For three cycles I did not seek out Haein.
I knew where to find her.
I knew I could see her any time I wanted.
I knew with the infinite number of chances I had, I would be able to find a way to win her over - a new personality or not.
But I didn't want to.
The last Haein wanted me to remember her for who she was. She wanted to be etched in my memory forever. She wanted our memory to be unique, singular - never to be repeated.
What an anomaly she was. She was an anomaly among anomalies, a broken angel among the devils, and possibly - the love of my life.
I mourned for her 'death' like I never mourned for anybody.
Even the first time I killed Haein - my first murder - did not leave me with such a devastating heartbreak I've been feeling for the past three cycles.
I was broken.
I did not even bother going around killing people.
I felt like there was no more point in me trying to be stronger.
