Boring. Cliché. Tropey. I think any of these would appropriately describe my death. Of course, I can't say that it's fair of me to complain – my life was as lackluster as my death. But let's back up, I think I'm getting ahead of myself.
My name is Mizuki Hakuto. Until recently, I was a college student…in the United States. Yup, you heard that right. Not only was I born here, but my biological parents are also both American. I am a generic, brown haired, green eyed, white dude. Average height, average build, and, if I may be so bold, slightly above-average in the looks department.
So, why am I graced with the name of an anime protagonist?
Simple…my parents are major weebs. Imagine how delusional you have to be to name your kid like this…they didn't even give me their last name! Sometimes, I'm shocked they were competent enough to reproduce.
Alas, I digress. We were discussing how I died.
Classes had just started for the semester, and I was on my way to a World History class. I'm a senior and a physics major, and this class was a core requirement that I'd put off as long as I could, so I was dreading it.
To make matters worse, the professor turned out to be one of those types that likes to do an introductory roll call on the first day, as if it's going to make him remember two hundred students' names. As expected, this did not go well for me.
"Next…Mizuki Hakuto? Oh hoh, wonderful! Our second topic this semester is actually Japanese history, so I hope you won't be shy about weighing in on class discussions." (professor)
As he said this, with an enthusiasm that pained me, he was scouring the faces of the students in the class, presumably waiting for me to stand up and identify myself. I was already dreading the normal reaction to my name, so I was hesitant.
"Mizuki? Am I pronouncing that wrong? Don't be shy, if you're here please introduce yourself!" (professor)
'Ah, screw it, it's bound to come up eventually anyway', I thought. I stood up abruptly and raised my hand in an awkward introduction.
Seeing me, the rest of the students erupted in laughter. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the professor had an expression that was a mix of confusion and annoyance.
"Err…young man…" (professor)
He'd looked at me like he wasn't sure whether I was playing a prank on him, so I'd thought it best to cut him off.
"I'm Mizuki, and I assure you, the only joke here is my mom's and dad's parenting choices." (Mizuki)
The room was painfully silent for a while after that. Yeah, in retrospect, I should have just stayed silent and let him think I skipped class.
"Ah…uhm well…my apologies. Nice to meet you, Mizuki. Now then…" (professor)
The professor continued with the roll call after that, casting the occasional suspicious glance my way. Thankfully, the rest of the class passed without any additional spotlight on me, but I did feel the occasional stares from other students.
As soon as class ended, I swiftly exited the building and started making my way across campus. Most of my class load was concentrated on other days, so I was beginning my long walk to the bus stop to get back to my off-campus apartment.
I'd pulled out one of the manga volumes I was interested in, to read on the walk, but don't go making assumptions! I know I gave my parents a hard time over being weebs, but I never said that simply enjoying manga, light novels, or anime makes you a freak.
I'll have you know that I've been social enough to have girlfriends. Though, I'll admit that I'm not exactly 'experienced' in that regard…if you catch my drift. Still, I wasn't a complete shut-in, nor was I sleeping with some cardboard cutout. Though, I've got certain anime ladies I cherish, like any good fan.
While I was lost in thought about my persisting virg…err, I mean, reflecting on my admirable respect for women, I'd arrived at my destination. Looking across the street to the bus stop, I noticed a girl my age standing there. She was pretty cute, you see, and I recognized her from one of my classes – not my history class, thankfully.
Perhaps, since the subject was on my mind just earlier, I figured I could start up a conversation with her while we waited for the bus. Picking up my pace, I made my way over to her. I thought, 'hopefully I'll have better luck than this morning'. Unfortunately, it dawned on me…'crap, if I introduce myself, I'm going to have to explain my name'.
I froze in place before reaching her, and I was wondering if I should introduce myself to her with a different name. On the other hand, I was a little too far into college to start going by a new name, and me lying about my name would have been a terrible start to the already made-up relationship in my head.
While contemplating how I should proceed, I looked up again at the girl. 'That's weird', I remember thinking – 'why is there that alarming look on her face?'. I was also puzzled by why she was leaning sideways. Rather, she wasn't leaning sideways, it was like the whole world was sideways. At the same time, I was becoming aware of a sharp pain across one side of my body and my vision had begun to spin and go dark.
'Oh right', I thought, 'I stopped right in the middle of the street, didn't I?'.
I got hit by a bus.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
So, there you have it, you're all caught up! Currently, I'm just reflecting on my situation and my unfairly short life as I lay here dying in the street. Fortunately, the searing pain I felt initially is no longer present. Unfortunately, I don't have any other sensations either. I have the impression of being in a dark, sound-proofed room while under full body paralysis.
Is this what death is? Obviously, I'm not completely dead since I can reflect on the situation. Will I just slowly have a harder time thinking until I die? Come to think of it, it feels like I've been in this state for almost half an hour now, though it's kind of hard to gauge the passing of time without my senses.
Maybe paramedics made it to the scene in time, and I'm currently in a coma in the hospital?
No, from what I recall of coma patients that wake up after a long stretch of time, they usually weren't aware of time passing. I do recall patients that have been in less severe comas, or apparently unconscious, that have described being able to think and perceive the people talking around them. That's not the case here though. I have no sensations at all, yet my cognition seems completely intact.
If not a coma, then what…the afterlife?
I kind of 'snort' in my head. To me, it doesn't seem like any benevolent gods make it their business to interfere with events on Earth.
What else could it be, though? One way or another, something I can't explain is happening.
Before I have time to mull over my existential crisis further, my mind registers a faint tingling in my body, and a white light covers my field of view.
As the light fades, I notice that I'm sitting in a chair of some sort. At first glance, it appears that I'm sitting in the first row of a school auditorium, in front of a stage. I notice a guy sitting on the stage with his feet hanging off the front.
Err…he looks kind of like a slimmer version of that comedian, Tom Segura? Late 30s white guy, average height, slightly overweight build, with salt-and-pepper facial hair and close-shaved head.
For some inexplicable reason, he has headphones on that are plugged into an old Sony Walkman, and he is jamming out to music like I'm not here.
"Uh…hey…who the hell are you?" (Mizuki)
The guy gives me a surprised look.
"Oh…FINALLY! You're awake…did you enjoy your nap, princess?" (…)
As he says this, the guy starts pulling his headphones off and lets them rest around his neck, then leans forward and places his hands on his knees to observe me with a smirk.
"…?" (Mizuki)
"What, nothing to say? Oh wait…did I get the wrong language…" (…)
Tom not Segura seems to be muttering the last part to himself as he looks down, puzzled.
"Sorry, no, I heard you. I'm just a little confused what's happening here, and you never answered my question about who you are. On top of that…princess, really? Isn't that a little rude? Perhaps sexist, too?" (Mizuki)
"Ohhhhh, yeah, that makes sense!" (…)
Tom not Segura smiles as he says this, nodding his head appreciatively for the clarification. Then, he continues to stare at me, expectantly.
I guess we're just ignoring that princess jab of his.
"So…who are you?" (Mizuki)
"Right, right…I'm Dio." (Dio)
Dio still seems to be staring at me expectantly, as though his name should explain everything.
"Sure…err, but what do you, Dio, have to do with me, Mizuki? I don't recognize you. So, do we have friends in common, did you abduct me, are you a hallucination? What's going on, and how did I get here? You see what I mean?" (Mizuki)
Now that I think about it, why don't I seem to be injured at all? Last thing I remember, I seemed to have gotten hit by a bus or something. Although, that was just my inference, so maybe I was mistaken.
Could I have dreamt or hallucinated the whole thing? Or maybe I'm dreaming or hallucinating now? Maybe both? This whole situation is making my stomach turn.
"Oh, I guess you must not remember? I can answer those questions, I guess. If I do, can we say you owe me one?" (Dio)
Dio stares at me like a kindergartner that just proposed trading his broccoli for my chocolate bar…it's really unsettling.
Jeez, what is this guy's deal? I don't want to owe him anything…I can't just write you a blank check like that man! On the other hand, not knowing what is going on is creeping me out way more than owing Dio a favor, so maybe it's fine so long as I make stipulations?
Dio is still staring at me with mischievous excitement.
"Alright, sounds fair. But I won't do anything that's illegal, sexual, or excessively expensive. Also, you have to hold up your end of the deal first." (Mizuki)
Dio claps his hands together and flashes a wide smile my way. His expression plainly reads, 'What a sucker.'
"Excellent! Okay…where to start. Hmmm. First, we do not have friends in common. My friends have much better social skills than you. Second, no, I'm not a hallucination. I guess you could say I abducted you, but only technically." (Dio)
"What the hell man, that's kind of harsh don't you think!? What would you know about my social skills anyway? Also, are you openly admitting to abducting me!?" (Mizuki)
Following my shrill outburst, Dio makes a sound somewhere between snickering and stifled laughter.
"Pfffft…that's hilarious, dude. I can't believe you said that with a straight face. You were so scared of talking to that girl at the bus stop that you froze in the middle of the street. Also, if you want to talk about harsh, let's discuss the flirting you were about to subject her to." (Dio)
"…!?" (Mizuki)
There's no way this guy has friends…we met five minutes ago and he's treating this like my own personal roast.
Wait, if Dio was there at the bus stop…I wasn't dreaming, then? Also, is he just ignoring my abduction!?
"Regarding how you got here…" (Dio)
Oh, yup, he's totally ignoring my concerns.
"…after you froze like a loser in the middle of the street…" (Dio)
I see that he's still insulting me for no reason.
"…you got hit by a bus. You really should have checked the street before crossing. Seriously, what were you thinking? You looked terrible after it hit you, by the way. Your chances with that girl dropped from slim to zero." (Dio)
So, I was right, I did get hit by a bus! I'm still getting insulted, too.
"After that, you died. So, I healed your body and brought you here. Naturally, I couldn't get your consent since you were dead, so that's why it might technically have been an abduction. Although, I don't know if moving a corpse counts as abduction…hmmm." (Dio)
Dio looks off like he's pondering a philosophical question.
Oh, yay, he's finally addressing the abduction. WAIT, DID HE SAY I DIED!?!?
"Dio, what do you mean I died? Also, how did you heal my wounds? It seems like they would have been pretty bad, so it should be impossible for me to look unscathed like this." (Mizuki)
"Like, you experienced death, obviously. Your heart stopped, you had no brain activity, you lost most of your blood. You were total roadkill dude. Still, healing your body would only be impossible for humans. For a god, bringing you back to proper health was no problem!" (Dio)
I stare at Dio blankly for several moments, and he just smirks back.
"Sorry, but you can't expect me to just casually accept that you're a god, right?" (Mizuki)
"Why would I lie about that? What else would explain this?" (Dio)
"Ah…I'm dreaming, right?" (Mizuki)
Dio's face is screaming of emotional exhaustion.
"If you were dreaming, you wouldn't be able to experience pain, right? I can cut off your legs if you want." (Dio)
"…!? What is the matter with you!? There will be no cutting off my legs!" (Mizuki)
Dio sighs deeply, as if saying, 'suit yourself'. Then, he calmly walks over…and slaps me.
"…!? What gives, psycho, that hurt!" (Mizuki)
Dio smiles at me like I'm a student that answered his question correctly.
"Exactly! So, you're not dreaming, right?" (Dio)
I guess he's got me there, but that was a pretty dick move.
"Alright…that still doesn't make you a god, Dio." (Mizuki)
"Well, if we've established that this isn't a dream, then how do you explain your lack of injuries? And before you say that getting hit by that bus was a dream – how would I know what you dreamt about?" (Dio)
"…" (Mizuki)
He has a point, and I don't really have any other explanation, but…a god? As if sensing my train of thought, Dio presses on.
"If you need proof, I can use telekinesis…to tear off your legs?" (Dio)
"Jeez man, quit suggesting that! Alright, I get it. Cut me some slack…I'm an atheist. Seriously though, I've never even heard of a god named Dio?" (Mizuki)
"Oh, one of those, huh? My apologies, in that case let me just stop existing since it's inconvenient for you. You seem ignorant in general, so it's not really a surprise that you've never heard of me, right? My full name is Dionysus, though, so that could be the reason." (Dio)
Once again, there's no need for this level of emotional violence. That aside, even I recognize that name.
"You wouldn't happen to be Dionysus, the Greek god of entertainment, would you?" (Mizuki)
"Ah hah! So, you do know me! You're a little smarter than I gave you credit for. Also, I'm technically a godling, not a god. You humans just refer to me as a god, so I roll with it." (Dio)
Well, that's news to me. Him being that Greek god…sorry, godling…explains the stage setting I'm in at least.
"Sorry, Dio, but what's the difference?" (Mizuki)
Dio rolls his eyes at the question. Seemingly too bothered to answer, he waves his hand around in the air. Something hard hits my face then falls into my lap. Meanwhile, Dio looks like he's trying to suppress a smile. Looking down at my lap, I notice that it's a book that hit me.
Casting a suspicious glance over at Dio, who's no longer hiding his amused expression, I flip over the book and inspect it. The title reads, 'Gods vs Godlings for Dummies'. Hilarious.
Dio's douche tendencies aside, the book's contents are surprisingly informative.
Apparently, gods are higher existences that oversee planets capable of supporting life. Gods' power, personalities, and lifespans are independent of the planets they oversee. Oh yeah, apparently Earth isn't the only planet with life on it, and humans aren't the only kind of sentient life…the hits keep coming. Gods also are rarely worshipped by the people living on the planets they oversee, and they are usually older than those planets as well.
By contrast, godlings are beings of immense power that are, in a sense, created by the beliefs and/or customs of the people that live on a god's planet. When many sentient beings on a planet share a belief about something and regularly visualize or focus on an entity that they associate with that belief, a godling is incarnated that personifies those beliefs.
As a result, their power, personality, and lifespan are somewhat dependent on the strength of that planet's beliefs, and they are commonly worshipped by the people of that planet. While godlings don't have natural lifespans, and can't really be killed by normal means, they also can't outlive the planets they're attached to.
On each life-sustaining planet, there is one god, but there can be many godlings that are considered subordinate to that god. Gods only have the obligation to guide the development of complex life and prevent total annihilation, while godlings have virtually no obligations other than orders given by their overseeing god. Thus, gods and godlings rarely interfere with people's lives directly, and neither can be generally considered forces of 'good' or 'evil'. So, the situation on Earth during my life makes more sense with that in mind.
"So, is this what happens when people die then? Some godling explains the situation of the world and guides you into the afterlife?" (Mizuki)
"Uh…what are you prattling on about now? An afterlife? No dude, when you die that's all she wrote. Where'd you get a ridiculous idea like that from?" (Dio)
"…" (Mizuki)
"…?" (Dio)
"I mean I think that's pretty common in religions. Christianity talks about multiple afterlives depending on your actions during your life." (Mizuki)
Dio rolls his eyes, as if saying 'oh right, that guy'. Should I ask?
"Regardless, that's not a thing." (Dio)
"Well…what am I doing here then?" (Mizuki)
Looking at Dio, I'm feeling an unprecedented level of apprehension about his answer. Hearing my question, Dio begins to grin ear-to-ear ominously. His face seems to say, 'you finally asked the right question'. I'm not loving this vibe.
Dio reaches behind his back and pulls out a rolled piece of paper.
Wait…now that I'm looking closer, isn't that the manga I was reading before I got hit by the bus? Did he grab that off my body? Creepy, Dio.
Dio raises the manga and waves it so I can see it.
"So, since you're dead and won't need this anymore, mind if I keep it? (Dio)
I stare at Dio, dumbfounded.
"Hey, you remember that favor you owe me, I want to cash it in now. Let me have this." (Dio)
"…!?" (Mizuki)
Seriously, THAT'S what he had in mind? There's no way...
"Don't you dare back out of our deal, Mizuki! That would be totally unfair! I answered all your questions, and this isn't sexual, illegal, or costly. You HAVE to let me have it!" (Dio)
Dio's face is showing a mix of desperation and anger, like a child whose parents said he couldn't have ice cream like they promised. There's no doubt…for once he's not joking around.
"Sure, it's yours…" (Mizuki)
His eyes light up, then he immediately sits cross-legged on the stage and starts flipping through the manga. He's totally moved on from my situation.
"Dio…?" (Mizuki)
Without looking up from his manga, he responds with a disinterested 'hmm' sound.
"Did you revive me and drag me all the way here just to ask me for that manga?" (Mizuki)
Dio briefly casts his eyes up from the manga to give me a quizzical expression, like 'obviously, dumbass'.
"Of course, why else would I bring you here? It's not like you're interesting or anything. So, it's called manga huh? That's good to know…" (Dio)
This guy is unreal. I cannot believe I'm having this conversation.
"Hey, Mizuki! This guy in the manga got hit by a car and died. Were you trying to copy him or something? It seems like he's being brought back to life in another world, so I don't think you did it correctly." (Dio)
I'm going to ignore that insensitive dig about my tragic death.
"Yeah, that's the common theme in isekai stories. Say, Dio…if that's all you wanted, are you going to send me back now?" (Mizuki)
Dio looks at me skeptically.
"What, like back to Earth? Nah, dude. I mean it's not technically against the rules, but I'm sure the boss would be up my ass about it. You died quite a while ago, and rather publicly. If I send you back now, it will cause a huge commotion. I don't need that kind of hassle." (Dio)
Well, that's not good. I'm scared to ask, but…
"So…what happens to me now then?" (Mizuki)
"Eh…you're welcome to hang out I guess, just quit distracting me from my manga." (Dio)
Hang out? In this random auditorium…with Dio? Nope, absolutely not. Hard pass. I'd rather be dropped in front of the bus again than be subjected to his company for another minute.
"Righhhht…there's nothing to do here. I don't even see food or water, so I'd die in like three days tops, Dio." (Mizuki)
"Tch…" (Dio)
Did he really just click his tongue at me? Dio closes the manga in exasperation and looks up at me.
"Oh yeah, I guess so. Want me to kill you and get it over with? A second time, that is." (Dio)
That tracks…I'm not surprised that he considers that a desirable solution.
"Uhm…is there a third option, maybe?" (Mizuki)
Dio looks off to the side, as if pondering the question deeply. Somehow, I intuitively doubt the third option will be any better. Knowing him, it'll be something like 'cut off your legs, and then kill you?'. My optimism is dropping by the second.
Eventually, Dio looks back at me. A smirk slowly forms on his face, and his eyes narrow at me in a serious expression.
"I've got an idea, Mizuki." (Dio)
Oh crap, here we go.
"Why don't we try and send you to another world, like in this manga?" (Dio)