Life is never easy when you need it to be, you know?
I hope you all have been well, each and every one of you.
You who are reading this.
You who are being read too.
This little series of mine has been doing very well, thanks to you all.
Just a few dozen reads a day, and you know what?
That is so much more than I ever expected.
Thank you all for continuing to return to this weird little tale that is my past life lol.
As stated several times before, I am sure that young me would have appreciated all of your ears.
And open minds lol.
I will leave you all to it, I know what you came for!
Enjoy.
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May 13th, 2012.
Journal #036.
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Went up North this past weekend.
It was...
Very nice.
Very tranquil.
XXXXX is gone.
Good?
Bad?
I like XXXXX, but we will see where that leads.
So far.
Not so far.
And now XXXXX...
She is amazing.
I will not fall.
I am solid.
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-The first "XXXXX" is the young lady that I was dating at that time, the one who I had meet at that wild little party of five a few chapter back.
I don't remember all of that weekend, but parts do come to me.
Shards even.
I recall burning seval journals and notebooks.
I remember an old friend of mine telling me not too...
I don't remember breaking up with that young lady, really I don't.
If you are reading this by some crazy chance, I am really sorry.
I know that the summer of 2012 had to have been quite difficult for you, it was most definitely a wild one for me, and I kinda dragged you into it.
For that, I am deeply and profoundly sorry.
My chaos was my own, and I should have kept it that way.
-As for that 2nd "XXXXX"? That was the loner at the orgy lol
I had found myself slowly but surely falling head over heels for her in the wake of -and even before- my break-up with the young lady that I was with.
I know, and knew then that this was wrong, but I didn't care.
I was so smitten.
So captivated.
So infatuated.
So quixotic...
I was trying to hasten the healing process from the pain that I had suffered at the hands of my most recent break-up...the one that had torn my world asunder just the summer before.
It wasn't very fair of me to entertain dates while I was still so far gone in my grief and pain.
I really should have taken the time to heal and work on myself before I jumped head-first back onto that battlefield that we call love.
But fuck man, I was still only like 22 years old lmao.
I think I can give myself a bit of a break.
I had so much in common with her that I could just feel this strange sort of synergy between us, and I found myself caring very little about the guy behind bars that she was dating.
I was old enough to know, yet too young to understand, or even care at times about the lines of mortality, you know?
We have all be there, well...unless you are significantly younger than I happen to be.
I was born in '88 lol.
What a time to be a baby, yeah?
I have no idea...I was a baby lol.
I think crack was the big thing back around that time, right?
Crack and weird dances that required one to gyrate while swinging ones hips?
Lol.
-The 3rd "XXXXX" was a woman that I had met while in that shit-show of a place that someone, somewhere had deemed a "college" for pre-med studies.
She had been the schools librarian and proprietor of all of our other medical materials, and I had been captivated by her from the moment that I had locked eyes with her.
Oh, I am SURE that a good part of this journal will cover that "chapter" of my life, for better of worse.
That is definitely a story for another time.
It is a very important story, at that.
I had promised myself that I would not fall in love with her.
I knew that It would not turn out well for me.
I was so far from solid lol.
I will leave that for another day and another story, yeah?
I will see you all when/If you return for the next chapter lol.
See you then folks!
Or not!?
-Redd.