IMPERFECTLY PERFECT PERSON
"In a life of regrets and missed opportunities, I, an introverted soul merely existing, found unexpected salvation in a girl battling anxiety—a twist that rewrote my entire story."
Opening:
It was Saturday morning, and as I got up, I was surprised not to see a text from Tsula. It was unusual because she would usually text me good morning every day. I decided to text her first and went to wash up, hoping for a response by the time I was done.
Hours passed, and there was still no reply. I started to worry. Was she alright? The day dragged on, and as evening approached, there was still no response. I checked my phone repeatedly, but my message hadn't even been delivered. My mind raced with possibilities—was something wrong? Was she avoiding me?
Sunday came, and the silence continued. The absence of her texts made me feel lonely and restless. By Monday, I was determined to find out what was going on. I got ready for class, hoping to catch her and ask her directly.
On my way to school, I saw her walking on the other side of the road. She was alone, a perfect chance to talk to her. I quickened my pace, but just as I was about to call out to her, a friend joined her, and they started walking together. My chance slipped away.
The next day, I tried to time my journey to school to match hers. I didn't see her that day, but I was persistent. On the third day, I finally saw her again, alone this time. I approached her nervously.
"Good morning, Tsula," I said, trying to sound casual.
"Oh, good morning, Ashan," she replied with a warm smile.
As we talked, I mustered up the courage to ask, "What happened? Why did you stop replying?"
She smiled again, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Oh, that? My honey and i had a quarrel and than the phone went under the water, and now it's busted."
I was taken aback. Was she teasing me, or was she telling the truth? And who was this "honey" she mentioned? Keeping my composure, I continued talking to her until we reached class.
Days went by, and the thought of her "honey" lingered in my mind. I decided to ask Sunit about it. Sunit confirmed that Tsula's phone had indeed broken. Maybe she was just teasing me after all.
Without her texts, I started to miss her more than I expected. I tried to fill the void with games and anime, but my thoughts kept drifting back to her. What was she doing? How was she feeling? The silence was getting to me, and I realized just how much I had come to rely on our daily interactions.
And so the days continued with no texts whatsoever, and I started to miss her more deeply. I tried to immerse myself in games and anime to pass the time, but my mind kept drifting back to Tsula. What was she doing? How was she feeling? Did she miss our conversations as much as I did? The questions haunted me, filling the void her absence had created.
I still saw her in class, but things had changed. We didn't talk like we used to, and it hurt. I wished I could be more like the others who spoke to her so effortlessly. Every missed opportunity to talk to her felt like a weight pressing down on me, making me feel more isolated.
Weeks passed, and the emptiness grew. The selection exams loomed ahead, so I focused on studying, hoping to distract myself from the loneliness. To my surprise, I scored around 90% on the exams. The principal encouraged me to aim for top grades, but I couldn't share in their enthusiasm. The praise felt hollow because I knew it came with expectations I didn't want to meet.
Months went by, and the school year ended. It was a new year, but nothing had changed for me. I spent New Year's Eve alone in my bed, avoiding gatherings and hoping for a message from Tsula that never came. When classes resumed, it was a struggle to face each day knowing we were drifting further apart.
As the months went by, it was time for the 10th board exams. I went through the motions, studying and attending classes, but my heart wasn't in it. The days blurred together, each one as monotonous as the last. I tried to muster the courage to talk to her, but my attempts always fell short. I wished I could be different, braver, more confident.
One evening, I found myself staring at my phone, the empty chat with Tsula taunting me. I remembered the days when our conversations filled the screen, her texts a constant source of joy. Now, there was only silence. I wondered if she ever thought about me, if she missed our late-night talks and shared laughs.
The ache of her absence gnawed at me, growing stronger with each passing day. I replayed our last conversation in my mind, her smile, the sound of her voice. It all seemed like a distant memory, fading with time. The new year brought no relief, only a deeper sense of longing.
During the board exams, I felt a strange mix of determination and despair. I wanted to do well, but my heart wasn't in it. The pressure from the school and my own expectations weighed heavily on me. I pushed through, but the emptiness remained, a constant reminder of what I had lost.
One night, as I lay in bed, unable to sleep, I realized how much Tsula had become a part of my life. Her absence left a void that nothing else could fill. The days without her felt incomplete, and I couldn't shake the feeling that something important was missing.
As the board exams ended, I faced the prospect of more months without her. The thought was unbearable, but I had no choice. I had to find a way to move forward, to fill the void with something else. But deep down, I knew that nothing could replace the connection we once had.
Oh yes during the last day of exams, to my surprise, I saw Tsula on the way to school. We talked, though I can't recall the exact conversation. All I remember is the joy of speaking with her after such a long time. The exam had ended, marking the beginning of vacation. As any introverted person would, I spent my days in my room, glued to my phone, playing games, and watching anime, avoiding any social interaction.
When the results came out, I found that I had scored in the first division, but not at the top. I wasn't surprised; I knew I hadn't tried my hardest. While there was some sadness about not meeting others' expectations, I tried not to dwell on it. It was time to leave my school, and as I went to collect my results, I realized I wouldn't get to see Tsula one last time. Looking back at the school, I thought of the fun memories and felt a pang of sadness as I said goodbye to the place and my friends, especially Tsula.
Weeks passed, and my parents had enrolled me in a different school in a district called Dimapur, at Holy Cross. The thought of moving out soon filled me with a sense of melancholy. Then, on June 8th, I received a random text saying, "Hi. I finally got your number."
Surprised, I replied, "Oh, okay, but who are you?"
The response came swiftly, "It's me, Tsula. It took a really long time for me to get your number."
"Haha, is that so," I texted back, feeling a wave of happiness. "Yes, you don't know how much trouble I went through. I asked a lot of our classmates about your number but couldn't get it at all. Finally, I got it from Sunit."
"Hehe, I don't really share my number with just anybody, you know."
"So annoying," she responded playfully.
We kept texting, catching up with each other, and enjoying the conversation. We chatted almost the entire day, and as night fell, we exchanged goodnight messages. Lying in bed, I couldn't stop smiling, thinking about how happy I was to be in touch with her again. I realized how much I had missed her, and that night, I slept with a smile, feeling content and hopeful about our renewed connection.
It's been a few weeks since Tsula and I started texting again, and somehow, I feel like we've gotten even closer than we were before. Despite the long period of no contact, it feels as though the distance between us has evaporated, and I really like that feeling.
Tsula told me she's now studying in Kohima for her 11th grade. The thought of not being in the same school again made me a bit sad. I won't be able to see her every day, and that realization hit me harder than I expected. But knowing we were still in touch brought me comfort and happiness.
As the time for our classes to start approached, a new challenge emerged. A virus outbreak called COVID-19 led to the closure of all educational institutions. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months with no news of reopening. The uncertainty and isolation weighed heavily on me, but there was a silver lining – my constant connection with Tsula.
Months passed with me mostly sleeping in my room, playing games, and watching anime. Typical introvert activities, except for the constant conversations with Tsula. Being around her, even if only virtually, was never boring. We became closer with each passing day, sharing our thoughts, worries, and dreams. She often talked about her past, and I was always there to comfort and support her.
One day, I received a text from a random person. It turned out to be a classmate from my 11th grade who wanted to ask about our classes, which I had no clue about. Surprisingly, we vibed quite well, bonding over our shared love for anime and games. Despite that, we had a strange dynamic – constantly arguing and jokingly calling each other gay. It was a silly but fun way to pass the time and added a new dimension to my otherwise monotonous days.
And so, the day finally came for the classes to reopen. However, there was a twist – we would be having our 11th-grade exams on the very first day. Apparently, online classes had been conducted during the lockdown, but I had never attended any of them. Now, I had to face the exams unprepared.
Time had passed so quickly during COVID. For introverts like me, it was a surprisingly comfortable period. I spent my days in my room, escaping into games and anime, with Tsula's constant texts being my only real connection to the outside world.
Moving to Dimapur for the first time in ages felt surreal. I relocated to live with my cousin brothers, Hanks and Athree. They were supportive, and their presence made the transition easier. The new environment was both exciting and daunting.
The morning of the exam, I walked into my new school for the first time. The atmosphere was tense, with everyone frantically reviewing their notes. I felt like an outsider, unprepared and unsure of what to expect.
"Wish me luck, y'all," I thought to myself, feeling the weight of the moment. It felt like going to war after playing PUBG – thrilling yet terrifying.
As I sat down to write my exams, I couldn't help but reflect on how much had changed. From the carefree days of texting with Tsula to this pivotal moment, life had moved so quickly. I wondered how she was doing and if she was facing the same challenges.
With a deep breath, I began to write. The questions were tough, and I felt the pressure mounting. But I remembered Tsula's words of encouragement, her belief in me, and that gave me strength.
Every page turned was a step forward, and with each answer, I grew more determined. This was more than just an exam; it was a new beginning, a chance to prove to myself that I could adapt and thrive in this new chapter of my life.
As the exam ended, I felt a strange mix of relief and anticipation. The journey ahead was uncertain, but I was ready to face it head-on. And somewhere in my heart, I knew that as long as I had people like Tsula and my family by my side, I could handle whatever came my way.