Despite the intensity of her gaze as well as her no nonsense tone that would have thrown him for a loop in most situations Stanley was unfazed by it. He was so unfazed that he actually took the time hum and look away as if considering her request.
"Hmm, let me think about tha-NO" he very deliberately cut himself off and scowled at her.
"Why not?"
"I think the better question is why do you need my help? Not like you needed it last time."
At this Ezraphel expression pinched "it would seem that my taste in decorations were a bit too…eclectic for local tastes."
Stanley's scowl gained a hint of confusion and curiosity "I didn't hear anyone complaining."
Stanley didn't pay much attention to neighborhood gossip but Ezraphel doing something that would be put under public scrutiny is one of the few times where he actively tried to get a read on public sentiment. You'd think he'd be bad at it but Incubus charisma mixed with the observational skills of a loner is a hell of a thing. As far as he knew no one had anything disparaging to say about her choice in Halloween décor.
If anything they were curious about where she even got them…from…
"Oh" his eyes widened "how bad was it?"
At his question Ezraphel leaned away to stand up while adding "they asked a lot of questions about where I bought the decorations, what brands they were and how I managed to put them up in some cases."
Stanley cursed that was an oversight but in his defense a lot of Ezraphel decoration ideas for Halloween came from a similar festival on Eos. There were a lot of outlandish imagery in those decorations that he had to wade through and Ezraphel was hell bent on putting up some of those. He only really chose the least outlandish of the bunch and had her redo the lewd imagery into something more age appropriate.
He didn't do anything about the designs itself because he didn't think anyone would care enough to scrutinize the damn things. He certainly didn't think too much of them beyond being a passing fancy let alone the logistics behind where they came from and how they were placed. It only now occurred to him that he was the last person who should be making decisions on design.
"Okay" he calmed himself down "what did you tell them?"
"I told them that I designed the decorations myself."
Stanley opened his mouth on reflex but words failed him because the excuse she used didn't have any far reaching consequences or he would have heard something. So either it worked out or she used magic to obfuscate things something he had mixed feelings about in this scenario. On the one hand he didn't like her messing with people's heads but on the other hand he didn't really like those nosey stuck up bitches.
"Is that a good thing or nah?"
Ezraphel shrugged "I didn't use my magic to fool them."
"Cool" he replied indifferently.
"But now I have somewhat of a reputation for being a design hobbyist."
"Okay?" he said now a bit unsure.
"It works out because I am an actual hobbyist!"
"…so basically you have everything under control."
"Yep."
"Then why do you need me to go shopping with you for Christmas decorations?"
"And a tree" she reminded.
Stanley did not deign that with a retort merely folding his arms with a furrowed brow.
"Well some of their questions were very pointed on where I got the materials for the decorations."
"Ah, so you figure buying actual decorations would give you plausible deniability?"
"Yes."
"And you need to be seen buying them because they have eyes on our house."
That gave Ezraphel pause as she turned her head a bit while maintaining eye contact "yes? Do you believe they are spying on us?"
"I believe they are nosy busybodies whose have an almost insatiable need to stick their nose in people's businass."
Ezraphel had a look of consideration as she mulled over his words "I see."
Stanley couldn't help but pinch the bridge of his nose "uuuggh this is some bullshiiiit" he groaned out slowly.
"It's not so bad. All we need to do is go buy some decorations and a tree."
Stanley maintained his position for a long moment not even deigning to look at her. The way how she said it did make it seem simple but as a wise man once narrated "whenever someone says 'all you have to do is…' the next thing they say is always something impossible."
In Ezraphel's case…
"You want us to buy Christmas decorations that would help you compete with the desperate housewives?"
"…desperate housewives?"
"Do you have any idea how much money that shit's going to cost?" he asked ignoring her words.
Because he's actually seen the shit they use for decorations on any given holiday or event and it's ridiculous.
'Now that I'm thinking about it, the stuff Ezraphel used also looked like some needlessly expensive shit I would never consider spending for something like a fucking decoration.'
He'll need to watch out for that in the future. Whatever Ezraphel puts out into the world via magic for everyone to see has to reflect their budget. Stanley saved up a lot incidentally due to his mostly frugal lifestyle choices to the point where his current life was basically akin to retirement. Most of his current revenue stems from passive income earned through several ventures he set up years ago that have only recently started paying off.
Making YouTube videos and doing the occasional live stream are more hobbies nowadays and the last thing he wanted was to end up in a place financially where he has to put serious consideration into those things as a career choice. He's seen where that usually ends up and he was not a fan. He's done the work, made his mark and achieved legendary status in the online community he did not need to make moves to compete with the next generation.
The thought of doing that was horrifying and the fact that he's talking about this as if he's one of those older celebrities instead of a guy in his mid twenties should really tell you how things are in the online space nowadays.
"Stanley!"
The man startled out of his thoughts looking to the Lilim surprised "what?"
Ezraphel looked concerned as she regarded him "are you alright?"
Blinking Stanley shook his head "yeah I'm…fine…"
She didn't believe him but knew this was one of those times where pressing wouldn't get her anywhere so she reached out and grasped his hand. The contact did grant him some relief though he shifted nonetheless as it basically exposed his mortification towards his previous thoughts.
Using her thumb to rub the knuckles of his fingers Ezraphel spoke in a soothing tone "about the shopping trip, we won't be getting anything expensive just the basic Christmas decoration necessities."
"Won't work, they have the department store on lock."
At this she grinned "that would be the case if we were going their."
"So what you want to go into the city?"
He was not very enthused by that idea and sensing this Ezraphel continued "no, I've already thought of what we're getting and where we're getting it and I even made sure to calculate the costs."
With a snap of her fingers her laptop appeared and Stanley was greeted to several open tabs displaying an Amazon shopping cart filled with various Christmas decorations.
"Whoa…"
To say Stanley was surprised would be an understatement. Ezraphel didn't use online services often, at least not of her own volition and certainly not without supervision. So to see her have this set up in such a way was very unexpected but he didn't let his surprise prevent him from perusing the products she wanted to get just in case.
In the end he could he could only admit out loud "this isn't bad actually."
There were lights, ornaments, porch signs, garlands, window clings and so on. The cost of everything when factoring the holiday discounts came well within the realms of what he'd allow Ezraphel to get away with.
For her part Ezraphel scoffed even as she preened "your lack of confidence in me is noted Stanley."
"Oh don't even start" he glared before looking back at the laptop "much as I'm impressed with what you got here I don't think you're going to win the competition with this."
The Lilim blinked "I didn't think you would care if I won or not."
Stanley opened his mouth to deny it but paused "do you get something if you win or is it just bragging rights?"
"I don't believe it is an official competition."
Stanley hummed to himself as he considered things before looking at her "personally I don't care but this isn't about me. What do you want Ez."
"I want to crush them~"
Whoa!
Stanley leaned back a bit as he felt her mana spike with the last two words as if to emphasize them in a rather threatening way.
"Hm-Hm" Stanley nodded twice before audibly smacking his lips once and asking the most pertinent question of "why?"
"They made passive aggressive disparaging remarks about you as well as implied that I am a loose woman stringing you along for your wealth."
'Oh shit they called her gold digger' thought Stanley.
"I am not surprised by that."
Stanley has history with the women of the desperate housewives club. See the neighborhood among other things is primarily composed of middle class residents. Married couples most of who are in their mid to late forties and have at least one kid to their name. Stanley is the youngest home owner on the block and by all accounts is the first example of a self made millennial who acquired his wealth primarily through online means they've ever seen.
Combine this fact with his prickly personality and nature as a shut in and it wouldn't surprise you to know that he didn't make a great impression with his neighbors. At best they think he's a trust fund kid or someone who inherited wealth from a dead relative and at worst they think he's some kind of criminal or affiliated with them. In either case he's just some rich shady kid bumming around the neighborhood.
He can thank the DHC for spreading those rumors which he learned about from their private chat messages. How he managed to gain access to their private messages is actually a funny story but becomes no so funny when you realize a bunch of privileged middle age bitches have been slandering him behind his back and all for the simple act of keeping to himself and not engaging in any of their bullshit.
So no, he wasn't surprised that they were talking shit to Ezraphel behind his back.
"I'm surprised you're still willing to be friends with them."
At this Ezraphel sighed "while I am loathed to associate with anyone who badmouths you I figured that much of their misgivings stem from ignorance."
Then she gave him a pointed look…that had absolutely no effect on him because yeah he didn't associate with them so they didn't know anything about him which meant that everything they knew about him came from their own imagination.
He sees what she's doing though. She wants to elevate his reputation in their eyes and to that he could only shake his head.
"It's not worth it."
"You will always be worth it Stanley" she said seriously while leaning her face forward a bit his personal space.
"O-oh."
*Ba-dump*
[Did our heart just skip a beat?]
{That is precious}
'Shut. The Fuck. Up.'
Swallowing a little Stanley clarified "I meant with them. They're not worth it."
"Oh I wouldn't say that. I actually find them to be quite wise and insightful."
"Bullshit" he retorted immediately.
"They may not be agreeable but they are still women who have been married with children for many years."
Well that makes more sense.
'Wait a minute.'
"You're taking advice from them!?"
"Of course."
He did not like the sound of that.
"What did they say?"
"I refuse to answer that" and as his scowl deepened she continued "now don't you start Stanley. I'm free to choose whoever I make friendships with" then she paused and her expression softened "but if it's any consolation they no longer hold any negative opinions about you."
"I don't care what they think" was what he almost blurted out reflexively but held back and instead nodded.
"Fine."
"So about those decorations…"
"Yeah, yeah I'm paying for them now."
"Are they going to be delivered today?"
"Yeah, it's same-day delivery."
Once he was done he found himself enveloped in the warm softness that was Ezraphel's cleavage "thank you Stanley" she chirped kissing him on the cheek.
"Yeah-yeah" he grumbled weakly but secretly enjoying the close contact.
"How long do we have until it's delivered?"
"Probably until the evening."
"Then we have time to go out looking for a tree."
Stanley blinked "uh, what?"
"A tree Stanley" Ezraphel repeated.
"Didn't we order one?" he took up the laptop scanning through the stuff Ezraphel put on the cart only to realize that the Christmas tree was missing.
Suddenly the laptop lowered to reveal Ezraphel stern half lidded gaze "I meant a real tree Stanley."
"A real tree."
"Yes, a real Christmas tree."
"Where the hell are we supposed to find that?"
At this the Lilim grinned "no worries, I've taken the liberty of finding a place."
Then she closed the Amazon window to reveal the website of a lace called Nick's Tree Farm. As the name suggests, it's a place that farms trees and scrolling through their website he saw that they sold 'actual' Christmas trees.
"…huh"
Once again Stanley found himself a little lost for words as he looked between the website and Ezraphel whose expression of smug anticipation just screamed "praise me!"
"Looks like you have things all figured out. Um g-good job" he reached out and patted her head almost like one would a pet, a comparison that wasn't lost on him as he saw her tail start wagging when he started to petting her head.
Even he was a bit weirded out by this.
Still credit to where credit is due she did do good work in sourcing the decorations and finding a tree. But as much as he would love to maintain this good atmosphere as a natural pessimist he couldn't help but some issues. He went to speak about said issues only to make the mistake of meeting her eyes. This forced him to clam up, take a step back and ponder his misgivings.
He's always lived by the rule that when something seems too good to be true it usually meant that it is. Yet the complaints that he was prepared to hit her with seemed so…superfluous in hindsight.
Why get a real tree instead of a fake one?
Ezraphel already expressed her discomfort for life-like constructs of natural things. Due to her extrasensory abilities able to pick up life signs she found things like for example fake plants to be uncanny to her sensibilities and just in general. A close comparison would be like looking at one of those androids trying to copy human features but not quite getting it right resulting in the uncanny valley phenomenon.
What about the price of the tree?
The tree might be more expensive but he can definitely afford it as a onetime purchase.
What about maintaining and storing the tree after Christmas?
Ezraphel has fucking magic and their house is literally filled with pocket dimensions that can be customized in any way she wants.
As for the Christmas decorations he already had reasons for allowing that which wraps back around to why he wasn't pushing back against this as much as he could. This was Ezraphel's first Christmas and he actually wanted her to enjoy herself as much as she could. Hell just for this month he might even let her actually indulge herself…not that he would even hint at something like that lest she overindulge herself.
Also fuck it, he wanted her to win that damn competition too so with that in mind…
"I guess I've got nothing to complain about, let's do this."
Ezraphel gasped "really?"
"Yeah" he answered rolling his eyes.
"Really, really?"
Now his brow furrowed "yes."
"Really, really, really?"
Hopping out of his chair he put down the laptop "get your phat ass in the car Ez."
"Kay" she grinned and teleported away and he found the laptop missing as well.
Once again rolling his eyes he set his computer to sleep and turned off the A/C but before leaving he suddenly had a thought.
'I feel like I'm forgetting something.'
…well if he couldn't remember then it wasn't that important to begin with.
Later…
'Or it would be super fucking important and not remembering would bite me in the ass.'
Stanley had his head on the steering wheel in abject despair while Ezraphel rubbed his back in circles.
"There, there" she murmured soothingly.
Unfortunately for Ezraphel her words did not help with the situation they now found themselves in as all around them were dozens of other vehicles in a long line that stretched across the highway for at least a mile.
"Fuck you Google Maps."