"We knew about the Horcruxes... No," Bellatrix corrected herself, still struggling to process the information that had always been waiting, locked away within her mind. "We knew about the one Horcrux... The one that ruined Kreacher and Regulus and nearly cost Kreacher his life. Regulus eventually went to his father about it, and that's how we found out."
Bellatrix felt her breath coming faster as she spoke. She kept her gaze on her husband, struggling to hold onto the here and now as her memories and emotions wandered to a far more unpleasant period in their lives.
Drawing in a deep breath, she forced herself to go on. "Uncle Orion thought we should know who we were serving, because it turned out none of us truly did. He came with Regulus and Kreacher, and they told us all of it. Of the Dark Lord's mission for Kreacher, how he was left to die, and finally about the Horcrux. Regulus would've been frightened enough of the Dark Lord to continue serving him in spite of his Horcrux, because we all knew there was no going back once one took the Dark Mark. The fact that he would've killed Kreacher while knowing how much he meant to Regulus, though...it sent him over the edge a little."
"You lot actually cared about that?" The dry question came from Zabini. He stood leaning against the door, expression cool and removed as always.
Bellatrix frowned. "We all liked Kreacher. He was always better... Somehow more than many others of his kind, a cut above the rest, as it were. So no, of course, we didn't think he deserved to die like that when he'd committed no wrong. More than that, though, the way he treated Kreacher showed clearly how little the Dark Lord truly valued any of us. Kreacher was just as loyal as the rest of our family, but even if he had no regard for elves, the Dark Lord did have a seeming regard for Regulus... and Regulus doted on that elf. So as a leader, why would you kill someone a devoted follower of yours doted upon if said follower had done nothing to displease you?"
She shook her head, still baffled by that concept even now. The Dark Lord had demanded loyalty but had given absolutely none in return. "Regulus was justifiably upset and went digging around. As you know, he discovered the Dark Lord had made a Horcrux. That, plus the fact that he wanted something kept from his followers enough to kill Kreacher, got Regulus curious in the worst way. Then there was the Dark Lord's open disregard for his followers which he'd shown with his willingness to toss Kreacher aside like garbage rather than even bothering to alter the elf's memories. This had opened Regulus's eyes. As Uncle hoped, it opened ours as well. We understood that we had no idea who we were dealing with or what his true limits were, if he had any. Uncle feared his plans would get us all killed in the end."
Bellatrix paused to drain her glass before leaning over Rod to place it on the small, ornately carved table beside the sofa. This was more than difficult to think about, but speaking of it somehow helped. It was freeing, therapeutic for others to finally know even if experiencing the horror of it threatened to shatter her a little. Rod kept a grip on her hand as she spoke, and that was enough to anchor her so that she could finish.
"Uncle came to us because we were family and Voldemort's most loyal. He knew he could trust us and because he believed the Dark Lord did as well, he thought that together we could easily corner and trap him. Uncle Orion wanted the six of us to strike out at him and take him down before things grew worse. You know, looking back it's ironic and even quite funny!" She gave a mad cackle. "No one would ever guess in a million years that we were the first to try to take him down, but we were! Everyone wants us locked away for what we did, but we were the first damn heroes. But guess what?"
She glanced regretfully at her empty glass. Though she longed for a refill, she knew it probably wasn't a good idea. This was bad enough as it was, and if she lost control right now, destructive shit would probably happen to their manor or perhaps half of the wizards in London or Hogsmeade just for fun...
"What," Kereston asked obligingly. The little blonde's gray-blue eyes were wide, and she leaned attentively toward Bellatrix, not bothering to hide the shock on her face.
"We all threw the Killing Curse at once and somehow it turned in midair, Little Minister... It hit Uncle... I was standing there in horror watching him fall, then not get up. We all realized then how badly we'd just messed up, but it was too late. He did something to Regulus and Kreacher ,that I still can't recall, and then turned to the three of us. And do you know what he said?"
Bellatrix's chest was tight, and she was finding it difficult to breathe, much less talk. Still she forced the words out anyway, because they needed to escape in the way the six of them had been unable to do back then.
"He said... And as for the three of you, why, I'm going to forgive you.
"He ordered us to kneel then and as we did, he knelt among us and embraced us. He said 'You know what they say... Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' I remember being unable to look away from Uncle Orion lying there dead, even as the Dark Lord did whatever he did to our minds."
Gods, was she crying? Bellatrix felt so oddly removed from her body while vitally in it at the same time that she'd hardly noticed. The restored memories and the feelings of trapped horror that accompanied them affected her nearly like a drug, making her somewhat aware of her body and surroundings while experiencing them in stark contrast to the past at the same time. Adding to the concept of a weird high, she was adrenalized by the horror and stunned by it all.
Finished with Rod, Grindelwald took a seat in a nearby armchair to listen rather than continuing with Rabastan's memory restoration. Bellatrix noticed this as if from a distance. Now wasn't the time to care that Grindelwald actually took an interest in what she had to say.
"He did something to our minds while embracing us," she went on. "We now know how freely he used compulsion on members of the government, and others who stood against him, but now I think he used it on enough of his followers as well. At least to some degree. He had this way about him that made you love everything that he said...as if you were high on it! Now with my mind free and him dead, looking back I guess that isn't natural, even if you admire a great leader."
Saying that should've made her feel a little stupid, but it just didn't matter after all they'd been through. "He certainly used heavy compulsion on the three of us that night. I know this because we all completely and suddenly forgot about what I just told you, and we were beyond devoted. Ten times more than we were originally, at least. It was as if serving him became the only thing that mattered in our lives... The only thing on which we wanted to focus."
She drew in a breath, glancing around at the others. "It's like if you thought I was good today and tomorrow I'm absolutely the best thing in the world... and in the heavens and anywhere else. If I smile at you or say you did a good job, you get to feel a little of that greatness. It was like a drug, I suppose. And what Grindelwald said concerning whatever the Dark Lord did to our minds altering our perception of reality... I understand it now."
"I never wondered why we all were so much more obsessed with serving him in that moment than we were the day before. I never wondered what happened to Uncle and only wondered over Regulus a little before deciding there was nothing I could do about it but serve our Lord even better. That's why we continued to obsess even when everyone else thought he was dead. That's why everyone thinks we're insane. No one even bothered to wonder why or what happened to us," she concluded, voice rising indignantly on that last bit.
She glanced from her husband to her gaping brother-in-law. "Are you sure, Bella," Rabastan asked and Bellatrix shot him a fierce scowl.
"Of course I am quite bloody certain, and you shall be as well, as soon as Grindelwald has had at your mind."
Rabastan straightened, suddenly turning a look of suspicion on Grindelwald. "How can we be certain he's not having at our minds in a wrong way... The sort of way that plants false memories?"
Grindelwald replied with a contemptuous toss of his blonde curls. "Because I don't care about any of you, nor do I have a reason to plant anything in your heads. Besides, it isn't that simple even for me. With all of you sitting here, were I doing such a thing, it would be noticed."
"That and the Ministry already said something had been done to my and Rod's minds earlier, if you recall," Bellatrix reminded him.
"Yes, but the Ministry is working with us, so they'd certainly not be above working with Grindelwald," Rabastan pointed out.
Gellert made a sound of exasperation. "I can take a truth potion on the matter if you really need it to sleep at night," he retorted.
"Gellert isn't helping the soon to be former Ministry, I can assure you," Kereston Boxwood spoke up. "That Ministry played a part in his takedown all those years ago. They weren't the ones to free him from prison as they did you, and they aren't even aware that he is alive. He has been my friend for years, however, and I trust him with my life. Those of us working together on this...new government endeavor, could all meet and question one another under Veritaserum at least once though, I suppose."
"There is an even better spell that would more expediently accomplish the same goal," Gellert said. "You can place it on a room so that whoever enters will automatically be compelled to speak anything that they are holding back. If a person is entering a room of people and lying to them, that is going to be the first thing their mind would consider something to withhold. Considering the threats that Delphini has already posed thus far, I suggest using this at every gathering of import to assure that those in your inner circle aren't being tampered with," he told Kereston.
The little blonde nodded. "Very well."
"But if they were tampered with, they'd not know it," Bellatrix objected. "We certainly didn't."
"This spell overrides such compulsions, and you would be forced to speak out about it regardless," Gellert replied. "Deep inside, you were always aware of what was done. You simply couldn't access that part, but this spell would ensure that you did."
Bellatrix shuddered, feeling a new wave of horror sweeping over her. "So you're saying that part of us always knew?" Grindelwald nodded. "That's why people always thought we were so bloody insane," Bellatrix snapped, a sudden surge of anger replacing the horror at that thought. "Our minds were always dealing with both!"
Gellert nodded again. "It would be a lot for the mind to handle. What I just undid...was rather twisted magic applied with vicious brute force that could not have done much for your sanity. It distorted your perception of reality, not to mention interrupting your mental processing."
"Do you remember now, Roddy," Bellatrix asked and her husband nodded.
"It came back as you were telling it. It felt rather...as if I forgot what we did last week and you reminded me. Like one of those aha moments... I suppose mine was gentler than yours because you reminded me, but you had to remember alone." He gave her an apologetic look. "I guess that's why you were so weirdly upset earlier over the Dark Lord doing something that you knew he'd never done. He did something else and that was another sort of invasion."
"He mind fucked all of you in the worst way," Kereston said, shuddering in horror as Gellert rose and moved to stand in front of Rabastan.
"Ready to remember yours," he asked and the youngest Lestrange nodded.
"Well, no, but it's like taking that morning shit just after you got clean in the shower... It isn't pleasant, but still it's just something that's got to be done." Bellatrix wished she wasn't too upset to laugh at Rabastan's antics, and she hoped he'd still have his sense of humor after he re-experienced the horror that had forever changed their lives.