Hostel.
(Phone notification)
RIN
He-yo sorry for the late reply.
Got no credit, forgot to top-up mine haha.
(Back then we only text messaging with SMS, each of SMS were deducted from credits which we always had to top-up to continue texting and extend expiry date.)
(Other social media platforms like facebook are there, but the internet was so expensive. We only open it sometimes.)
SHAH
Ha. I thought you already forgot about me with your new friends.
RIN
Hoo boy, looks like somebody is missing me here. Fufu.
Well I got good friends. And…a boyfriend too.
SHAH
(Already? Wow. She's progressing faster than me)
Boyfriend? Wow . That's the more reason to forget me.
RIN
Hei don't get depressed. I'm still texting right.
You should get a girlfriend too. Is there no one you like?
SHAH
There is someone. She's cute like an anime girl.
Moreover she likes anime too.
We text everyday and discuss anime or games.
RIN
Then, make a move cowboy.
Is she wearing glasses and big boobies?
SHAH
No, opposite of that. She's popular with seniors.
I don't think I'm fit.
RIN
Not hurt to try though. She might like you if she's always texting you.
SHAH
Not hurt, but I feel silly if I get rejected.
(It did hurt a bit when I saw seniors with her.)
RIN
Got her facebook? I want to stalk.
SHAH
Now that you mentioned it.
Will ask her later.
RIN
That's slow. No wonder if someone got her already. Haha.
SHAH
Hei, you should be cheering me on.
(I should ask for FIONA Facebook.)
SHAH
Hi, What are you doing?
FIONA
I'm playing piano.
It's hard. aghhhhh
SHAH
(She has another hobby.)
Wow, I wanna hear it.
What song?
FIONA
Some video game themes. Meow.
Meh. Don't listen to it. I'm playing like shit. Meow
(╥︣﹏᷅╥).
SHAH
I trust you. You must be good.
By the way do you have facebook?
I want to add you.
FIONA
Yea I have. Wait, what's your user name?
SHAH
It's **********
(Sorry for privacy purpose.)
FIONA
Done adding you. Meow
SHAH
Alright. I'll open tomorrow at college.
Got no internet though.
FIONA
It's ok meow.
You can see my video playing piano on facebook.
It's embarrassing.
(╥︣﹏᷅╥).
SHAH
Hahah. ok.
(We continue texting unnecessary things.)
College/Computer Lab
Open up facebook.
SHAH
Ah it's friend request from her
Cat DP with Japanese letter name.
No wonder I couldn't find her facebook.
Accept. So 'm gonna browse her profile.
Full of cat's picture. Not a glimpse of her photo.
There's her piano video. Only showing her hands to play.
I don't know much about piano but she's good.
I'm gonna praise her tonight.
???
Ha! Stalking FIONA I see.
SHAH
(!!!!...)
(It's ERYN. She's a senior and closed with FIONA.)
(Sometime's at recess she will come to our medical lab to meet FIONA just to hug her. She really adores FIONA like a sister.)
(I can see it too on FIONA facebook. Full of her posting.)
ERYN
I knew it SHAH!
You really have the hot on her.
SHAH
(She knew my name...)
N-no, she said she's playing piano. I'm just browsing her facebook for that.
ERYN
Funny, why are you scared though.
You're her friend. I'm not gonna complain about anything.
Be sure to be good to her. Or someone else will.
Hahaa. See you.
SHAH
What does she mean?
(On my way from the computer lab to classes I saw FIONA with WAN and seniors.)
(I had no chance. Literally.)
FIONA
SHAH! Wait for me.
Let's go to class together.
SHAH
O-ok. Let's go.
(She seems uneasy and by calling me was her escape.)
(She also left WAN alone with them.)
What are you doing there?
FIONA
We just do some study groups with the other seniors.
SHAH
Is it ok you left them like that?
FIONA
It's ok, it's not me who wants to be in the study group.
It's WAN who asks the senior.
SHAH
(My feeling was right. WAN just using FIONA to attract seniors and other guys.)
I have looked at your piano videos. It was awesome.
FIONA
You think? haha, I thought you were gonna say it was shit.
SHAH
I'm not that rude, if it's total shit I'll just keep it to myself.
FIONA
So it was shit. Hahaha.
(We went to class together and suddenly all of our classmates welcomed us as a couple.)
(Our face turned red and quickly got to our seats.)
SHAH
(So it's not what I'm thinking. I feel relieved and happy somehow.)
Hostel
(Phone Notification)
FIONA
Hi Shah, busy? meow.
SHAH
Not really. Why?
FIONA
I want you to hear me singing while playing piano. Meow.
(─‿‿─)
And then give me feedback.
SHAH
(Whoa. This is rare...)
Alright I'm all ears.
FIONA
I'll call you when I'm ready. Heheh
Don't go anywhere. meow.
SHAH
(This is the first time a girl will call me. I'm nervous just thinking about it.)
(I should go somewhere that my friends will not hear. I'm wearing earphones.)
(Phone Ringing)
FIONA
H-hello?
Can you hear me clearly ?
SHAH
Y-yeah, loud and clear.
You can start.
FIONA
O-Okey.
(Piano music started and then after a few notes she started singing in Japanese.)
SHAH
(This is like a dream, her voice so angelic. God knows how happy I am.)
(Thank you mom and dad for bringing me to this world.)
FINA
How about it? I need to catch my breath. Haha
SHAH
You're good. I don't know what song though. But it's good.
I'm moved. Hahah.
FIONA
Glad you said that. W-well I'm gonna hang up.
Text you later. Bye.
SHAH
O-ok. Bye.
(She hung up. I'm grinning with happiness now.)
(Phone notification)
???
Hi, SHAH?
Is this you?
SHAH
(I don't recognize this number.)
Yes, I'm SHAH.
May I know who is this?
IZA
I'm IZA, FIONA's cousin.
Nice to meet you.
SHAH
(FIONA cousin? Did she give my number to her?)
Yeah hi. Did FIONA give you my number?
IZA
No, I took it myself from her phone. She's on the phone just before, I thought who is calling her then I take your number.
SHAH
Yeah, she called me just a moment ago.
IZA
I see…
Received MMS
MMS is photo messaging.
SHAH
(What is this? IZA sent me a photo.)
(!!!!... It's FIONA ! She's only wearing a big shirt lying down like sleeping. I can see her round ass and panties in that pose. Damn It… So sexy it gives me a hard boner. Is this what girls wear at home?)
Is this FIONA? Why are you sending me her photo?
IZA
Just want to show you what you have done to FINA.
She got red suddenly. I thought this must be your doing.
Heh. Are you her boyfriend?
SHAH
(Whoa what a question!)
(I should be careful of what I will say. This is her cousin after all.)
No. I'm her friend from college. She just called me because wanted me to listen to her piano.
IZA
I see… Well, don't tell her I'm sending her photo to you. You one lucky bastard you know.
SHAH
(Eh?)
Haha. I promise.
IZA
One more thing. Take good care of her. She's fragile.
Bye.
SHAH
(What does she mean by that?)
College
After a few days, the weather is quite hot. After class ended, we took a 15 mins rest before the next class.
Suddenly FIONA collapsed. Everyone was shocked about what happened. They ask me to get her some water and something to eat. I quickly ran over to the nearest shop for that. When I came back I saw FIONA already conscious but her nose was bleeding.
Lecturer called her mom and took her home. Everything happened so fast.
Hostel
(Phone Notification)
FIONA
Hi, SHAH.
Thanks for today. Meow.
SHAH
Are you okay? I see blood coming from your nose.
FIONA
I'm okay. That's what I'm scared of most…
Of you see that I've collapsed like that. I'm scared that if you know it you will leave me.
I just forgot to take medicine plus the weather is quite hot. Meow.
SHAH
What are you saying? Why would I leave you after seeing that?
I was so worried about you.
FIONA
Are you worried? Hee.
I'm relieved to hear that. Actually… I had a disease. It's Anaemia.
Sometimes I do feel weak and nauseous. Meow.
Sorry for hiding from you.
SHAH
(Maybe that's what IZA mentioned earlier.)
I see... Now I know you like this. Next time I won't leave you alone. Who knows when you will collapse again, I'm worried.
(What did I just send… I can't cancel it. My god, it's embarrassing… It's like a confession.)
FIONA
You will? . Meow.
I'm happy to hear that. Hehe
I'm in your care. Meow
SHAH
(Yeahh… It WAS a confession. I write it without thinking, but she accepts me nonetheless.)
We talked a bit before she went to sleep.
(Phone notification)
IZA
Yet again you make her happy today. Thank you.
I hope you will accept her condition.
SHAH
I did promise her. And I'll keep that.
IZA
(Received MMS)
Its FIONA sleeping faces. She looked pale but did smile. She's cute.
Bye.
(FINA is absent, she has to rest at home for one week. We text everyday and I did keep a note from class for her.)
(It's night at the hostel. Some of our girl classmate makes dinner celebrating a farewell of one of our classmate FIZOH. She will drop college because change of mind.
FIZOH
SHAH, a moment…
Before I leave, I want you to know that… I liked you… I hope you feel the same…
SHAH
(She likes me? since when? But I have FIONA now. I have to turn her down.)
I'm sorry… I have someone else…
FIZOH
It's FIONA right… I see… No wonder you are always looking at her. See you again, Bye.
(I can see tears coming from her eyes. I'm confused since when did she like me… maybe because I'm focusing too much on FIONA that I didn't notice. That's the first time I turned a girl down… I felt nothing…
(Texting)
SHAH
FIONA, today is FIZOH last day. She will drop college.
FIONA
Eh. Why? Meow
SHAH
She said she can't do it. Medical courses are hard.
FIONA
Oh. I see… send my regards to her.
SHAH
Ok… By the way, she confessed to me.
FIONA
Really? What did you say? Meow.
(¬‿¬)
SHAH
(Ugh. Why did I tell her)
I said I have someone else…
FIONA
SOMEONE ELSE ?
(◔◡◔)
(◔◡◔)
(◔◡◔)
SHAH
Yeahh.. It's you
I said I have you.
(She's really forcing me to said it.)
FIONA
Hehee.
We continue chatting until everyone is back to the hostel.
College
(Today FIONA will start class after a long rest.. I waited at the entrance until her arrival, then I moved to a nearby spot to see her.)
(I was nervous and acted like a stranger as her mother walked her. I see there's another girl in the car. Can't quite clearly see her face but she's waving. Is it me or FIONA. Must be FIONA so I ignore it.)
FIONA
Hai SHAH, Morning. Long time no see.
SHAH
Are you really ok? Can you walk? I can carry you.
FIONA
Pfffttt… Are you sure you can lift me? I'm heavy as a boulder you know.
SHAH
Ohhhh. That explains why you're so hard headed. hahahaha.
FIONA
W-what! How dare you mock me. Hahah.
FIONA attended class normally and I gave her all notes during her absence.
(Phone notification)
IZA
Why are you ignoring me?
I'm waving at you.
SHAH
Was it you?
Sorry, I thought you were waving at FIONA.
Moreover, I don't recognize your face.
IZA
Oops it's true… Only I know your face, haha.
SHAH
(She knew my face? Did FIONA show me to her? Maybe by facebook.)
(So FIONA did talk about me with her. That explains why IZA sometimes updates me on what FIONA has been doing.)
You guys live together?
IZA
Yep. My parents worked overseas, so we live together at the moment.
SHAH
No thought of furthering your studies?
IZA
Waiting for government University. Still in process.
Ok then. You are in the midst of class right.
Bye.
SHAH
Oh. Ok
Bye.
Time goes by… Been a month. Sometimes FIONA nose bleeds while in class. Her condition seems to worsen. She said she will be doing surgery later.
And then… There is this guy KIM, a Medical Courses senior who knew FIONA during group study with WAN. He clearly shows affection to FIONA. WAN always brings him into the study group with FIONA. KIM is short and slender with white skin. He had that Idol-like face. Almost everyday they had study groups together and I'm jealous that she spent more time with him than me. FIONA did invite me to study together but I refused as I hate KIM, all my friends too… Sometimes he brings flowers to FIONA. This time when FIONA was alone, I thought of going straight to her but KIM quickly sprayed his breath-freshner and ran straight to FIONA. I was so mad, I walked through them and ignored them.
(Phone Ringing)
SHAH
(It's FIONA calling me. But I ignore it.. I was really mad at that time. I turned the phone off.)
Children Park.
(I ask all my friends to chill together at the park. I need to cool down.
SYED
KIM sure went off the line you know. Did you see before, he brings flowers. F-L-O-W-E-R-S to FIONA.
AME
Yeahh, Why are you letting him SHAH?
She's your girlfriend. Did he know about it?
SHAH
I don't know. I mean look at him… He has good looks, I'm nowhere his good.
BOB
You're more than that turd, if I'm a girl I'll fall all over you. Hell, I'll turn gay for you. Fuck me ahn…
ADYB
DUDE!!!
BOB
What? You jealous huh pretty boy. If it's you, I'm the one who should have fucked you. Your beautiful face turns me on honey.
ADYB
GROSS!!
AME
It's true ADYB. SHAH don't you think ADYB and FIONA have the same personality. Come on, you can think of him as FIONA.
ADYB
FUCK YOU GUYS!
SYED
FIONA should tell him that you are with her you know.
???
Oi SHAH, Why did you leave FIONA with KIM. She's crying, you know.
SHAH
(It's FIZ. He's my classmate and he lived in the same hostel with KIM.)
She's crying? Are you sure?
FIZ
KIM is there calming her. You know, he's head over heel with FIONA.
A shoulder to cry on, becomes a dick to ride on.
(Then he left)
SHAH
(This guy…I don't even know which side is his.)
(I should turn my phone back on.)
(That's a lot of missed calls from FIONA, and text too…)
(Phone Ringing)
SHAH
H-hello
FIONA
SHAH!
Why are you angry? Why are you walking away? Why are you ignoring me?
Why didn't you answer my calls?
What did I do wrong?
SHAH
You are always with KIM, almost everyday. Who am I to you?
He did give you flowers too…
Didn't he know you have me?
FIONA
We are just friends, I swear to god…
He gave me flowers but I threw them away.
He really annoys me. I want to run from him.
I love you…
Please don't get angry at me.
SHAH
(Now she explains everything somehow I'm at ease.)
(It's really not like what I think it was.)
I thought you had something with him.
I was so mad when you were with him. I'm jealous.
Sorry I made you cry.
FIONA
How do you know I'm crying?
I'm sorry I made you feel like that.
SHAH
FIZ, He told me. A moment ago.
Can I come to you?
FIONA
Mom is here already.
We'll text later.
Bye, Take care.
SHAH
Take care too..Bye
So… Guys, she told me she had nothing with KIM.
It's KIM trying hard for her.
BOB
Are you sure? Yeahh KIM looks like pansy anyway.
ADYB
GO FUCK HIM THEN. I WANT FIONA.
ALL
…
AME
Our ADYB is really bad at making jokes.
(We all laugh anyways and with that all of my concern, overthinking and insecure vanish. I can feel at ease, for now…