It has been several days now since he and Ezraphel had gone shopping. They were now firmly in the second week of December and things have gotten very festive. The decorations had arrived and as he predicted Ezraphel went absolutely HAM with them. The house was now covered in generic and exotic decorations with centerpiece for the interior being the Christmas tree now decked out to the nines and somehow looking even larger than it was when they got it.
Fortunately for Stanley Ezraphel didn't end up asking him for help seeming content with doing all the heavy lifting. It had less to do with consideration for him as it was Ezraphel being a perfectionist and not wanting his dumb ass screwing up her artistic vision. This wasn't conjecture on his part either she basically said as much when he asked why she didn't go through with asking him to help out. It was actually kind of insulting but Stanley couldn't find it in himself to be offended.
He cared more about how she used a small army of Golems dressed as generic laborers to help with the exterior decorations. It was risky as all hell in his opinion but apparently things like this were par for the course among the DHC so no one really looked twice at a woman directing a bunch of laborers. No they were more interested in the decorations themselves which was admittedly very impressive.
Ezraphel said the DHC thought as such as well however the 'competition' wasn't over yet. Apparently it won't be over until the 25th so there was room to make additional changes. The fact that this competition seemed to light a fire under Ezraphel was mildly concerning but he'll choose to trust that she wouldn't go overboard. Then he remembered who he was talking to and stipulated that any changes needed to go through him first and he wouldn't make the same mistake he did with the Halloween decorations.
But enough about all that, today Stanley had a different quandary to deal with.
Seated in his office Stanley's eyes were glued to multiple monitors. In one of the rare instances he did not have a videogame, YouTube, Twitch or any social media site open. Instead there were multiple tabs of Amazon webpages as well as multiple windows open and all of them were things outside the purview of his interest. To put it bluntly Stanley was locked in trying to find a suitable Christmas gift for Ezraphel.
Things were going about as well as one would expect…
"Ugh" he groaned taking his gaze of the screen for the first time in hours to wipe his eyes "I fucking hate this."
As in it wasn't going really well at all.
Stanley was never good with getting other people gifts. Sentiment was nice and while everyone will always say that the gift doesn't really matter so long as the thought behind it was good he's calling bullshit on that one. If someone's getting him a gift then he'd prefer it to be something he could use in a practical sense or have personal value to him beyond that. Luckily for him he's a simple man with simple pleasures that are easily identified for people who actually know him.
The problem came with applying this methodology to others. The only person he's ever given an actual gift to in recent memory was his sister and it always boils down to either giving her to the means to buy what she wanted via money or just straight up asked her what she wanted and get it for her through a delivery. He could give the excuse that its better this way because not only was it more efficient but leave less room for error but in moments of self reflection he recognized for what it really was, laziness on his part.
At least he can take solace in the fact that his laziness comes from a place of love. He didn't want to half his gift by getting something generic nor did he want to risk his sister not liking said gift being fully aware that he wouldn't even know where to begin with getting something he felt she deserves. Cutting out the uncertainty by getting her exactly what she wants
The temptation to do this with Ezraphel was strong but he held himself back both for the reason one would think. Yeah he could ask what she wanted and get it for her but that wouldn't just defeat the purpose and yes even the sentiment of the whole thing. And yes he can say sentiment was a large part of why he didn't do it because he knew it would mean that much more to Ez. This was supposed to be his gift to her and he wasn't about to copout by simply asking what she wanted. Tedious as it's turning out to be Stanley wanted to be the one to think up a gift and give it to her.
There's also another more practical reason that was he didn't think Ezraphel had a wide enough scope of reference to get the most out what he's offering. Knowing her she would ask of him something…predictable or even simple. Sure it would be what she wanted but that wouldn't be satisfying to him. He wanted her first Christmas gift to be special, something that would not only be memorable but also practical that she would actually use.
It's no wonder then that he was having such difficulties figuring out what he wanted to give her. It didn't help that Stanley's inclination towards being stubbornly economic was very much rearing its ugly head here especially after the expenses incurred with the decorations and tree. At least it wasn't all encompassing like once upon a time, he still didn't like spending a whole lot in one sitting unless it was worth the cost and
'Ezraphel will always be worth the cost' he reminded himself.
If he wanted to get a proper gift he couldn't go the cheap route. Not only would it be indicative of how little he cared about her but it was a restriction on his options for gifts. He was having trouble finding something already no need to artificially increase the difficulty. To make matters worse he's pretty sure that Ezraphel wouldn't care so much about the gift as she would care about the thought behind it. And since Ezraphel was going to adore it no matter it needed to meet a set of prerequisites to satisfy his specific standards as it will set the tone for any gift giving going forward.
So what were said prerequisites?
First of all, it had to be at a decent price range because while he wasn't going cheap and Ezraphel was worth any cost the product needed to reflect the cost of quality. He wasn't out here trying to get scammed after all.
Second, it had to be something that she can use as opposed to stashing somewhere never to be seen or putting it up on display. Stanley would say that this criterion came about as a means to vindicate both the time it took to find the gift as well as its cost. In truth he just wanted validation that his gift was good enough to be of legitimate practical use to her.
The third and final criterion was that the gift cannot be something she can recreate with magic.
That last one wasn't as hard a hurdle to overcome as it would seem as while she can use magic for damn near everything nowadays there was a weakness when it came to creating objects through magic. Said weakness being that the more complex the object the more mana was required to maintain it and modern technology were among the most complex things she's ever seen. She even confessed that recreating and maintaining the widescreen TV in their bedroom was a daunting undertaking even though she already had the 'blueprint' for it.
Ezraphel downplay it but he has noticed that she never tried to recreate a piece of technology of such sophistication again. The closest she ever came to doing it were some of the very fancy kitchen appliances that he would have refused to spend money on if she asked but she didn't and now those things half ran on magical bullshit.
Luckily for him Ezraphel didn't really care much for technology. Sure she was mystified by them originally but she's more or less gotten used to it. At this point she has the same regard for technology as the average human on earth thinking of it as tools of convenience. Her reluctance towards creating advance technology gave him ideas and in fact he did manage to narrow things down to what he considers to be the ideal gift for her. Problem is that he was really reluctant about it and for good reason after all one does not simply gift Ezraphel a cellphone and expect things to be alright.
He's actually been meaning to give Ezraphel a cellphone for a while now if only because it was such a staple of modern culture that the idea of a grown adult not having one seemed utterly ridiculous to him. He never got around to doing it though since she didn't really need it. For the longest time the only person she knew in this world was him and she already had access to one of his spare laptops and even his tablet on occasion.
A cellphone just seemed like an unnecessary expense.
Then she made friends with Amelia the redheaded menace and ever since the two have become acquainted with each other Ezraphel has become more interested in the social aspects of earth technology. This was despite the fact that she could literally teleport or open a portal to the other woman whenever she wanted. Stanley couldn't really do anything about Amelia's influence steering her in that direction in the same vain that he couldn't do anything about her situation with the DHC.
'Now that I think about it the DHC might not be the only people she's taking advice from.'
He did not remember showing Ezraphel how to navigate through Amazon in such a way that she could find the best deals. The DHC would find her lack of knowledge on the subject too suspicious for her to risk asking them but Amelia was perfect for it.
'Yeah no she's definitely taking advice from Amelia.'
Funny how he never really thought about stuff like this until just now but in his defense it wasn't as if Ezraphel was giving him updates on what she got up to on her own time. Well she would if he asked but he's not that interested.
"So…" he paused drumming his fingers against his desk "a phone huh?"
Now comes the age old question for anyone
"Haa~ but which one though?" he wondered aloud with a sigh.
Apple or Android?
He snorted 'as if it were even a competition.'
With that he closed the majority of his previously opened tabs to open a new one to browse. Now that he had an idea of what he was getting her Stanley's mind couldn't help but to wonder what Ezraphel planned to give him.
'Probably food or sex…or both.'
Definitely both.
Meanwhile…
Ezraphel had a problem.
Seated in one of the many spirit realms she made in the house this one made to resemble a Victorian era lounge room Ezraphel had called a meeting. Also present in the lounge were two women who could be considered to be her closest confidantes in this world. The first was Amelia her first and (currently) only human best friend from Earth and the other was 'A' the sentient Golem whose presence she was keeping a secret from Stanley.
"…and that's the situation currently" Ezraphel finished her explanation while looking to the two "what do you think?"
Amelia shared a look with A who met her quizzical gaze with a blank expression. Despite this the partially corrupted woman could actually understand what the Golem was trying to convey without her saying a word or even making a facial expression. If she was being honest it was a little unnerving knowing what someone wanted to say without the doing or saying anything.
'How did I end up in this situation?' the redhead thought to herself.
Despite only knowing Ezraphel for just a few short months they kept in touch through the Lilim's semi-frequent visits to her shared apartment with hr fiancé via teleportation. Amelia didn't really mind it since the Lilim was considerate enough to pick appropriate times and didn't overstay her welcome. Not that Amelia would ever consider the woman a bother as she had gotten to know Ezraphel a lot over their overall shared time together and she was genuinely good company to have around.
Every now and then Ezraphel would invite Amelia here without the grouchy man's knowledge lest he make a stink about her presence. What they do mostly involves talking which allowed Amelia to get to know her new friend better. Now she was familiar with the other woman's personality quirks as well as what she and Stanley got up to in their private time. Shockingly Amelia had no problems with this since it's not as if she was shy about gossiping about what she and Liam got up to in their own private time.
Besides it wasn't just inane gossip Ezraphel actually gave good relationship advice that has so far managed to improve her romantic life. So it's only fair that Amelia return the favor, not that she would've turned down a plea for help from her friend in the first place. The other woman, Golem which Ezraphel created and somehow accidentally gave sentience was not such a shock since she became familiar with 'A' a long time ago.
So with that said one might be wondering what exactly this meeting of the brain trust was supposed to be about. simply put they were gathered here to help Ezraphel brainstorm ideas about what kind of gift she should give Stanley. It had to be something special considering that this was their first Christmas together.
Right off the bat Amelia voiced her stipulation "it can't be related to food or sex."
That seemed to give the Lilim pause before her expression turned to disbelief "eh? I can't give Stanley food or sex as a Christmas gift?" she exclaimed.
"Girl you've been giving that man some combination of one or either of those things to him literally every day since the first month you met" Amelia answered with a slight deadpan.
"…"
The Golem said nothing however the seemingly pointed look she gave the Lilim spoke volumes.
"You're right A I will be giving him food and sex on Christmas regardless anyway" she nodded to herself
"So with that out of the way what are your options based on his interest?"
"Airsoft and videogames" Ezraphel spoke easily enough.
"Of course" Amelia rolled her eyes in exasperation.
"…" A raised a brow towards the only human in the room.
Amelia scoffed "you're I don't know why expected more for him."
"Stanley does wear his interests on his sleeve so to speak."
"You know normally I'd say this narrows down our search and makes it easier to find him something but with Stan I think limiting the search might be bad."
"How so?"
"From what you tell me the guy is an active collector for his interests. He has a literal small library of videogame memorabilia in his man cave and an airsoft museum showcase in his basement. Has he stopped adding to those since you started living here?"
"No we do still receive deliveries for his collections" Ezraphel informed.
"I thought so. If you're going to give him a gift worthwhile then it will have to be something that he doesn't have…and if he doesn't have it then it might be something impossible for us to get."
Ezraphel mulled over Amelia's words and came to the sobering realization that she might be right.
"…" just then A got her attention and after a moment both women blinked in surprise.
The Lilim tilted her head somewhat "is that so?"
Amelia was rubbing her chin as she contemplated the 'words' "that's not a bad idea actually and hey we still have two more weeks."
Ezraphel couldn't help but smile at that they were already off to a good start and they had plenty of time to figure out a proper gift for her Stanley.