexing.
She smiled politely, her confusion momentarily masked. "I see... well, I am an Asari," she explained. "My name is Tevos." She gave him her real name and noticed there was no recognition in his eyes.
He smiled again, that same charming grin that seemed to glow with warmth. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Tevos. I'm Haru, and this is my restaurant, The Fox Hole. I'm a kitsune yokai. Specifically, a nine-tailed fox."
Tevos blinked, her curiosity now fully piqued. "A nine-tailed fox?" She put her finger to her chin, thinking. The name sounded vaguely familiar. She vaguely recalled that the Island nation of Japan on Earth had ancient lore and myths about such creatures. But that's all they were supposed to be…myths.
And now a myth was staring her in the face, and Tevos couldn't help but be a bit nervous. Especially considering the human myths sometimes portrayed nine tailed foxes as literal Gods…
Tevos would have laughed at such an absurd concept if it was staring her in the face. "You own this restaurant?" she asked, keeping her practiced calm facade from years of being a politician. "I don't remember authorizing a new restaurant to open in the presidium…especially directly across from the Citadel tower itself."
POP!
Tevos let out a small yelp as a data slab of all things randomly materialized from thin air with a soft pop. The metallic device floated for a split second before gravity took hold, but before it could hit the floor, Haru, with reflexes faster than anything she had ever seen, snatched it cleanly out of the air. His eyes darted over the slab's glowing screen as he casually skimmed through the information displayed.
For a moment, Tevos just stood there, still processing the sudden appearance of the object. She hadn't even had time to question where it had come from when Haru turned around and, with a small, amused smile, handed it over to her.
"What is… HUH?!" Tevos nearly choked on her words as her eyes darted across the data displayed on the screen. Disbelief quickly washed over her as she processed what she was seeing.
The slab contained a contract—one that authorized the sale of the very plot of Citadel land on which The Fox Hole was sitting. Not just any contract, though. This one was unbelievable. The terms were beyond generous. The new owner, Haru, apparently, owned the plot outright, free and clear of any Citadel taxes, ever. And if that wasn't enough, it explicitly stated that he was allowed to operate any business he wanted from this plot, without needing any further approval from Citadel authorities.
Her heart raced as her gaze landed on the bottom of the slab, where the electronic signatures of all three Citadel Council members were neatly displayed—including her own. Her fingers shook as she tapped on her name, and her Omni-Tool scanned and verified the signature.
It was real…
Tevos blinked, her mind reeling. Her Omni-Tool had the best security in the galaxy—it was designed to be unhackable!
Did she actually sign this? There were so many forms, so many documents that were sent to her on a daily basis that, admittedly, she hadn't always been the most careful about what she approved. The bureaucracy of running the Citadel was immense, and not every document was scrutinized as it should be.
But this?
Haru tilted his head slightly, still watching her with that same calm, amused expression, as if this entire situation wasn't completely surreal. "Everything okay there, Councilor?" he asked, there was a glint of mischief in his eyes that made her pout at him.
Tevos stared at the data slab in stunned silence for a moment longer before finally looking up at him. "How… How did this happen?" she asked, her voice softer now, more bewildered than accusatory.
Haru shrugged, his tails swishing lazily behind him as if the situation was no more serious than a casual conversation. "I think you signed it, right?" His grin widened slightly, and he gestured toward her signature on the slab. "Looks like everything's in order."
Tevos rubbed her temples, trying to push through the growing headache. "I… I don't remember signing this," she admitted, her pride taking a hit.
– Haru –
I shrugged at the pretty blue woman. It was obvious by now that my restaurant had appeared in yet another dimension, but something felt a bit different this time. What exactly was an Asari and what was the Citadel that Tevos was a Council Member of? From the way she talked about it, it sounded like it was a big deal in this dimension.
Tevos gave me a strange look after I asked her my questions.
"...The Citadel isn't on Earth, Haru," she explained with a touch of bewilderment. "It's located far away in the middle of the Milky Way galaxy. I'm not from Earth either, I've never set foot on the planet…"
I was completely thrown by those responses. My jaw might've dropped a little as the realization dawned on me.
Woah…
This Asari woman standing in front of me… wasn't an offshoot of humanity or any other supernatural species like I had suspected. She was an actual freaking alien! My restaurant connected to a sci-fi universe with actual aliens and space travel!
Kick ass! Rias was going to lose her mind when she heard about this! Aela was probably going to wonder if any Aliens could put up a decent fight.
I was still processing the shock of it all when Tevos spoke again. "You seem awfully surprised to find all this out, Haru. Why is this all so shocking to you? Your restaurant is literally on the Citadel…"
I opened my mouth to explain—because of course this was shocking! The existence of Aliens was pure speculation in both my lifetimes!
But before I could, the front door swung open again. I turned toward the entrance, and my eyes lit up with recognition as a beautiful, lithe Japanese girl stepped inside. She was wearing an elegant kimono along with a few pieces of radiant jewelry. Her long black hair fell halfway down her back.
"Amy-chan!" I called out, grinning from ear to ear. "I've been wondering when you were going to show up. You missed my restaurant's grand opening!" I said while creating a small illusion of tears forming in my eyes.
"Don't even start with the fake tears." Amy pouted. "Yasaka has used that trick on me dozens of times already and I'm not falling for them anymore." Amy-chan blushed at me cutely. "...Sorry for missing your opening, Haru-kun. I lost track of time," she admitted while suddenly averting her eyes. "I was rewatching One Piece from start to finish and couldn't pull myself away from the TV until now…"
That sounded like something she would do. Amaterasu rarely took the spotlight anymore, most other factions assumed she was taking a step back from politics and allowing some of the other Gods in Takamagahara to take charge. Nope! She was just a NEET who kept losing track of time whenever she would start a new anime or video game…
I did some quick math in my head. One Piece has over 1100 episodes and each episode is around 24 minutes…
I stared at Amy-chan in disbelief. "Have you been staring at a TV screen for 18 days straight?" I asked her.
"N–No…" Amy-chan didn't sound very convincing when she said that.
Tevos stood up from her table with wide eyes. "18 days! We need to get this girl to a medical clinic immediately! How is she even alive!?"
That's when Amy-chan finally noticed there was someone else in the restaurant with us. Her eyes went wide when she spotted Councilor Tevos's very unique features. "Um… Hello?" Amy-chan said to the other woman. "Not to be rude, but what are you?"
Tevos's face scrunched up, probably over the fact that she was being asked that question two times in succession.
"She's an Alien from another planet. Her species is known as Asari," I said with a smirk.
"NANI!?" Amy-chan sputtered at me in disbelief. Her cool elegant demeanor immediately slipped away. "I cut off communication with the outside world for 18 days and there are aliens now!?"
"So you did stare at a TV for 18 days straight…" I gazed at her judgmentally. Even for a Goddess that technically doesn't need sleep, that can't be healthy, purely for her own sanity.
I felt a tiny bit of pain when Amy-chan kicked me in the shin. "Forget about that! I just want to know what is going on here!"
"I would also like to know," Tevos added. "I am very confused…"
– Lord Baby-Mort –
Lord Voldemort had suffered some humiliating defeats in the past, but nothing compared to his current situation. He had been reduced to inhabiting the body of an actual baby. The Dark Lord, who once inspired fear in all who heard his name, now had to rely on that pathetic excuse for a servant, Wormtail, for his every need. Whether it was being fed mush or—most degrading of all—being cleaned up after soiling himself, Voldemort endured it all in silence, his rage festering deep within.
Once he regained his body, he would Obliviate every single memory of these humiliating months!
"My Lord, I need to speak with you right away! I have urgent news!" The voice of Barty Crouch Jr. echoed through the small, dimly lit room.
Barty slipped inside, looking nervous. Nagini, coiled by Voldemort's crib, hissed at the intruder, her tongue flicking as if ready to strike. But she held back, knowing better than to attack without her master's orders.
Voldemort's blood-red eyes fixed on Barty. Even as a baby, his gaze was enough to make most men tremble. "Why are you here, Barty?" Voldemort asked in a high-pitched, squeaky voice he despised. The sound grated on him every time he spoke. "Don't you know how risky visiting me is at this stage in our plans?"
Barty flinched under Voldemort's gaze, and despite his current state, the Dark Lord found a small bit of amusement in the fear he still commanded.
"I'm sorry, my Lord," Barty stammered, bowing low. "But this is important! Something incredibly strange has happened at Hogwarts, and it concerns the Potter boy!"
At the mention of Harry Potter, Voldemort's small, frail body stiffened. His hatred for the boy was the one thing that kept him going through this indignity. "Speak, Barty," Voldemort commanded. "What news do you bring me?"
Barty swallowed hard before continuing. "My Lord, a strange restaurant has appeared in Hogsmeade. It's run by a magical beast of some kind! But that's not all. The restaurant has attracted even more powerful, strange beings to it! One of them... a vampire woman... has taken an interest in Potter and his mudblood friend. She's offered to take them on as magical apprentices."
Voldemort's tiny hands gripped the sides of his crib, his small fingers tightening into fists. "A vampire?" he hissed. "And Potter accepted?"
Barty nodded quickly. "Yes, my Lord. But it gets worse. Potter has shown remarkable growth in power under her tutelage. During the first task of the Triwizard Tournament, Potter—Potter used... WANDLESS LIGHTNING MAGIC to kill the dragon!"
Voldemort's breath caught in his throat, and if his infant body were capable of sweating, he might have felt it trickle down his forehead. He could scarcely believe what he was hearing. Harry Potter had managed to kill one of the most dangerous magical creatures in existence and didn't even need a wand to do it?
"What the fuck?" Voldemort muttered under his breath. When he was Potter's age, he was powerful, yes—but not even close to that powerful. And this had happened after only a few weeks of training under that vampire? What kind of ancient and terrifying being was she!?
Worse, what would Potter be capable of by the time the third task arrived?
Voldemort's mind raced. If Potter's growth continued unchecked, would Voldemort even be able to survive another duel with the teenager?
"We might need... a new plan," Voldemort admitted. "But before that, we need to know more about this mysterious restaurant." He turned his gaze back to Barty.
Barty swallowed nervously, avoiding Voldemort's gaze. "Apologies, my Lord... but, um... my persona as Mad-Eye Moody has been permanently banned from the restaurant. I can't return to investigate further..."
For a moment, the room was deadly silent. A scowl broke out on Voldemort's tiny face as his infant body shook with rage. He fumbled in his crib, desperately reaching for his wand, but it was just out of reach. A few bloody inches too far from his stubby fingers!
Barty, sensing the imminent danger, flinched back, waiting for the inevitable curse.
"You... incompetent fool," Voldemort spat, his high-pitched voice filled with venom. "You've failed me." His eyes burned with fury, but without his wand, Barty was safe from the Cruciatus—for now. "Contact Lucius," Voldemort finally hissed. "Bring him before me. We'll need to craft a new plan. And this time, Barty, do not fail me!"
Barty bowed low, trembling as he backed out of the room. "Yes, my Lord. Right away."
As Barty disappeared, Voldemort seethed in his crib.
"This restaurant and the magical beast have ruined my plans! This will not stand! I will have vengeance!" he declared. The Dark Lord vowed he would learn everything he could about this place—and when the time came, he would crush it, along with anyone who dared to stand in his way.
But first, he needed his body back…
"...Wormtail! I made a messy! Come and change me!" Voldemort yelled furiously.
XXX
Someone made a doodoo…
I had a couple people request that I add Frieren, and I don't mind, but it will probably take a couple chapters first.
I have a patreo n. My subs can read advanced updates of my stories ahead of standard release and vote on story polls.
Link:
Patreo n .com (slash) Starwaves