(all dates will be censored with ** at the ends to keep the time setting of the story vague)
It was early in the morning. Way too early for me to feel this shitty.
I didn't know what time it was. I didn't even know what date it was. I've just been driving myself into madness in my solitude, waiting for my shift to end every night and then I'd be out the door, searching for an escape from the hell I was living in.
How fucking dramatic of you, Rick.
Unfortunately, it was my day off and I had an entire day to do whatever shit I wanted to do. I went for my morning jog. Drank three cups of coffee afterwards. Watched a replay of the Giants game. Worked out at the gym for two extra hours out of boredom and bought some groceries on the way home. Hell, I even cleaned my apartment just to pass time.
By five in the afternoon, I ran out of ways to distract myself and I was back to being the miserable man that I was. All this because of a girl. One goddamn girl. What a fucking joke I've become.
I fired up my laptop, deciding to check on my emails. Emails. That's how desperate I was for a distraction.
There were a bunch of spams and a few invitations for christenings, weddings, kids' birthdays, and even house warming parties. It was like the world was trying to fuck with me, showing me everything I didn't have.
I selected all and deleted them. I didn't need more reasons to feel like shit.
And then in afterthought, I went on Google, resting my fingers on the keyboard without really pressing on the keys.
Should I?
That would be too low.
It won't hurt anyone.
It probably will hurt.
I don't give a shit.
I typed Angel Lastor on the search bar.
Seconds later, I was faced with numerous articles about her, paparrazzi and red carpet images, Youtube videos of her performances, and a Wikipedia page dedicated to her. I clicked the page, feeling like I was invading her privacy somehow as I read the article about her.
Early Life
Vivien Angel Howard-Lastor is a German-French aristocrat, heiress, classical pianist, philanthropist, and well-known socialite. She is a member of one of the wealthiest and most influential aristocratic families in the world, and has blood ties to several European Royal families. She is the daughter of multi-billionaire healthcare industry tycoon Anthony Lastor, the current President and CEO of Fortune 500 company Lastor International Corporation, and Lady Jacqueline Bernodette Bianca Labourd-Howard, a French-British aristocrat and heiress. Josef Lastor, Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine and Nobel Peace Prize winner, was her grandfather and mentor; Delilah Maxwell, botanist and author of Pulitzer Prize winning novel Child Of War, was her grandmother.
Through her paternal lineage, Lastor is a descendant of House of von Laschtorr, House of Hanover, House of Hohenzollern, House of Holstein, House of Armistead, and House of Feggur; and through her maternal lineage, House of Howard, House of Fairfax, House of Bourbon, House of Labourd, and House of Deveraux. After the abolition of the German empire and subsequent exile of the royal family in 19**, Lastor's great-grandfather, who was brother-in-law of the last ruling emperor, Timothy von Laschtorr, traveled to the United States to study medicine at Yale University and later on founded the now established conglomerate Lastor International Corporation in 19**. Angel Lastor has one sibling, an older brother and heir to the Lastor and Labourd-Howard fortunes, Jude Timothy Howard-Lastor. She was born in Munich, Germany in February 14, 19** and was raised in New York in their family home at Trinity County.
Angel is of German, French, Italian, Danish, British, and Greek ancestry. The Lastor family often traveled to Europe for the summer and the holidays. At the age of six, Lastor gained national recognition when she performed the piano live for opera singer Marilyn Horne, who sang the national anthem, during President Bush's inauguration to his first term in 19** and again in 19** for his second inauguration with Santita Jackson and the Resurrection Choir.
Education
Angel Lastor studied at the prestigious Manhattan private school Spencer Academy, where her brother is also an alumnus, through kindergarten to eighth grade where she excelled in all her classes, consistently placing at the top of her class and receiving many awards and recognition. She finished the remainder of her high school education at Institut Le Roche, a highly competitive private co-education boarding school in London. She was the president of the school's orchestra group through sophomore year and senior year, an active member of the school's theatre club and science club, and was also captain of the archery, equestrian, women's swimming team. She graduated as class valedictorian and went on to proceed her undergraduate studies at Princeton University where she recently graduated with a double degree in Economics, and Chemical and Biological Engineering, and, as in high school, was the captain of the university's equestrian team and archery team.
Angel Lastor has been taking linguistics lessons since childhood and is a known polyglot. She is rumored to be able to speak twenty languages but has so far only been recorded speaking in languages such as French, German, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, Greek, Russian, and Arabic. She has also been trained in ballet and has a black belt in Krav Maga.
Career As A Classical Musician
By the age of six, she had already mastered the piano and often performed at charity events and parties. When she was thirteen, donning a surgical mask and a pink wig to hide her identity, she began performing at Grand Central Station before expanding to historical landmarks, memorials, museums, and abandoned buildings, often churches, across Europe and United States. She is known to vandalize the locations after a performance and has been arrested several times due to trespassing and vandalism. She eventually gained a following that regarded her as a symbolic artist who opposed the money driven nature of the music industry while some considered her illegal performances as a form of anarchy and rebellion against authority and pop culture. A website was made in her honor where fans would post videos of her performances and discuss theories regarding her true identity. Her best friend, Grammy Award winning singer, songwriter, and guitarist, Andrea Allen, often joined her performances. In 20**, her identity was finally discovered after she was arrested for burning down an abandoned church after a performance.
Lastor was the subject of the documentary The Loitering Pianist, filmed by her friend and classmate Aaron Everleigh. The documentary was filmed in the span of two years, following her as she performed at random locations that showed her dedication to perfecting every piece she would perform and also gave insights to her lifestyle that led to her numerous arrests. When the documentary was released in 20**, legal representatives of the heiress filed a lawsuit against Aaron Everleigh for allegedly filming her without her consent or knowledge and distorting her image. The case was dismissed when Lastor failed to attend three court hearings.
In 20**, she performed her first official solo concert in Carnegie Hall and played a total of ten pieces. The concert was attended by an estimation of five hundred people and a full video of the concert was posted on her website, which received widespread critical acclaim. She was arrested after the concert for inciting the audience to set fires and was released when she agreed to teach inner city kids music for an entire summer, along with paying for the damages and repair to the venue. By the end of the year, her fame had become widespread and fans were eager for her to release original music. A week after releasing her debut album, she was involved in a car accident that sparked a media frenzy. A picture taken by an unknown photographer was released by New York Times, showing a severely injured and comatose Angel Lastor. Rumors of her death circulated the press and fans held vigil at Grand Central, the location of her first street performance, in her honor. Photos of her in the library at Princeton University was posted on multiple social networking sites by fellow students three months later.
Her last known performance was at a memorial event held in honor of Josef Lastor hosted by the Lastor Foundation in 20**. She has not performed or released any music since.
Personal Life
Angel Lastor is known for her privacy, never having granted any interviews or photo shoots despite numerous offers and rarely spoke in public. Although private, her lifestyle and numerous arrests still attracts a wide range of press coverage and she has been regarded as the most controversial socialite in history. This particular characteristic is often cited as the reason why many rumors had been spread about her, none of which has been confirmed, nor denied, by the heiress.
Wild Child Pack
Angel Lastor was a member of the group who had been dubbed by the media as the Wild Child Pack during her high school years. The group consisted of her classmates namely; Aaron Everleigh, Andrew Colson, Marcus Reyes, Mikhail Aslanov, Andrea Allen, Princess Soraya of Thadiya, and Lady Zoe Scott. They were often photographed attending various nightclubs and regularly hosted parties that attracted their wide following of teenagers and the press. It is during these years that Angel Lastor gained notoriety alongside her best friend, Andrea Allen. They have been called the 'Toxic Twins', 'It Girls', 'Flapper Twins', and others, by the media for the many reckless and wild exploits the two engaged in that often caused a media frenzy.
The WCP has since disbanded after graduating from high school and went on separate paths. Many other juniors from their alma mater reportedly formed groups that followed the WCP's exploits.
Legal Issues
At fourteen, Lastor was detained by patrolling officers for loitering around Central Park at 2 AM. She was charged with possession of illegal substances, possession of alcohol under the legal age, disorderly conduct, trespassing, and resisting arrest. She was sentenced to one year at Crossroads Juvenile Center but was released after serving four months.
At fifteen, she was arrested for driving without a license and was ordered to pay a $2,000 fine. On Christmas Day, she was arrested again for arson when she burned down an abandoned church after an illegal performance and was further charged with trespassing, malicious destruction of property, resisting arrest, and was given a $500,000 fine. She was sentenced to six months probation and was ordered to attend a support group for at risk youths and served 200 hours of community service.
At sixteen, she was arrested for aggravated assault after reportedly being in a fight during a support group meeting. The court ruled it was self-defense and the charges were dropped. She was arrested three months later for drug possession and driving under the influence and without a license. She was also charged with solicitation for attempting to bribe the arresting officer and was further charged with contempt after a violent outburst during her trial. The judge subsequently sentenced her to five months probation to be served concurrently with her existing probation and was ordered to attend anger management classes.
At seventeen, she was arrested three times due to reckless driving and being under the influence. An additional offense was charged against the heiress for assaulting the arresting officer (she spat on the officer and broke his nose). Her license was revoked and she was sentenced to one year house arrest for breaking the conditions of her probation and was ordered to wear an ankle monitor at all times. She was arrested again for inciting, destruction of propert, and obstructing arrest after her concert at Carnegie Hall but was released after accepting a plea. She was arrested four months later when photos of her attending a club opening spread all over the media, breaking the conditions of her house arrest. She was sentenced to two months at Phoenix Juvenile Center.
At eighteen, she was arrested for shooting paint ball guns at a parked police car along with The WCP. Three hours after being released from juvenile hall. She was held in the county jail for two hours before being released on probation due to overcrowding. She was arrested a month later when she trespassed at the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin to perform Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. A video of the performance, where she played the violin on top of a nameless stele, and the arrest was released by TMZ. Two weeks later, she was arrested among many others for trespassing, arson, and vandalism at an abandoned church. She was ordered by the court to pay a $250,000 fine for the damages and served 120 hours of community service.
At nineteen, she was arrested for public intoxication and destruction of property for vandalizing and tearing down a memorial statue of her grandfather that was erected in his hometown. She was granted pardon by the Mayor.
At twenty-one, she was arrested for destruction of public property after she was caught destroying a church. She was also charged with disturbing the peace, attempt to commit arson, and assaulting an officer with a deadly weapon. She was denied bail and spent the duration of her trial in the county jail. She refused counsel and represented herself, pleading guilty to the charges pressed against her and was sentenced to one year in Edna Mahan Correctional Facility For Women and ordered to pay a $2 million fine. She was released after serving six months and was given three years probation. The lenient sentence resulted in public outrage and petitions against the ruling judge was held. Shortly after her release, she was involved in a bar fight in Monaco that reportedly ensued when she hit a man with a bar stool. She was charged with assault and battery but the charges were later dropped. She, along with Andrea Allen, were arrested five months later for setting fire to a tree in Central Park while intoxicated. Due to conditions of her probation, she was sentenced to two years house arrest and was ordered to wear an ankle monitor at all times.
At twenty-two, she was arrested for driving under the influence, driving without a license, and attempting to bribe an officer.
At twenty-three, she, along with Andrea Allen and Chandler Wright, were found to be liable to the deaths of two people during a party in Lastor's home in Long Island where a fire broke out. All three were charged with negligent homicide, but the charges were later dropped after a settlement was agreed upon.
At twenty-four, a day before her graduation from Princeton University, Lastor was involved in a vehicular accident, but was later found not criminally liable. She was ordered by the court to attend rehab for alcohol dependency, due to her reported blood alcohol level being thrice the legal limit.
Debates regarding the double standard between the privileged white and the poor have been dominant in Lastor's cases. Most see her as a danger to the public and that she must be held accountable to her actions.
She is rumored to have ties in several organized crime syndicates and was supposedly a member of El Imperio Cartel during her teenage years, operating as a international drug trafficker. Multiple government agencies have neither confirmed nor denied rumors that they are investigating the heiress.
Stalking
Angel Lastor has expressed legal concerns of being stalked, often by obsessed admirers who would send her inappropriate gifts and letters. One known stalker was reported in February 14, 20** where a man named Stanley Novak broke into the apartment that she shared with her brother in Trenton, New Jersey. He reportedly organized a candle light dinner for her. When questioned, the man claimed he was her boyfriend but the heiress denied knowing him. When his home was searched, they found inappropriate photographs of the heiress on the walls and various articles of clothing that he was thought to have stolen from her home.
This experience provoked her to become more recluse with the public.
Public Image
Lastor has become a fixture in entertainment news due to her controversial lifestyle and repeated run ins with the law, resulting in her notoriety. Some critics felt that Lastor was not only tainting her family name but was also a bad influence to young girls. According to Entertainment Daily, "Without a doubt, Angel Lastor is not like any other celebrities who are famous for being famous. She's a talented but troubled young woman and it is absolutely horrifying how the tabloids feast on her misfortunes like a group of vultures." According to Steve Hammond, editor-in-chief of Lux Magazine, "The Angel Lastor effect is simple but not many can pull it off. By avoiding the media, she is attracting them. By refusing to talk, the simplest sound she makes is heard. By hiding from the spotlight, she gains more eyes on her. The intrigue and enigma that surrounds Angel Lastor is what gets people following her around."
Philanthropy
Along with her family, Lastor supports many charity programs and is a spokesperson and ambassador of the Lastor Foundation along with her brother. She has an estimated net worth of $8.5 billion dollars and owns several lucrative real estate properties in United States, Asia, and Europe. A few of her notable properties include the historic Lastor Manor in Manchester, Vermont, East Wind Palace in London, and Manoir de Lys in Paris. She has been regarded as one of the youngest billionaires in the world and the most eligible bachelorette in the country. She is currently rumored to be in a relationship with Swedish mining heir Andre Gustav.
"Well, fuck," I muttered after reading the elaborate summary of her very colorful life.
I didn't know what I expected. But I sure as hell didn't expect that.
I decided if my head was going to do its own rewind of the things I've read about her, I might as well have some beer on the side to go along with it.
I found myself driving to Mikey's. I probably looked like a corpse because the bouncer gave me a wide eyed look as he appraised me from his seat by the door.
"Jesus, Doc. You look like shit," he practically exclaimed.
"Thanks," I muttered as I entered the bar.
I ignored the looks that came my way when I walked in. I probably should have made an effort to be even a bit presentable for human interaction but I just needed a drink.
I spotted Michael manning the bar and I held up a finger as I approached him. He had a bottle of their famous beer on the counter before I even sat on the stool. I immediately took a swig from it, ignoring him as he watched me.
"Can't say I didn't warn you," he muttered, shrugging.
I bit back the distasteful remark that hung by the tip of my tongue. He's appointed himself as my confidante for the past two weeks. I didn't necessarily confide in him, nor did I indulge him with any information about my current state of misery. I didn't have to though, he already knew why.
Angel Lastor.
I groaned and took another swig.
"Want me to fix you up with a burger or somethin'? You look like you need it," he offered, as if a plate of burger could make all this shit go away.
I shrugged. "Sure. Why not?"
He called out to Mindy for a burger and asked me if I wanted pickles in it. I shook my head at that.
Minutes later, I had a plate of burger slid by me. It didn't summon my appetite that's been missing for the past two weeks. All I've been able to stomach were a few bites from shitty pizza and energy bars.
I ate it anyways. It wouldn't be too long till my body would shut down due to famine.
"So, getting drunk on a wonderful Sunday evening and looking like you've been dragged to hell and back. I take it she hasn't put you out of your misery then," Michael said, probably mistaking my permanent scowl as an invitation for a conversation.
I took a large bite from my burger as an excuse to not honor him with a response.
"You know what you need?" He tilted his head, eyeing me in amusement. "You need a good old fashion bar fight."
My brows creased. "What?"
He shrugged. "Let off some steam by kicking someone's ass. Works like a charm. Just ask Red."
I scoffed, shaking my head and downing my beer. "I'd rather not engage in something so juvenile."
He cracked up. "Loosen up a little. Who knows, maybe that's why Red got bored of you. You're so fuckin' square!"
"Excuse me?"
He shrugged, folding his arms as he stood arrogantly on the other side of the bar.
"I mean, the whole knight in shining armor shit probably works for other chicks but Red?" He snorted. "She's fuckin' wild. Likes adrenaline. Does shit for the heck of it and gets a kick out of breaking the rules."
Don't I know it.
"When I was still fucking her, we would do it all over the place. At the park. In the pool. On a rooftop. In the car. She likes fucking in public, gives her a rush. We even fucked here." He tapped a finger on the bar. "And don't get me started on how fucking hot she is when she cums. Fucking gorgeous, right? Right?"
He grinned, sending me a wink. I wanted to gouge his eyes out.
"Damn, she's the best fuck I've ever had. Every shit in the book goes. Have you met Andy? That chick is a man eater!" he hollered. "Have you fucked them at the same time? Damn, put those two in bed together and you've got yourself every man's wet dream! I barely lasted five minutes watching Red eat Andy's pussy while I was fucking her ass. Have you fucked Red in the ass?"
That was it. I already had enough shit in my head. Now this?
I leaped over the bar and tackled him to the ground, my fist connecting with his grinning face. I was shaking, uncontrollable rage ripping right through me and unleashing at every blow I landed on him.
"Is that all you've got? Red hits harder than that when she's riding my cock!"
A raw animalistic growl went through my gritted teeth and I yanked him up, throwing him against the bar before delivering a series of hits and kicks on him. He kept throwing taunts at me, telling me how fucking amazing Red's pussy was with his dick inside her, saying how hard he came every time she yelled out his name while he fucked her till he had his fill, claims to jack off while thinking of her still.
I just wanted to break his skull open at every word he uttered that made my blood boil.
I was breaking his face and spitting curses at him when I realized what he was doing and I stopped, letting go of him and looking down at his bloodied state.
My chest heaved at every harsh breath I took and I slowly got to my feet, looking around and seeing the audience watching the show. I looked down at Michael, seeing him grinning while laughing as he sat up. As if he enjoyed getting his face punched in.
"You're insane," I muttered in disbelief.
"Says the guy beating me senseless three seconds ago."
"Jesus. Your face..." I grimaced. "Dammit, Michael. What the hell?"
He snorted, spitting out blood on the floor, accompanied by a tooth.
"You owe me a trip to the dentist," he noted, picking up the tooth. "I think you broke my nose too... and cheeks... and-" He patted his sides and winced. "-definitely a rib."
I shook my head in disbelief. "You're insane."
"You said that already." He grinned, his teeth red with blood while his lips were split open.
"God, let's just go," I said, reaching down to help him off the floor.
"Hey, man, if you're gonna take me home, at least buy me dinner," he quipped.
"Shut up. We're going to the hospital."
I ignored the horrified looks that were sent our way and just high tailed my way out of the bar. Leo aka Alex, was just getting in and stared dumbfounded at us.
"What the hell happened?!" he exclaimed.
Michael snorted. "Angel Lastor happened."
Alex's eyes snapped over to me. "You're an idiot." He raked his gaze over Michael. "Looking at you, you asked for it."
"He needed it," Michael quipped, jutting his thumb at me.
Alex shook his head, looking at me again. "You're officially banned from entering the bar. And you-" He turned to Michael. "You're fired."
"On whose authority?" Michael challenged.
"My fucking authority," Alex spat back. "You want your job back? Ask Angel. Until then, you're fired." He turned back to me, glaring. "Get lost before I call her and tell her what stupid shit you've been up to. And trust me, she won't like what I'm gonna say."
"Who the fuck are you to-"
"You've been getting pissed drunk every night here. You think she'll like it if she finds out you turned into an alcoholic because of her?" He scoffed, spitting on the ground. "That kid hates herself enough as it is. Don't give her a reason to hate herself even more just because you don't know how to deal with rejection. Fuck off. If I see you around here again, I'll kick your ass myself."
He brushed past us and entered the bar, muttering curses along the way. Michael looked like he was about to run after the guy and I held him back.
"Sorry, man," I said.
He scoffed. "Don't sweat it. That motherfucker just gets on my goddamn nerves. He's been acting like a God ever since he got here. Can't believe Red brought him in."
I sighed. "Let's just get you checked out. You probably have a concussion."
We went to the hospital and I purposely brought him to a different hospital instead of Lastor Medical Center. I did not want to be seen as some sort of violent psychopath for bringing Michael in, looking like he had just been brutally beaten. Which he had. Afterwards, I drove him back to his house and I declined his invitation to grab a drink with him and just went home.
That Alex guy, or whatever his name is, was right. I've been getting drunk every night in my misguided attempt at coping with the fact that she rejected me. I was acting like a pubescent boy. No, I was acting like a little bitch who couldn't function just because a pretty girl didn't like him back. How pathetic.
I didn't want to be this kind of person and I didn't understand why I was being one. Sure, being rejected by the girl I've been unconsciously pining after for the past six years sucked but such is life. I couldn't dwell on my misfortunes and neglect the opportunities I had.
I needed to refocus and remember the plans I had made before she came into my life and threw everything into chaos. I had worked so hard and I couldn't let my infatuation over her take that away. At least now that there could never be any future for us, I could stop this pointless redemption scheme I've been forcing on her. She didn't want to be saved and she was entitled to that choice, no matter how stupid it was.
Pushing her out of my mind, I ordered a pizza before getting in the shower to wash off the blood from my hands. As I was drying up, there was a buzz outside my door and I hurried out of the bathroom, taking a fifty dollar bill from my wallet along the way.
Much to my dismay, it wasn't Toby, the delivery guy at my regular pizza place, who stood on my door step.
"Jude," I said grimly.
"Hello, Thirdy," he greeted curtly.
I laughed at the irony. Just when I've decided to move on with my life, a Lastor appears just to fuck with me.
"If this is about Angel, you don't have to worry. She ended things and I'm respecting it. I'll stay away from her."
"This is about her," he said. "She's getting out of control."
I rolled my eyes. When was she ever not out of control? Control was practically non-existent in her life.
"Not my problem. Like I said, I'm staying away," I said before shutting the door but he pushed it back open. I sighed irritably. "Look, man, I'm sorry, but I don't want to get involved in whatever mess she's in this time and I'm pretty sure she doesn't want me to be. So, if you'll excuse me…"
I tried to close the door again but he kept a firm hand on it.
"She keeps screaming your name in her sleep," he said the last thing I wanted to hear right now. "She calls out for you every fucking night, Rick. Whenever she screams for help, she says your name. She doesn't call out for me or anyone else. Just you."
My hands curled into fists, trying not to imagine her screaming and begging for the help that won't come.
"She doesn't need me. What she needs is professional help," I forced myself to say.
"Then convince her," he pressed, trying to push his way in.
I stood my ground, refusing to let her pull me back in only for her to push me away again. I was tired of it. She ruined my life enough already by merely existing in it.
"Do this for me, at least," he tried.
I scoffed. "Why should I? You didn't even want me near her in the first place, so why are you trying to force me back into this when I want nothing to do with her anymore?"
"Let's not go there right now, Rick."
"No, let's go there. Right now."
I pushed the door wide open and folded my arms across my chest.
"You say one thing and she says another. It's all bullshit. What are you hiding from the world, Lastor?"
This has been messing with my head more than Angel herself. There was so much hidden between the lines and for the first time, I genuinely regretted ever meeting them.
"If she didn't tell you, then I won't. I don't want to interfere with whatever you have with my sister anymore. Not if it means putting Stella on the line. I know my sister, Rick. She doesn't bluff."
I acutely remembered the very elaborate and real threat Angel made against Stella. It scared the shit out of me even though she did it on my behalf.
"I'm sorry if my actions is the reason why this is happening," he said, running his fingers through his hair in a frantic gesutre. "I only did what I thought was necessary. My only mistake was I asked too much from her."
My brows creased in confusion. He was speaking in riddles. The way she always did.
"What are you not telling me?"
He swallowed hard and averted his eyes. It was uncharacteristic of him. Jude was a confident person, often times border lining on arrogance.
"I told her she can't see you anymore."
I wanted to hit him. I nearly did if it weren't for the thought that he was my friend, even though he hasn't acted like one for a while now.
"Why? Why are you so against my relationship with her?" I demanded.
"Because she needs to be protected," was his response, sounding as if he was merely stating the obvious.
"What? You think I'm going to hurt her? That I'm using her or something?" I scoffed. "For crissake, Jude! You've known me for what? Ten years now? You of all people should know whatt I-"
"Not from you, Rick," he cut in. "I'm protecting her mostly from herself. She doesn't know what she's doing."
"Oh, so now you're calling her stupid!" I laughed mockingly.
"She's smarter than both of us, Frederick," he bit out sharply. "She was in Vegas last night and I had a highly trained mercenary and field agent follow her. His best skill is infiltration and espionage. Long story short, he's the best of the best. You know what my sister did to him?" He stepped closer to me, leering. "It didn't even take her a goddamn minute to break him. She knew he's been following him. I don't know how, she just did. And trust me, I only hire the best. But she broke him. She blindsided him without even trying. Got him putty in her hands and bleeding to death with one hit. She even got his head spinning with a few words. So don't mock her. My sister has more merit than she leads people to believe. But underneath all that, she's as innocent as a new born baby."
He shoved me to the side and marched inside while I remained standing by the door, his words slowly registering in my mind.
"Did she kill him?" I dared to ask.
"No. Angel is capable of many things but never murder," he answered. "She's too smart to do something so sloppy, but I'm going after her before things get out of hand."
I frowned. "That's a great idea. Piss her off and provoke her into doing something stupid just to spite you."
"I don't have a choice. Mexico is a bad place for her. She always ends up losing herself when she's there."
My brows furrowed. "I though you said she was in Vegas?"
"She got bored," he muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. "I need to know what you did to her, Rick."
"I didn't do anything!"
"I've never seen her like this and I've seen the worst. What happened the last time you were with her? Did you say or do anything to set her off?"
For a moment, I pondered on that. It didn't take too much thinking. After two weeks of being misery, hating her, and not knowing what I did wrong, I figured it out.
"I told her I was falling in love with her," I said with a grimace.
It was a desperate moment. Pathetic, to say the least. It was an in the moment thing and I've spent the past two weeks regretting it while simultaneously wondering if I even meant it or just said it.
She served me with a very harsh Angel Lastor special rejection as a consequence.
"What?" Jude said, his stance faltering.
"That's the last thing I said to her before she ran out on me." I sighed, slamming the door shut. I was tempted to kick it till it broke. "That proves to have been one big mistake."
"You! You can't just say things like that and expect her not to be scared, Rick!"
"I know."
At least, now I did. I just wish I knew it before I blurted it out.
I chuckled humorlessly as I leaned against the door. He sighed, turning on his heel. Pacing. Back and forth. Driving me insane at each step he took.
He stopped thirty two steps later. I knew. I counted each one. And then he dropped himself on the couch.
"We grew up in an empty home," he suddenly said, his eyes on the floor. "No love. No care. No fucking mercy." He dragged a palm down his face. "At least Angel was."
I straightened, eyeing him intently but he only stared at the floor.
"We were raised on the lap of luxury and lived in a palace but despite all the things we had, we were deprived of the one thing a child truly needs. A family. Our parents were only there for show, out of responsibility. We saw the maids more than we saw them. We weren't a family, we were a business. And like a business, we were built to perfection. We were taught everything that we needed to know about the company we would one day rule. Told to speak only when spoken to. To smile when we're told to smile. To turn off our emotions and just do our duty to the family. We've only followed orders all our lives. Why do you think I've had to order her to live for me? It's because she doesn't fucking know how to live for herself."
He scoffed, leaning back against the couch, clutching his head with one hand while my mind conjured up an image of two children. A boy and a girl. Forced into living a life they didn't want but was the only thing they knew. They never had a chance at a normal life.
"Don't get me started with the overwhelming amount of pressure they put on us." He laughed humorlessly. "Every day we were expected to be perfect. Mistakes and flaws were not tolerated and were considered disgraces. We did everything that was asked of us. Followed the path that was made for us. Believed the philosophy that they drilled into our skull. Acted and dressed the way we were supposed to. We couldn't disappoint them so we bore it all. We never complained and we never asked for more, or less. But there came a day that Angel just snapped. She couldn't take it anymore."
I walked towards him, sitting on the ottoman across from him. He didn't seem to notice me.
"She was so perfect. She did everything right. Better than I ever did. She played music better. Spoke the languages more fluently. Got higher grades. Received more awards. She even smiled better than I did." He forced another laugh. "But that meant nothing to her. She didn't do all those things out of duty like I did. She did them to gain their attention. To be loved. But they were never there. They were too busy with their own lives. They never saw her. Just me. I was the only one they ever looked at. Because I was the heir and she was the spare," he spat the last word like a curse. "She was given everything a child could ask for but she didn't want any of it. All she wanted was the love that they could never give and it didn't take long for her to believe that she wasn't worthy to be loved."
He lifted his head, his eyes settling on me but he seemed to see through the back of my head.
"The only thing I excelled at where Angel failed was turning her emotions. She can't do it. She pretends she can't feel anything but in reality, she just keeps it all inside. Imagine keeping years of self-loathing to yourself, Rick. Imagine what that's like. To live with the genuine belief that you're nothing. That no matter what you do, you're never good enough to love. Someone out there is always better. It will haunt you day and night."
There was an eerie silence when neither of us said a word and just let everything he said linger in the air. Pieces began to fall into place. Everything that she ever said, everything that she ever did. All the things that I thought were pure nonsense and just her thing. Just a thing that she does. An Angel thing. It all made sense now. But for some reason, this bit of information only made Angel Lastor even darker than having a light brought to brighten her, to make her clearer to see. It felt like there was more. That I was missing something here.
How could they deprive something as simple as attention? Love? Why would they do that? Who would do that to their own child?
"Do you love her, Frederick?" Jude's question brought me out of my thoughts.
I looked at him, wondering right then if I did.
I refuse to love her just because she so clearly needed to be loved. I won't to do that to her. She deserved better than that. She deserved the kind of love that she was willing to give, limitless and unconditional.
"I'm getting there," I admitted.
I was close. It was just the fear that was holding me back from going all the way. I feared loving her meant giving up the life I had before I met her and letting her fully consume me. I feared if I let myself love her, I won't be able stop. I feared it so much because I knew, it was going to happen.
Loving her, as what I've come to accept, ruins you.