Ye Shengtao had been in many life-threatening situations since he'd been thrown into this bizarre world, but this one might just top the list of "dumbest ways to die." Standing in a dimly lit chamber, surrounded by chanting cultists, a skeletal sorcerer, and the ever-annoying presence of Fergio, he could feel his chances of survival slipping away by the second.
"Alright, Shengtao," Fergio whispered, sword raised in what he probably thought was a heroic stance. "When I give the signal, we charge the skeleton guy and—"
"Fergio," Ye Shengtao interrupted, pinching the bridge of his nose, "no one is charging anywhere. That's not a plan. That's you sprinting towards death with a sharp stick."
Fergio looked wounded, clutching his chest with his free hand. "I think it's a solid plan! You've just gotta trust me."
"No. Absolutely not. Trusting you got us here, surrounded by people who probably sacrifice clueless knights for fun."
Fergio huffed. "Well, you don't need to be so negative. Positivity is the first step to victory!"
Ye Shengtao raised an eyebrow. "Is that a proverb from the 'Fergio Guide to Heroic Deaths'?"
Before Fergio could respond, the skeletal figure took another step closer, its hollow voice breaking through their bickering. "Are you done?" it rasped, clearly irritated by their lack of focus on the life-or-death situation at hand.
"Just a moment," Ye Shengtao replied, waving dismissively at the sorcerer. "We're having a conversation here. Manners, please."
Fergio puffed out his chest again. "Yeah! Show some respect for the heroes trying to save the day!"
The skeletal figure's glowing eyes flickered. "Heroes? Is that what you call yourselves? You're nothing but fools."
"Strong words from a guy who looks like a Halloween decoration," Ye Shengtao muttered under his breath.
Fergio, undeterred, pointed his sword dramatically at the figure. "Listen here, bone-face! I've faced dragons, trolls, and at least one very angry goose. I will not be intimidated by you!"
Ye Shengtao rolled his eyes. "First of all, you lost to that goose. And second, please stop antagonizing the skeletal sorcerer who's clearly capable of turning us into ash."
The chanting grew louder, reverberating through the chamber, as if the cultists were drawing power from Fergio's idiocy. Ye Shengtao could feel the pressure building in the air, thick with dark magic. Time was running out.
"Fergio," Ye Shengtao said calmly, trying to inject some reason into the knight's thick skull, "we need a real plan. Something other than charging headfirst into a death spell."
Fergio frowned. "But that's what heroes do! We charge, we fight, we win!"
"Correction," Ye Shengtao said dryly, "that's what stupid heroes do. And they usually die halfway through the charging part."
Fergio opened his mouth to argue, but before he could get another word in, the skeletal figure raised its bony hand once again, signaling the cultists to begin their final incantation.
Orin, who had been standing quietly behind them, whispered, "Uh… should we maybe run now?"
"Finally, someone with a sensible suggestion," Ye Shengtao said, throwing Orin an appreciative glance. "Yes. Running sounds like an excellent idea."
"But we can't run!" Fergio protested, looking aghast at the suggestion. "That's what cowards do!"
"Fergio," Ye Shengtao said, his voice deadpan, "if you don't run, I will personally drag you out of here while screaming about your lack of survival instincts."
Fergio looked torn, glancing between Ye Shengtao and the approaching skeleton. "Fine," he grumbled. "But just know that I'm running under protest."
"Noted."
The skeletal sorcerer, now thoroughly tired of their conversation, unleashed a torrent of dark energy that crackled through the air, aimed directly at Fergio.
"Move!" Ye Shengtao shouted, grabbing Fergio by the collar and pulling him back just as the blast of magic scorched the ground where the knight had been standing.
Fergio stumbled, looking back at the charred spot in shock. "Okay," he said, breathless. "Maybe running isn't such a bad idea after all."
Ye Shengtao sighed. "Glad you're finally on board."
They turned and sprinted towards the exit, with Orin trailing behind, clearly trying not to trip over his own feet. The chanting from the cultists intensified, the air buzzing with magical energy, and Ye Shengtao could feel the ground trembling beneath them.
"This is your fault," Ye Shengtao muttered as they ran.
"My fault?" Fergio exclaimed. "How is this my fault?"
"You're the one who decided we should 'sneak' into the Dark Sect's lair with zero planning, all because you wanted to be a hero."
Fergio pouted, still managing to run at full speed. "Heroes don't need plans. We improvise."
"Clearly, that strategy is going well."
Ahead, the chamber doors loomed large, but just as they reached the threshold, the doors slammed shut with a thunderous boom, cutting off their only escape.
"Great," Ye Shengtao muttered, skidding to a halt. "Now what, Fergio? Got any more brilliant ideas?"
Fergio, to his credit, looked around as if considering his options. "Uh… we could… hide?"
Ye Shengtao stared at him. "Hide? In here? With them chanting dark magic and probably about to summon a demon?"
Fergio blinked. "Okay, so maybe hiding isn't the best idea."
"Brilliant deduction."
The skeletal sorcerer's voice echoed behind them. "There is no escape. Surrender, and your end will be swift."
Fergio, being Fergio, turned to face their adversary with that same ridiculous grin. "Swift, huh? I dunno… I've got pretty good reflexes. Think you could catch me?"
Ye Shengtao groaned, pulling at his hair. "I cannot believe I'm stuck here with you."
Orin, who had somehow managed to stay silent through most of this, chimed in nervously, "Maybe we should try reasoning with them?"
Fergio gave him a puzzled look. "Reasoning? With them? That's not how heroics work."
"Fergio," Ye Shengtao said, exasperated, "please stop saying the word 'heroics.' It's making me want to throw myself into the dark void they're summoning."
The knight puffed up his chest, clearly immune to sarcasm. "I can't help it. Heroism is in my blood."
"Well," Ye Shengtao muttered, "maybe you should get a transfusion."
The skeletal figure advanced once more, its hand glowing with dark energy, preparing another blast.
Ye Shengtao quickly scanned the chamber, searching for anything—anything—that could get them out of this mess. His eyes landed on an old, rusted lever on the far side of the wall.
"Fergio," he whispered urgently, pointing to the lever. "That. Pull that."
Fergio squinted at it. "Why?"
"Because it's either a trapdoor or a secret exit. Or it kills us all instantly. Either way, it's an improvement over our current situation."
Without hesitation, Fergio dashed towards the lever and yanked it down. The ground beneath them rumbled, and for a moment, Ye Shengtao was convinced he'd just triggered their doom.
But then, the floor beneath the skeletal sorcerer opened up, swallowing the figure whole before slamming shut again with a resounding clang.
There was a brief, stunned silence.
"Well," Fergio said, dusting off his hands, "that was easy."
Ye Shengtao stared at him in disbelief. "I… I don't even know how to respond to that."
"You're welcome," Fergio said with a wink.
Ye Shengtao groaned. This is my life now.
Orin, still shaking, gave a small, weak thumbs-up. "Good job… I guess?"
As the silence settled in, Ye Shengtao glanced around. "Let's get out of here before the floor decides to swallow us next."
Fergio grinned and began marching towards the exit. "And thus, the brave heroes live to fight another day!"
Ye Shengtao just sighed.