Hi, first chapters had more than necessary inner monologue that disturbed the pace, noticed this and fixed in later chapters(went a little overboard with expressing Ian/Nai confusion)

Also first novel, just got inspired from reading my faves. Bound to make mistakes, I know. Well if anyone ever reads this, critiscism to writing structure and such are welcomed.

Let's go, excited(is writer's block this early normal? At ch 11 writing this)