The ring that the two of us had made together took in the warm spring sunlight, and seemed to sparkle. Feeling somehow triumphant, I put his ring gently on my finger in imitation.
—Of course, it was the index finger of my right hand.
For some reason... Yes. For some reason, that ring fit perfectly on my index finger, as if it had always belonged there. Sensing a touch of destiny in that, I felt my cheeks break into a smile. As I, smiling in spite of myself, stuck out my hand, palm facing the sun, just as he was, my lips quietly parted.
"...Thank you so much, El."
"I don't know why you're thanking me, but... you're welcome."
He—Elt... no, El—flashed an embarrassed smile at my words. And the moment I felt strangely glad at his expression, which looked as if he was happy too, and I felt my chest grow warm—
♠️♥️♣️♦️📖♦️♣️♥️♠️
"...Ah... umm... hey,"
—In the middle of a beautifully paved road, illuminated by the noonday sun, I opened my mouth falteringly.
But try as I might the words would not come out beyond that point. No, I no longer even knew what I had been going to say. In my heart was the perhaps unreasonable but compulsive feeling that if I did not say something here, I would regret it, and nothing else.
"...Mary."
—As I stood paralyzed like that, El turned a troubled expression towards me.
I certainly hadn't wanted to make El troubled like that. It was true that I had spoken selfishly to him more than once, but that was because I knew El would accept it to the bitter end. I hadn't wanted to make him look like that... as if he didn't know what to do.
—And yet... I didn't know what I should do either, and...
Even though it must have been the same for El... No. Rather, even though it must have been far harder on him than it was on me, I only made him troubled, and could do nothing. The moment that tears seemed about to come to my eyes at my own wretchedness, his hand gently brushed my head.
"It's alright."
"Ngh...!"
—Even I could tell that he was putting on a brave face.
After all, his family, which had always served mine, had been suddenly dismissed. It seemed an unbelievably poor way to treat servants who, far from committing any conspicuous errors, had steadily accumulated merit.
Not to mention... normally, it was customary to mediate a servant's next place of employment after dismissing them.
But my father, who had dismissed his parents, had merely given them notice that they were dismissed, without mediating their next place of work.
—That poor treatment, which might even be called abnormal, had given rise to nasty rumors, and...
Rumors that his parents had been embezzling our family funds and the like were the least of them. It was even whispered within the estate that El's father had committed adultery with mother. Of course, I gave no credence to such gossip. Still, the problem was that such rumors in and of themselves linked his to ill repute, so...—
"Father told me. He said we'll definitely pull through somehow. So, I'm sure everything will be fine."
"But still...!"
It was true that El's father was a fine person. I too respected him; he not only performed his work perfectly, but even taught me to play in his unoccupied time. Still, could he, who had continued as a servant for decades, go on living now that the path of a servant had been closed to him by infamy? That would probably be... very difficult.
"...I'm sorry."
"You've got nothing to apologize for, Mary. And besides, I'm sure the master has his reasons too."
—El smiled at me reassuringly.
He had been driven out of his home without even being told the reason why, and must also have been uneasy about his livelihood in a new world, but he was still concerned for me. I felt grateful to him, but on the other hand, I felt a strong pain in my chest. A feeling of powerlessness was slowly but steadily coiling itself around my heart, so that I wanted to bawl. I'm sure it must have been because faint tears were coming to El's eyes.
—Even he... can't be unaware of the rumors.
El respected his parents even more than I did. There was no way that their being spoken badly of could fail to hurt him. And that wasn't counting the fact that that El himself had come in for ridicule as a result of his parents' ill repute. He was the same age as me, and it must have been impossible for his heart to go uninjured by the gossip of rumor-mongering servants.
—If I had power, I would make sure he never had to make a face like this, but...
El had always protected me. No matter when, El had been standing in front of me and leading me onward. It was the first time he had shown me such a pained expression. He looked worn-out, somehow. I wanted to show him my appreciation, but I had nothing to give. The influence to make father reverse his decision; the power to make the servants' rumors stop; the magic to heal his heart... I possessed none of these.
"Besides... a happy face suits you better than looking like you're about to cry, Mary."
"Oo..."
—Those words finally broke down my self-control.
So far I had desperately avoided crying, but now my eyes grew moist, and tears fell from them in large drops. I wiped more than once at the corners of my eyes in an attempt to restrain them, but the tears flowing down my cheeks absolutely refused to stop. El saw the tears which would not stop although I scolded myself that he was the one who should be crying, and quietly withdrew a handkerchief from his pocket.
"Honestly... You are such a crybaby, Mary."