The bandit's name, as they soon learned, was Orin, and his life was even more pathetic than his initial appearance suggested. As they trudged along the dusty road, Fergio took it upon himself to "mentor" their newest companion, much to Ye Shengtao's chagrin.
"So, Orin," Fergio said, slinging an arm around the bandit's bony shoulders, "tell us, what led a fine fellow like yourself to the glamorous profession of banditry?"
Orin glanced nervously at Fergio, then at Ye Shengtao, who was walking slightly ahead, trying to pretend he wasn't part of this ridiculous conversation. "Well, um," Orin began, clearly uncomfortable with the attention, "it's not really glamorous, to be honest."
Fergio gasped in mock outrage. "Not glamorous? Nonsense! Highway robbery has a certain… rustic charm. A noble tradition of rogues and ruffians who live by their wits!"
Orin scratched his head. "Yeah, I don't really think that applies to me. I, uh, didn't really have much choice. You see, I grew up in a village a couple days from here—"
"A village boy!" Fergio interrupted, grinning. "Ah, the simple life! Rolling hills, cows in the fields… well, present company excluded," he added, shooting a mischievous glance at Ye Shengtao.
"Fergio," Ye Shengtao muttered without turning around, "I swear, if you make another cow joke—"
"—Mooove on, then?" Fergio finished with a wink, dodging the rock Ye Shengtao casually lobbed at his head.
Orin blinked, clearly wondering what kind of strange company he'd fallen into. After a moment, he continued. "Yeah, so, my village was, uh, not doing so well. Crops were failing, animals were sick, and then, to make it worse, there was this group of bandits—real bandits—who started terrorizing us."
Fergio leaned in, eyes wide with excitement. "Ah! So you infiltrated the bandits' ranks to take them down from the inside? A masterful strategy!"
Orin gave him a blank look. "Uh, no. I was just trying to survive. I figured if I joined them, they'd stop robbing me, at least. But, uh, turns out they didn't like me very much either."
Ye Shengtao snorted. "So you tried to join the bandits, and even they rejected you?"
"Pretty much," Orin said with a shrug. "They said I wasn't 'cut out for the lifestyle.' Too soft, apparently."
Fergio stared at him in disbelief. "Rejected by bandits? But you have such… raw potential! A certain ruggedness, maybe? No?"
Orin scratched the back of his head. "Not really. I'm more of a… get-robbed kind of guy than a do-the-robbing kind."
Ye Shengtao sighed. "So instead of being robbed by them, you figured you'd just try your luck on random travelers. With that sad little knife of yours."
Orin held up the aforementioned dagger, now dull and slightly bent from years of misuse. "It's not much, but it's all I have. Didn't exactly get a signing bonus when I tried to join the bandits."
Fergio shook his head in disbelief. "No sword? No armor? Not even a sinister hooded cloak?"
Orin looked genuinely puzzled. "Armor? Cloak? Who can afford that?"
Ye Shengtao sighed again, louder this time. "This is the part where you should've figured out that maybe banditry wasn't for you."
Orin shrugged again. "I don't have a lot of options. Tried working as a farmhand, but I'm terrible at farming. Tried working in the village tavern, but I kept spilling ale on people. The village blacksmith took pity on me once, but I almost set his shop on fire, so that didn't last long either."
Fergio winced. "Setting a blacksmith's shop on fire? Impressive in its own way."
Ye Shengtao, however, was already rubbing his temples. "So, your backup career after failing at every other job… was to become a bandit."
Orin nodded sheepishly. "Pretty much."
Fergio looked like he was trying to hold back laughter. "I've heard of people falling into crime due to desperation, but your story, my good man, is more like a slow, tragic tumble into mediocrity."
Orin frowned. "I wouldn't call it mediocrity. I'm just… unlucky."
Ye Shengtao couldn't help herself. "You're not unlucky, Orin. You're just really bad at… well, everything."
Orin looked down at his feet, clearly feeling a bit self-conscious. "Yeah, I guess so."
Fergio, ever the optimist, clapped him on the back. "Nonsense! This is the start of your redemption arc! With me as your mentor and Ye Shengtao as your… uh, very disgruntled companion, you'll soon be a hero!"
Orin blinked. "A… hero?"
"Of course!" Fergio said, puffing out his chest. "Why settle for banditry when you can rise above it all and become a legend? Why steal from peasants when you could be rescuing damsels and slaying dragons?"
Ye Shengtao raised an eyebrow. "He couldn't even steal from us."
Fergio waved this off. "Details. Every hero starts somewhere. Today, Orin, you are but a humble bandit with a bent dagger. But tomorrow? Who knows what greatness awaits!"
Orin's eyes widened, clearly caught up in Fergio's enthusiasm. "I… I could be a hero?"
"Absolutely!" Fergio exclaimed, his voice booming. "A hero with honor! Valor! And—" He paused dramatically, pointing to the sky. "A sense of destiny!"
Ye Shengtao rolled his eyes. "Or, you could just… not be a bandit. Maybe go back to the village and try not setting things on fire this time?"
Orin blinked. "But… what if I mess up again?"
Fergio grabbed him by the shoulders, staring deeply into his eyes. "Then you get back up, my friend! A hero isn't defined by how many times he fails, but by how many times he keeps going!"
Orin looked genuinely inspired now, his chest puffing out slightly. "Yeah… yeah! I could do that!"
"Of course you can!" Fergio said with a grin. "Besides, if you stick with us, you'll learn all the tricks of the trade. Sword fighting, dragon-slaying, cow-wrangling—"
Ye Shengtao turned on him. "Fergio."
"What?" Fergio said, feigning innocence. "It's an important skill."
Orin, seemingly oblivious to the growing tension between his two companions, looked at Ye Shengtao with newfound determination. "So, what do you think? Can I… can I really be a hero?"
Ye Shengtao sighed. "Look, kid, you don't need to be a hero. You just need to stop trying to rob people. It's not working out for you."
Fergio, however, wasn't about to let that slide. "Ye Shengtao! Have some faith in the lad! He has potential! He just needs the right guidance."
Ye Shengtao shrugged. "Fine. If he wants to follow you around and learn how to swing a sword like a drunk, I'm not stopping him."
Orin beamed. "Thanks! I promise I'll do my best!"
Fergio grinned, throwing an arm around Orin's shoulders again. "That's the spirit! Stick with us, and soon enough, you'll be the talk of the kingdom!"
As the trio continued down the road, Orin's step seemed lighter, his head held higher than before. Ye Shengtao, however, couldn't help but feel that he was now stuck with not just one idiot, but two.
"So," Fergio said with a grin, "first lesson of heroism: never underestimate the power of a good cow companion!"
Ye Shengtao groaned. "I hate both of you."
Orin chuckled nervously. "So… do we moo in unison, or—?"
"Don't. Encourage. Him."