Reading this old and tattered journal of mine for the first time since I wrote all of this stuff has been very eye opening, to say the least.
You know that feeling that you get when you get a sudden whiff of someone's perfume, and it launches you back in time for a few seconds?
Seconds that seem like an eternity, and are often far to palpable?
When you taste something that teleports you back to childhood for a handful of moments?
Fuck it, have you ever had a weird and uncomfortable episode of Deja vu?
That is where I am with nearly every page turned of this journal, and it is killing me softly here folks!
Trekking through these memories has triggered so many random thoughts and feels that I probably should have addressed back when they were first felt, yeah?
But shit, I am only human.
And only 35 -as I write this at least.-
I still have time to look into therapy or whatnot, should I feel the need.
But in many ways, this has all been more humorous than heavy.
More therapeutic in itself than detrimental, by far.
I think that the tone may stay that way, at least I think.
I feel a shift coming in the story lol.
This pregnancy arc has been making me loose a bit of sleep in all honesty.
Why?
I think we will know with a bit more time.
I say we, because as crazy as it may sound, I really don't recall a lot of the finer details, you know?
But this...oh this has definitely been helpful in drawing memories to the surface.
Hmmm.
See you on the flip side folks.
Enjoy.
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April 2nd, 2012.
Journal #026.
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Ah but this past weekend...
Very little to be said besides:
AMAZING.
I had a really good time at a college party that XXXXX invited me to.
It was a very, very, very, very good time.
I met a girl, her name forbidden...
Ugh...XXXXX.
Why?
IDK but she's really cool and we all had a very good time.
I'd do it again.
Any time.
-----
You know?
This was one of the best nights of my young life.
I have a huge store of fond and emotionally valuable memories that revolve around this particular "season" in my life.
You all have no idea lol.
This particular weekend?
That was...man.
Okay, I'll just tell y'all a quick story.
SO.
We had sex.
All of us.
That's a story for another time!
You all have my word that I will tell you the whole of this story, and all of the others that I have left you with in the past chapters lol
I will!
Maybe "Stories for another time." will be the title of the next book after this volume of O.J.M. has been completed lol.
But I won't leave you all hanging like that.
That night consisted of myself, my Godbrother, and three junior year college girls from one of the many local campuses that litter Wisconsin, a couple of bottles of mid-shelf liquor, a long game of strip-never-have-I-ever, and a bedroom full of bodies, heat, Aether, and orgasms.
It was quite a night I tell you lol.
We were all safe and showered and such, so bah to anyone who would venture to state or imagine otherwise.
It's okay to be promiscuous folks, but be as safe as possible, yeah?
I will also say this: That first part is a bit of an exaggeration.
We didn't ALL have sex.
Four of us had sex, and we were paired up. We didn't share or anything, it wasn't that sort of orgy lol We all just were in the same bed is all.
The last lone chick just spectated and did what she wanted with herself.
I was honestly far too distracted by who I had before and beneath me to pay much attention to what everyone else was doing, and the lights were off as well.
The young lady that I was with that night would end up becoming a bit ore than just a friend later down the line.
Her name was the same as the young lady who had broken my heart the summer before, so it was kinda hard for me just being around her at times. Alas, this XXXXX was White, while the other was Black, so outside of a shared name, they were very much different lol.
Man, I did a bit more then I remember at times when I was in my early 20s.
Sheesh.
Would I do it again?
I said I would, didn't I?
I am also 13 years older, and not as...sexually adventurous as I once was.
Lort have merbies.
I am no Diddy folks lol.
Nor was anyone at that "party" drugged or beyond permission.
Stay safe out there people. We live in a weird world, yeah?
See you soon folks.
-Redd.