Sven Sylvester is a 21 year old young man studying in Cologne University, Germany. He is a 6 feet tall man but he is skinny and looks frail in comparison to others. he has messy hair and baggy eyes as he dosent sleep much. He is lonely and lives in his rented room in a apartment in the city of Cologne. He is always lost in thoughts and thinks he can see thorough others. He has some so called friends but they do not care or respect him at all. How will his tragic life progress?
The alarm rings and its loud as hell. I stare at the ceiling and just let it ring. The sound fills the room but it dosent reach me.
My body feels heavy and I dont wanna get out of bed at all.
Its been days since I have felt anything close to being okay. The alarm has been ringing for five minutes now.
I should probably turn it off. But uhh what's the point?
I eventually turn the damn thing off. The silence returns, and for a second the world feels quiet.
I wonder why I even bother. Every day's the same. I Wake up. Go to class. Pretend everything's fine. Come home. Repeat. Only to ask myself, "What's the point of all this?"
I used to have answers. Not anymore.
The clock reads 7:45 AM. I'm late. Classes start at 9 AM. I have got only about an hour to get ready.
Doesn't matter.
No one is gonna care if I show up or not anyways.
I stare at the wall for a while. For quiet some while. Just blank thoughts.
What am I doing here?
What the hell am I supposed to be doing with my life?
I pull myself out of bed, dragging my feet as I walk to the bathroom.
I look in the mirror. My reflection stares back at me, but I barely recognize the person looking back.
My eyes are hollow with dark circles beneath them. I splash water on my face, but it doesn't make me feel any more awake. I just feel... numb.
As I leave my apartment, the cold air hits my skin, but it doesn't wake me up. Nothing does anymore.
When I get to the University, the halls are already filled with people rushing to class. They all seem like they know where they're going, what they're doing. I am jealous of them to be honest.
I walk towards my first class. I don't even remember what day it is today. I stop at the entrance to the lecture hall and just stand there for a moment, staring at the door.
Do I even wanna to go in?
Before I can make a decision, someone calls my name.
"Sven! There you are, man!"
It's Schneizel. He's standing with a few of the others, smiling like nothing in the world bothers him.
I force a smile as I walk over.
"Yo, you comin to the party tonight?" Schneizel asks. slinging an arm around my shoulders.
His breath smells faintly of alcohol. Its 9AM and he has already drunk alcohol.
"It's gonna be wild dude! You should definitely come n' just enjoy."
I dont wanna go. Parties aren't my thing. They never have been. Too damn loud. Too many people. Too much... pretending.
But I know if I say no, Schneizel's gonna make a big deal out of it. He always does that.
"Yeah, why not.... ?"
Schneizel grins.
"That's the spirit my guy!!..... Its gonna be soo much fun. Trust me dude."
Trust. Funny word. I used to trust these people. Used to think we were friends.
Now? I don't know anymore. I'm just... here. A part of the group, but not really.
As we walk toward class, they all chat and joke, but I'm barely listening. It's like I'm not even there. Like I'm just a shadow, following them around, invisible.
The day drags on. Classes go by. Professors talk. I'm stuck in my head, thinking about nothing and everything at once.
By the time the last lecture ends, I'm already exhausted, even though I've done nothing all day. My phone buzzes in my pocket. Schneizel messaged me about the party.
I don't want to go. Every part of me screams to just go home, crawl into bed, and forget about the world. But I know I'll go anyway. It's easier that way. Easier to just go along with it, pretend everything's fine.