Fergio's sword clattered to the ground as his jaw dropped. He stared at the shimmering, ethereal figure of the System, his eyes wide with awe and something else that Ye Shengtao couldn't quite place but definitely didn't like.
"Well, well, well," Fergio said, puffing out his chest, his voice oozing with a newfound bravado. "It seems the gods have indeed smiled upon us this day. Behold! A divine maiden, sent to guide us on our noble quest!"
The System raised an eyebrow, her translucent form shimmering with a faint light. "Divine maiden? Really? I'm just a System."
Ye Shengtao didn't know if he wanted Fergio knowing about the system being a system, but it looked like he didn't need to worry about that.
Fergio wasn't listening.
He was already at full "heroic" mode, striding toward the System like a knight preparing to woo a damsel. Ye Shengtao cringed inwardly, fully aware of the train wreck that was about to happen but powerless to stop it.
"Fair lady," Fergio began, taking her translucent hand in his. "I must apologize for not recognizing your divine beauty earlier. Such radiance, such grace… surely you are no ordinary being. I, Sir Fergio, am honored to be in your presence."
The System looked thoroughly unimpressed, glancing over at Ye Shengtao as if to ask, Is this guy serious?
Ye Shengtao let out a long sigh. "Please don't encourage him. His ego's already big enough to have its own gravitational pull."
Fergio, oblivious to the commentary, continued, his voice growing more dramatic with each word. "Surely, you must have descended from the heavens to bless us with your wisdom and beauty. Might I ask—what noble name do you go by, divine maiden?"
The System blinked at him, then tilted her head, considering. "You can call me… MILF System."
Ye Shengtao froze. "Wait. What?"
Fergio's eyes practically sparkled. "MILF System, you say? A name as enchanting as the stars themselves!"
Ye Shengtao's face contorted into an expression of disbelief. "You cannot be serious."
The System grinned, clearly enjoying herself. "I mean, if you insist. I've been dealing with all your problems for so long, might as well embrace the role, right?"
Ye Shengtao glared at her. "That's not how systems are supposed to work. You're supposed to guide us, help us out of bad situations, not… this."
Fergio, still holding the System's hand like a love-struck teenager, leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a smooth, velvet-like tone. "My dear MILF System, might I say that you are the most… mature and captivating entity I've ever encountered?"
Ye Shengtao gagged. "Mature? Really? That's what you're going with?"
But Fergio was in full flirt mode now, seemingly unstoppable. "Yes, mature. In the most refined, sophisticated way. A beauty with wisdom beyond her years."
The System's grin widened, and she gave Ye Shengtao a playful wink. "I gotta admit, I didn't expect this when I manifested. But hey, I'll take it."
Ye Shengtao rubbed his hooves against his face. "Please. Just stop. Fergio, stop talking. System, stop… whatever this is. We have more important things to worry about than your weird flirting."
Fergio, not even remotely deterred, turned to Ye Shengtao with a sly smile. "Ah, my bovine companion, surely you can appreciate the wonder of encountering such a divine being."
"I appreciate keeping my lunch where it belongs, thanks," Ye Shengtao muttered, his tail flicking in agitation.
The System giggled, clearly reveling in Fergio's attention. "You know, Fergio, I've been keeping an eye on you for a while. You've got… potential."
Fergio's chest puffed up even more, if that were possible. "Potential, you say? Why, I do aim to be the finest hero in all the land! It's only natural that someone of your caliber would see it."
Ye Shengtao rolled his eyes so hard, he was pretty sure they almost popped out of his head. "Please, just tell us what we need to know and stop encouraging him."
The System, still grinning, finally turned her attention to Ye Shengtao. "Alright, alright. Since you're so eager to get back on track, I'll spill the beans."
She floated over to him, hovering just above the ground as her amused expression faded into something more serious. "So, Ye Shengtao… you're a cow, right?"
Ye Shengtao blinked. "Uh, yes? That much is obvious."
The System's grin returned, a little too mischievous for Ye Shengtao's liking. "Did it ever occur to you what it means to be a cow?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ye Shengtao asked warily.
"Well," she continued, floating closer and circling him like a predator around its prey. "You're a girl. Cows are always."
Ye Shengtao froze. He stared at her, his mind going completely blank. "Wait… what?"
The System stopped in front of him, her hands on her hips. "Yeah. You're female. Have been this whole time."
Ye Shengtao's brain short-circuited. "But… no. That can't be right."
"Pretty sure it is," the System said with a casual shrug. "You've got all the, uh, necessary parts. Don't tell me you never noticed."
Ye Shengtao's eye twitched. "But I—there's no way—what?!"
Fergio, oblivious to Ye Shengtao's internal meltdown, laughed heartily. "Ah, no need to be embarrassed, my dear friend! Why, you're still as brave and noble as ever, regardless of your… feminine nature."
Ye Shengtao glared at him, but his mind was still reeling. "This whole time I've been… a girl?"
The System nodded cheerfully. "Yup. Pretty funny, right? You're in a girl's body, dealing with all this hero nonsense, and you didn't even realize."
Ye Shengtao felt like his reality was crumbling around him. He replayed every interaction, every moment he had in this cursed world, and it all suddenly made horrifying sense. The udder, the soft mooing, the way people kept referring to him in ways that suddenly made him feel uncomfortable…
Fergio clapped him on the back, laughing. "Oh, come now, Ye Shengtao! This is no time for an identity crisis! Gender means little in the face of destiny! Besides, you make for a fine cow, regardless of—"
Ye Shengtao cut him off with a furious snort. " Stop. Just… stop talking."
The System floated next to Fergio, still grinning. "Well, this has certainly been fun. But seriously, you guys need to get your heads back in the game if you want to make it to the Dark Sect's lair."
Ye Shengtao, still recovering from his existential crisis, shot the System a withering glare. "You could've told me this sooner."
The System shrugged again. "Where's the fun in that?"
Fergio, ever the optimist, nodded sagely. "Indeed, the gods work in mysterious ways, and sometimes their truths are revealed at the most opportune moments."
Ye Shengtao's brain had officially checked out. "I'm surrounded by idiots."
The System floated higher, her figure shimmering as she prepared to disappear. "Good luck, you two! And don't worry, Ye Shengtao, being a girl doesn't change who you are."
Ye Shengtao stared after her, mouth agape, as she vanished with a wink and a laugh.
Fergio patted him on the back once more. "Ah, my dear cow friend. The path of the hero is full of surprises, is it not?"
Ye Shengtao groaned. His entire reality had just shattered, and now he was stuck with a love-struck idiot and the knowledge that he'd been a girl cow this entire time.
"Let's just… get to the lair," he muttered, trudging forward.
Fergio, ever the optimist, marched after him, humming a tune. "Onward to destiny, my noble companion! Gender be damned!"
Ye Shengtao muttered under his breath, "Destiny can kiss my tail."