My heart shattered like a broken window, as flashbacks about our last encounter fills every nook and canning in my brain. Another tear dripped like a droplet of rain and stained my cheek with its salty taste. Kyle squad down in front of me; cupped my face and brushed a tear away with the pad of his thumb. I looked straight at him.
A whirlpool of unidentified emotions is scribbled all over his complexion. He leaned in closer and gently pressed a kiss upon my nose. I giggled slightly at the ticklish sensation that fanned my face. Trapped within the mists of the unexpected happiness and the cornucopia of sadness. Unfortunately that's just it, there's no spark and never before had there been any kind of static reaction when Kyle's lips had touched mine.
Sure, he makes me happy there's really no denying it. He makes me smile more then I had in a very long time. Physically and emotionally Kyle had put me back together, after a certain somebody had torn me to pieces. Is that enough reason to seal my fate in ink? To bound myself to another human being for as long as I shall live. Being married for something other then love seems ignorant. Had I been completely intoxicated when I agreed to his proposal?
I shift through the boxes of thoughts that's neatly arranged on high shelves in my Memory lane, searching for that one particular remembrance. As far as I can recall, I had only enjoyed a single glass of Sweet Rosé, along with my meal that evening and surely it wasn't enough for me to judge out of character. Why am I questioning this now? Is it because that out of all the people that I've come to know over the years, I just had to run into him? I never thought that I'll ever get the privilege of seeing him again.
Kyle's lips brushed softly against mine, pulling me out of my daydream. A sweet yet simple kiss without any tongue. Even the most innocent high school child shared a sizzler first kiss before. "You should enjoy a deep, warm bubble bath. I'll unpack the groceries while you're at it," he said with a broad smile. I nodded, before leaning in closer and placing a peck swiftly upon his cheek, which made him blush slightly.
I made my way to the main bathroom, through the closet in the bedroom that we share. At entrance a fancy restroom greeted me. The tiles that spread evenly across the floor as well as the single layer of tiles along the bottom row of the walls, is stained mocha. While the walls, however, is a shade lighter. The extract details a studding shade of teal. I opened the taps, filling up the tub.
A small amount of bubble bath gave my water a rosy pink hue and added a decent amount of lathers. Giving off a flowery fragrance. I stripped down to my birthday suit and bury myself in its foamy delight. The lavish surroundings only makes my heart ache more, leaving a trail of tears to mix with the pinkish water. Sobbing heartrendingly like I'm walking around with a storm cloud hanging above my head. Feeling sentimental, deep and soulful. As quickly as I wipe the waterworks away a new flood graced me with its appearance.
A soft knock came to the door to which Kyle entered. Sympathy written all over his face. He stood against the wall, looking down at me. He had seen me naked before but nothing else ever happened between us. Our relationship is completely platonic. Perhaps it's because I can't seem to see myself with another man if that man isn't Misha Anderson. I know that I have indeed promised Kyle that I'll give myself over to him on our wedding night, but it doesn't mean that I'm not nervous for such progress to develop.
I must seem brittle underneath his gaze, like a bold written warning beneath a porcelain doll: Don't touch, it's fragile! A silent sob tumbled from my lips before I could catch it. "I haven't seen you this upset in years," he said in a calm tone. I looked down at the white froth that's coating my frame. "You don't have to tell me what happened between you guys, but do know that I am here for you," he said thoughtfully.
My affection towards him may not be as magnified as one may think but I can grow to love him more, eventually. It's not like my feelings surrounding him is completely emotionless because I do feel something for him but knowing that my love for him is nowhere close to what he feels for me and knowing that it doesn't struck close to home, saddens me more than I care to admit. I'm just not completely sure what one would call this kind of affection. Is this how a soon to be wedded woman is supposed to feel…? I bet not! "Thank you, baby," I said but somehow the nickname caught up in my throat like a stupid lump that just won't go down.
Dammit, God dammit why…? Why did you have to return? Why couldn't you just let me be miserable in the arms of another? I'm sure that Kyle Gonzalez can have made me happy if I just allow him too, but how am I suppose to see us together in the near future now that I've seen Misha again. This is so damn frustrating that I feel like pulling my hair out by its roots and drown myself in an endless bottle of tears. Dammit Misha, why?