"And is that all?" said the grumpy old shopkeeper Talen with a codescending voice as he finally listed all the items on the paper in front of him.
"Ahh, right, there are another ones," said the bizarre-looking customer. Just let me open the folds.".
-froosh-
The list that was already large now was absurdly giant and made its way to the street, passing under the door as it thumped onto the ground.
"Ehm, the "virgin tears" on the list will not be outsourced." The young man forced an awkward smile as he was talking.
"Hmm, and who will be the donor? May I ask?"
"me."
...
"Ahh, I see, and you said it was a life-or-death situation, right?"
"Yes, they have to be provided by this evening."
"I see"
"Aaand??"
"Get the fuck out of my shop."
"Sorry?"
"YES YOU FUCKING SHOULD BE YOU SORRY EXCUSE OF VIRGIN GET THE FUCKK OUT OF MY SHOP YOU FUCKER!!é(/&%) As the shouts of the old man Talen became incoherent, he made a move to swing the sword he kept under the counter.
-swoosh-
flustered man ducked and barely dodged with a hairs length left under the blade
"WOOOHOO WAIT WAIT WAIT A MINUTE WHO YOU CALLING A VIRGIN YOU OLD MEANIE!" The young man complained fervently as he dodged slices.
"YOU DUMBASS IS THAT THE ONLY THING THAT BOTHERED YOU,JUST FUCK OFF FROM MY SHOPPP AAARRGGH"
Talen jumped up the counter and started chasing the customer. As the curses flew at him, they began a cat and mouse chase. The young man running for his life dropped his green bizarre froggy bag when running along with a few of his brain cells when he hit the "Talens Shop of Goodies."
sign depicting the man as a cute old grandpa. Well, it was really scammy, he thought to himself, with the impact his worn-out left shoes sole and many gadgets and trinkets miscellaneous stuff on his body making him look like a decoration tree had flew off to the street.
"AH FUCK FROGGY NOH AND MY LEFT SOLE RIGHTY NOOO,AAAH W-wait, wait, this is a very important request, and as a side note, I'm not a virgin really. I will get the tears from a friend of mine, AND I ALREADY GOT OUT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU STOP CHASİNG ME!!."
"OHH FUCK OF YOU DIMWIT, YOU ORDERING GOODS THAT MORE THAN FUCKING ENOUGH TO KILL THE WHOLE CITY IS WRONG WITH ME YOU FUCKING TERRORIST"
As people saw a man frantically shouting, cursing, and chasing a man, they began to gather. The bustling Old Spice Bazaar began to shake with the commotion. The old maidens from the windows gathered, smelling the rumors from their old gossip gal instincts. They hoped to catch a fish big enough to talk for months. The little poor street children were prying in the darks. Shopkeepers leaned on the doors, signaling each other. Some of the hot-blooded ones were already following them.
"Hey, what's with them?" said the Serious Woods Macforest, he was the blacksmith. He started to hurry, hoping to cut out the way of them.
"Oi, its Talen, and whos the other bastard, huawk tuah?"said the blacksmith Spittin İron mcShiny
"Oh, I love it when you spit Old Shiny Guhahahah."
"Ah, shut it, Rulman."
The chase continued as they tore through the clueless crowd of bazzar folk.
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE IT WASNT ANYTHING SINISTER IF NOT I WAS ONLY DOING THIS COUNTRY A FAVOR"
"WHAT FAVOR YOU FUCKER,YOU SOUND LIKE A TRUE TERRORIST NOW"
"AAAARGHH, IT WAS FOR THE KING YOU SHAMELES OLD FART."
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU GOING TO KILL THE KING YOU TRAITOOOOR!!!! ROT IN HELL YOU!!"
enraged by the young man's words. Talen roared, his body moving as he was in his young and fiery days he jumped like a viper striking his prey.
The sword thrust with such killing intent was the final drop to spill it. He hurriedly crushed a round pill-looking green glass that was hanging in on a thread stitched on his collar between his fingers. his throat started to vibrate and glow with a strange magic and then his voice overflowed in an instant as it crackled like thunder.
"ENOOOOOUGH"
"IT WAS FOR THE DICK OF KING DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE KINGS COCK,THE SECOND IN COMMAND IN THE COUNTRY THE LITTLE KING.FUCK!"
As the sonic boom shattered some of the nearby stalls, raised the dust, and blasted the people in his 3-meter radius, there was silence.
a complete silence
"huh"
"huh"
The unison of huhs echeod through the bazaar. The last fuck made them flinch and come back to reality. The sword of Talen stopped and flew back in mid-air. Man probably lost a few spinal disks back there, stopping the momentum, but he wasn't thinking about it at all. A voice raised in the crowd dispersed the confusion.
"HaaH? Are you out of your mind? What do the Kings of Schlong have to do with this?"
"W-what what the eww "schlong???" who in the world uses that gross?"
"Yeah, tell us about the old king of ours, the baby-maker"
"Yeah, there has to be something about the king's good ol weeine willie winkle."
"WHAT?"
"Oh no, what if our beloved king couldn't shag like he used to before?"
"Uuf, that has to be hard on that man. I heard he gets headaches when he doesn't diddle and doesn't dip the wick in the honey sink ."
"aw shucks! ,If he cant hump We cant triumph."
"Oh, now you guys are really getting over yourselves," said the once-customer-now-accused terrorist young man, but dirty jokes didn't stop at all."
"I bet one spit from our shiny could even make the dead come alive."
"BWAHAHAH HUAHAHAHAH HEHEHUHUHUHH"
All sorts of gross laughter were heard in the middle of the bazaar.
"Oh, you sick bastards, Im outta here."
"Oi, where are you going? You think you can leave as your willy wishes outta our turf, huh?" said the one of the burliest one among the crowd as he pulled a tool from his apron
"Yes, that would be good."
"Too bad, young lass, we're going to have to have some time with you,said one of the sweaty shopkeepers while he grinned like a bastard.
"You fuckers are really insufferable."
"Hah, get him, boys, now."
the empty space after the explosion, started to close on the young man he sighed and started rummaging through his pockets.
"Yes, that would be the better choice from the start, you dumb Nazar."
There wasn't much left from the collision, but these will do the job, Nazar thought to himself.
First, he pulled a gray, messy herb with bits of green on top; its leaves were conjugating in some places to resemble a toe like shape.
He infused mana into his hands and then a small sliver of ignitions started to gather at his fingertips
*WHOOSHP*
<MistlyToe> he chanted his eyes now glowed with a crimson hazy red and the veins in his head bulged
The fog rapidly exploded from the now-charred herb, instantly covering the entire bazaar and dropping visibility to zero in a moment.
"Aah, I can't see sh*t. "
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS FOUL THING"
"Like, shouldn't we understand we couldn't win when he blew away with his voice just saying?"said one of the sharper ones while remaining nonchalant
"Uugh, shut up. Smartass, you are being too reasonable; thats not befitting to a Super Sexy Shopkeepers Guild like us."
"AARGH SHUT THE CHATTERING WE MUST GET HIM BOYS NOW"
In the commotion, the young man's voice, strangely a bit lower pitched, was heard.
"UWAH IM FREE, AA I -I MEAN COME AT ME LETS FIGHT YOU SCALLYWAGS FUCKING MOUTHBREATHERS BUTTSTRATCHING SMELLY SPICY FARTS YOU CAVEMAN SPIRITED LITTLE SLUTS RAAGH LETS FUCKING GOOOO!!!"
"YES FUCK! NOW WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE SEEING YOU SWEAR LIKE A SAILOR IT MAKES ME WANT TO RECRUIT YOU TO OUR GUILD AFTER THE RITUAL OF FUN OF COURSE BAHAHHAHAH SMOOCH HIM BOYS"
"YEAH, CATCH ME IF YOU CAN."
"Uuu, what a big catch! Our studs have done it again," said one of the maidens on the window. They seemed happy while chattering there ; truly, it was enough action for a lifetime. A different voice was heard from the roof of the window.
"Yeah, what a lovely way to start the day."
"EEK? Who are you, pervert?"
"Pervert, huh, a virgin and now a pervert huh , okay, okay, it seems like I will collect some of the goods now," he said, while pulling a narrow tube from inside his coat and putting it under his eyes .
"Yeah, one done, six hundredish to go,said the man as he got up and walked out of this damned district." said the man while sniffling with a totally destroyed mentally as he staggered from the side effect of the charms
next day the newspaper would wrote such unbelievable news, the disaster of the decades, but on the third page news there was an article about new trend in spice bazaar with the title of "strawdoll love of the locals of the district, several men found out smooching a giant strawdoll,is it a new era for middle aged sweaty mans sex life?"
while for now there was a bizarre looking young man full of gadgets and trinkets and misscellaneous things...
Nazar sighed as he walked on the broken tiles of the roofs sighing with weariness of the times on his shoulder
and of course there was also a burnt strawdoll hanging from his belt waving left to right as he dissappeared from the scene