Make me an isekai protagonist? That's a little on the nose, no? I guess you can expect a little of that from a self-proclaimed god(ling) of entertainment.
If he's not joking though, which is a big if…now we're talking!
"If you're serious, that sounds awesome! Is that possible, though?" (Mizuki)
"Well…godlings aren't allowed to leave their home planets, nor can they interfere with other planets' ongoings. Naturally, a godling sending someone to another planet is an interference." (Dio)
"Then…?" (Mizuki)
"However, gods can travel between one another's planets and interfere if it's consensual. I've never heard of transplanting dead people between those planets, but I can't think of any explicit rule against it. I have an acquaintance who's the god of another planet that's a little…peculiar. From last we talked, my impression is that he might endorse something like this. If the god of Earth, who lets us godlings do as we please, is on board…I think it could be done." (Dio)
Oh, I'm not feeling good about this exchange – that was uncharacteristically straightforward and informative of Dio. He doesn't really strike me as the kind of guy who'd go through this much trouble just for my sake.
Unfortunately, his reasons won't affect my decision – this is better than the other options I've been presented so far.
"I'm sold, so how do we go about this?" (Mizuki)
"First, I'll send a thought communication to the god of the planet I had in mind to see if he's willing to experim…I mean, facilitate your transplantation." (Dio)
Yup, that bad feeling is getting worse.
"How long will it take to hear back from him?" (Mizuki)
"Oh, it's hard to guess exactly. I'd say longer than it took you to ruin your chances with bus stop girl, but less time than it'll take you to lose your virginity at this rate." (Dio)
Ahhh, there's the Dio I barely know and already hate. Now that he's back to himself, I strangely feel a bit more at ease.
"Don't be so sure, I haven't even tried wooing you yet, Dio." (Mizuki)
Dio's head snaps towards me with a bewildered expression. That's right jackass, wipe that smug look off your face.
I should probably press on, though, before he takes me too seriously.
"Now then, what's this reincarnation situation going to be like? Will I be reincarnated as a child of nobility?" (Mizuki)
"Are you that desperate to be as much of a baby on the outside as you are on the inside? Or maybe you've just got a fetish for spending the next five years soiling yourself while everyone talks to you like an imbecile?" (Dio)
Well, when he puts it like that it doesn't sound as appealing. Acknowledging my silence with a smirk, Dio continues.
"However…" (Dio)
Oh?
"It'd probably be possible to alter the age of your current body and just go with that. From what I recall, there are humans on that planet as well, so you shouldn't stick out too much physically." (Dio)
"Oh yeah? That sounds appealing. If I'm going to be starting over from scratch, and I won't be in a noble family…" (Mizuki)
Dio interrupts me.
"Definitely not." (Dio)
I'll ignore that.
"…in that case, I'd like to have as much of my younger years back as possible to help with rebuilding my life there. What's the youngest age that's considered an independent adult for humans on that planet?" (Mizuki)
"Eighteen." (Dio)
"…" (Mizuki)
"What?" (Dio)
"Nothing I just assumed it'd be fifteen. That's usually how it is in isekai stories." (Mizuki)
"You disappointed? Can't manage to get a girlfriend your own age so you hoped you'd be able to cradle rob yourself a harem, eh?" (Dio)
"Jesus, Dio, no. I was just…nevermind. Moving on…" (Mizuki)
"Whatever you say, dude. Also, don't lump me in with that guy." (Dio)
Really? I'm almost interested enough to ask at this point. Since he brough up harems though…
"Is polygamy normal on this planet?" (Mizuki)
"Oh, it's extremely common. Only rarely do you see a woman with one husband." (Dio)
Heh heh, niceee. Wait…what was that second part?
Noticing my excitement vanish, Dio begins laughing hysterically.
Seriously man? Are those tears coming out of your eyes!?
"Oh dude, you should have seen your face. That delivery was perfect. I totally crushed your dreams, didn't I?" (Dio)
Hmmm…if humans on Earth end up wiping one another out with nukes, Dio will die too, right? A guy can hope.
"Don't look so glum, Mizuki. In all seriousness, polygamy isn't stigmatized there like on Earth, but it's not ubiquitous either. Still, I wouldn't get too ahead of myself if I were you. I'm lacking confidence that you could please one woman, let alone multiple." (Dio)
Oh, how I long for the Earth to be covered in a sweet, sweet layer of mushroom clouds. It's too bad I won't get to experience that magical moment. I'll just take solace in the possibility.
Dio narrows his eyes at me.
"What are you thinking about?" (Dio)
"Hmm? Oh, just enjoying a magical fantasy." (Mizuki)
"You're in luck then. The planet you're going to, called Azura, is brimming with magic. There's all manner of magical beings, like you'll find in Earth mythology, and many of them are intelligent." (Dio)
That statement is enough to snap me out of my dark fantasy. Azura, huh, and it has actual magic?
"The bad news is that it's much less technologically advanced than Earth. The main weapons they have are swords, their medical knowledge is abysmal, and the lack of art and entertainment would be enough to personally drive me to suicide. Fortunately, magic is used to bridge the gap in the first two cases." (Dio)
Dio, please don't tease me with talk of suicide, I suffer enough from your jokes.
This other world, though, it sounds like an actual realm of swords and sorcery. I can't believe my luck; he might respect a staple of isekai stories here! That planet having magic does raise an interesting question…
"Dio, does Earth have magic?" (Mizuki)
"Nope." (Dio)
"Huh, so are planets with magic rare then?" (Mizuki)
"Not at all, actually. Earth not having magic is a stroke of bad luck on par with that of women that meet you." (Dio)
Before I can even be mad about him insulting me, he suddenly perks up.
"Oh ho, you're in luck dude! Looks like the god of Azura was enough of a suck…I mean, kind enough to accept you as a transplant. It seems that transferring people between worlds isn't new to him either. According to him, you're likely to have quite the interesting time on his planet. You'll be meeting him before you descend to the planet, so he can give you more details. Any final questions before you're his problem?" (Dio)
Hospitable as always, I see.
"Yeah, actually, why…" (Mizuki)
"Great, bye then!" (Dio)
He really committed to being a jackass, right until the end, huh? I almost admire his conviction.
After his flippant goodbye, my vision is enveloped by a white light again.
"Wait, Dio, you never told me what's in this for you!" (Mizuki)
As he fades from my vision, I wonder if he heard my final question. He was being uncharacteristically helpful since suggesting this whole isekai situation, and his unknown motivations are giving me an increasingly uneasy feeling.
Right before he escapes my view entirely, I swear I see him smirk and wink at me.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
When my vision returns to normal, I notice that I've moved to a large office. I'm sitting in one of two chairs in front of an ornate wooden desk, and floor-to-ceiling bookshelves line the walls around me. Overall, the room has the ambiance of the dean's office at my college.
Across the desk, a man is sitting in an expensive-looking high-backed leather chair. He has sandy blonde hair that is probably shoulder-length normally, but it's currently pulled back into a neat man bun. He is almost comically handsome, with a chiseled jaw line and light stubble that matches his hair. His physique is similarly impressive, boasting a tall, lean frame covered by a thick layer of muscle that is evident even through his clothes.
In laughable contrast, his attire screams 'bookworm'. He is wearing a black turtleneck sweater underneath a white lab coat, and his face sports plain round glasses that look suspiciously ornamental. Overall, I'd describe his vibe as a Hemsworth LARPing as a tv scientist.
Is this guy the god of Azura?
When I first arrived, god-scientist Hemsworth was leaning over his desk reading a book, but after noticing my presence he looks up to meet my gaze. Pushing his glasses up on his nose, he offers me a polite but businesslike smile.
"Ah, Mizuki I presume? It's very nice to meet you. My name is Azazel, and I'm the god responsible for Azura. From what Dio told me, it sounds like you've been through quite the ordeal! I hope you're feeling a little better now. Can I offer you any refreshments?" (Azazel)
Azazel materializes a bottle of water in his hand and gently offers it to me. The label reads 'Heavenly Water'. Huh, I guess every god has their own sense of humor.
"T-T-Thank you, that's very kind of you. Having the secrets of the universe dumped on me by an indifferent god – sorry, godling – was a little overwhelming. However, I'm very happy to be here now, so thank you very much for this opportunity." (Mizuki)
As I respond to his greeting, I nervously grab the water bottle from him. Maybe my past interactions with Dio are making me suspicious, but I'm downright on edge about how pleasant this guy is. Also, the name 'Azazel' sounds vaguely like a powerful demon from Earth mythology. Am I really this jaded?
"Tch…yes, I apologize for any unscrupulous behavior on Dio's part. Even among deities he's somewhat of an acquired taste. In his defense, godlings' personalities are amalgamations of the beliefs they incarnate from. Naturally, a being that personifies partying and entertainment might be a little…dramatic…so, I hope that you'll forgive him." (Azazel)
Jeez…he's being generous with his defense of Dio. Putting aside the fact that Dio totally doesn't deserve anyone's compassion, it's obvious that Azazel is a good dude. He's orders in magnitude more likable than Dio – this soon after meeting, Dio had already insulted me at least three times.
If it'll put Azazel's heart at ease, I think I can stomach letting Dio off the hook, at least outwardly.
"Please, no need to worry. At the end of the day, Dio brought me back from the brink of death and advocated for me getting this opportunity, so I should be quite grateful to him when you think about it!" (Mizuki)
While true, I'll cut out my own tongue before I ever admit that to Dio. However, Azazel seems to take this at face value as I'd hoped. He lets out a smile filled with relief.
"Excellent! So then, about transferring to this world…how much did Dio tell you?" (Azazel)
"Err…that there were humans living on Azura as well as a wide variety of other species, including several intelligent ones. He mentioned that this world is plentiful in magic, but much less scientifically advanced than Earth. Oh! He also implied that people transplanting to other worlds is something you have experience with?" (Mizuki)
As I recount the limited information I got from Dio, Azazel listens intently while resting his chin on his clasped hands. He nods along politely to my statements, seemingly acknowledging their truth.
"Very well, that's a reasonable starting point. Allow me to give you a short summary of the history of Azura." (Azazel)
In terms of politeness and thoroughness, explanations from Azazel are far superior to those from another jackass deity I won't name. Apparently, Azazel is considered somewhat of an oddball among deities, since he finds mortals fascinating and loves studying them.
Originally, Azura was only home to humans and several unintelligent species. However, whenever Azazel would meet with other gods for one reason or another, he'd also take the opportunity to check out the planets they governed.
Whenever he found a new species that interested him, he would appeal to the local god of that planet to let him transplant some of those beings to Azura. To minimize the impact, he'd just revive beings of that species that recently died and de-age them, if necessary, then transfer them to Azura. He'd repeat this over several days until he had enough to jumpstart the population.
For newly transferred intelligent species, he'd introduce himself and explain the situation. As a result, every species on Azura started out aware of Azazel's existence and his status as the only god of the planet. He also apparently told them that he had no intention of interfering, except to transfer new species or prevent planetary-level extinction events. So, he emphasized that they were free to live their lives however they wished, and their lives would be the result of their own efforts and chance.
Since all these new species spoke different languages from their home planets, and Azazel wanted to minimize friction between the residents of Azura, he imbued every new resident with the ability to speak a common language already known by the human tribes indigenous to Azura.
Over time, the various intelligent species of Azura passed down all this knowledge through the generations. Because everyone started off knowing about the state of gods and godlings on Azura, and they were clearly told that they'd be on their own, no godlings have been born. The only thing close to a religion is a deistic one centered on Azazel.
I asked Azazel how all these different forms of independently evolved life can coexist on a single planet. I worried that species from different planets would need different atmospheres, carry strange pathogens that are uniquely dangerous, not fit into the same ecosystems or food chains, or be otherwise incompatible with one another. Apparently, the reason this isn't an issue is because all forms of life across the universe share a common ancestry.
According to Azazel, gods didn't come up with the idea of carbon-based lifeforms. It was just some absurdly rare chance occurrence that only ever happened once, and the deities that found it just nurtured its evolution, then copied and modified it to spread life across the universe. The most common intelligent species now is humans, by far.
Planets deemed potentially suitable for this type of life are assigned to gods, who then tweak the planet's conditions until carbon-based life can thrive. He explained that creating full Earth-like conditions from scratch, or even significantly altering barren planets and star systems to mimic them, is a feat beyond even gods, so surveying for suitable planets is quite important.
So, there you have it, the history of why Azura is such a diverse and vibrant world. As best he could calculate, Azazel has been accumulating species on Azura for hundreds of thousands of years, but the last new species transplant was over ten thousand years ago. So, the societies on Azura have mostly stabilized.
As Azazel finishes his synopsis, he smiles and nods to himself, pleased with the explanation. I lean back in my chair to absorb the life-changing amount of information he has just dropped in my lap.
"Aha! You seemed to take all that well, Mizuki. Thanks for listening to my long-winded explanation. I really enjoyed getting to share this with someone, since most of the other gods don't seem to have an interest in it. With that out of the way, are there any other questions you'd like me to answer?" (Azazel)
Poor guy, it sounds like he has a hard time making friends among the other deities. Personally, I was very grateful for his explanation. However, he tends to overload his responses with information out of excitement, and I can see how that might grow tiring if you have no interest in the subject. In my case, though, I need lots of questions answered, so it's great that he's more forthcoming than Dio.
"It sounds like humans were already a long-standing part of Azura's history, so I was a little curious why you agreed to take me in. Do you mind telling me?" (Mizuki)
"Oh, great question! You see, I'm also very interested in the cultures and ideas that new people bring to Azura. In addition, some species can develop quite differently depending on the environment of their home planet. So, just because someone is the same species as other beings already on Azura, doesn't mean they have nothing to offer!" (Azazel)
He pauses as though checking if I have questions, but I nod for him to continue.
"I was particularly intrigued by Earth's lack of magic. I've accepted human transfers from planets with less magic than Azura before, but Earth is an unprecedented outlier in that category!" (Azazel)
Well, that's good to know. Azazel seems like a dude that really values the little guys. I appreciate that sentiment. It's also great to hear humans have come from multiple different planets to Azura without noteworthy issues.
"Okay, next question. Just what kinds of other species exist in Azura?" (Mizuki)
"Let's see…from what I understand, most of the species spoken of in Earth's fables and mythologies derive from Azura. Some of the intelligent species of Azura include humans, elves, demons, dwarves, Elder Dragons and dragonkin, mermaids, fey, Greater Spirits, and a variety of demi-humans. Unintelligent or minimal intelligence species include most of those from Earth, in addition to orcs, minor dragons, minor spirits, goblins, ogres, giants, basilisks, griffins, yetis, and pegasi." (Azazel)
He once again pauses in case I have questions, but I wave dismissively.
"You'll notice that some species have intelligent and unintelligent sub-races. For example, there are four Elder Dragons of unrivaled power in this world, and they are intelligent. They weren't killed on their home planet, they were just curious about Azura, so I agreed to bring them here. By contrast, minor dragons are powerful beasts created by the Elder Dragons with the approximate intelligence of a wolf." (Azazel)
That's…a lot to process. My main takeaway is – don't screw with Elder Dragons.
"Third question – how does magic work, and will I be able to use it?" (Mizuki)
This is easily the question I'm most excited to hear the answer to, so I lean in expectantly.
"Ohhh, yes…the truth is that I don't really know. You should be able to find out on Azura – they've developed methods to assess your magic abilities. What I can tell you is that almost every human on Azura can use magic to some degree, and every human I've brought from another planet before has been able to use magic. I've noticed in my research that humans from planets with less magic than Azura become more powerful here. I'm not sure of the reason." (Azazel)
Nice! I like the sound of that.
"However, Earth is unique. All those other planets the humans transferred from still had magic, just less of it, and the humans were able to utilize magic to a practical degree even on their home planets. Earth has no magic or magicians. Honestly, on Azura you could be completely incapable of wielding magic, or you might become the strongest being on the planet. I don't know which, but I'm excited to find out!" (Azazel)
Hmm…I get that he can't be sure it will apply to me, but I can't help but be optimistic!
"As for how magic works, it involves reciting incantations to cast spells. The people of Azura have three basic spell classes: elemental, alteration, and dark. Elemental spells involve manipulation of things like fire, wind, water, and earth. Alteration spells include healing, body enhancement, and weapon enhancement. Dark class is full of rare spells that don't fall into the first two categories. This has previously included things like making an item box or invisibility." (Azazel)
Teleportation and time manipulation don't seem to be included in dark spell examples. That seems like something that would be notable if a person had managed to achieve it, so does that mean those spells don't exist? I'll have to remember to investigate that, because teleportation would be pretty sweet.
"People on Azura are limited to aptitude for a single class of spells, and even then, it's rare for them to be able to master all subtypes of a spell class. The exception to this has been the human transfers from more advanced planets with less magic – they can usually wield two classes of spells with a high diversity of subtypes. For example, one elemental class could also change rock into gold, which is a dark class spell." (Azazel)
Now that's quite the wealth of information. In my opinion, all the elemental spells are just manipulating different forms of matter, which would also be true for changing rocks into gold. In the latter case, it's just a matter of rearranging the protons, neutrons, and electrons in the atoms.
However, based on Azazel's descriptions of Azura's scientific advancement, atoms and atomic structure isn't something they'd know about. So, it makes sense that they'd consider them different classes of magic.
Azazel mentioned that the humans from more advanced worlds had a better range of spell affinities. Is it possible that using magic properly requires some fundamental understanding of how you're affecting the natural world, and those human transplants just understood that seemingly unrelated spells were similar at their core?
In that case, the single magic class trend on Azura may be from a limitation in how primitive humans think about the world. If so…
"Hey, Azazel. Why does casting magic require an incantation? If you're just shouting words in front of you, what does that have to do with producing a spell. You said people from other worlds, who probably had different home languages, could already use magic. So, obviously the exact words of an incantation aren't necessary. Is it even needed at all? I've seen you and Dio cast spells without speaking." (Mizuki)
In response to this question, shock flashes across Azazel's face. However, he quickly suppresses it, then narrows his eyes at me with a polite smile.
"Well, what Dio and I did isn't magic, it's something else specific to deities. It wouldn't be of any use to mortals. As for whether magic requires incantations to use, all I can tell you is that I've seen mortals try casting spells without incantations. In the rare cases where it works, it is inferior to spells cast with incantations." (Azazel)
That's weird behavior from him, he's being uncharacteristically mysterious with his answers. Normally he'd jump at the chance to explain this awesome deity power in detail. That aside, he did confirm that incantation-less spells aren't completely impossible.
I'm becoming more convinced that magic is just some form of energy, and spells are just using that energy to alter the natural world to fit your mental image of it. If so, incantations might just be a visualization tool that makes up for your lack of understanding about how the spell is altering the world. An interesting theory.
"Okay, final and most important question before we move on to me starting my life on Azura. Am I going to stand out there with a name like 'Mizuki'? If so, I totally want you to help me come up with a more normal name for my new life here." (Mizuki)
Upon hearing that, Azazel fixes his gaze on me with a look of genuine confusion.
"Uhm…no? That doesn't seem that weird to me. I think that there are plenty of similar sounding names among the humans on Azura. Is your name uncommon on Earth?" (Azazel)
"Well, not really. It's just uncommon for humans that live on the area of Earth that I do and look like me, so it always made me stick out. I'd like to avoid that here." (Mizuki)
"Ahh, I see. Well, the humans of Azura don't vary that much in appearance as far as I know, so that problem doesn't really exist here. Most of them have a similar skin tone to yours, and many have dark brown hair like yours. If anything were to make you stick out, it would be your eyes. I'm not aware of a single human on Azura currently that doesn't have brown eyes, so your green eyes are quite the anomaly." (Azazel)
Can't say that I was expecting that response. Whatever, if I don't have to change my name, that's good news to me. Having unique eyes doesn't sound like a bad thing. I can live with that.
"Alright, then I think I'm all set, Azazel. Let's discuss next steps! First, what godly gifts will I be taking with me?" (Mizuki)
In every isekai, the protagonist is granted unique items or abilities by the god overseeing their travel to a new world. Needless to say, I'm pretty stoked about this.
Azazel once again gives me a perplexed expression.
"Err…I was just going to give you the ability to speak and understand the Common language on Azura to get you started. Was there something else you wanted?" (Azazel)
Well crap…should I try and backtrack? Nah, Azazel seems like a chill guy. I'm starting over after all, and I need every advantage I can get.
Best to go for broke and ask for everything I can! Worst he can say is no, right? I doubt he'd hold it against me.
"Well, if you're open to requests, I was hoping you could give me the ability to read, write, speak, and understand every form of communication on Azura, not just Common. I also want a book that covers all the widely known spells and incantations on Azura, and another one with details on all the different types of species known to inhabit Azura. Finally, it'd be nice if you could de-age me to eighteen years old, since that's the age I'm first considered a full adult here." (Mizuki)
"Seriously!? Every language!?" (Azazel)
Azazel directs an incredulous expression at me as he responds shrilly.
That's the unreasonable one? That's the most like what he was going to do anyway.
"I mean…if you don't mind?" (Mizuki)
Azazel lets out a deep sigh and stands up. Holy crap, I forgot how jacked he was! I hope he's not about to beat my ass for all those requests…I might have overdone it.
Fortunately, Azazel walks over to a bookshelf on the wall and grabs two books. He walks back over to where I am and hands them to me. Then he snaps his fingers and I feel a soft warmth run through my body.
"There…I've imbued you with all the languages of Azura and returned your body to the requested age. I'm afraid I can't do anything about your eyes, though. Those two books are the ones you requested. Oh, and now that I think about it, I should give you this." (Azazel)
He produces a ring in his hand and presents it to me. It looks like a silver wedding band.
"Ehh…thanks, Azazel. You know, I'm flattered and all, but don't you think this is moving a little fast? Also, I really prefer women." (Mizuki)
Unfazed by my joke, he just drops the ring in my hand. Then, a small smile slowly spreads across his face.
"Oh, don't worry, it's nothing so flattering for you. You'll just need that a little later is all." (Azazel)
Oh shit, that's ominous. I don't like it! Bring back sweet, nerdy Azazel!
"T-Thanks…what for?" (Mizuki)
"For now, let's just discuss getting you to Azura safely." (Azazel)
Oh boy. Yup, he dodged that question. I cautiously put the ring on my left index finger, but nothing seems to happen.
Guess it's fine then. I should've known Azazel wouldn't do anything mean to me. He's not Dio, after all.
"When I send you down there, you're going to arrive on the outskirts of a neutral city-state called Elmesia. In principle, it's a haven that welcomes all the major intelligent species that have settled on Azura. The residents are mostly human, however, since the nearby countries are human territories." (Azazel)
A democratic city, huh? I wonder if he's sending me there, so I'll feel more at home to start off.
"When you arrive at Elmesia's entry gate, tell the guards that you've just turned eighteen and you left your small nearby village to come register with the adventurer's guild. Make your way to the guild and register, and they should be able to explain everything you need to get started there. They'll also have plenty of information about the state of the world and the different territories of Azura. Any questions?" (Azazel)
"Just one. I'm an outsider descending on the planet you're responsible for, so is there anything I'm not allowed to do, anything that's generally off-limits, or any major developments on the planet I need to know about?" (Mizuki)
"As long as you don't fundamentally threaten life on Azura, I'm committed to a policy of noninterference. Please feel free to live your life however you chose otherwise. As far as major developments on the planet…I've heard rumors of some powerful being emerging. However, I have yet to see any evidence of a malicious force making moves on a global stage. Likely, you have nothing to worry about." (Azazel)
Well, a big baddie would certainly fit with the isekai formula, but it sounds like it could just be a baseless rumor. Nothing I can do about it now. My new life is waiting!
"All right then, Azazel, I'm ready. Thanks for all your help, I really appreciate it. You can zap me down there now!" (Mizuki)
"Oh, no, I can't magically teleport you down there. You'll be heading down another way." (Azazel)
"What? Why can't you just do the white light transport thing that Dio did to send me here?" (Mizuki)
"Oh, that? Oh, you know, there's just so much magic around Azura that sometimes the energy fluctuations interfere with that technique. Don't worry, we'll get you down there safe and sound." (Azazel)
Ohhh that's pinging my bullshit radar for sure, Azazel. That answer sounds made up. I narrow my eyes at him.
"So, how will I get down there then?" (Mizuki)
Azazel gives a way too friendly smile, like 'I'm so glad you asked', and gestures behind me. I turn around and see a big sign on the wall behind me that reads 'To Azura'. I did not notice it there before. Below the sign is a hatch in the wall that kind of resembles the access point to a trash chute.
"Whenever you're ready, Mizuki." (Azazel)
Seriously? I guess he's not joking about this.
I walk over to the hatch and open it. As I feared, it's basically a dark looking slide that I can't see the bottom of, and it looks steep. I turn around and cast a fearful gaze at Azazel, but he just smiles and nods as if to say, 'there you go, that's it'.
I turn my gaze back towards the slide from hell and position myself on the edge of it. I take a deep breath, then launch myself down it. As I begin accelerating away from the hatch, I hear a voice echo down the slide behind me.
"Tch…every language, how ridiculous."