Chapter 14: A Party and a Space Hero
– Harry Potter –
Harry and Hermione hadn't been at The Fox Hole for the past few days. After Harry had completed the first task of the Triwizard Tournament, they had been drowning in schoolwork. They had skipped weeks of classes while training with Serana in Skyrim, and now Hermione, ever the diligent student, was determined to catch up. Harry technically didn't need to—Triwizard champions were exempt from schoolwork—but he couldn't abandon his new girlfriend to the pile of essays and assignments they had missed out on all by her lonesome.
The atmosphere at Hogwarts had been tense ever since Harry electrocuted a dragon to death during the task. Teachers and students alike seemed nervous around him, shooting wary glances his way whenever he passed through the corridors. Even Dumbledore had been acting strangely. The headmaster would stare at Harry during meals, and Harry found it more than a little creepy. The old man looked at him like he was already the next Dark Lord, waiting to seize the castle at the first opportunity and strike down Dumbledore...
Well, half of that was true at least.
Harry loathed Dumbledore after everything the headmaster had put him through, but he had no desire to be a Dark Lord or rule over magical Britain. After spending time in Skyrim, the idea of ruling over a place as small-minded as Britain seemed laughable. The witches and wizards, with all their potential, still somehow managed to limit themselves in almost every possible way.
"I mean, who spends seven years learning magic only to end up at a desk job in the Ministry?" Harry muttered under his breath, flipping through his Potions textbook and cursing Snape for assigning so many worthless essays.
Hermione glanced up from her essay, frowning slightly. "A lot of people. Not everyone has the option to be... well, you..."
"Exactly," Harry said, smirking a little. "Why waste all that magical training just to push papers for the rest of your life? You should be out there doing something incredible with your magic. Remember when you used to think the Ministry was the dream job?"
Hermione rolled her eyes, a faint blush creeping up her cheeks. "I was misguided."
"You mean Serana knocked some sense into you," Harry teased.
"She did not knock sense into me, Harry," Hermione protested, though her smile betrayed her. "She just… broadened my perspective."
Harry chuckled. "Broadened it, huh? How about we broaden it some more and get out of this stuffy castle. I need some good food." Harry complained as he stood up. Hermione thankfully agreed that they both needed a break from all the assignments and the two of them left the castle.
"Well, I'm just glad you're not aiming for some boring job managing cauldron thickness or sending threatening letters to children for accidental magic anymore." Harry said as they walked, continuing their conversation.
Hermione huffed, but her eyes sparkled with amusement. "Cauldron thickness is actually important, because scammers were selling thinner cauldrons to save money and potions across Britain were being sabotaged."
"Fair enough," Harry said, raising his hands in mock surrender. "But that's never going to be my problem. I want magic to be my focus, not paperwork." He glanced up at the overcast sky as they made their way through Hogsmeade. "After spending time in Skyrim, everything here just seems... small. Wizards don't even know how much more there is out there. Magic can do so much more than what they teach us at Hogwarts."
Hermione looked thoughtful, resting her chin on her hand. "You're right. There's so much untapped potential. It's a bit frustrating, really."
"Frustrating?" Harry grinned. "It's downright depressing. But at least we're free of it. We've got options."
Hermione smiled softly. "We do. And I'm grateful for that. It's just hard to believe sometimes, isn't it? How much has changed?"
Harry nodded, his thoughts drifting. Everything had changed for him, from his understanding of magic to his relationships.
Harry and Hermione arrived outside the doors of The Fox Hole.
"I can't wait to try some of Haru's cooking again," she said.
Harry nodded in agreement, his stomach growling at the thought. Haru's food was always incredible!
When they opened the doors, however, they were met with a scene that neither of them had expected. The place was packed, filled with laughter, shouting, and the clink of mugs. The lively crowd was celebrating enthusiastically, their boisterous cheers almost drowning out the music playing in the background. It was clear that another party was in full swing!
"Looks like Haru's throwing another party," Harry muttered, a bit of a pout forming on his lips. "Why didn't he invite us?"
Hermione chuckled, nudging him playfully. "It's probably another spur-of-the-moment thing, like last time. Besides, remember what Professor McGonagall said after the last party? She doesn't want either of us getting drunk again..."
Harry grimaced at the memory. The stern look McGonagall had given them the morning after was enough to make sure they wouldn't be getting into the mead again anytime soon. Still, he couldn't help but feel a little left out.
The restaurant was mostly filled with people from Skyrim, their hearty voices echoing off the walls as they knocked back cups of mead and cheered loudly about the four heroes who had slain dragons. Harry's ears perked up at that.
"Slaying dragons?" Harry raised an eyebrow, still unsure of what was going on. That's when he spotted someone familiar standing by the front door. Tanya, the 13-year-old girl they had gotten to know recently whenever she stopped by with Kunou. She was standing there with her arms crossed, looking like she was pouting about something.
"Hey, Tanya!" Hermione greeted with a friendly wave as they approached her.
Harry followed suit, giving her a small smile. "What's going on? Why's everyone celebrating?"
Tanya huffed, her cheeks puffed out slightly in irritation. "They're all celebrating because four dragons were slain before they could burn Whiterun to the ground."
"Four dragons at once?" Harry asked in surprise. "That explains the four heroes everyone's cheering about. Who killed the dragons? I'm guessing Agnar and probably Haru? Who else?"
Before Tanya could respond, a drunken Nord stumbled over to them, holding up his mug in a toast. "Hurray for the little dragon slayer!" he bellowed jovially in Tanya's direction before staggering away, laughing.
Tanya's pout deepened as she crossed her arms tighter, grumbling under her breath. "I'm not little!" she muttered, clearly annoyed by the Nord's comment.
"Wait," he said, putting two and two together. "You're one of the heroes, aren't you?"
Tanya shot him a glare. "Of course I am! I wanted to test out my new modern gun and keep Kunou from running off and fighting the dragon herself." She gave them a run down on everything that happened after she followed Kunou to Skyrim earlier…
She eventually ended the story by grumbling about how the soldiers paraded her up and down Whiterun multiple times, and wouldn't stop calling her anything except the "the little dragonslayer."
Harry and Hermione couldn't help but both chuckle at the nickname. Harry didn't think it was so bad compared to the other names students in Hogwarts had whispered behind his back over the years.
"You mentioned Kunou earlier?" Hermione asked Tanya. "Where is she?"
"She's sleeping off a sugar crash and a stomach ache in the back," Tanya explained while gesturing behind the bar. "Haru made a giant chocolate cake in the shape of a dragon and Kunou ended up eating almost her entire body weight in sugar… I'm pretty sure if she was human, she would be in the hospital right now." Tanya said while shaking her head.
"What is going on here!?"
Harry and Hermione both spun around when they heard a woman shout behind them.
– Commander Shepard –
"How does it feel being an official Spectre now, Shepard?" Ashley asked as they rode the painfully slow elevator down to the Presidium.
Commander Shepard shook her head, letting out a sigh. "It hasn't quite sunk in yet. I'm not even sure if this new position is anything more than a fancy title. Not with what Saren's up to."
"Being a Spectre will definitely have its perks," Garrus chimed in, crossing his arms. "You'll get access to the best intel and equipment in the galaxy. Might come in handy."
"And you can break a bunch of laws without getting in any trouble," Wrex added with a chuckle, his deep voice echoing in the cramped space. "Damn, this elevator is slow," he grumbled, glaring at the doors.
"Do you think the Protheans got motion sickness or something?" Ashley asked, smirking. "Every elevator based on their tech moves like molasses."
"That's as good a theory as any I've heard," Tali remarked, her voice muffled slightly by her helmet.
"You humans are always in such a hurry," Garrus said with a small laugh.
"I'm in a hurry to get a drink," Wrex muttered, casting an impatient glance at the floor indicator as it finally hit their stop. The doors slid open slowly, revealing the gleaming walkway of the Presidium. "Do you think I can get an actual decent drink around here?"
Shepard stepped out of the elevator, her thoughts trailing after Wrex's comment. She could use a drink herself. Tracking down Saren was going to be a long, dangerous mission, and she wasn't sure how many chances they'd get to unwind along the way. As she scanned the familiar surroundings, something caught her eye.
"Hey, what's that?" she asked, pointing across the artificial river that ran through the heart of the Presidium. "Was that place always there?"
Across the bridge, nestled between sleek Presidium towers, stood a building that seemed out of place. It had a warm, inviting glow, and a sign in both English and Japanese letters: The Fox Hole.
Shepard chuckled at the name. "We might as well check it out."
"Plus, Wrex is already halfway there," Ashley added with a smirk.
Shepard blinked in surprise. Sure enough, Wrex was already stomping his way across the bridge, his massive form surprisingly stealthy for a krogan. Shaking her head in amusement, she motioned for the others to follow and hurried after him, her team trailing behind.
As they approached the building, Tali tilted her head. "It looks like some kind of restaurant or bar. But I can't see anything through the windows."
Shepard tried peeking in, but Tali was right—there was something off about the glass. Shrugging, she pushed open the door.
The moment the door swung open, a wave of noise hit them. Inside, the place was packed with people, all drinking and celebrating as though it were the wildest night of their lives. Music blared, voices boomed in laughter and cheers, and the atmosphere felt utterly out of sync with the usual pristine calm of the Presidium.
Wrex's grin stretched wide as he looked around. "Finally! A place on this stuck-up station that's not for pansies! I bet they've got some real drinks in here."
Shepard stepped inside, her eyes scanning the room. The decor was warm, rustic, and inviting—like a mix between an old Earth tavern and something out of a fantasy novel. But what stood out the most were the three human children standing right by the front door.
She frowned. This was supposed to be a bar. There were people everywhere, and they were all clearly drinking alcohol. Kids shouldn't be anywhere near this.
"What the hell is going on here?" Shepard demanded, her voice sharp as she addressed the children. Two of them jumped in fright, but the third, a small blonde girl, barely glanced her way.
Shepard stared in bewilderment. "Isn't this a bar?" she asked, turning to her team.
"Sure looks like one," Garrus said, eyeing the crowd.
Tali tilted her head. "Maybe they allow families?"
"Kids in a bar?" Shepard shook her head, stepping closer to the children. "Hey, is there an adult here with any of you?" she asked the human kids.
"Um, no…?" the boy replied, his messy black hair falling into his bright green eyes behind round glasses. He sounded confused, as if sneaking into a bar wasn't what they were doing at all.
Shepard let out a deep sigh. It wasn't exactly how she imagined her evening going—dealing with kids in a bar wasn't on the agenda. She had just wanted a drink, not to play cop. She glanced over at Garrus, the ex-C-Sec officer, and had an idea. She could leave it all up to him. She was the leader of the team and she needed to start delegating anyway…
Garrus caught her playful look and sighed. "Alright, you three. Party's over," Garrus stepped forward, putting on his best authoritative tone. "You're coming with me." At least, that's what he thought would happen.
Just as he reached for the group, the cute blonde girl, who had been quiet up until now, calmly stood up. In one smooth motion, she pulled out an old-fashioned assault rifle and aimed it directly at Garrus' face.
"Touch us, and I'll blow your head off," the girl said, her voice cold and flat. Shepard's eyes widened in shock. This girl wasn't just some kid—there was something dangerous behind those blue eyes. This girl was a trained killer!
Before Shepard could react, Wrex burst into loud, booming laughter. "Hahaha! I didn't know human children were so awesome! What's your name, girl? I'm Urdnot Wrex, mercenary and badass Krogan."
The girl grinned, and for a second, her steely demeanor broke as she leaned her assault rifle against the wall. Garrus, still a little shaken, let out a small sigh of relief before giving Shepard a pleading look. Shepard waved him off, signaling for him to stand down.
The girl gave a sharp, almost military salute. "I am former Lieutenant Colonel Tanya Degurechaff. Now, I'm simply Tanya Degurechaff, bodyguard for Kunou-sama."
Shepard blinked in disbelief. 'Former Colonel? Bodyguard? What the hell is going on with this little girl?'
Before Shepard could process any of that, the boy with glasses snickered. "Don't forget little dragon slayer," he teased, earning him a swift kick to the shin from Tanya.
"Ow!" the boy yelped, rubbing his leg. "I'm Harry Potter," he said, introducing himself as if nothing had happened. "And this is Hermione Granger."
Shepard raised an eyebrow at that. It had been a while since she'd been back to Earth, but she still recognized British accents.
"You know," Ashley said, arms crossed, "kids aren't really supposed to hang out in bars."
"It's not usually a bar," Hermione explained, sounding a bit defensive. "Well, it is, but it's mostly a restaurant. Sometimes Haru throws wild parties, but none of us have had any drinks ourselves."
"I don't even like alcohol," Tanya added, matter-of-factly. "I only drink water and coffee."
Shepard shook her head, still trying to make sense of it all. "Is Haru the owner?"
The three kids nodded and pointed toward the bar. Shepard followed their gaze and had to do a double take. The man behind the bar was serving drinks and food to a rowdy group of partygoers. He was… handsome, to say the least, but that wasn't what truly caught Shepard's attention.
No, it was the fact that he looked like something straight out of an anime, with fox-like ears poking through his golden hair and multiple tails swishing behind him as he worked.
"Those ears and tails… they can't be real," Shepard muttered under her breath.
"They are," Harry said with a grin. "He's a kitsune. A fox Yokai. You'll all get used to it..." he said with a shrug.
"I've never heard of Kitsune," Tali said. What planet are they from?"
Shepard spared a glance with Ashley. They both knew the answer to that question and also knew it was impossible because Yokai weren't real. She was going to get to the bottom of whatever was going on in this strange restaurant. She was supposed to leave the Citadel soon to chase after Saren but she wasn't going anywhere until this was solved.
– Haru –
I stood behind the bar, grinning as the lively crowd celebrated. The noise was deafening, but it was the good kind of loud—the sound of people letting loose and enjoying themselves. Albedo was standing on top of a table, swaying slightly as she raised a large wooden mug of mead in the air. A little bit of it splashed down her white dress, but she didn't seem to care.
"I just wanna say—" Albedo began, her speech slurred, her face bright red from all the mead she'd consumed. "I always thought humans were lower life forms. But you guys… you guys are alright! Especially since you all can see how glorious Momonga—er, Ainz-sama is! Isn't he the best?!"
A chorus of cheers erupted from the drunken Nords around her, their mugs raised high as they echoed her sentiment. I couldn't help but chuckle when I saw Ainz—his skeletal face showing what I could only assume was embarrassment—facepalming at the spectacle. He kept trying to get Albedo off the table but the drunken Succubus wasn't having any of it. She stayed up their and kept giving speeches about how great and magnificent her darling Ainz was.
"I love you so much, Ainz-sama! You looked so cool when you killed that dragon! KANPAI!" Albedo shouted before downing the rest of her drink, the Nords cheering louder.
Agnar had been right—Whiterun's people had come to accept Ainz and the undead, especially after he saved them from one of the dragons that had attacked the city. It didn't hurt that Albedo, in her own way, was charming them with her enthusiasm.
I scanned the rest of the bar, wondering what other chaos was unfolding. It didn't take long for me to spot another commotion.
"How dare you steal the last piece of chocolate cake! Haru was saving that for me!" Aela's voice rang out as she drunkenly dove forward, tackling Agnar to the floor in a blur of movement. The two of them rolled around, wrestling like children, their laughter mixing with the shouts of those egging them on.
Serana rushed over, exasperated, trying to pull them apart. "Aela, Agnar—seriously, get up! You're going to hurt yourselves!"
I couldn't help but chuckle at the scene, leaning against the bar. When in doubt, always cheer for your girlfriend. "Kick his ass, Aela!" I called out.
Aela, who was clearly drunk but not as far gone as Agnar, threw a triumphant fist into the air. "I shall best the dragonborn this night!"
Serana shot me an annoyed glare, clearly not amused that I wasn't helping her break it up. I shrugged back at her.
I couldn't help anyway, there were more customers to deal with, and besides, Aela had things under control. Probably…
A striking redhead slid onto one of the few empty barstools at the bar. Her very form fitting armor was clearly futuristic, and she was absolutely armed to the teeth. I spotted at least four guns and even more grenades around that slender waist.
I had kept my drinking under control tonight, but that didn't mean I hadn't had a few, and before I could stop myself, the words flew out of my mouth. "Well, hello there, beautiful. Welcome to The Fox Hole. I'm Haru, the owner. What can I get for you?"
The redhead pursed her lips, her sharp gaze scanning the room. "Do you know there are children here? Kids aren't allowed in bars under Citadel law."
Ah, she was from the space dimension then. I wondered if she was some kind of law enforcement, given how serious she sounded. I was about to respond when another woman—a pretty, Hispanic girl—sat down next to her at the counter, eyeing me curiously. She had the air of someone who had seen her fair share of battles, much like the redhead.
I gave her the same greeting, though with a little less flirtatiousness this time. "Welcome to The Fox Hole. What can I get you…um?"
The Hispanic woman nodded curtly. "I'm Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, Alliance military," she introduced herself.
The redhead gave me a measured look. "Commander Shepard. Same deal, except I'm also a council Spectre!"
It looked like I was dealing with military types. I straightened up a bit, trying to take them more seriously. "Nice to meet you both. And yes, I'm aware there are kids here. None of them will be getting alcohol…this time."
A trio of aliens soon joined the two Systems Alliance soldiers at the bar, their presence unmistakable. One of them, the largest, grinned toothily at me. "Give me the strongest shit you have, furry human!" the massive alien, who called himself Urdnot Wrex, declared with a gravelly voice.
I shrugged, hiding a grin as I reached for my special stash. Wrex didn't know what he was getting himself into. I poured him a blend of Kappa Sake, known for its potency, and some Firewhisky I'd picked up in Hogsmeade. The glass I handed him was the size of a pitcher—sized appropriately for a Krogan, who claimed to have an iron stomach. But this? This would knock him flat.
"The name's Haru, not 'furry human,'" I said with a wink. "Welcome to The Fox Hole, Wrex."
Wrex took the glass and started downing the drink like a man on a mission. After a few hefty gulps, he choked for a second, his eyes widening. Then he let out a booming laugh. "Now that's some good shit right there! I like you, Haru!"
The other two aliens introduced themselves, clearly not wanting to be left out of the conversation. Tali, the Quarian in the containment suit, explained that she couldn't eat or drink due to her suit's strict filtration system, which was a shame. Meanwhile, Garrus, the turian, didn't order anything at all. He simply sat at the bar, arms crossed, throwing me the occasional distrustful look.
Once I finished handling the trio of aliens, I turned my attention back to the two women, Ashley and Shepard, who were watching everything unfold with growing confusion.
"What the hell is this place?" Ashley asked, her voice rising with a mix of awe and suspicion. She gestured to the room, her eyes jumping from one oddity to another. "Why does that woman over there have horns and wings? And is that… is that a giant cat person? Also, holy shit—there's a guy who's just a straight-up skeleton!"
I could tell they were both overwhelmed, so I leaned in with a smile, ready to give them the same rundown I'd given countless other new customers…
"This restaurant is technically located in another dimension. It's its own sovereign territory aboard the Citadel, approved by the Council, of course."
Shepard looked at me like I'd just told her the moon was made of cheese. "You're saying the Council approved… this?" She gestured at the wild scene around us, clearly skeptical. It was understandable—most people needed some time to digest it.
"Yep," I replied, unfazed. "Councilor Tevos is actually a regular here. She usually stops by for lunch when things are a bit quieter."
Shepard blinked, staring at me like I'd grown a second head. "I don't fucking believe this…" She rubbed her temple as I poured her a shot of whiskey. "I thought the galaxy was already crazy enough."
Ashley, on the other hand, seemed to be wrestling with a different kind of disbelief. As we got a few drinks in her, she loosened up and leaned across the bar, narrowing her eyes at me. "You know, as some kind of… pagan demon, I'm supposed to hate you," she mumbled, swirling her drink. "If you're actually whatever you say you are."
I chuckled, leaning casually against the bar. "I've met Gabriel before, and she didn't seem to hate me. Why should you?"
That got Shepard's attention. She raised an eyebrow at me. "Gabriel who?" she asked, before knocking back another shot.
"The archangel Gabriel, of course," I said casually. That's when Shepard immediately started choking on her whiskey, coughing and sputtering as she processed what I'd just said.
Ashley's eyes lit up like fireworks. "Wait, the actual archangel Gabriel? The one from the Bible!?" she asked, her tone a mix of excitement and disbelief.
"The very same," I confirmed, watching as they both stared at me.
"Isn't Gabriel supposed to be a man?" Ashley asked. She then started fiddling with her Omni-tool and pulled up an electronic copy of the Bible. Yeah, she was one of those people.
"Probably a mistranslation…" I shrugged.
Before I could explain anything further, a loud bang echoed from the entrance. The doors slammed open, and five men in black robes, wearing silver masks, stormed into the restaurant. I immediately recognized them as wizards because of their glowing wands.
"Alright, you disgusting creature! We're here to teach you a lesson on behalf of Lucius Malfoy!" the lead wizard declared, his voice full of arrogance.
Before anyone could react, one of the masked men behind him smacked him on the back of the head. "What the hell, you moron! You're not supposed to tell people that! He told us to be discreet when he hired us!"
"Discreet?" The leader spun around, clearly irritated, and the two began arguing. "Then why the hell did that rich arse give us these Death Eater robes if we were supposed to be discreet?"
The second man groaned. "He wanted us to send a message—that freaks aren't allowed to open businesses in Hogsmeade. In fact, the freaks should just go and die!"
The others nodded in agreement.
I could feel the anger simmering in the room as the masked men turned their attention back to us, ready to cause trouble. But what they didn't seem to notice right away was that they had just walked into a restaurant full of many very large, very drunk Nords, a powerful Overlord with his drunken succubus mistress, and some very dangerous new customers.
One of those customers being Wrex, a Krogan. Wrex growled, standing up slowly, his imposing frame casting a shadow over the wizards. "I don't know who you chuckle-fucks are, but you're not walking out of here in one piece."
Shepard, who had been watching the scene unfold, raised an eyebrow and turned to me. "Who are these idiots, Haru?"
I shrugged casually. "Just some dumb, racist wizards. They're harmless as long as they don't have their magic sticks on them," I told her.
Shepard smirked and waved her hand, glowing blue with biotic energy. With a quick flick, she ripped the wands out of the masked men's hands as if they were nothing more than twigs. The wands floated through the air and landed neatly in her grip before she tossed them onto the counter.
"Actual magic wands," Shepard snorted in amusement. "Who would've thought this is how my first day as a Spectre would go…"
The masked men froze, their bravado immediately replaced by fear. They glanced around, suddenly realizing the very large, angry, and heavily armed crowd they had just insulted. The room fell silent for a moment as the wizards slowly started backing toward the door, trembling.
"Uh... we might have made a mistake," one of them muttered.
It only took one drunken Nord to shout, "Get them!" before the entire bar exploded into chaos. The Nords dogpiled onto the wizards, pummeling them to the ground without mercy. Even Wrex joined in, laughing heartily as he sent one of the masked men flying across the room with a single punch.
The wizards screamed, but it was drowned out by the laughter, shouts, and cheers of the crowd. The beating they received was so thorough, I was pretty sure their ancestors would be reconsidering their life choices.
XXX