Rodolphus Apparated them out of the Ministry without another word. Bellatrix stood stiffly while he flicked his wand at the layers of hexes that locked the door of their family manor.
"Want a drink, then," he asked as the heavy oak door swung open with a properly menacing creak. Bellatrix shrugged as she brushed past him to walk inside. Swearing, Rodolphus allowed the door to slam shut behind him as he followed after her. "I don't know why you're so angry with me. My asshole would've hurt more if he'd called on me for the task, and yet I still would've done it. My asshole feels it is more important considering how torn it would be."
Normally, Bellatrix would've laughed and maybe said something snarky to top Rod's comment. Right now, though, she just didn't have the heart for it. "You shouldn't have been alright with it if he had wanted to drill your asshole, Roddy," she said dully.
"I'm just saying it isn't as if I would have expected you to do something I wouldn't have done," Rodolphus attempted to clarify. "It isn't as if either of us would've liked it. We'd have just suffered through it because he was him, and one didn't fucking tell him 'no' if you recall." Rodolphus let out an explosive breath. "Damn, Bella, you're all angry at me over something that didn't even happen! The Dark Lord probably never even beat his prick off before, much less put it into anyone. He was above all that and just wanted to focus on dominating the wizarding world...with his clout, not his prick."
"Did he even have one," Rabastan asked, wandering into the front hall to join them. "And why are we speaking of the Dark Lord's prick?"
"I don't know," Rodolphus grumbled. "Ask Bella." He stalked toward the kitchen, and Bellatrix paused in the front hall, uncertain what she wanted to do next. If she went upstairs to continue giving Rodolphus the silent treatment, she'd be left alone in her own head, and for some reason that she did not fully understand, that was a frightening prospect at present. Instead she turned to Rabastan, who was still waiting for her explanation. "Some girl thinks I shagged the Dark Lord and that I am her mother."
He snickered. "This is some kind of joke or is said girl off her rocker? If it is a joke, it's very poorly done. Both of you have done far better without even trying."
She sighed. "If it is a joke, it isn't ours." She filled him in on their unpleasant little interlude at the Ministry, including the fact her mind had not been tampered with in the late nineties, but had been, along with Rodolphus's, in the late seventies.
"It's quite likely yours was as well, as we were always together back then," she added, almost happy to share the unpleasant weight of dread with another. A pity it didn't make it any lighter in her mind.
"Does that mean the two of you won't be in the mood for company," Rabastan asked. "Because Kreacher's little friend is here waiting in the parlor with big news."
"What news," Bellatrix asked. The only friend Kreacher had who was particularly little was Kereston Boxwood, a tiny blonde girl who worked in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes at the Ministry and had aspirations of becoming Minister. She was a former Slytherin, of which Bellatrix approved, but one of her goals for improving the Ministry involved killing high security prisoners rather than locking them up only for them to escape later and return to the crimes that got them locked up in the first place. The concept Bella could admire, but if the three Lestranges were still prisoners, they'd be the first to die were this carried out... and that was just no good.
"I think she should explain that," Rabastan replied carefully, and Bellatrix felt a tightening of annoyance in her stomach. Hadn't they had enough rubbish today? "Tell her we'll be right in," she told her brother-in-law, then hurried into the kitchen to take Rodolphus up on that drink. They'd probably need it.
"We'll both want that drink extra strong," she told her husband as she entered the kitchen. "Boxwood is here about something."
"What's going on now," Rodolphus asked, reaching for another glass.
"I have no idea. We'll be finding out together."
Rodolphus glanced over at her with a smile. "As it has always been, we do everything together. We're good, right? I mean nothing even bloody happened, Bella."
She sighed. "What if he'd wanted to shag me, and I wasn't willing... Rodolphus, I wouldn't have been." His next words mattered a lot. She needed to know he wouldn't have simply stood by while the Dark Lord forced her to do anything, no matter what he was apparently willing to put his own poor asshole through!
Rodolphus gave a wide grin. "We'd go out together in a blaze of glory, babe. Because I'd never stand by while you had to do anything you didn't want to, and you know he'd have killed us for saying no, but we'd at least die together."
Bellatrix felt a stupid lump rising in her throat, but she merely nodded. "Good. Now hurry up with that drink."
He did and soon they were walking into the parlor, each holding a large crystal goblet shaped as a skeletal hand clutching a skull. Rabastan lounged on the sofa while the little blonde sat on the edge of an armchair looking edgy. To her credit, the sight of the Lestrange couple still spattered in dried blood from the day's work didn't cause her to bat an eye. Perhaps that came from living with two vampires, Bellatrix guessed.
"What's up," Rodolphus asked, flashing a charming smile.
"You've heard of Delphini," Kereston asked directly.
"A little," Rod answered carefully. "None of us shagged Voldemort if that's what you're about to ask."
He and Bellatrix joined Rabastan on the sofa as Kereston looked on. "I wasn't about to ask that, actually, but that's good to know." She chuckled. "According to reports, she's blonde and doesn't look anything like you or Voldemort either." Her last comment was directed to Bellatrix. The statement caused Bellatrix's head to snap up from where she'd been staring into the depths of her drink.
"Wait, a blonde girl?"
Kereston nodded. "Yes. Why?"
Bellatrix exchanged a look with Rodolphus. "Because the Muggle we tortured and killed today, for your precious Ministry, said the blonde girl had given him the potion that would not allow his mind to be Obliviated. In essence, she killed him. Do you believe that blonde girl and this Delphini person could be one and the same?"
Kereston looked grim as she nodded. "It is highly possible, I'm afraid."
"So that's why you're here," Bellatrix asked, lifting her glass to take a soothing sip.
Kereston nodded. "Yes, but at this point I'm not on official Ministry business...yet." As the three Lestranges watched, the small blonde drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, steeling herself to continue. "I came here on Kreacher and Regulus's request. If you aren't interested in what I'm about to share, I ask that you don't stand in our way."
Bellatrix blinked in confusion. "Sure...why the hell we would care what the three of you are up to is beyond me." The other two Lestranges nodded.
Kereston swallowed. "It isn't just the three of us...it's us, some other Dark wizards, some goblins, elves, and even a few Acromantulas."
Rabastan snorted. "It's not an orgy, is it? That really may have to be stopped."
Rodolphus snickered. "Bro really needs to get laid... but it isn't, is it?"
Kereston shook her head in annoyance. "Of course not! It's just that if this Delphini is going to be another big wizarding threat, as it seems she is, we're not playing the same inept Ministry games that were played when Voldemort terrorized us all twice."
Bellatrix nodded. "Sounds good." She gave the blonde an amused look, but when she said no more, Kereston continued.
"We're going to be on this situation, and that requires harsh measures because many wizards aren't going to do what's necessary."
"Got it," Rodolphus said. "It all sounds logical so far. But what do goblins and such have to do with it?"
"Have none of you ever considered how much more powerful goblins and elves are than wizards, especially when it comes to some specific spells and branches of magic," Kereston asked. The three exchanged a glance.
"Most elves are silly little buggers without the brains the gods gave a grasshopper," Rabastan said. "Kreacher being an exception, of course," he added, before the blonde, Kreacher's best friend other than Regulus, could angrily spring to his defense. "And goblins are traitorous little buggers. That is what we know. It's dangerous to fuck with them too much unless you're into getting burned. While it may sound kinky, I played around with hot wax once with this one girl and trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be."
Kereston raised her hands to cover her ears. "Stop, please."
Rabastan snickered gleefully, settling back on the sofa in satisfaction, proud that he'd upset the nice girl.
If one could call a best friend of Kreacher's a nice girl, Bellatrix thought in dry amusement. Still, a human befriending an elf was special enough, she supposed. When Regulus returned, revealing that he'd faked his death by becoming a vampire, he had reunited with a few choice friends in an attempt to help in the fight against the Dark Lord. This had been in Harry Potter's final year at Hogwarts...the one he didn't really show up for.
Of course everywhere Regulus went, Kreacher was sure to go. Kereston was in the social circle with the children of a few of Regulus's school friends so ended up meeting him. Seeing that Kreacher did not always seem entirely comfortable, the blonde had, for some reason, gone out of her way to befriend him. The only major things Bellatrix saw that the two had in common was a love of words – both talked more than anyone else she'd ever seen – and a fondness for the Dark Arts.
As Kereston worked at the Ministry, it was she who helped Regulus and Kreacher sneak into Auror Headquarters so that Regulus could vampirically HeadFuck the Head Auror into using the Lestranges for Shadow Ops. Though she was Kreacher's best friend due to the elf traveling in social circles with Regulus, Bellatrix still didn't know her very well. They hadn't really bonded and generally traveled in different social circles, Kereston's larger than Bellatrix's. Not to mention, Bellatrix rarely formed friendships with other women for some reason.
Pretending to be dead did narrow the hell out of one's social circle for one thing, but, in truth, Bellatrix had never really had that many friends. When it came to it, she preferred to hang with her husband and brother-in-law, the two people who truly got her. Regulus and Kreacher were alright too, at least for short periods. The fact that they were apparently coming out of the woodwork to get themselves involved in politics was interesting.
"Goblins are willing to do what needs to be done, and elves are strong enough to do what needs to be done," Kereston told them. "We're not dealing with another insane wizarding tyrant, we're going to overthrow the current Ministry and make a better one."
Rabastan grinned. "Well damn! Why didn't you just say so? Of course we're in!" He glanced around at his elder brother and sister-in-law. "Right? We're in, aren't we, because this sounds like fun."
"Aside from the Unbreakable Vow they made us take, sure, that sounds delightful," Bellatrix said drily.
Rodolphus nodded. "It does sound interesting, but that vow involves us never betraying the current Ministry on pain of death. As you've likely observed, we aren't interested in dying."
Kereston nodded. "Of course, we've got that covered. For one thing, you won't be doing anything against the current Ministry, and, for another, we're going to get that vow taken care of for you if you agree to support our cause. Regulus and Kreacher did not wish to have to work against you so wanted you given the opportunity to stand with us. If you're willing, we'll take care of that vow, and you can make a different vow to me afterward."
"To you?" Bellatrix blinked.
Kereston nodded. "When our plan is in place, I will become the new Minister. It should happen by tomorrow morning."