Bad Romance, in the year 2020
Bellatrix crowed with laughter, her wand literally sticking through the chest of her mark, his blood jetting out and covering her in a warm red mist.
"Now that's class," Rodolphus called, his laughter mingling appreciatively with his wife's as he came to stand beside her. His look was admiring as he took in the way the blood caused her robes to cling to her figure. "Don't change your clothes before bed," he requested huskily.
"I can't go in to report looking like this so you'll have to do it alone," she reasoned, drawing her wand from the dead Muggle's chest with a satisfying sucking sound.
"Leave the wand bloody too,"' Rodolphus said, obviously still distracted by romantic thoughts. "I like the wand bloody when you Crucio me. I think it actually enhances it."
Bellatrix frowned in thought. "Hmm, that's interesting!"
"I want you riding me with that bloody wand in one hand," Rodolphus said, leaning toward her to growl his request low into her ear. Bellatrix felt herself shivering in anticipation of a long night of satisfaction.
"Oh yes," she agreed breathily. "Get to the stupid Ministry, and make your report. I'll meet you at the manor."
They lived in the Lestrange family home with Rabastan. Most people believed Bellatrix Lestrange had actually gotten herself killed by stupid Molly Weasley, and that Rod and Rab still rotted away in Azkaban, while the truth was they were now Ministry Shadow Ops. They were fully trusted after giving Unbreakables to never betray the Ministry.
They didn't do this out of any sense of loyalty, of course. They did it to be free of Azkaban… and to live. The Ministry had finally wised up and decided using their abilities was better than letting them rot in prison. They'd struck their deal in nineteen ninety-eight, and aside from the occasional nightmare, hadn't looked back.
Truth be told, they usually enjoyed their work. It was often bloody, involving torture and frequently some killing too! They got to do what they loved legally! The Muggle they'd just killed had discovered magic and was attempting to blackmail the Ministry so he had to go. He was wealthy and could have some backing if allowed to live. To make matters worse, he'd gotten his hands on some potion that prevented him from being Obliviated. Bella and Rod to the rescue again!
First they'd tortured him, but he'd had frustratingly little information. When asked repeatedly who had given him the Anti-Obliviate potion, he'd just said the blonde girl. Then he screamed 'the blonde girl,' and at last cried 'the blonde girl,' but never had anything else to add no matter how much pain Rodolphus and Bellatrix issued forth. He provided no name, only saying she'd promised him power and equality.
Equality…as if stupid filthy Muggles didn't have that and more while wizards skulked in the shadows like fearful rats. Was Gellert Grindelwald interested in doing anything about that situation? To Bellatrix's disgust, the answer to that was a resounding no. The man didn't even have an excuse. He wasn't dead! Not that being dead was an excuse either for some, because Bellatrix knew some very prolific ghosts, some who had accomplished more after their death than before it. However, Grindelwald wasn't dead.
No. Instead he lived the high life while pretending to be his own son to anyone who asked. He ran a shop in Knockturn Alley with Blaise Zabini called Enchanted Odds. When the two weren't there, they were traveling the world, probably doing drugs, and one another, while seeking rare magical artifacts…in other words, doing nothing of value for wizarding society whatsoever.
Rod Apparated away with the Muggle's body, and Bellatrix Apparated directly into the front hall of Raven's Nest, the Lestrange family manor.
"Bell? Rod? That you two?" Rabastan called from the direction of the library.
Bellatrix frowned. He was home early. "You got it half right," she said, wandering in that direction, sticky, blood coated wand in hand.
"What are you doing home so early?" Rabastan was lounging on his favorite chaise, a glass of bourbon in hand.
"Ooh, you look like you had fun," he said. "My day wasn't half bad either," he added with a smirk. "And I got done early because I left hours before the two of you, if you recall."
Now Bellatrix nodded. "Yes, that's true."
"I was supposed to get information from that new bird that just started working at The Three Broomsticks about whoever is having trolls smuggle magical drugs."
Bellatrix nodded. Who would want to take any drugs that trolls had had their hands all over anyway, she wondered with an inner shudder. "Yes, I remember. Did you get anywhere?"
Rabastan grinned. "I thought we'd get further with pillow talk so we started with drinks for breakfast, then her bed. She thought it was hot that I have a Rabastan Lestrange obsession, and that I like pretending to be him."
Bellatrix's brows shot up. "Why would she think that?"
"Because I told her so," he said with a chuckle.
"Why?"
"To see what she thinks about us for fun, and…in case I accidentally call my own name out during sex."
Bellatrix burst out laughing and shook her head, causing blood matted hair to stick to her cheek.
"I mean all that self-pleasuring in Azkaban made me really learn to appreciate my own skills," Rabastan explained, which only made her laugh all the harder.
Rabastan shrugged, taking a sip from his glass. "She did alright. I mean being as good as me is a high standard to live up to, considering all the practice I've had. It was my trick for keeping the Dementors away, you know…happy feelings and all that."
Bellatrix shuddered. Even now, after all this time, the mere mention of Dementors could claw at her very soul. How she'd hated that place. She and Rod had kept one another sane, even if they could only talk, or rather shout from cell to cell. She spoke to her brother-in-law to avoid thinking about it now. "That's very nice."
"Yeah… I figure I'll know the girl I'm supposed to marry when she can get me off better than I can," Rabastan said with a chuckle.
"On that note, I'm going upstairs to wait for your brother, so don't keep him with your chatter when he arrives," Bellatrix said.
Only when she was upstairs in her and Rod's bedroom did she remember that she hadn't told Rabastan of the strange things the Muggle had said under torture about the blonde girl giving him the Anti-Obliviate potion. That was alright, though, she'd tell him later with Rod. Maybe over breakfast tomorrow, because she doubted she and Rod would be coming back down again tonight.
Bellatrix relished lounging on the bed in sticky, blood-clotted robes for a few minutes, but within half an hour the stuff was beginning to dry and flake. Where the hell was Rod? As if summoned by her impatience, he burst through the bedroom door with a baffled and annoyed expression on his face.
"The fucking Ministry wants us to report now! It seems something is up, and they want to brief us or question us, I'll be damned if I know which. It was all hush-hush and weird," he complained. "As soon as I made my report they said both of us were required immediately for whatever the hell is going on."
Bellatrix made a face, frustration rising. "So they're ruining our romantic night," she said in disgust. "Just like the bloody stupid Ministry." Rising with a toss of her blood-spattered tresses, she began tugging the robe over her head. "I'll just get cleaned up first, I suppose. Stupid bloody..."
"They said there isn't time. Just come as you are," Rod said, his lips twisting into a smirk of satisfaction. "I did warn them. And at least you'll still be all sexy for later."
When the two of them strolled into the Head Auror's office, they were met at once by two underlings. "We need you separated for security reasons," one thin, rat-faced man with way too much self-importance said. "We will question one while the other waits. You first, please, Mrs. Lestrange."
Bellatrix was already scowling, unease and anger rising together in her belly like two pissed off phoenixes lifting off from the ashes of her very annoyed mood. She didn't like separating from Rod. Ever. They just didn't. They were always together for everything. When they separated, bad shit happened.
Like when they were in separate cells in Azkaban, even though side by side, the Dementors got at them. Had they been allowed to share a cell, they could've just shagged through it all and blocked whatever the Dementors tried to send at them.
Together they were worse than any Dementor, after all…a true force to be reckoned with. The Ministry separating them didn't feel right. Not one bit.
"Why would you need to do that?" she demanded. "We've done nothing wrong!"
The man gave a nervous chuckle. "Fancy a Lestrange saying that!" His face fell in a few seconds once he realized he was the only one laughing. "It's simply protocol, Mrs. Lestrange. No one is saying you did anything," he said reassuringly, but Bellatrix was not reassured.
Giving him a scowl that she hoped would curdle his blood she swept forward, flaunting her bloodied robes and hair. The fact the blood was drying wasn't sexy at all, but she supposed she could wet herself down with a little water later to make it work for her and Rod's romantic evening. Which they would not allow the stupid Ministry to ruin!
"Fine, then, let's get this over with. You're screwing up our evening plans so let's make this fast." She nearly kept herself from shooting a worried look at Rod over her shoulder but didn't quite make it. As the Auror underling led her into the back office, she looked. Rod's face was as pensive as hers.