"I'm home," I exclaimed as I entered the loft and taking off my shoes before going in, but as soon as I turned around, I instantly regretted when I found Justine being rawly fucked by her boyfriend Grégórí, who's a really rich male from a one of the strongest clans in Zekarr, also foreigner, whose representing his family in here.
A family, that guess what? I hate.
Not because they did something to me, but because they have been on my goddess-damned toes ever since I turned 15 years old, annually coming after me to get me to take part of their stupid female auction, where they sell powerful females off in their interracial shit to the richest males of the six realms outside the Starlight Conjunction. I've been living with Justine for five years and she told me about it many times, trying to get me to participate and whatever, just because her boyfriend is the oldest son of the heir, and probably came to Crims'On to try to find a way to make me sell myself off. All because everyone wants my bloodline.
Like Mr. Snow said, everyone knows about the Mortimer, and since I am the sole survivor, insanely strong even if I repress myself and refuse to use all my powers at all, and I am a female, their eyes are on me. They want to profit on me. Fuck that, I'm no object.
I don't like her boyfriend, because he's a Nguyen Russo and one of them.
But three days ago she told me that their mating bond fell into place, which makes them mates, a connection waaaaaay deeper and rare than just dating. It's so rare that the ratio for one to find a mate is 1 out of 1 million, and since Crims'On doesn't even have 1 million people, I doubt I'll ever find one, which is good, I don't want to pass down my bloodline. I'm a monster, I'm cursed, I know that better than anyone, my hands are capable of a traumatizing mass destruction, a power as great as mine isn't good and it would be mean for me to pass it down to a child.
I meant what I said about not wanting a baby to suffer like I did.
On the other hand, Zekarr is huge, it has about 300 million people, if not more, so, it's a bit more common there, and they found each other, so, nice, but I couldn't care less. The bad part is that after the bond snaps, mates go through a big mind-blowing mating frenzy, which basically means they go into heat and need to have raw crazy sex or they feel like they will die. I wouldn't know how that feels, I never felt sexual desire or need for sex in my 125 years alive, sex makes me cringe to be honest, I might be defective and asexual.
Again, I wouldn't know, I'm too young to know, I can't say I never will.
Which again, means that I'm forced to seeing them fucking like animals in the loft, and I feel bad because the house is hers, and I feel like an intruder. I'm sure they must feel the same way.
This makes me fear being homeless even more, I have nowhere to go, and I am not about to head down to the castle my clan used to live in, because I will go insane, and I might actually snap and murder all the people in Crims'On, innocent or not, until I wipe this realm clean with their own fucking blood, after I satiate the thirst that has been killing me for a long time. I know myself too much to do that, so, that place may be all that I have left, my only property, but I ain't going there, my trauma is too instable and unhealed for that shit.
"Shit," I cursed, covering my eyes with my hands, disgusted.
"Koreeeee Aaaaaann," Justine cried.
"Girl, don't moan my name, I don't swing that way," I cringed.
"Mmmmmm, Gréééééég," she cried and I just knew her eyes were rolling.
"Ew, ew, I'm leaving," I turned to the door again.
"Wait just more five minutes, Kore, we want to talk to you," he groaned.
"Ew, I'll be outside, ew, ew," I quickly grabbed my shoes, which Justine was kind enough to donate to me, two years ago, a black heel that she loved to use until she didn't, and that I've been wearing on the daily, since it's the only social shoe and the only heel I own, and I stuff it with cottons she gave me to fill in the gap since my feet is smaller than the shoe, then I unlocked the door and left the loft.
I locked it again and sat on a set of stairs above the loft, leaning back on the wall and trying to rest a bit, I don't need sleep to live, but my body is so, so, so bloody tired from all I've been through, all I'm doing, that I find my body fainting with tiredness constantly, I black out. My entire body hurts, my muscles, my bones, my head, my skin, my organs, everything.
Justine eats a lot, one of the conditions for me to live with her was for me to cook for her, all meals, everything she wants, because she missed having a chef like she did in her family's mansion, and the idea of having a Mortimer cook for her made her feel really great. Like I said, we aren't good friends, she's a pseudo-friend, and it was that or being homeless, so, I said yes. However, she eats a lot, I only eat what she doesn't like and what she leaves behind, which is barely nothing, and she does the grocery and only but enough to feed her well, and I don't have money for that.
I take what I can get. I've long lost any sense of pride when it came to this because pride was not going to give me a bed and food, even if nothing much. And I know this won't kill me, there's little things that could kill me even if I allowed it to, I'm painfully hard to kill from nature, and I have my body fat to keep me alive.
Sure, I have nearly no body fat at all, but the little I have does it.
Fainting is actually good, it turns me off from being awake, it's the closest I got from dying, so, I can't have enough of it. No matter if that makes me… sick…
۞ ۞ ۞ ۞ ۞
Someone slapped my face, "Kore. Kore," a female voice called me. "Kore, wave up, fuck," another slap, this time there was magic in it… Justine's light magic. "Please, girl, you can't die in my loft, not you. Kore," she shook me, "Kore Aaann!"
Slowly, I opened my eyes, feeling like my body just wanted to be dragged down to the mud and be seven feet deep buried under the earth beneath us. That does not work though, I've been buried alive before, it does nothing, it only pisses the monster inside me more and gets me berserk, so, I don't recommend. It got me claustrophobic until this very fucking day, in a panicking state, thankfully Tine's loft is considerably big.
"Hm?" I blinked, slowly, hating the bright light on the room, that is always on because she hates the dark of my realm, and I thrive in it, light makes me recoil, I've grown forcefully used to it, but I still fucking hate it. I do enjoy softer lights, but not those bright wants that feels like will make me go blind.
"Apollo be fucking damned," Grégórí gasped. "You scared us."
Holding onto her hand, I forced myself to sit up, "What happened?"
"You nearly died on us," she cried loudly, she's a loud person, I'm not.
Not anymore, I used to be a bright and loud child, but that's long lost, the only joy I feel is when I'm baking or taking care of kids or playing piano. She has a piano and I play on it when she isn't around, it makes my magic swirl so I don't do it when she's around, because I don't like anyone feeling my magic. "Ah, did I faint again?" I asked more to myself. "Why did you wake me up?"
"What do you mean 'again'?" She squeaked. "You don't faint."
"Ah," I forgot nobody knew, "it's been… happening with frequency," I tried but my smile was self-deprecating. "I guess I'm not so strong after all. One more name to add in the list: weak," I stared at my own hands, but all I saw was blood, even if there was none. "Incompetent, failure, disappointment, cursed, disgraceful, traumatized, unemployed, poor, incapable, and weak. At least it's growing, this is probably the only thing growing in my life."
"Faes don't faint," Grégórí groaned.