Chapter 17: An Elf and a Chewtoy
– Haru –
Today was quieter than usual—most of my regulars knew I'd be closing early. The morning crowd included Councilor Tevos and a few of her Asari friends, chatting over breakfast, but now the place had emptied out.
The door opened, and in walked Harry Potter. The 14-year-old looked way different than the scrappy kid I first met over a month ago. Now, thanks to Serana's intense training, he had a sharper look about him, a healthier complexion, and a quiet confidence lurking in his eyes. He strolled over to the counter and plopped himself onto a stool.
"Give me the fish and chips, Haru," he ordered with a grin.
"Coming right up, kid," I said, moving to the fryer. It didn't escape my notice that Hermione wasn't tagging along. Usually, the two were joined at the hip. Everyone always thought it was adorable. "Where's Hermione today?" I asked while setting the fish to fry.
Harry rolled his eyes but smiled. "She's doing an extra credit essay for McGonagall's class. What's the point when she's already at the top of the year? If it was extra magic practice I could understand, but who wants to spend their Saturday writing a 5 ft long paper on the potential dangers of letting people drink from a teapot that used to be a toad..."
I chuckled at that. Transfiguration always seemed like a wild branch of magic to me, but I never really saw its practical purpose considering it wasn't permanent. If anything, it was the best branch of magic for Assassins because they could transfigure a cup full of poison into a cup of wine, and their victims wouldn't even realize it until after it had turned back in their stomach…
As I plated up his order, Harry leaned in. "So… I heard you're going up against Rias's ex-fiancé and his harem later today?"
I snorted, trying not to outright laugh. "Yep, the arrogant flaming chicken challenged me himself. If he wants to get his ass kicked on live TV in front of the whole supernatural world, who am I to say no?" That's not counting the fact that I couldn't say no even if I wanted to. "Of course, any of my regulars are free to come watch or even place some bets for easy money. Rias is going to allow all of us to use her teleportation circle to get to the underworld."
Harry was practically bouncing on his stool. "Blimey! I'm definitely placing a load of galleons on you to win." He grinned. "I can use those, right? They're solid gold, after all."
At that, I let out a groan, my tails swaying in slight irritation as I slapped my forehead. "Right… I've been meaning to talk to you about that, Harry, but it kept slipping my mind. Here's the thing, all those gold coins you've been paying with are fake…"
"What…?" Harry blinked, clearly thinking I was joking at first. But when I didn't laugh, his face turned to one of pure shock. "All my gold is fake!? My parents left me that money! How!? The goblins run the entire economy! Where did all of my money go!?"
I shrugged. "Who knows? There's a reason goblins are always the bad guys in video games and stories. Shifty little bastards. They probably swapped out the real gold for fake over the years and pocketed your actual wealth."
Harry looked down at his galleons, brow furrowed. "But… wizards have trusted the goblins for centuries. Are you telling me they've just been… robbing us this whole time?"
"Seems that way. They probably did it so gradually that no one even noticed. Think about it: they control the only wizarding bank, mint the currency, and handle all the exchanges."
I placed Harry's order of fish and chips on the counter, and the kid dug in, but I could tell he wasn't thrilled. Learning that all the money his parents had left him was essentially worthless had really knocked the wind out of him.
As he ate, I continued wiping down the counter, my mind turning over the best way to handle this. Finally, I leaned over and said, "Look, Harry, here's what you should do. Just… slowly start withdrawing your money from Gringotts, bit by bit, in regular British pounds. Don't take it all at once, or the goblins might catch on. Spread it out over the next few months, and you should be able to get all your money back without them noticing."
Harry looked up, a thoughtful expression settling on his face as he chewed. "That… that could work." He nodded, a little more confidence returning to his eyes. "You're really smart, Haru."
I laughed and waved him off. "Nah, I just know a good scheme when I see one. Played enough games, watched enough TV dramas… you get the idea."
He managed a small smile, but I could still see the disappointment lingering on his face. "Guess this means I can't place an easy bet."
I sighed in relief, shaking my head. "Good thing I caught you before you did. The Devils wouldn't have taken kindly to being scammed, even if you didn't know."
Harry polished off another bite. "So, who are you bringing as your second for the fight? And since I can't bet, then you've gotta let me fight!"
I raised an eyebrow, amused at his offer. "Kid, you've gotten better, I'll give you that. But you're not ready to face Riser's whole crew yet," I said before tapping my chin in thought. Or was he? Nah, he could probably handle all of Riser's pawns by himself but I dont think Harry would be able to beat any of the other pieces quite yet. Most of Riser's peerage were useless and only there because they were hot girls, but a couple of them could actually fight. I told Harry that I was probably just going to fight alone. Having someone with me wasn't going to make a difference regardless.
"Lame…" Harry groaned.
I was just about to head to the door and flip the sign from "open" to "closed" when the door swung open, and a new face walked in.
"Whoa!" Harry exclaimed. "Is that an actual Elf?!"
I looked over, and sure enough, the girl who walked in looked like she had stepped right out of some high fantasy novel. Silver hair in twin tails, ears so long and pointy you could probably hang Christmas lights off them—they were hard to miss. She was cute in a way that was almost ethereal, but her expression was blank as she scanned the room. Her gaze landed on me, specifically on my tails and ears, and I caught her eyeing me with the kind of look you give when you can't figure out what exactly you're looking at. After a second, she shrugged and made her way over to the counter, dropping herself onto the stool next to Harry.
"I would like some food," she said in the most monotone voice I'd heard in a long while.
I couldn't help but chuckle. "Sure thing. I'll whip something up for you." She didn't look like she'd care what she ate, so I figured I'd keep it simple—vegetable fried rice, just in case she was one of those elves who couldn't stand the thought of eating an animal.
As I tossed some veggies into the pan, I heard Harry clearing his throat, clearly trying to strike up a conversation with the new girl.
"H–Hi there! I'm Harry Potter," he said, a bit awkwardly. "You're new here, right? To the Fox Hole I mean?"
"Yes," she replied, giving him a blank stare. "I have never been to this establishment before. My name is Frieren…" she trailed off and didn't say anything more.
"Frieren…" Harry repeated. "Are you… you know… an Elf?"
Frieren just blinked at him. "Yes. I am an Elf. What gave it away?" I could detect a tiny bit of sarcasm in her monotone voice.
"Er–" I had to bite back a laugh as Harry did his best to not say it was her ears. "So… where are you from?" Harry tried again to strike up some kind of conversation with her.
"Far away," She didn't offer anything more, just stared blankly at Harry like she was waiting for him to say something interesting. Harry let out a sigh and sent me a pleading look to take over.
I set her plate of vegetable fried rice in front of her. "Here you go—something light, no meat, just in case you elves don't eat that."
Frieren eyed the dish, gave a slight nod, and started to dig in. Her bored expression quickly faded away the more mouthfuls of rice she ate. "...This is very good." she said after quickly cleaning up half her plate. Frieren didn't take long to finish up her fried rice, practically inhaling it without breaking that stoic expression of hers. When she was done, she surprised me by flashing a small smile. "Your cooking… it's very good," she said.
"Glad you liked it," I said, grinning. Always nice to know I'd won over another customer.
She stared at me for a moment, eyes narrowing slightly as she took in my ears and tails. Then, blunt as a brick, she asked, "What exactly are you? I don't think you're a demon—I've never heard of a demon capable of cooking before. Well… unless they're cooking humans."
I grimaced. "Uh, yeah, humans are not on the menu here..."
I introduced myself to her as a Kitsune Yokai, although judging by her expression, that meant nothing to her. Obviously, she didn't have Yokai in her dimension. I then gave her the usual spiel about her stumbling into a restaurant that connects numerous dimensions together.
Her eyes widened slightly, showing the most interest she'd shown since stepping in here. "Other dimensions… My master once speculated about such possibilities, but no mage has ever been able to prove it. Not even Serie…" she muttered, almost to herself. Her gaze shifted back to me, sharper now. "How did you set all of this up? You would have to be an incredible mage to do so. And why a restaurant of all things?"
I chuckled, crossing my arms as I leaned on the counter. "What, you don't think cooking is a respectable line of work? I like what I do. I love feeding hungry people and giving them a place to relax. Also, I set up this restaurant, but I'm not the one who connected it to other dimensions. We're still in the process of figuring out who did that."
Frieren's long, pointy ears gave a little twitch. She looked at me seriously, like she was trying to teach a lesson. "Operating in a building enchanted by an unknown mage or goddess is foolish," she said flatly.
I just shrugged and gave her a wistful smile. "Maybe. But whoever set this place up did a damn good job. So far, only decent folks have walked through that door—" Well, except for that one time with Being X. I leaned forward with a grin. "So, what about you, Frieren? Should I be worried? Are you secretly a bad person?"
The look on her face was priceless—almost offended. "Hardly," she replied, her voice bland but with a hint of edge. "I was part of the hero's party. We're the ones who defeated the Demon King."
Now, I had no idea who this Demon King was or why she'd been part of this "hero's party," but it sounded like she'd had quite the adventure. "Well, that's one hell of an accomplishment," I said, reaching under the counter for the jar of chocolate chip cookies I'd made earlier. I held one out to her with a grin. "Here. Have a cookie to celebrate."
She stared at the cookie like it was a foreign object, then sighed, looking at me with the faintest hint of a pout. But, of course, she took it anyway, nibbling on it as she scanned the restaurant. After a moment, she looked back at me. "Has business been slow?" she asked, glancing at the empty tables around us.
"Nah," I said, shaking my head. "All my regulars know I'll be closing early today. I've got a fight lined up with an irritating devil, so they'll probably show up later if they want a front-row seat. We'll be heading down to the underworld for it."
Her brows furrowed slightly, and she paused mid-nibble. "Underworld…?" she repeated, clearly confused about what I was talking about.
…
A couple hours later, we made it to the underworld, along with everyone who wanted a front-row seat to this showdown. The teleportation circle dropped us right in the heart of the Gremory mansion, where Rias and her family lived whenever she wasn't kicking around in the human world.
No sooner had we stepped in than Rias zeroed in on Frieren, her eyes lighting up. "Please join my Peerage!" she practically shouted, barely giving the Elf a second to process that we'd arrived.
Frieren, to my surprise, had actually been interested in tagging along. She looked at Rias with her usual blank stare, clearly unimpressed, and said nothing.
But Rias didn't stop there. She spun around to Naruto and Naruko and hit them with the same offer. This was probably the fiftieth time in three days that she'd tried to recruit the ninja twins, and the fiftieth time she got turned down. They'd been polite enough about it, but once they'd found out what joining her peerage actually involved, it was a hard no from them, much to her disappointment.
Rias's shoulders slumped, but she quickly turned her focus back to Frieren. The Elf crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing slightly. "You might not be a demon," Frieren said flatly, "but I still don't like the aura of your mana."
I was pretty sure that was the Elf equivalent of telling Rias to fuck off, and I had to fight down a smirk.
Rias pouted, then looked over at me, eyes brightening as she walked up and wrapped me in a tight hug. She felt sinfully soft pressed against me, and I could practically feel her pout melting into a smile. "I'm sorry Riser is such an asshole and is forcing you to fight him," she muttered against my chest. "I offered to take him on myself, you know—my brother's actually been giving me some lessons—but he just seems to really hate you specifically."
"Can you blame him?" I said, smirking as she let me go. "I'm the better-looking blonde, and my blue flames are just plain cooler than his basic red ones. Plus I have you in my arms."
She grinned back. "Damn right you do. Also, you're right, everyone knows blue fire looks way cooler in anime than red fire!" Rias was a true woman of culture.
"Are you sure I can't fight with you, Haru?" Harry grumbled.
"Wait, we can fight with Haru?" Naruto perked up, turning to me. But before he could get another word out, Naruko smacked him on the back of the head.
"Moron," she hissed, rolling her eyes. "The Hokage ordered us not to get in any fights. We're just here to observe other dimensions, remember?"
"Fine…" Naruto huffed. Sharing the same disappointed look as Harry.
Apparently, the Hokage Tsunade wanted to meet with me personally, but she'd been holding off till after my duel. It seemed that duels held a pretty high status in the ninja world, treated with a kind of respect reserved for real, head-to-head battles. I was starting to get why no one ever jumped in during those legendary fights, like Madara and Hashirama going at it. They were sacred events, and no interference was allowed.
Agnar clapped me on the shoulder with his usual enthusiasm. "My friend! Why did you not mention that part to me!? I would happily join you in this glorious battle to defend your woman's honor!"
I snorted, looking around at the eager faces of everyone. They all would have jumped to help me if I asked. Especially the Nords. Even Aela was even muttering something about "how dare some prissy milk drinker try to take her future sister!"
Rias squealed at being called that and ran over to hug Aela next!
"Sorry to disappoint, everyone, but this isn't gonna be a 'glorious battle.' It's gonna be me, wiping the floor with a glorified peacock in front of millions of viewers…"
"MILLIONS!?" Everyone blurted out at once.
"Only a couple hundred people came to watch me fight a dragon…" Harry mumbled.
"Er–on second thought. I'm sure you shall be fine my friend." Agnar said nervously. Serana started chuckling at him and saying it was cute that her Dragonborn suddenly had stage fright.
There was a knock at the door and a second later Sirzechs Lucifer, my future brother in law, along with his maid wife Grayfia walked in. "It's time for the duel Haru-sama." Grayfia infomed me…
– Frieren –
Frieren squinted at the arena below, wondering if her student, Fern, would even believe half of what she'd experienced today. Even she was having a hard time digesting it all, and she'd been alive for a thousand years.
Just that morning, she'd stumbled upon a random restaurant in the city. It was owned by a whole new sentient species she'd never heard of before—Kitsune, Haru called himself. Whatever a Kitsune was, it was powerful, or more maybe it was just Haru? The blond fox had enough raw power that he could probably conquer any country in her world single handedly if he felt like it. Usually, people with that kind of power live more violent lifestyles. But no—this Kitsune had opened a restaurant instead.
She had to admit, that choice alone intrigued her. And his cooking? It was absurdly good. Better than any food she'd had in her entire life, which was saying something given she'd been around for a literal millennium.
Without much thought, she'd followed Haru when he'd invited her to some unknown location to watch him duel a man he kept referring to as a "flaming chicken." Apparently, the duel was over a girl, Frieren figured Himmel would have found that amusing if he was still alive.
In hindsight, maybe teleporting somewhere she'd never been with a complete stranger hadn't been her wisest decision, but well, she'd taken bigger risks in her long life. She was also a pretty good judge of character, although Fern might argue that, and she didn't sense anything wrong with Haru.
The woman he was about to duel over on the other hand? Well, that was a different story. Rias Gremory, she called herself. Rias had this kind of unnatural beauty, like demons back home, and a dark mana that clung around her like a fog. Frieren watched her carefully at first, having thought she might be a demon in disguise, but Rias acted far too human to be one. Demons were creatures that couldn't understand emotions.
Then there was Haru's crowd of other friends or customers or whatever they were. She'd met plenty of odd folks in her life, but this group was certainly special. Each one of them had some level of power, even the kid, Harry. Only fourteen and already nearly as skilled as Fern had been at his age. Coming from her, that was high praise, since she considered Fern a once-in-a-generation genius…
Frieren's thoughts were interrupted by a loud, commanding voice echoing over the arena. "The duel between Riser Phenex and his peerage vs. Haru will now commence!" The silver-haired maid stood alone in the center of the massive arena, her voice amplified across the coliseum using some kind of magic. Haru and Riser's faces appeared on two large screens around the stadium as the crowd of hundreds of thousands roared in anticipation.
"This reminds me of the chunin exams," the blond young man with whisker marks on his cheeks said while moving closer to the glass to get a better look at the arena below. "Hi there, I'm Naruto Uzumaki! I'm from Konoha."
"I am Frieren, and I'm not really from anywhere," she replied. "...Have you known Haru for long?" she asked curiously.
Naruto shook his head as the girl who was most likely his sister also walked over. "Nah, we only met Haru three days ago, but we've been eating at his restaurant every single day!"
"It's nice," the red haired girl, who also had whisker marks, added. "Haru's restaurant is one of the few places in the village where no one discriminates against us. Even when we're eating at Ichiraku's, we still have to deal with glares from other customers or people walking past his ramen stand."
Frieren tugged on her hair a bit. She was familiar with discrimination despite usually ignoring it. Many humans were jealous of her innate magical power or natural longevity as an Elf.
"Haru's place is much better though," Naruko said.
"Aye, lass, Haru is a good man," Agnar said, striding over with a confident grin. "Don't let his chef act fool you. He's a mighty warrior too—slayed a dragon in single combat to protect my people back home in Whiterun."
Frieren raised an eyebrow, genuinely impressed. She'd sensed Haru's strength just from standing near him, but to hear he'd killed a dragon in single combat? That wasn't a feat just anyone could boast.
"That's right! My big brother is the best!" piped up a young voice right next to her, causing Frieren to flinch slightly. She hadn't sensed anyone approaching, which was no small feat. Frieren turned to see a little blonde girl with the same fox ears and golden tails as Haru, her bright eyes staring up at her with unabashed curiosity.
The girl tilted her head. "Are you a new friend of Haru's? Or are you one of his new girlfriends?"
"Neither?" Frieren replied, more like a question than a statement. She cleared her throat, trying to regain her usual composure. "I've only known your brother for an hour…"
"I'm Kunou!" the girl said brightly, her tails swishing. "And that's okay—you'll learn just how awesome my big bro is soon enough!"
"Indeed she will, little sister," Aela chimed in, giving Kunou a bemused smile. "But where's your guard, Tanya? Weren't you supposed to be with your mother and Rias's family in the private booth?"
Kunou glanced to the side, looking just a little guilty. "They were talking about boring politics, so I snuck out," she admitted. "Tanya will probably catch up soon. She's been… kind of distracted since her girlfriend Viktoriya showed up…" She shrugged, as if this were common knowledge.
There was a lot to unpack in that little confession, but Frieren didn't have a chance to process it because Kunou suddenly bounced on her heels, squealing with excitement. "Oooo, the fight's starting!"
Frieren turned along with everyone else to face the arena. There stood Haru, looking perfectly at ease, his nine golden tails swaying behind him as he faced down his opponent. Across from him was a smug-looking devil with slicked-back blond hair, who Frieren assumed must be Riser. He was flanked by a small army of women in strange, mismatched outfits—clearly his peerage, if she understood how these devil clans worked.
– Haru –
I cracked my knuckles, feeling a smirk tugging at my lips as I stood in the middle of the arena, facing off against Riser Phenex and his peerage.
"There you are, you damn Yokai!" I could feel the disdain rolling off him. "How did a filthy animal like you seduce my darling Rias away from me!?"
I raised an eyebrow. "First of all, dude, that's straight-up racist," I shot back. "Second, you literally have two Yokai girls in your peerage, and yep, they're both glaring at you right now." Riser's twin cat girls were both giving him looks that could kill for calling a Yokai a filthy animal. "And third, you're a dickhead..."
Laughter rippled through the audience at that one. Riser's face twisted into something nasty as he registered the mockery echoing around us.
"You will not humiliate me with such crass language!" He spat, and then his expression changed to a sneer. "Riser offered you the chance to bring a warrior of your choosing to fight alongside you, but it seems you're looking down on Riser!"
"Yeah," I deadpanned. "I am looking down on you. Figured that was obvious by now."
That really got to him. Flames shot up around him, he probably thought it made him look intimidating, but he just looked like a kid throwing a tantrum with his magic fire.
"Get him, girls!" he screamed. His whole peerage charged at me at once.
"Aw, a team effort," I laughed. "Cute."
The first ones to rush me were Riser's two knights—twin girls swinging their swords from opposite directions. It was a well-coordinated attack, I'll give them that, and they weren't slow. But speed only gets you so far when you're lacking in the power department.
Two of my tails shot out instinctively, blocking their blades before they even got close. The metal clanged uselessly against my fur, and the looks on their faces were priceless—total shock, like they couldn't believe they couldn't cut through it. They staggered, thrown off balance, and that's when I wrapped my tails around their throats. They kicked and struggled, but my grip was as solid as steel.
"Sorry about this," I said with a shrug, giving them a once-over. They were pretty, at least, so I had to give Riser credit for taste... well, except for the few suspiciously young ones in his lineup, which was just creepy. "Maybe you two should find someone better to work for."
With a flick of my tails, I snapped their necks in unison. Their bodies faded into light, a mercy of the arena's enchantments preventing any real harm.
"Two of Riser's rooks have been retired," Grayfia's voice rang out across the arena.
"Damn you!" Riser's angry yell echoed from the back. He was fuming, and I could practically feel the heat from where I stood. The rest of his peerage froze, staring at me with fear flickering in their eyes.
"I knew this was a stupid idea!" Ravel Phenex wailed, looking up at her brother, panic clear on her face. "It's not exactly a secret that Prince Haru is Ultimate Class! We never stood a chance!"
"Quiet, little sister!" Riser barked, glaring at her. "That's obviously just propaganda spread by the pathetic yokai to make them seem stronger! What are you all waiting for? Attack him together!" he roared at his team.
Eight pawns scrambled toward me, all of them rushing from the front like they thought numbers alone could overwhelm me. None of them looked particularly impressive, but they all seemed nervous enough to follow orders.
I raised my right palm, pointing at the group as they closed in. "Foxfire," I called out casually, and a wave of blue flames erupted from my hand, sweeping over them. The girls barely had time to scream before they were engulfed in flames, their bodies disintegrating into light. The audience went wild, cheering louder, and I smirked, knowing I'd just knocked out half his team in one blow.
"All of Riser's pawns have retired," Grayfia announced, her voice even but with a hint of impatience, like she'd rather be anywhere else.
I took a small jump back, feeling a rumble beneath my feet just in time for the ground to explode. Dust and debris shot up around me, but I glanced up, already knowing who was responsible.
Floating high in the air was Yubelluna, Riser's so-called "Bomb Queen." She looked down at me with a smirk as she prepared another blast. "You can't beat me if you can't fly!" she taunted, hurling another explosion my way.
I rolled my eyes. Did she seriously think yokai couldn't fly just because we don't have wings? I summoned blue flames around my feet and leapt high into the air, flames propelling me higher and higher until I hit the peak of my jump—and then jumped again, using the supernatural fire as a springboard.
Yubelluna's smirk faltered, her eyes widening in shock. She started chucking magic bombs left and right, desperate to hit me, but it was like dodging slow-motion water balloons. I kicked off the air, flames trailing around me, moving effortlessly through the sky as if it were solid ground. I closed the gap between us in a heartbeat and brought my foot down with a flaming kick to her face. She let out a shriek as my heel connected, and I watched her spiral downward, crashing hard into the arena floor below.
"Riser Phenex's queen has been retired," Grayfia's voice echoed, sounding almost bored.
Riser clenched his fists, his face twisting with rage as he watched his team fall one by one. The guy looked about ready to burst a vein. "This isn't over! Riser will not be humiliated like this!"
I landed back on the ground. Riser was down to his two rooks and bishops, one of which was his sister who I knew wasn't actually a fighter. The other three girls really looked like they didn't want to fight me.
"Fuck!" Riser cursed, looking ready to explode. "Riser will do it himself!" he snarled, sticking to his weird third-person routine.
Then, with a flare of fiery red wings, he shot into the air, his flames roaring like a jet engine as he powered toward me.
Perfect. I'd been waiting for this. I smirked and gathered my energy, letting blue fire swirl up around me, forming a blazing ring that quickly expanded. When the flames dissipated, the ground beneath me was scorched black, and I'd transformed into my full, towering form—a 30-foot-tall, nine-tailed golden fox. My tails whipped around behind me, stirring up the dust and casting huge shadows across the arena.
"Oh, fuck!" This time, Riser's curse came out in a panicked whisper, and he actually had the sense to look scared. Too bad for him that he'd already committed to his charge, and he was heading straight for me with no way to stop.
If foxes could smirk, I definitely would have been. As it was, I let my jaws open wide and, with a quick snap, caught him midair like a fox catching a bird. My teeth sank in, and I felt his pathetic flailing as he screamed.
"Let go of me! Aaaahhh!" Riser's screeches were music to my ears as I clamped down, giving him a good crunch before releasing and biting down again. His Phenex healing kicked in every time, so he didn't stay injured for long, but that just meant I had a fresh, unharmed Riser to chew on again and again.
He started trying to torch me from the inside, but I barely felt it. Fire? Really? I breathed fire…
I chomped down over and over, savoring each yelp and scream that escaped him. Riser wasn't just in pain—he was humiliated, every bite a reminder that he was nothing more than a harmless chew toy to me.
"Brother… maybe you should just surrender already?" Ravel called out from the sidelines, looking a little green as she watched me turn her brother into fox kibble.
"Never! Aaahhhh!" Riser screamed again, his defiance dripping with desperation. Each time I chomped down, he howled, more pitiful than the last, his voice cracking as he realized there was no end in sight…
Meh, he'd give up when he ran out of magic to regenerate or the humiliation got to him first. In the meantime, I was having fun with this. I didn't even have to taste any nasty blood because his body was basically made of living flames.
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