College
I'm so depressed, today I saw KIM come to college driving a car. I felt like a loser. My self-esteem was down to drain. That time I knew I already lost. Fuck it.
In the classroom I sat near a corner alone depressed, I'm wearing shades to hide my emotion.
ERYN
Hei! Why are you wearing shades in the classroom, no one would've known if you're peeking at somebody.
ERYN came and bent her body down like a cat to take off my shades. Her cleavage is showing, her breasts are so round and the bra fits perfectly… My eyes were fixed towards that.
ERYN
See, like this I know where your eyes are going.
SHAH
(I got caught!)
H-hei, leave me alone.
(Then I went behind the window curtain and sat there. After a few moments ERYN came. While I was leaning against the wall under the window, she came looking outside while pressing her breast to my face... I can feel it, her nipples are hard… I'm breathing heavily, nobody sees us behind the curtain.)
ERYN
You look so down… I wonder what happened, I hate to see you like this…
(While she was talking I could feel the vibration of her voice transferring to my face via her breast. I'm sweating, my nose now between her cleavage. I pushed her over.)
SHAH
I can't breathe.
ERYN
Oh! Sorry... I didn't know. Well… something came up, bye.
(Now her chest is wet because of my sweat, she wears a cardigan so she hides it with that. Then off she goes.)
SHAH
(What was that, what was she doing… I'm so confused… I'm sexually assaulted.)
(Now I'm scared of her, she's DAI crush… If he knew this it'd be bad.)
After class finished, I went down to the entrance waiting for others. Usually FIONA will wait at the entrance, now she's always in the library.
???
Waiting for somebody?
SHAH
Oh, KINA… Yeah, waiting for BOB and SYED.
KINA
They had something to do upstairs, they've been talking about dropping out.
Maybe because they were lonely after you switched courses. Haha.
SHAH
They're just exaggerating, we still meet at the hostel.
KINA
But… It's different without you there. At least to them.
I was thinking of switching courses too. Where do you think I'm fit?
I thought of Graphic Design like you… but I can't draw haha.
SHAH
(Looking at her up and down and that makes her blush.)
Maybe Tourism fits you. You have a good figure and are attractive.
KINA
S-serious? I don't think so…
I really like drawing, but it sucks. I have lots of manga at home.
I wish to make manga myself.
SHAH
(What, KINA too...)
(clearly I set the bar too high. I don't expect people like them to be into this too.)
Haha, I too wish I could make a manga.
KINA
I want to be a character in your manga. Anything is ok haha.
My father has arrived, come by my house sometime. I can show you all my collection.
See you later. Bye.
SHAH
(She's inviting me.)
We'll see. Ok KINA. Bye.
After that both of them arrived. BOB decided to switch courses in IT and SYED decided to drop college to take care of his sick mother.
On some random day. After finishing my morning classes. Suddenly ERYN brought FIONA inside. KIM is outside looking for her. He called FIONA's phone, but FIONA canceled it.
SHAH
(Classic, lovers quarrel eh.)
KIM saw me around and then he went away.
(I want to go to the toilet. ERYN is there calming FIONA… I don't know what happened but I shouldn't care about it.)
(Phone Notification)
FIONA
Thanks. Meow
If you are not here KIM will follow me.
SHAH
(I didn't do anything.)
Why is he after you?
FIONA
He keeps forcing me.
I don't like it.
I'm scared. Meow.
SHAH
(Whatever…)
Then class continues, FIONA returns to her classroom. She is always attached to ERYN now, no more sight of WAN around. Almost every day she will come for ERYN and sometimes sleeps here during breaks time. Maybe that keeps KIM away. I don't know what happened between them.
College Entrance.
While going downstairs to the entrance, NANA was at the table near the entrance.
NANA
SHAH! Come here.
Look at what I draw.
Hehe.
SHAH
(It's a diaphragm of a human organ. It's very detailed.)
Wow NANA, you're good at drawing.
NANA
Hehe. Not as good as you.
I was so excited to show it to you.
Looks SHAH, even Medical Courses related with drawing.
SHAH
Haha. Maybe I should switch back to Medical Courses.
(While I'm conversing with NANA, FIONA walks in.)
FIONA
What are you guys chatting about? Can I join?
DEEBAH
FIONA! Come with me.
(I can see DEEBAH dragging FIONA somewhere…)
NANA
Err… What just happened?
Ok SHAH, I have to go.
We have a part-time job.
SHAH
You guys have a part-time job?
(Good idea, I should find a part time job too after class. With my current allowance I can't do or buy anything.)
Where are you guys working?
NANA
There's a fabric factory beside our college, we just fold cloth and pack it into plastic.
SHAH
Can I come with you? I want to apply too.
NANA
Yeahh. Sure, let's go.
(It is just near the road of our college. There's an old building and inside of it is a factory. We take a tour but unfortunately they don't take any more workers. I left them to work and went back to the hostel.)
SHAH
(I should find a part time job too... Sitting leisurely and not doing anything after class won't give me extra money.)
I found a part-time job at a Petrol Station as a pump attendant after class, but worked only for 3 days. It's too tiring and BOB has to send and fetch me every day. NANA and others stopped working part-time too as Bangladesh workers there tried to flirt with NANA.
Today NANA invited me to her hostel to celebrate her birthday.
NANA Hostel.
NANA
Thanks SHAH for coming. Hee…
DEEBAH
NANA really wants you to come SHAH.
NANA
DEEBAH!
SHAH
Oh…. I'm happy that you invited me. This is the first time I'm invited to a girl's birthday.
Isn't it BOB?
BOB
Yeahhh!!! Going to NANA's birthday was my dream. Now my dream is complete.
NANA
Hahaha, BOB you're funny.
(We went back to the hostel. After lots of thinking about making side income I came up with an idea.)
(Texting)
SHAH
NANA, I have an idea about what we can do to make side income.
NANA
What is it SHAH?
SHAH
You can draw, and so am i... Obviously.
Why not we create a business together?
NANA
Interesting… What business?
SHAH
(She's popular, I can use her popularity for marketing too... I'm a genius!)
We make custom shoes. We draw on customer shoes upon request from them.
They chose their favourite design and we applied it for them.
NANA
INTERESTING… What would we call it?
SHAH
CANA KANKY
CANA stands for our name, KANKY is added to make it rhyme. Hahah.
I'll do the poster later and sample design too.
You brainstorm any design.
I'll make a Facebook page.
NANA
Marvelous <3
We did start our business, it went well… But most of the order goes to NANA because she's popular. Well that means my idea is working and she can make money off with it. Our relationship grew but somehow I don't have feelings for her. My mind is set, I have nothing to give. I don't deserve anyone until I have my own money, driving license and car.
Hostel.
(Phone Notification)
FIONA
Hi, SHAH…
How are you doing? Meow.
SHAH
I'm fine. You?
FIONA
I'm not fine.
I want to die. Meow.
SHAH
Whoa, what is wrong with you?
What does KIM do to you?
FIONA
He didn't do anything.
I just wanna die. Can I?
(Received MMS)
SHAH
(It's her wrist, She scuffs it with a blade. I can see blood too.)
Are you for real! Why are you hurting yourself?
FIONA
(Received a Utube link, it's a song from an anime. I was so dense back then that I didn't realize she's using this anime song to show her jealousy. I only read the lyrics and was confused. It literally mentions NANA in the song description. That's some code to decode.)
Bye.
(She posted it on her facebook too with the caption "For Someone". KIM and some other guys fighting over who the person is for. Clearly It's for me…
College
Last night I tried to reach FIONA because of what she said, but she didn't respond. I'm worried… Today at college I found her sitting alone near the library. Nobody is there, only us…
SHAH
What were you doing last night? You know hurting yourself is bad. Why would you want to die over something not important.
FIONA
…
SHAH
(I hold her hand and look at her wrist. It's full of marks and scars… Her hands were cold.)
Are you ok?
Suddenly FIONA burst into tears, crying in front of me. I couldn't do anything, I wanted to hug her but my body froze… I just sat there accompany her until she stopped crying.
FIONA
Thanks SHAH. I'm relieved, somehow… I'm going back to class now, bye.
SHAH
(Maybe I'm being too harsh towards her, I should treat her better after this...)
NANA Hostel
NANA invited me to her hostel for a study group. Even though we took different courses, some subjects were shared in the same class. That time NANA was only wearing white tank top, she's showing her skin and bra strap! I can't focus on studying… I was the only guy there. It's very alluring.
DEEBAH
It's sure hot here eh NANA.
I should open my shirts too…
JOKING!
NANA
Y-yeah!
SHAH. Do you know this question?
DEEBAH
Get your ass over there! NANA asking.
SHAH
W-what, ok…
(I stand up and go behind NANA, what a view… Her breast is big,, instead of looking at the question I'm focusing on her lump of meat.)
It's like this…
NANA
Is it?
(NANA suddenly looked at my eyes, our faces too close. We both feel awkward.)
SHAH
Y-yeah
(Both of us were nervous.)
NANA
How's FIONA?
SHAH
I don't know… why?
NANA
Nothing… She's always alone now.
I thought you knew something…
SHAH
She is always with KIM.
That's her boyfriend right.
NANA
I think so…
SHAH
(FIONA acting differently now. All her friends notice it now… Is it because I'm too harsh?)
Hostel
In 2011 we subscribed to internet service. We always use facebook to chat.
SHAH
(I should chat with FINA to know what's up.)
Hi, I'm sorry for hurting you before.
I didn't know it'd turn out like this…
Can we be friends again?
FIONA
It's OK, meow.
Hehee.
SHAH
What are you doing?
FIONA
Playing games on facebook.
It's fun!
SHAH
Oh, Ok…
FIONA
My brother gave me his laptop.
It's super powerful. I can play games now. Meow.
You know Alice: Madness Return? It's really gore. Meow
So awesome!
SHAH
Is it?
I want to try.
Can you bring a laptop tomorrow?
(Now she's cheerful again.)
FIONA
Yeshh.
Tomorrow I'll bring it.
We both went back to normal but as a friend, I spend most of my time with her since she always comes to Graphic Design class. My time with NANA gradually decreased and I left our business for NANA to operate alone… There's a time where NANA purposely liked my interaction post with FIONA on facebook. Maybe it's her way of reminding me of her. I did mention NANA too to join in our conversation but she only reacted with a simple comment and FIONA ignored her. I know I was giving too much attention to FIONA. Until NANA posted some quotes on facebook.
NANA
When people walk away from you, let them go.
Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves u,
And it doesn't mean they are bad people,
It just means that their part in your story is over.
<3 NANA
(Is it to me? Or someone else…I did comment.)
SHAH
Everything happened has a reason, the story has not yet ended and the chronicle will go on until the unexpected appears.
(NANA then replied me.)
NANA
Wow! You surprised me.
SHAH
(It's cold… It's my fault… I ignored her for a very long time and left her alone doing all the work.)
(I'm sorry NANA…)
Not long after that NANA and FIZ became a couple, FIZ has been eyeing NANA for a long time. It's good for them. FIZ has bikes and cars too… I'm not ready for a relationship yet. NANA still continues with the business, but she changes its name to "The-Die-Hard-Fan". We both stopped seeing each other after that.