Just like Felix insisted I packed up some cash in my wallet and headed out with him resting in my shoulder.
"Sven, lets go to your home town, Dormagen. Get on the bus and lets go there."
"What?! Are you crazy? Dormagen!?.... I thought you would suggest a walk down the street and back."
"Sven, just trust me."
"uhhh.... Why there..???"
"Just listen to me once."
"ahh, ok, fine...."
Dormagen is a semi-rural area where I grew up. Its 24 Kilometres (15 miles) away from Ehrenfled where I live in the rented apartment now. Its a 40 minute bud ride to get there.
I walk towards the bus stop and get there five minutes later.
"Felix... how are no one noticing you on my shoulders?"
"No one other than you can see me, Sven."
"What?!... I sure must have gone damn crazy."
"Sven, your not crazy... just relax."
The bus has arrived and the doors opened.
"Lets go, Sven."
We get on the bus and find myself a lone window seat, the bus is almost empty.
"Sven look outside the window.... Do you see how beautiful it is..?"
"Felix... I just don't get it... what's even beautiful outside?"
"Everything!!.... Everything Sven..." he says enthusiastically.
"For example, look at the oak trees, Sven. They have been standing here for years... standing from even before you were born."
"So what?" I ask not getting it.
"They shed their leaves when winter arrives and become lush again when its spring..."
"Just like that you should also make it through your own little winter." He says softly... those words resonate in my soul.
Then Felix steps down to my lap and lays there slowly breathing. I look outside the window just relaxing.
Then we reach Dormagen bus stop. Felix wakes up and climbs on my shoulder usual.
I find myself walking through familiar streets.... its like I know all the paths....
I end up near the corner store where I used to buy candies, its still open and alive as ever. Even the board sign hasn't changed.
I look at my reflection in the store window and feel how much I've changed.
"I used to come here all the time.." I mutter to Felix.
"Remember when you brought me along with you into the store and said to the shopkeeper that I wanted some free candies... huh, Sven?"
"Of course I remember..."
Looking back into those simpler times.... running through the streets without any care in the world... its been a long time..
"What happened Felix....? What had changed...?"
"Life... just happened." He says softly.
I turn away from the store with memories flowing into me.... its as if every tree, every street light, every street, speaks to me....
We walk around the town recollecting some old cherished memories with a bit nostalgia.
We head west to the River Rhine.
I let out a breath looking at it, the river is calm and serene. The sunset reflects on the Rhine casting vivid hues of orange and red on our skin.
"I used to come here a lot.... Every time I would get scolded by my teachers or parents.. I would come here and throw stones into the river."
Felix hops on the railing on the banks of the river and we just stand there for some time admiring the river and calm ourselves hearing the harmonious flow of the immortal river.
"You're not the only one who feels like this, you know Sven."
"The world is full of people who are lost... just like you Sven."
I clench my fists... "Yeah well that doesn't make it any better."
"No." Felix says gently.
"That means you are not alone, Sven."
I think about it while walking towards the bus stop and then we get back to Ehrenfled.
We get down the bus and its around 7PM.
"Sven, lets walk to that place." He says looking ahead on the street.
"Where..? What do you mean..?"
"The place you once were amazed by... a place where everyone feels amazed looking at.... The Cathedral... The Cologne Cathedral, Sven."
"Sure, but lets just grab something to eat... I am starving..."
We find my usual coffee spot, Kaiser Kafe and enter it. We find a cosy seat and sit down.
"The usual coffee please." I ask the barista.
"You come here often, huh, Sven?" Felix says looking around.
"Yeah, sure I do."
"Have you ever asked the barista, what her name is..?"
"No... why should I..?"
"Sven... you don't notice enough things around you... you're ignorant to the things around you.."
"Yeahh.... but.."
"No 'buts' Sven.... Just ask her."
She brings my coffee and serves it on the table. She is a pretty girl, probably my age. She's a gorgeous, brown-eyed brunette, She is also pretty short and small...
"Here's your coffee... Please enjoy!" She says smiling at me.
"Thanks... By the way I've seen you working here everyday... I come here often too." I said nervously
"Yeah, I've seen you here too... You bought the same blend everyday so I memorized your preference that's why I never asked you anything."
I felt something.... special... I never noticed that she didn't ask for what coffee I wanted... I think she asked that 2 or 3 times before she memorized it... But I... I never even looked her in the eye.
"Oh.... Um... Thanks. By the way, I never got your name.."
"My name's Luna. Luna Sabine." She said smiling gracefully.
"Oh such a nice name.."
"Whats your name...?" she asks with a polite voice.
"My name's Sven Sylvester. Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too.."
Then a another costumer calls her and she leaves with a faint smile.
"Felix.... what did you just make me do..?"
"Heh... haha... Now just ask her how's her day been." he says chuckling.
I gulp down my coffee and go off the counter where she is collecting the cash from the costumers.
"Thanks Luna."
"Oh its fine..."
"Seems like you're tired... are you okay.."
"Yeah.... I am kinda tired as we are short staffed but I really need to work this part time you see."
"Damn, you're a hard working women."
"Oh its nothing like that.." She laughs a little.
"You're a student I presume..?" I ask her..
"Yeah, I study in the Cologne University."
"Oh wow, I study there too.." I exclaim surprised.
"Yeah.. in the humanitarians faculty." She says softly.
"I've never seen you there though..." I ask her.
"I come here as fast as university ends... I usually do not hang out with anyone."
"Oh.. Lets meet next time Luna."
"Sure, nice meeting you Sven." She says to me with a tired but graceful smile.
My heart is racing, faster than ever.
"Felix... tell me.. what is it I am feeling..?"
"I wouldn't know the answer to that."
Then we walk towards the cathedral. I can see the silhouette of the towers rendering in view. I have always been drawn towards the cathedral, the first time I saw it I was left awestruck.
We both sit in a bench facing the cathedral, staring at its beautiful lights.
"You have ever wondered why places like this exist Sven?" he asks casually.
"Why do people build such grand things when we all know nothing lasts forever?"
I nod slowly with my eyes fixed on the glowing cathedra towers.
"Maybe its because they are trying to leave something behind... something that lasts long after they are gone.."
Felix looks at me considering my words.
"Maybe they are trying to distract themselves from the fact that they will be gone." he says.
We sit there for a while, letting the reality of our conversation sink into our minds....w
Then we head back home... my body feels heavy and head dizzy from the emotional weight of the day.
I collapse into bed letting out a sight. Felix jumps beside me and curls up near me.
"Get some sleep Sven. Its enough thinking for today.." he says softly comforting me.
I close my eyes for the first time in two days and drift off with a sense of comfort within me.
Maybe tomorrow would be better.