Once inside he locked the door behind him and went to his bookshelf filled with hardcopies of videogames catalogued by year and platform. He removed the Diablo 2 box set to reveal a plain old black plastic bag. After retrieving it he looked inside to find a relatively small item encased in Christmas themed gift wrap paper complete with a little red bow.
Heading outside with his little plastic bag he made his way to the living room where he was greeted with the Christmas tree which has become something of a centerpiece for Ezraphel's decorating. The first time he saw the results of her personal touch Stanley actually froze in amazement. He even took a picture which counts for something because outside of Ezraphel getting her hands on it his phone's camera didn't see much use from him.
That's not what caught his attention however, it was the multiple gifts sitting under the tree.
The first thought that came to mind was 'are those real?'
He's heard of and seen prop presents used in this situation to enhance the aesthetics but he didn't believe Ezraphel would do something like this.
"…!"
Suddenly he felt arms wrapped around him from behind followed by a pair of familiar softness on the back of his head.
"Isn't it wonderful Stanley?"
"Yeah great" he stated before gesturing to the presents "what are those?"
"Those are gifts Stanley" she answered slowly as if speaking to a child.
"Uh-huh" he ignored her sass "and where did they come from?"
"I made them."
"Those aren't for me are they?"
Ezraphel blinked "oh no, I made those for my friends. I just decided to put them there because it just seemed right."
He fought the urge to ask who those 'friends' were and instead nodded "cool. By the way here," he lifted the plastic bag over his head to her face then added "Merry Christmas."
The reaction he expected didn't come and instead of a squeal of delight followed by grabbing the present and ripping it open to the inside as he expected she instead slowly grasped the her hand over the plastic bag and the present inside.
"F-for me?" she stuttered with a shaky tone in her voice.
Stanley's bros dropped as pushed himself out of her embrace to get a better look at her. Ezraphel seemingly didn't even notice this as her eyes were glued to the gift she held in her hand with the kind of reverence that to him seemed a bit much.
"Yeah" he replied slowly.
She held the plastic bag to her chest with a "thank you Stanley!"
"It's just a Christmas present Ez, you don't have to be so melodramatic about it."
"But this is the first gift you've given me."
'This sounds familiar' he thought as she unknowingly echoed his thoughts when he was pondering said gift.
"It's really not that deep."
In response Ezraphel booped him on the nose with her finger "you should know better than to lie to me Stanley."
"…" Stanley glared at her for a moment before looking away with a grumble.
Okay so maybe he was trying to downplay things because in reality he was anxious about her reaction despite knowing she would love his gift.
"But-" he tried again only to have that same finger from before press on his lips.
"No buts"
Seeing that things were not going his way he sighed tiredly "just open the damn present already."
The Lilim grinned in spite of his tone "gladly and meanwhile you can unwrap yours."
With that Ezraphel waved her hand and a sizeable gift wrapped present materialized in the air above him. He easily caught it with his supernatural reflexes while giving her an annoyed look however she was already walking away to sit by the coffee table to unwrap her present.
Stanley looked to his own present feeling a spark of curiosity because this gift of hers was by no means small. It was almost 4 ft wide and two feet lengthwise in his hands with a decent weight to it. He had a few guesses as to what Ezraphel might be getting him. He didn't think sex, food or another demon realm adventure was on the table since he was getting the former two anyway and he shot down the latter early on.
'Definitely not clothes' he thought to himself 'shit now I really want to know.'
He glanced at Ezraphel only to find her staring at him in anticipation. It made him feel defensive for some reason.
"What?"
"Aren't you going to open your gift?"
"Aren't you?" he shot back.
She glanced at her present then at him "you first."
'You've got to be fucking kidding me.'
Stanley knew exactly what was going on, both of them wanted to witness the other's reaction to their gifts.
"You know what?" Stanley decided to get this over with and after setting the box down proceeded to rip open the wrapping.
Behind the wrapping paper he found a box that gave him pause. It was a nondescript cardboard box. He looked to Ezraphel with a raised brow only to find her grinning which gave him pause. Her gaze seemed to urge him to continue and so he obliged with curiosity and anticipation.
He opened the box and pulled out a rectangular styrofoam box then opened it to find…
"…what the fuck?" he muttered in disbelief.
Sitting inside the styrofoam mold was a model replica of the Mark 2 Lancer Assault Rifle, the iconic weapon from the Gears of War series.
'…no fucking way she doesn't know I already have this.'
Yet as he gazed at the replica he found the rather stark differences between his replica and Ezraphel's gift. For one he could tell at a glance that Ezraphel's gift was more than just a replica. He could feel the mana emanating from it which he noted was something he did not sense until he got through the styrofoam mold. The weapon had sections that were dimly lit with violet light as he remembered from the games revealing its power source to be magical in nature.
The most visually telling difference however was its size. The replica he owned was a large 4ft wide monstrosity that could have passed off as something used by fictional super soldiers with the size and physique of gym bros on steroids. Naturally it was unwieldy for someone his size but that was the point, it was merely a prop, one he put on a literal pedestal inside his office.
This on the other hand was far more compact, small enough that someone of his size could wield it and he did not fail to notice the barrel was painted orange. Tentatively Stanley picked up the weapon to inspect it with discerning eyes and with a slight tremble in hands. What he found was that not only was its size practically custom made to be wielded by someone of his frame but that the chainsaw blade while fake was not unresponsive as he was able to move it back and forth.
He then discovered a ripcord attachment and felt compelled to pull.
*VRZZZ*
"No fucking way" he whispered once again in awe staring at the moving fake chainsaw blades.
Letting go of the ripcord he flicked the side latch causing the magazine to partially eject allowing him to pull it off and inspect it. Just as he thought the magazine was clearly one where pellets could be loaded into it and for a moment Stanley nearly scrambled to find his speed loader only to remember where he was and froze. Then with a brief flash of mana his eyes turned towards a speed loader sitting within arm's reach.
He didn't even bother questioning this as he took it and fed pellets into the magazine with the practiced ease of an airsoft veteran. He made sure to count how much and found it capped out at 50, just like the second game onwards. After loading back the magazine into the rifle he took aim at a far wall or at least he thought it was but found actual targets instead as if they had always been there.
Once again he simply rolled with it after taking aim with the crosshair pulled the trigger.
*Papapapap*
The first couple of shots gave him pause but he kept going. He adjusted his aim and position as he emptied the magazine firing unerring shots at the targets. As he finished firing the last pellet and the magazine clicked empty Stanley lowered the weapon and looked at it. Right then a single thought came to mind.
'It works' he thought caught in a suspension of disbelief 'Ezraphel gave me an airsoft replica of a Gears of War Lancer…and it works.'
Looking towards Ezraphel he found her staring at him with an expression that was more than smug.
"You like?" she asked sounding very pleased with herself.
Stanley stared for a moment before closing his eyes and nodded "yep."
"Excellent!" she celebrated.
But while Ezraphel was patting herself on the back for a job well done Stanley carefully put down the gift and marched over to Ezraphel with a look of determination.
"Um Stanley?" the Lilim had no idea what he was about to do so when he suddenly pulled her off the couch spun her into a dip she could only shout out a surprised "eep!"
"I don't know how to properly express my feelings with words so just take this" Stanley said seriously without a change in his stern expression.
Ezraphel still holding onto her present could only get out a "wha?" before she was interrupted by a kiss.
This was no ordinary kiss however as Ezraphel could attest as she was bombarded with all the feelings and emotions he refused to express. Such passion would immediately overwhelm the senses of a lesser woman but Ezraphel was anything but. And while Stanley had passion he had merely adopted it she on the other hand was a being who was born from passion; she was molded by it and-
"HMMMMPH♥~"
A fatal error has occurred at Ezraphel.exe. The current application will be restarted.
By the time Ezraphel came to she was being deposited on the couch. She felt breathless with her chest heaving but most pressingly she felt needy with a fire that had been stoked
"Stanley~" she moaned feeling the ever present fire becoming larger having been fed through the searing kiss.
*Bonk*
Just as she got ready to pounce on him Ezraphel was hit in the head with part of the styrofoam mold causing her to recoil out of shock.
"What?"
"No horny" he stated.
"But-"
*Bonk*
"No. Horny." He reiterated sharply his eyes narrowing dangerously.
Ezraphel opened her mouth to give an indignant retort only for Stanley to raise the styrofoam once again practically daring her to say something.
With that she pouted "you started it."
He rolled his eyes "open your damn present already."
Ezraphel kept her pout up for a moment longer before it melted away in the face of finally getting to her own gift which revealed a black rectangular box for the Samsung Galaxy S21 Ultra. The sight caused the Lilim's smile to freeze in place before it gave way to a frown.
"A cellphone?"
She sounded more confused than disappointed but that didn't make seeing the lackluster reaction any less difficult for Stanley whose anxiety spiked because of it.
"Y-yeah" he half stuttered "I figured it was time for you to have your phone. I mean it would be weird for you to not have your own phone at this point."
Ezraphel blinked then glanced from him to the box before tilting her head a bit "huh."
"Well don't get too excited" he grumbled.
A moment later and he was pulled into a hug "aw, don't be like that Stanley. It's not that I don't appreciate the gift I am just surprised is all."
Stanley pushed himself out of her embrace with furrowed brows "surprised?"
"That you'd trust me with this" she waved the box "unless you intend to impose the same limitations on this device as you did with the others."
It shouldn't surprise him that she figured out he put restrictions on certain websites for all the devices that she might get her hand on which was basically everything except his personal computer that was password protected. Yet for some reason he was because Ezraphel and 'tech savvy' was a concept he was still getting used to.
"No restrictions" he clarified stuffing his hands in the pocket of his pants "and I'd like to say that this isn't me taking a gamble either since that would imply there were risks involved with giving you your own personal phone. At this point I'm pretty sure you've grasp the inherent dangers of having one with unrestricted WiFi access."
At this Ezraphel's smile turned wry as she answered "oh yes you've personally made sure of that."
"The internet is a wonderful but fucked up place Ez. It has a tendency to consume people, chew them up and spit them out. I've seen it turn genuinely good people into some of the worst scumbags and I really don't want to see what it would do to you."
Ezraphel was touched, genuinely so but she knew that if it were only a few months ago she would have ultimately dismissed his concerns. Now though she fully understood what he meant having been exposed to the internet, even in this limited form, for months now. It also helped that Stanley wasn't exactly shy about pointing her to numerous examples of the worst case scenarios of the effects of the internet on people.
Ezraphel has even picked up the unhealthy habit of doom scrolling as a result and from what she's discovered her Stanley hit the target when he said the internet is a wonderful but fucked up place.
So when she said "I understand Stanley" she very much meant it.
"Great so open the box and let's get you set up."
"Will I be allowed to sign up for social media as well?"
Stanley twitched, closed his eyes, banished thoughts of worst case scenarios and took a deep breath before replying "you're a grown woman of sound mind with proper contextual understanding of the modern world" his eyes opened with a kind of defiant determination "you can do whatever you want so long as it doesn't get us in trouble with the government or blows up in our faces."
"So like usual then?"
"Basically."
"Good thing I am not planning to garner any attention then."
Stanley looked at her for a moment "yeah that's not possible."
Ezraphel pouted "I am not an attention whore Stanley."
"…"
"…not that much at least."
"Alright let's for a moment just disregard your inability to remain inconspicuous without using magic-"
"Hey!"
"-it wouldn't be possible anyway because…well…" he trailed off with a cringe tinted with guilt.
Ezraphel obviously picked this up "what is it?"
"You know that one picture Amelia took of us that one time as a joke?"
"Yes, what about it?"
"Well people found out I was the guy you were with and there were a lot of people asking questions about it so I…kind of admitted that you were my girlfriend during a livestream."
"Oh" Ezraphel's expression remained unconcerned, more curious really "and that is bad?"
"Not to toot my own horn here but I'm kind of a known quantity online and-"
"I am aware" she interrupted lightly.
"You are?"
"I have glimpsed the name of your online persona before and searched for it out of curiosity" she arched her brow "you are quite the controversial figure in certain spaces Stanley."
"Right so basically I don't think it's possible for you to remain an unknown at this point."
"You are worried I will come under heavy scrutiny due to my affiliation with you."
"You already are" he stated with a sardonic grit of his teeth "I wouldn't be surprised if you've got some fans based on that one fucking picture."
Ezraphel leaned back with a hum at this information. Even with her Stanley not-so-subtly influencing her against the idea Ezraphel would be lying if she said that the thought of becoming 'internet famous' wasn't a tantalizing prospect. She also agreed with him that it would be virtually impossible for her to just be 'another pretty face' on the internet. If it wasn't through her affiliation with Stanley's online persona then it would by virtue of her being…well…herself.
Ezraphel was a self admitted attention whore even if 'not that much' was really in reference to the fact that she didn't jeopardize her public cover for personal gratification. Though if she were being honest Stanley's presence acted as a deterrent in of itself for not indulging in this aspect of her personality.
"It's not as if I have to make a social media account so soon and even if I do it doesn't mean I have share pictures."
"There is that" he nodded.
"Don't worry Stanley I'll make sure to get your opinion before I do something like that."
His shoulders sagged a bit with relief "I guess that's all I can ask."
"Great!" Ezraphel chirped then held up the box "now can you help me in figuring out how to operate this contraption."
"You know how to use a phone Ez" he stated with lidded eyes.
"Correction, I know how to use your phone and only barely since you don't like it when I do."
"That's because you keep filling it with thirst trap pics and nude selfies!" he hissed out.
"Well now you won't have to worry about that since I can now just send them to you instead."
"Anything you send is going to be recorded by a third party somewhere out there."
That gave Ezraphel pause for a moment before she shrugged "then they will forever seethe, mald and lust with envy at something they will never experience for themselves."
For a long moment Stanley could only stare at a genuine loss for words. Or was it that he had so many things to say but couldn't properly articulate yet the indignant expression spoke volumes. Abruptly he locked his mouth shut did an about face and picked up his airsoft lancer.
As he began to load pellets into it Ezraphel's smug expression gained a tinge of nervousness as her danger sense tingled. When he loaded the magazine the tingling was proceeded by flashing lights. Then he turned around with that expression and that's when the klaxons started blearing.
"N-now Stanley-"
"You know I might as well practice on a moving target anyway."
"Meep!"
Later…
After an impromptu chase around the house and the subsequent cleanup afterwards Stanley spent the rest of the morning helping Ezraphel navigate her new phone along with its accessories. In the afternoon he accompanied her when she delivered her gifts to the neighbors. Afterwards they went to the city simply enjoying the sights and came back home in the evening where they spent the remainder of their first Christmas together eating a hearty meal and watching classic holiday movies together before taking it upstairs where Ezraphel revealed the second part of Stanley's Christmas gift.
In the words of Stanley that night:
"Best. Christmas. Ever."
~The End?~