I finished the arrangements for the dinner date and took the piece of paper to call Natasha. But not before I made some research about her.
Her name was Natasha Anderson, her family was very rich with her father being a millionaire.
She was gorgeous with green eyes and black straight hair. She had a model figure, skinny and very tall. Her pictures online were varied from red carpet events, to news about her latest romantic ventures.
I looked upon those picture with envy and disdain... I just didn't like that Darrius had a relationship with someone like her. I wished she would have been an amazing person so that I can quench these feelings of hurt with acceptance, but she was just not good enough for him... even though she was ten time better than me.
After I finished with my work for the day and I saw that it was exactly 5, I knocked on his door : " Mr. Astor, I'm finished with the work of the day and I made a reservation at the restaurant you wanted, is there anything else you would like me to do?"
He looked up from his files and lifted a brow, the action was so sexy that I blushed and looked anywhere else but his face.
Soon enough he replied :" you can leave if you finished ".
I left the office feeling dejected, I was so out of sorts that I didn't notice when Dominic, Darrius' chauffeur, came closer. He said in his deep intimidating voice : "can I have a minute Ms. Parker?"
"yes of course"
I followed him to a nearby sitting area confused as to why he would have to talk to me.
He started : "Ms. Parker, although it has been a few weeks since you started work, I wanted to give you this to fill out. It's a forum for Mr. Astor's safety. All employees are required to fill it but I believe HR forgot to hand it to you."
It was definitely a strange forum, it required my current address, my past jobs and their address, my education, and other information that kind of resembled a CV but rather focused on security issues.
I said in a weak voice :" why am I required to fill this?"
He looked at me with suspicion :"you are not the only one required to fill out such forms, anyone who works closely with the ceo should be investigated thoroughly".
I didn't want to press on and complied with filling out all of my informations.
When I finished, I handed it over and said a quick farewell and left. I wasn't in the mood to spend a minute in the company of anyone. I wanted to be alone and wallow in my pain and misery.
The next morning, everything was as usual, except for me.
I felt a change come over me, like I was different. And though people wouldn't be able to detect that change because I never really talked much, I could feel it through my limbs.
I lost that spark I had at first and now every time I saw his face a sense of longing followed by pain overtook me.
Days passed on, and one day when I was in Darrius' office, going through his meeting schedule, he interrupted me saying :"you look kind of different these days"
I was so taken aback by his remark because usually we both were always on point. We would only speak when it is about work and that seemed to please him.
I answered :"I apologize. I'm not sure what you mean".
"you look kind of down, is the workload too much? Would you like to change your station..."
I almost shrieked :"No... I... I don't want to change my role... I like working with you..."
I trailed weakly at the end and was flushed because I startled him. My answer was a contrast to my normal demeanour that he was shocked for a minute and I cast my eyes down to avoid his penetrating orbs.
Silence took over the office, then he cleared his voice : "very well then, you can continue"
I tried to regain some of my composure but I knew my face was beet red and by the time I made it to my chair, I felt like my limbs were on the verge of giving out.
I was so surprised by his words, so afraid that he would distance me from him that I couldn't reign in on my reaction.
But from that day forward we fell into a peaceful routine working in the office and attending meetings together.
That all changed a few months later, when I noticed how haggard Darrius looked, he was in the office before me and stayed well into the evening. He asked me to leave on time but I declined. I liked staying with him in the quiet office, just the two of us.
I made sure to decline his offer to drive me home many times, until one day he just pressed the button for the parking lot and refrained me from declining.
The drive home was nerve wrecking, with Dominic who didn't even ask for my address as he already knew where to go. When we got there I thanked them both and left quickly.
I wondered if it was normal for a boss to drive their employee. Doubt started to gnaw at my mind, and it was mixed with some delusion to give me the sense that I was special. I started to oppress it but feared this time I would not be able to.
He was just too tender with me, and indifferent with other female employees. He wasn't the flirtatious type, or overly caring, I was not as stupid as to not notice how he cared for me.
He would ask if I had lunch and would scowl if I said no. He would look at my clothes and if they were too thin he remarked so disapprovingly. Even my paycheck came earlier and earlier each month and I couldn't stop my suspicions that he had a hand in the matter.
When the workload seemed to double by the day, I gained some courage from his tenderness with me and asked : "Mr. Darrius, our projects are going smoothly but you seem to have more work by the day, maybe you should cut back a little..."
I drifted my last words, unsure if my very uncharacteristic speech was appropriate.
He looked up at me surprised, but he didn't appear annoyed and said :" I haven't discussed this with the other employees, but our company will be merged soon".
I was shocked and confused and I willed him with my eyes to carry on and after looking out the window for a minute he did.
"it will be added to Astor Enterprises. In the first place our company here was a test" he smiled cynically and carried on "but don't worry, nothing will change for all of you, you'll have your positions secured"
I asked in a trembling voice : "will I still be your assistant?"
He looked at me and answered grimly : "I'm afraid that won't be possible" he paused then added :"you can leave early today"
He cast his eyes down and I didn't trust my voice to sound unaffected so I bowed and left.
It wasn't until I left the company that I let the dread engulf me, and the tears threatened to show were halted by the blowing wind.
It hadn't been but a few months since I started working for him and now this dream is coming to an end.
The prospect of this merge dampened my spirits and it didn't help that the Astor family butler called the next day requesting a meeting with Darrius. After relaying the news to him, he looked wary and asked me to schedule it for tomorrow afternoon.
I was anxious about that meeting as if they were coming to take him away from me the very next day. And while that childish fear did not come true, something similar did occur.
As I stood waiting for the 2 p.m meeting, a lean man with a stoic face and graying hair marched into the office door. I announced his arrival and watched as Darrius regarded him with respect : "I hope you have been well Alfred"
The man answered : "very well indeed young master".
After that initial greeting I closed the door and left. I wanted to put my ear by the door and listen in, but I stopped myself and took my seat.
Soon enough however, I could hear Darrius' voice almost shouting : "... I don't care what he wants, I didn't ask for him to appoint me in his position... tell him that I will not accept such terms..."
I couldn't hear what the butler said, but Darrius' voice rose with rage :"is he going to use Max against me now?"
I couldn't make sense of the conversation, but I gathered that it was a familial issue and it also included the merge.
By the time the butler left I was a nerve wreck. Not long after that , Dominic came running up the stairs, he gave me a small nod and entered the office.
This time however, I couldn't stop myself from inching towards the door. It was not fully closed and I was grateful for that.
Dominic said :"what's wrong with you, Alfred was grim faced when he left"
"he didn't like what I had to say, that's why" Darrius' voice was full of resentment and Dominic tried to urge him for more information : "I can't understand what he could have said to upset you. I thought it was your plan to merge once your grandfather yielded to hand over his position"
Darrius replied angrily : "that's exactly it. He did not yield, he found another way to twist my arm" he paused then continued :"he gave me a six months period, in which I have to get married to assume my position"
Silence overtook the office. And I think my heart took cue to be silent as well. I was terrified of what he would say next, but I kept listening either way.
"he said that without marriage he will not hand over the chairman seat, which I don't give a shit about, but he also threatened to send Max away.
He said I'd never see him again if I refused to marry"
Dominic grunted :"well that is a low blow. I'd say he won't do it but I think we both know he is well capable of that... What will you do now?"
"I have no idea... I'll try to find a legal way out, but for now I'll make it seem as though I agreed"
Dominic slowly asked :"and how would you that?"
Darrius said : "he said they would arrange marriage meetings... I guess attending would pacify him for now..."
Once I heard about marriage meetings, I walked away from the office area, and as their conversation drifted with each step I took, I felt the sense of abandonment.
I imagine if I were older when my other left me on that gas station I would have felt the same way.
Will I be able to accept these meaningless events that played out to separate me from him, and just as I achieved my goal to be next to him?
Will I be able to let go of him when I haven't even had him yet?
I had no idea what to do next and that terrified me.