I need to sleep...
I came across a dead body the other day...
and needless to say,
it really took me by surprise.
there is no way I could see the life or death in her eyes
she was face down
all I could do was fight back the tears I was doomed to cry...
And I haven't slept much since that day.
The mental image and smell just won't go away.
I keep trying to block out the words I never heard her say
"My mom hasn't come home yet, have you seen her today?"
And I had a nightmare
As I snuck off to take a nap on the 13th floor.
I could hear the janitorial keys clanging
As I lay there on the floor
I tried to force myself awake
I couldn't take it anymore
They were pushing against me
Trying to get into the door.
And I dreamed of red holes in white eyeless faces.
Climbing out of the darkest places.
I feel cooped up in open places.
And I just keep seeing her
Face down.
Faceless.
I need to sleep...
Now I hate coming to this building.
Feeling
As if her body was sitting on the sealing.
Reeling.
I try to rationalize what I'm dealing with
But I can't seem to shake the feeling
That I MUST NOT FORGET...
I need to sleep...
And maybe it isn't my fault.
I'm delusional
Something inside of me has given in to the illusion
No.
I couldn't save her
I know that everyone has got to go
But that doesn't take away the feeling that I was clueless though.
I was here.
I was there when she took her last breath.
I was on duty when -faceless- fell to her death.
I was the one who felt no pulse
Felt that she was dead
Now the image and memory refuse to leave my head.
I need to let it go
But I can't even let it all out.
I tried
Under that steaming showerhead.
Late into the night...
I can't imagine being alone when death comes.
The 20 floor was silent...Not even a peep.
But I can imagine it.
Vividly.
Which is why I can't sleep...