After hearing the shocking conversation, I had to take a minute out. I knew I couldn't leave but I just wanted some fresh air to stop the tears from spilling.
I opted for the rooftop. The never ending thoughts came crashing over me the second I stopped walking.
'He's gonna get married'. I mean, it was gonna happen anyway and I was expecting him to have a girlfriend. But I couldn't forget his frustration and anger at being forced to.
I'm sure all wealthy people are used to arranged marriages, but for Darrius to marry with threats... it was hard for me to accept.
I wanted him to be happy, his happiness could be my happiness, but now that I'm seeing him struggle, it's breaking my heart.
'who is Max?'. His conversation kept on going on repeat in my brain like a damaged record until I snapped out of it and decided to head back. I was composed enough not to hug him in consolation the minute I saw him.
That's what I thought, but I was naturally mistaken.
When I got to my desk Dominic stepped out of the office and urged me :"Mr. Darrius is waiting for you"
I gave him a curt nod and headed inside.
His hair was a bit messy from tossing it angrily I presumed, and his face looked defeated and tired. When I noticed his usual composure and masked features not present, I felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness.
I said cautiously :" you asked for me Mr. Darrius?"
He looked up :"yes Cathy, I wanted to let you know that my schedule could get disrupted in the next few days.
Mr. Alfred will be in contact with you to set up meetings for me. Make sure to schedule them for an afternoon tea"
I asked: "what kind of meeting?", I knew the answer to the question but I wanted him to open up to me about what happened, I hoped he would upgrade our relationship further, but his answer was not what I expected.
He looked up at me and I could see something in his gaze, unease and pain, but it was a fleeting moment with his stoney mask right back as he said: "the kind of meetings you don't have to attend"
His curt remark was surprisingly cutting and I was shocked for a moment. He was never rude to me and he didn't discourage me last time when I inquired more into his affairs; however this time was different.
I didn't say anything, I just turned around and left. It was probably an overreaction for an employee to her bosses reprimand but I didn't care.
The line of our relationship has blurred in my eyes so much that I didn't know how to act around him anymore, I just prayed that he didn't notice and if he did, he would act indifferent.
Sure enough, by the next day, I got the call from the butler setting a date. He was to the point, gave the address and asked which time would be best so I set it for 2 in the afternoon.
I fancied myself screaming at him that Darrius would never come to his sharade of an arrangement. Or I could just not answer him at all and ignore him until he went away, but I knew those were wishful dreams.
I watched Darrius leave the office for the meeting and it felt like knives were stabbed into my heart. I knew then and there that I would not be able to stand it if I had to send him off knowing he'll meet other women, not again.
Unfortunately for me, this cycle had to go on and on, because after every few days from one date, the butler would call again to set another one.
It seemed as though Darrius was going there just to appease his grandfather, and in turn his grandfather was set on making him commit to one of the matches.
A month into the whole ordeal, I couldn't stop myself from getting curious and I followed him to one of his dates.
I knew the address and I was able to leave early that day, therefore I couldn't stop myself from getting an Uber to the fancy country club with the society Café where they would meet.
I didn't get in of course given it was a membership only club and I would probably not be able to afford even water. That didn't stop me from taking a seat at a nearby restaurant.
I watched in amazement at all the fancy cars that came and went from the entrance that was heavily guarded. Women clad in expensive coats carrying million dollars bags and men wearing suits and laughing as if they don't have a care in the world.
It was a painful sight, to see once more the huge gap between our worlds.
I waited for almost half an hour after the supposed time of the date and I was expecting it to take longer, but I could see from afar Dominic in the Mercedes pulling up and minutes later Darrius stepped out of the club.
Before he could leave, a woman caught up to him and held his hand. She was blonde and skinny and as tall as him, and I could feel, even with the great distance that separated us, that she was gorgeous and wealthy and fit for the role of his wife.
I watched as he took a step from her, talked a bit more, then got in the car and left. The woman left after him in her Ferrari.
The only person left in that wretched scene, was me and my sorrows. I didn't even feel like crying, I just felt appalled at myself for stalking him, for invading his private moment and most of all for loving him in the first place.
As I made my way from uptown New York City to my rundown neighborhood and my rundown apartment, I vowed to bury my feelings for him, to kill this need in my heart.
I made a promise to myself never to follow him again or to care who he dated or who he married.
Even though the act I witnessed today was not particularly portraying a loving couple, and I was sure there would be other dates set in the future by the butler, what really upset me is my outmost happiness of seeing him leave without the woman.
That glimmer of hope I felt was ugly and I didn't want any part of it. I didn't want to taint my pure feelings for Darrius with dark desires that could even bring him misfortune.
'From this day forth I will be there for him as a tool to make his life easier, I will work hard and never think of anything else, I will relish in his light and live as a shadow.'
My vows were tested many times more since I made them. I would be so focused until he would walk up to my desk and my heart would start throbbing.
But I kept myself detached. That is until one evening I had stayed late with Darrius. It was almost eight and everyone was long gone.
Darrius came back to the office soon after his date and was swarmed with work. I didn't have the heart to leave him so I stayed until it felt too dark and unsafe to get home on my own and then I was forced to go. I excused myself and received only a wary look and a remark that I should've left earlier.
As I made my way to the elevator, Dominic stepped out and headed to Darrius' office.
Dominic was not a fan of mine. I didn't know why, but he always gave me the cold shoulder and rarely talked to me. Then again, it might just be his nature.
I was almost out of the building when I fiddled in my bag to find my phone. It wasn't there, and so I headed back to look for it.
The whole floor was dim lighted and when I arrived at my desk I heard the soft murmurs of Dominic from the slightly ajar door.
"You have been deathly quiet today, was your date with Ms. Georgina as awful as her skimpy dress and over the top make up?"
There was a hint of laughter in Dominic's speech and I felt astonished, cause he never even cracked a smile on our frequent car rides together.
Darrius sounded annoyed and I could see the frown on his face in my mind :" I'm glad you're enjoying this situation, at least one of us is"
" Don't be like this Darrius, this... arrangement of yours might not be as bad as you make it out to be.
You are going to get married eventually to secure an heir , so why not now "
" You know it's not that simple"
"No Darrius I don't, I get that you grandfather is forcing you, but at the end of the day he just wants to see you settle down..."
"It doesn't matter why he's doing it... I don't want to start a relationship like this"
Dominic was quiet for a moment then continued : "Technically, he's setting you on dates, and he's been tolerant with your dismissal of all those girls from prestigious families, meaning you get to pick and choose until you find the one..."
I was well that my stay has prolonged without meaning and that I am resuming my habit of eavesdropping, but I wanted to understand what was going through his head. He has been so distant ever since these marriage meetings started, and I couldn't read him no matter how hard I tried.
Dominic was not able to finish his last sentence when I heard the slamming of a fist on the desk : "Dominic, you know why I don't want to get married, my heart already belongs to someone else and I don't want to give up on her because of my grandfather's schemes..."
Dominic's voice took on a sharp tone, as if he was shocked and upset at the same time :"Tell me you're not being serious, I've said nothing all this time cause I was hoping you were just going through.. I don't know a crazy phase of pity induced attraction"
"Enough, you're my friend but don't forget that I'm your employer as well, I will not have you talk to me like that"
I was alarmed, they were just having a normal conversation but it escalated so fast and I strained to hear more.
"That's bullshit Darrius, I am speaking to you as a friend at the moment, not as your employee, and I think you need to hear this, cause you lost your damned mind"
" I don't need to hear a thing..."
"Yes you do" Dominic interrupted "I have seen your interactions with this girl, and you're definitely acting different around her.
I hoped you just pitied her, not you had feelings for her..."
"And why would that be a bad thing, can you elaborate since you're so vocal about this topic?!".
A shiver ran down my spine from the sharpness of Darrius' voice, I have never seen him lose control in all these months I've been working for him. And it was kind of scary being this close while it happened.
Dominic on the other hand seemed unfazed : "She is too different from you. You are worlds apart. You are an heir to a whole enterprise, her background is not suitable for you and your meeting circumstances are suspicious at best...
Your family would never accept her..."
"I don't give a damn if they don't accept her, she will be mine and I will force everyone to treat her as a queen."
Dominic went silent then continued : "You're just going to hurt yourself and hurt her in the process... She won't be able to survive your world..."
"Dominic, enough of this. If you value our friendship you will stand by me as you always did... however, if your loyalty has changed , I advise you to keep out of my personal business"
Dominic was quiet yet again then he started : "Although I don't agree with your decision to pursue her... I think you should accept one of the candidates..."
"what are you talking about..."
"Darrius, I think this would be the only way to make your grandfather give up on separating you and Max. Just act like you liked one of the candidates, marry her and once you have all legal rights on Max, you can get a divorce. But you have to agree beforehand like a fake wife contract"
Darrius was frustrated, I could feel it from his voice : "That won't work. You should've seen those women, all of them are too power hungry and desperate for the 'Astor Wife' statue. They'd never accept.."
By the end of his strong infuriated speech, I had the sense to drag myself out of there. Working at this company will surely lead to my demise.
I have never been confused, heartbroken and lost as I am right now, not even when I was in foster care.
By the time I got home, it dawned on me what that whole conversation meant.
Darrius was forced to get married by his grandfather, but he didn't want to because he loved someone else.
Darrius loved someone else.
Tears kept spilling until I fell asleep and I woke up with a puffy face and a new resolution.
I promised that I would do anything to be of help and that is exactly what I will do.
I will sacrifice everything, including myself to help him reunite with his loved one and reach all his goals.
I will be his fake wife.