I got up from my seat, my burger half eaten as I walked towards the door. She got up and grabbed on to my arm before I was able to leave.
"We can just wait, you know."
"Oh ya and be friends for 2 years? No thank you"
"oh come on you can't wait for 2 years? Are you that impatient? Or maybe you just can't hold yourself back?"
"What? I wasn't even thinking about that goddamn it."
My first date had gone south seems like life wanted me to live a bit more just so I could suffer in this embarrassing situation- the whole McDonalds looking at us with disgusted eyes "these fucking people are so nosey, I really am going to jail at this pace"
"I'm leaving good bye Emily."
"AND GO WERE BACK TO KILLING YOURSELF? I WONT LET YOU!"
"Can you keep your voice down? Do you not realize all these-"
"I don't care. You are my priority right now."
"I really don't know why it took me this long to notice your fucking insane."
I grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her outside.
"Uhhh where are we going?
"Anywhere that doesn't have people" I quickly walked towards where I thought my car was, that may or may not have a ticket on it due to me not remembering if I had paid the parking meter or not "I really do look like a abusive husband with me pulling her by the wrist like this, I guess I'll let her go."
"Why did you let me go?"
"It attracts to much attention. Why are you bothered by that in the first place? Are you some kind of masochist?"
"What? No! I just don't want to lose track of you."
She looked at me with wide eyes she seems to actually be worried about me "Fucking hell...how do I get rid of her?"
"Daniel"
She hugged me from the back, just like she did when we were on that roof top. This time my body wasn't full of adrenalin. I could feel her warmth seeping through her clothes. "Can you promise me you won't kill yourself?" I don't know what was worse: the fact she was so persistent, or the fact she was doing all of this for someone she just met, regardless I started to space out. I thought that if this girl really did decide to leave my side I would definitely end my life "To hell with that! Isn't that what I want? For her to leave?" I pushed her away and replied
"Yes, I won't kill myself." I didn't say this in a sarcastic tone. I acted dead serious in order to get her off me.
"You're lying Daniel"
"Again with this... why the fuck do you care?! I'm getting tired of this just go away" she stopped walking behind me and yelled "Fine! If you want it to be this way, I'll just ignore you!" I was kind of hurt that she had finally given up, but this was what I wanted. I'm not some kind of tsundere who secretly enjoyed her concern. I won't back down on my word. I walked without looking back, finally finding my car. I got inside and sat there in thought "Alright, going outside like this was a horrible idea. I'll just buy some good ammo that won't be duds and I'll try again."
As I was thinking all this, the car door suddenly opened which startled me "Oh shit! I didn't have the doors locked! Is someone trying to rob me? I'll just struggle with them and let them shoot me. Hurray my death will no longer be in my hands, how perfect" my train of thought was interrupted by the realization that Emily had sat on the passenger seat of the car "Holy shit, you have a car unc?" Why the hell was she in my car and, why was she talking that way?
"Get the fuck out."
"No"
"Get. the. fuck. out."
"No"
"GET THE FUCK OUT"
"lalalala I can't hear you!"
"are you a fucking kindergartener?"
"are you a fucking kindergartener" she repeated while pointing her finger up ...yup she was mocking me "okay well I guess I'll kidnap you then" I started the car then speeded off in a attempt to scare her, but she was unfazed "what the hell am I going to do with her? Do I- ummm... throw her out?"
"Uhhh... won't your parents be worried about you? Tell me where you live and I'll take you there."
"They don't care" was the only thing she said as she continued to ignore me. I was tired of this whole situation. I just want to go home at this point. Looks like she got what she wanted, I had given up on taking my life for today. The car ride was awkward and thoughts started flooding my head "Does she have no survival instinct? Getting in some dudes car that was going to kill himself minutes ago isn't really the best idea in the world." "She doesn't even look worried. What the hell is wrong with her?" We were 2 minutes away from my house and now my head was filling up with irrelevant thoughts "My house is a fucking mess, how is she going to react to that?" "how long is she going to stay with me?" "Why am I so convinced I can't get rid of her? There's still other op-" I finally pulled into my drive way and into my garage. As I opened the door I said "Hope you don't mind the mess." I had no idea what was going through her mind, but hopefully she will want to go home after seeing the filth that I have the nerve to call my home. We walked in and everything was as I left it- "a fucking mess". I looked to my left to see her reaction and-
"Wait are you crying?"
"Oh my god dude... How sad did your life have to be for it to get to this point?" her statement, although hurtful, made me realize her emotions where genuine.
"uhh... come on lets go to the living room" We walked throw the trash, occasionally stepping on a fast food wrapper or a empty bag of chips or candy.
...
I no longer questioned why I had brought this girl to my house nor what I could have done better at this point. I gave up on thinking of complicated things.
"So umm, what would you like? I have soda... and not much of anything else" I quickly remembered I had absolutely nothing to eat but that was a thought for later.
"No I'm fine."
We stayed sitting in silence for the longest 10 minutes of my life before I decided to end this odd stalemate. I turned on the tv which I had only used for gaming and watching anime or Netflix, none of these were options I could just put on carelessly without having to awkwardly choose something random. Playing a video game right now would be odd so I decided to ask her what she watched.
"So, any suggestions?"
she responded with an unsure stare and silence, and we both just looked at the main menu of the tv.
"I like anime" she finally broke the silence with words that seemed...kinda random?
"do you like anime also? You seem like the type."
"uhhh yes"
"What kind? tell me your top five."
"Top 5? I don't know? Well I guess, Code Geass, Death Note, Overlord and Clanned
"ohhhh so you're an edge lord"
"ya I'm a pretty big edge lord I guess" This conversation is going smooth. Even though it was meaningless in my perspective, I wasn't getting bored.
"Anyway, my top 5 anime huh? Hmmm, I'd say, Love is War, A Silent Voice, Demon Slayer and hmmmm...Call of the Night."
"Ya, half of those are kinda basic but I did enjoy them."
"What are you some kind of anime elitist? Leave me alone.
Come on, put on love is war!"
"I've already seen it."
"Ummm, ever heard of rewatching shows? I've rewatched A Silent voice at least a dozen times, it's my comfort anime."
"Am I just supposed to forget everything that happened in it and act like I'm enjoying it?"
"EXACTLY!"
And just like that, we ended up rewatching the entire first season of Love is War. Strangely enough, I did end up enjoying it. The awkwardness I felt before started to fade away after we spent the whole-time making jokes about the some of the things in the anime.
"Daniel I'm hungryyyyyyy."
"Oh that's unfortunate. I'm poor and I am in terrible gambling debt, so I guess you'll just have to starve"
"I can't tell if that's a joke or not."
"Joke?"
"Anyway can you order something? Please I'll pay you back."
"I love how you assume your going to be able to leave my house unharmed."
"Oh come on, you're no big deal. If you were bad, you would have done something from the start. You're way better then anyone waiting for me at home."
"Family problems? You wanna share?
"Not really... Well at least not right now. I'm in a good mood, I don't wanna ruin it."
"'Kay then come on, let's go to the store. I need to pick out groceries for this week. We'll eat something there" "what am I doing? Why did I just say this so casually? Did I really warm up to her in such a short time?"
"Yaaay, I want some cookies."
"Oh I see, you wanted snacks- not an actual meal"
"Can't it be both?"
"Fatty."
"Wow, that's not very nice buddy."
"Sorry, I like saying the first thing that comes to my mind instead of actually thinking before speaking" (why?)
"Hahaha don't worry, I'm the same way once I get comfortable with someone" (why?)
"Come on, ladies first." I said as I opened the door for her while pointing my finger up, copying the tone she had while we were in the car earlier (WHY?)
"Oh now your copying my brain rot humor huh? You wanna be me or something?" she giggled, her laugh made my heart warm up. Seems like I-(WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THAT?! This isn't enough to fix you)-really enjoy her company.
"What's wrong why are you spacing out? Get in"
"Oh ya right, I started the car and waited for it to warm up and opened the garage. (YOU FUCKING PEDO HAHAHA YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO ENJOY YOUR FUCKING TIME LIKE THIS?)
"Daniel are you alright? We don't have to go outside-"
"Ya I'm-... I'm fine."