I would sometimes go for weeks without writing.
I wish sorely that I hadn't.
Life is far too short folks.
All of these little stories and these memories are important.
I didn't write anything between September 2012 and November 2012.
That is wild.
While there are probably longer gaps to be noted, that really sucks lbvs.
So many days gone...
Events.
Things done and said and witnessed.
I really need to write more things down.
I will get to it.
My word.
But enough of that.
You all came for the next chapter, and I shall provide!
Enjoy.
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November 11th, 2012.
Journal #050.
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And so life rolls on.
Halo 4 was released!!!
-Nov 6th-
It's an amazing game.
They did change a lot up, but it's good nonetheless.
What's new?
I'm dating a woman named XXXXX.
Interesting.
Work is going pretty well.
I've been there for over a year!
I'm very excited about that.
Shows that I CAN do it,
I CAN be better.
My past is partially in shambles.
Oh how reading back through the pages has opened my eyes.
I need to be stronger.
More vigilant.
I need to not read into women so much.
So fast.
I need to let myself feel...
Pain.
Sorrow.
Loneliness.
I need to change.
I will.
I MUST.
-----
And so that summer had come to a swift and climactic end, huh?
I had been so madly in love with that lonely librarian...
Until I was not.
More accurately, she was no longer interested in me as a plaything.
I found that moving on was a bit easier when I plunged myself into gaming and writing.
I did a lot of writing lol.
-Halo has always been one of my favorite games, and it still is lol.
-The new woman was also quite helpful in me moving on lbvs. This one was not a rebound, and I found myself falling in love with her at a pace that I thought was -at first- quite manageable lol
Our delusions are so real!
-I was excited about hitting the one-year mark with the job I had at that time because I had gotten to a point where I would simply leave a job and find something new if I was not happy.
I had always been rather self-aware, and that made it so that I would tolerate very little fuckery.
I had too much respect for myself to stay where I was not appreciated.
-I also struggled with feelings of inadequacy for quite some time. That feeling haunts me still from time to time.
-I had a horrible habit of letting myself be far too easily drawn in by women. It was a habit that had gotten me used quite a bit in my pursuit of love and affection. I had an even worse habit of not giving myself enough time to heal properly before I would dive into another relationship. One of these two things still rings true these days lbvs.
-I've learned to slow up and allow myself to really feel the things that I am going through or experience, you know?
Life is far too short...do what you need for your heart and mind.
That is so very important.
Let's try to make the best of 2025, yeah?
See you soon folks.
Safe travels.
-Redd.