I felt mortified. How can this happen to me on our first meeting, 'maybe he didn't hear my skirt tearing, maybe he didn't see anything', but those thoughts slowly vanished as I glanced down to the skirt that was ruined.
Tears welled in my eyes and my whole face was crimson red as I ran to my desk, clutching my skirt.
Fortunately the office was suspiciously empty and I was able to wear my coat and fasten it.
I heard someone open the door and I looked to see Mr. Ceo by the door. 'why did he follow me?'
I could see amusement playing on his features but he masked it and said in his velvety deep voice :"everyone else is in the meeting room waiting for us, let's hurry..." he paused and said "don't worry, your coat is covering you well", a hint of a smile escaped his lips before he turned around and started walking away to hide it.
Trying to stop myself from bursting into tears and appearing more as a fool, I tried to govern over my feelings and followed after him.
The meeting room was spacious with a big round table in the middle and all of the workers were already seated.
Darrius took his seat and I mimicked him on the far side of the table. The meeting started with some strategy ideas discussed and then the conversation shifted to the managers' works, projects and responsibilities.
While the conversation carried on, i stole glances at my crush, he was listenening intently with a calculated look. He looked domineering and captivating, but not overbearing. He was a leader without effort, quiet but intimidating. Suddenly he looked up and our eyes met.
I averted his glance but I was sure he noticed. I was doomed, I knew that he would know about my feelings but I didn't think I would give myself away on the first day. I couldn't help it, I have always been the kind of person who wore their heart on their sleeve, I wasn't able to hide my emotions or fake how I felt about someone or something.
I noticed the silence and was sensitive enough to hear Linda say: "I think our newbie is a little nervous that's why she can't answer" , I looked up at her and saw her glaring at me, before looking around and noticing everyone's attention on me.
"Sorry, I'm a bit nervous", I said sheepishly and Linda repeated : "Mr. Astor asked of your corporate experience, if you could elaborate"
I took a deep breath and sent a silent prayer that I would take back some of my dignity with an intelligent response : "To be honest, my work experience is limited as I have worked for a small company that basically supported small businesses. My role at first was like any other intern, as I helped around the office, but then I was entrusted with accounting and transaction meetings..."
"It says here that you were an intern for a yaer, it does'nt say you had a manager role" Darrius interrupted and I blushed like an idiot when he looked at me but quickly answered: "My position never changed within the comapany, I simply followed my superior's orders..." everyone were silent and astonished then I added so I wouldn't sound like a helpless pushover "I didn't continue with the company once my workload doubled"
I was well aware that I was exploited at my last job, but I didn't really care; it was an internship I took to be accepted here.
To be honest, I never cared about work at all, as long as I earn a simple living wherein I have a roof over my head and a meal then I am content.
Studying and excelling to earn a high paying job was never my dream, I never had any aspirations. I just wanted a home and someone who truly loved me, and once I fell in love with Darrius, that warm feeling that invaded my cold empty heart became an addiction. I never dared to dream of being loved by him, but I wanted to be close to him, somewhere in his vicinity where I could see him and could feel my heart pounding into life for him.
While my brows furrowed in contemplation; he announced: "Well in our company, you will start as an assistant, you will relieve Linda of some of her duties and assist me"
I was shocked and could not believe it and I wasn't the only one because Linda interrupted :" I thought that Cathy can assist me instead so that I can manage your schedule and attend meetings with you"
"That wouldn't be necessary as your position is crucial and cannot be managed by Ms. Parker on her own"
That concluded their arguments and they moved to others topics. But from that point on I couldn't follow with any point they made, I was too shocked, thrilled and excited all at once.
The meeting concluded shortly after and Darrius called : "Ms. Parker, my office please."
I snapped out of my revery and followed him. I didn't miss how some of the female workers drooled after him and how some of them looked at me with curiosity and disdain.
When we reached his office, he took his seat and without looking up, he instructed : "Linda will give you all of the documents needed, including my schedule and other notes concerning my meetings, you will organize and attend my meetings so as to take notes and write reports. These will be your tasks for now".
I nodded and walked to the door to find Linda already waiting for me. She cleared some space for me by her desk before she handed me his schedule.
I sifted through the meetings of the day and made some research before his 11.30 meeting.
Linda started her lecture out of the blue : "Mr. Astor is a very good director, you will find working with him easy enough as long as you pay attention to some details. He doesn't like being late, so you must be punctual when it comes to his meetings. Given your clumsy history, I would suggest you stay alert and not daydream like you did at today's meeting. Also... " she looked me up and down "you better keep a respectful demeanour, Mr. Astor doesn't mix work and private relationships, not that you have to worry about it".
Her fixed stare and words wounded me more than I liked to admit. Partially because she made it clear that Darrius would never give me a second look, that I was so beneath him and wouldn't dare make an advance. But I knew I only was upset because I had a huge crush on him, if I was indifferent her words wouldn't have hurt me.
I made no remark on what she said and continued my research on the business meeting coming up.
Soon after, Darrius opened the door and gave me a nod to follow him.
We made our way towards the elevator and he pressed the button for the parking lot.
Inside the enclosed space I faced forward fearing I would blush it I glanced at him, but the smell of his perfume was so alluring that a shiver ran down my spine and I marveled at the foreign feeling.
It felt as if my pure feelings for him were taking on a dangerous route toward desire.
He broke the silence when he said : "I have seen you before"
I was shocked to say anything so he carried on : "Did you attend any co-lectures I gave?"
I felt as though he knew the answer and my heart threatened to leep out of my chest. I was afraid that he recognized me from one of the lecture halls he attended because I kept staring at him or because I attended all his lectures and the conferences he was apart of even if they weren't in the finance department.
I was also afraid he noticed that sometimes I followed him around campus until he left. I was basically a stalker without remorse, but I never bothered him and I only followed him when he came to college.
'It's not like I'm a full time stalker. But who am I kidding? I am crazy and obsessed'
I was so scared that he found me out, but I said meekly : "yes I attended some of the lectures you gave, you are quite famous at our department, but I hardly believe that you would remember me, I have an easily forgotten face" I was rambling by the end and struggled to shut myself up, but he spoke almost in a whisper and I was shocked : " I disagree".
I turned to look at him and saw something in his blue orbs that disappeared just as quickly.
He shifted and gave a card, it was the company's credit card and said :"this is for you to use whenever I require anything to buy... And we are going to stop by a mall on our way so that you can buy a change of clothes before the meeting"
I was utterly shocked and flushed by his last words that reminded me of my embarrassing morning and protested :"Mr. Astor, you don't have to.."
"I insist, I can't let you struggle throughout our meeting today... Cathy"
My name on his lips was the most beautiful name in the world, and for the first time in my whole life I felt like it was special.
And just like that, I was lost staring at his sculptured face, in a daze because he called my name.