A few days went by with me doing nothing. I was craving for cigarettes so much so I asked my friend A to bring it to me and that I would pay for it. She agreed but the person who brought it to me was my ex P. He delivered me that and left. A few hours after he left, he texted me asking if I was fine. I said that I was not and I broke down again but this time he comforted me, if not physically then virtually. I fell asleep because of the pills again. My friends kept on updating me about their daily life and I was happy to listen to them. They informed me that there was a school trip coming soon and boy did I want to go with them. I started becoming happier all of a sudden. The doctors and nurses were surprised and when I told them about my plans they agreed to it. Maybe it was because they wanted to make feel happy even if it was for a moment. It was my last day at the ward and I was again fidgeting with my phone when all the patients were asked to come to a room. We followed their orders and went to that room. We were made to color and I don't know why but at that moment I really felt like a mad person.
I got released and I went to that school trip and it was fun. I was all smiles and my friends were really happy to see me too. But when it came to going back home, I didn't know how to do that. I didn't want to face my family after that incident but sadly I had to go back home so I did that by entering through my room window again. I laid on my bed for a long time and that's when K texted me. I happily texted him back and it was fun talking with him. He and I had gotten really close over the days and it was almost as if we were more of a couple than friends. I knew I was falling for him but I couldn't confess since he already had past trauma from his ex who cheated on him by sleeping with multiple men. At least that's what I heard from him.
Back at home, my family were weirdly nice to me and nobody said anything. I knew that they were feeling awkward around me or worse, cursing me from the inside. I never left my room because of the awkwardness. I would sometimes even forget to eat but it was no problem since I was sleeping most of the time. I went back to school and my friends were really happy to see me and so was I. For a few days it seemed like everything was going really nice. I was on call for hours with K all the time and we talked about almost anything. We would constantly talk and even after school I would go home with him. He took care of me and was very gentle with me. I appreciated his gentleman qualities a lot. Once when we were on call like usual he said something that upset me.
He said that the boys in our class were talking about how A and her boyfriend had sex and that her boyfriend also took condoms from one of the guys in our class. He made me promise that I wouldn't tell it to anyone. I didn't because I really didn't want to hurt her feelings but the guilt was eating me from inside. The guys in our class pretended like they didn't talk shit about her and kept on being friendly with her. I was really consumed with guilt. I knew that she deserved to know about what they said about her when she clearly didn't do anything like that.
I kept it to myself for a couple of days and after a while I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell someone and there was only one person that I could truly trust. The only person who would take a secret to her deathbed if I asked her to, D. D was my only hope so I ran towards her like a crazy person and grabbed her arm. She was like what the? Girl you sacred the shit out of me. I told her that it was an emergency and she quickly left with me. We went somewhere private and I told her everything except the part about who told me about it. I didn't want K to get involved in it. She was shocked and disgusted. I asked her what I should do and she replied saying that maybe I should keep quiet for a while but then that would mean betraying her. She agreed and we just decided that we wouldn't do anything about it until we found a good solution for it. We both agreed on it.
Meanwhile we were sorting this out, the new girl kept on annoying me. She came in my class after midterm and since day one she would annoy me. She would call D whenever I called for her. She would intentionally talk with her when I was talking with her. I thought I was being childish so I tried making amends with her. I was looking for a tissue paper that day and I asked some of my friends but they didn't had one on them until one of my friends asked the new girl who was sitting right next to me. Usually I wouldn't take anything from her but I wanted to befriend her so I agreed to take it but the girl threw it on the floor. I was really mad and I suddenly had a fit of of my angry laughter. My friends asked me to calm down which drove me even more mad. I threw her tissue back on her feet. She picked it up after a while. I still wasn't content so I went back to my seat which was at the back of the classroom. I tried calming down but it didn't work so I tried throwing a thick book at her but my friends stopped me. I pretended like I was calm but the minute they let their guards down I threw a book slightly less thick right at her head.