I woke up in bead of perspiration as I stared blankly into the night. It was still midnight, and everyone except Lana who was by my side was asleep. I realised I had been whimpering so loud that I woke him. How could I not?
Everything seemed so real. Everything that had happened kept rephrasing in my mind making it very real.
"It was just a dream dear," Lana consoled.
Her words fell on deaf ears as my thought were still fixed on the dreaded nightmare. For the first time after so many years, I felt the need to find him. It was to give me an assurance that he indeed wasn't married. Brian was not having another family.
Lana tried to assure me everything was well and all was just a dream, but I was not having it. It felt so real. I was dreaming yet I saw myself going through the ordeal. He did not follow me. He did not run after me. Brian just watched me as I disappeared out of his life.
It was after so many years we saw each other, yet he did not seem to care about my existence. The thought could not stop worrying me.
I had to tap my face countless times to remind me it was all just a dream. Like Lana had put it, all I went through was just a bad dream.
The e sight of Prince bundled beside me, washed the feeling of uneasiness. I reluctantly went back to sleep, but made a mental note to seek an emergency leave from work. There was no way I was resuming work in the state I was in.
Lana had suggested that the result of the nightmares I had was because I was overworking myself. She was an elderly woman whom I had no doubt about her conclusion.
Morning came and I was awoken by my baby. I took him in my arms smooching his faces with plenty of kisses. The more I held him, the more I felt somehow lonely. I felt as if I was missing something. I was thankful to Sebastian for allowing me to take a day off to rest. Being a Friday morning, I opted to do something that could rejuvenate my spirit.
I called Lana to indulge her in what I could do to forget about the heinous nightmare I just had. Lana was of the idea I go out and have some me time. It had been a while since I took myself out on a date. Her idea sounded too good and at the same time pretty scary.
Lana knew very well how my life had taken a drastic change ever since I got involved with Brian. I did everything to avoid public places where I could evoke my recognition. The last thing I wanted was to engage in scandals in the new city.
After much thought, I agreed to Lana's idea. She had suggested I take Denis with me which sounded as a very good idea.
Denis and I got ready at exactly 6 pm. Our plan was to have dinner at the P hotel, go for a walk afterwards, and perhaps some shopping. My bodyguard was aware that my baby's birthday was due, and had been pestering to make plans for it.
I was hoping to shop a few things for my child's upcoming birthday, before we called it a day. Dennis and I pulled at P hotel where we were welcomed to our VVIP table I had reserved earlier.
We were gisting about everything and anything we saw of interest. In a few minutes, I found a lot about Denis, whom I had hired without doing a thorough background check. Although yet to marry, Dennis was a great man. I wished for him to find d someone who could not abandon him when he needed him the most.
The whole evening I had forgotten about Brian and the horrible nightmare I had. Not until Denis mentioned his ideal personality he was looking for a partner. For a minute, I stopped think I might have been the problem. If I were good and had behaved like a submissive woman should, perhaps my Brian would have stayed.
The scary thought of him and another woman again flipped through my mind. I could not bring myself to think of Brian with anyone else who was not me. It then dawned on me that the reason I was still having nightmares about him was because I still held onto him. Even after months bapart, I still held onto that miniscule hope of him showing up.
"Perhaps it was time to let him go. " Lana had suggested.
"Are you thinking about him?"
Denis had noticed I was not present in our conversation.
Instead of giving him a direct answer, my head hangedblow. He knew the response I was going to give him. No day had passed without me thinking about the father of my baby.
Many times I had wandered of his reaction when he would come to know he had a child. Would he accept us? Would he take us back? These were the two most wary questions that bothered me.
Brian was the man of my life, letting him go would mean killing apart of me which I was not ready to do.
Despite my conflicting thoughts, Lana's powerful words occupied the big part of my mind, overpowering every other thought I had about Brian.
Perhaps it was time to let him go.
I smiled at Denis, and proudly responded, no.
"It's time I let go. A year and months had passed, and Brian had no plans of coming back to us. I needed to let him go. For the betterment of my emotional and mental health, and that of our baby, it was time I let him go. "
Denis was stunned at my outburst. He sure did not next expect that. What he did next left me stunned.
He hailed me for choosing to make such a brave decision. He even went ahead to assure me that I would find a good man who would love me together with my child. His words were very comforting, although I was not ready yet for another man.
As we continued our blissful evening, it was cut short by a person I discovered his voice to be that of Damon. This man seemed to pop up everywhere I was.
I turn to have a look at him when his deep voice greeted us.
"Can I join you?"
Indeed this was going to be along evening.