Before I have time to mull over my existential crisis further, my mind registers a faint tingling in my body, and a white light covers my field of view.
As the light fades, I notice that I'm sitting in a chair of some sort. At first glance, it appears that I'm sitting in the first row of a school auditorium, in front of a stage. I notice a guy sitting on the stage with his feet hanging off the front.
Err…he looks kind of like a slimmer version of that comedian, Tom Segura? Late 30s white guy, average height, slightly overweight build, with salt-and-pepper facial hair and close-shaved head.
For some inexplicable reason, he has headphones on that are plugged into an old Sony Walkman, and he is jamming out to music like I'm not here.
"Uh…hey…who the hell are you?" (Mizuki)
The guy gives me a surprised look.
"Oh…FINALLY! You're awake…did you enjoy your nap, princess?" (…)
As he says this, the guy starts pulling his headphones off and lets them rest around his neck, then leans forward and places his hands on his knees to observe me with a smirk.
"…?" (Mizuki)
"What, nothing to say? Oh wait…did I get the wrong language…" (…)
Tom not Segura seems to be muttering the last part to himself as he looks down, puzzled.
"Sorry, no, I heard you. I'm just a little confused what's happening here, and you never answered my question about who you are. On top of that…princess, really? Isn't that a little rude? Perhaps sexist, too?" (Mizuki)
"Ohhhhh, yeah, that makes sense!" (…)
Tom not Segura smiles as he says this, nodding his head appreciatively for the clarification. Then, he continues to stare at me, expectantly.
I guess we're just ignoring that princess jab of his.
"So…who are you?" (Mizuki)
"Right, right…I'm Dio." (Dio)
Dio still seems to be staring at me expectantly, as though his name should explain everything.
"Sure…err, but what do you, Dio, have to do with me, Mizuki? I don't recognize you. So, do we have friends in common, did you abduct me, are you a hallucination? What's going on, and how did I get here? You see what I mean?" (Mizuki)
Now that I think about it, why don't I seem to be injured at all? Last thing I remember, I seemed to have gotten hit by a bus or something. Although, that was just my inference, so maybe I was mistaken.
Could I have dreamt or hallucinated the whole thing? Or maybe I'm dreaming or hallucinating now? Maybe both? This whole situation is making my stomach turn.
"Oh, I guess you must not remember? I can answer those questions, I guess. If I do, can we say you owe me one?" (Dio)
Dio stares at me like a kindergartner that just proposed trading his broccoli for my chocolate bar…it's really unsettling.
Jeez, what is this guy's deal? I don't want to owe him anything…I can't just write you a blank check like that man! On the other hand, not knowing what is going on is creeping me out way more than owing Dio a favor, so maybe it's fine so long as I make stipulations?
Dio is still staring at me with mischievous excitement.
"Alright, sounds fair. But I won't do anything that's illegal, sexual, or excessively expensive. Also, you have to hold up your end of the deal first." (Mizuki)
Dio claps his hands together and flashes a wide smile my way. His expression plainly reads, 'What a sucker.'
"Excellent! Okay…where to start. Hmmm. First, we do not have friends in common. My friends have much better social skills than you. Second, no, I'm not a hallucination. I guess you could say I abducted you, but only technically." (Dio)
"What the hell man, that's kind of harsh don't you think!? What would you know about my social skills anyway? Also, are you openly admitting to abducting me!?" (Mizuki)
Following my shrill outburst, Dio makes a sound somewhere between snickering and stifled laughter.
"Pfffft…that's hilarious, dude. I can't believe you said that with a straight face. You were so scared of talking to that girl at the bus stop that you froze in the middle of the street. Also, if you want to talk about harsh, let's discuss the flirting you were about to subject her to." (Dio)
"…!?" (Mizuki)
There's no way this guy has friends…we met five minutes ago and he's treating this like my own personal roast.
Wait, if Dio was there at the bus stop…I wasn't dreaming, then? Also, is he just ignoring my abduction!?
"Regarding how you got here…" (Dio)
Oh, yup, he's totally ignoring my concerns.
"…after you froze like a loser in the middle of the street…" (Dio)
I see that he's still insulting me for no reason.
"…you got hit by a bus. You really should have checked the street before crossing. Seriously, what were you thinking? You looked terrible after it hit you, by the way. Your chances with that girl dropped from slim to zero." (Dio)
So, I was right, I did get hit by a bus! I'm still getting insulted, too.
"After that, you died. So, I healed your body and brought you here. Naturally, I couldn't get your consent since you were dead, so that's why it might technically have been an abduction. Although, I don't know if moving a corpse counts as abduction…hmmm." (Dio)
Dio looks off like he's pondering a philosophical question.
Oh, yay, he's finally addressing the abduction. WAIT, DID HE SAY I DIED!?!?